Your Guide to the Authors
MH = Marcel Hillie
PS = Phil Schneider
PR = Phil Rippa
MARCEL HILLIE: After a typically long day in the Telecommunications Factory, I head to the AMC Court House Movie Theatre to pick up Phil and Phil (The South Arlington Taxicab Ministry rides again!). I settled in for a long wait, as they were both at the mercy of the WMATA Subway system.
PHIL SCHNEIDER: I spent the day working at the prestigious Washington Post Writers group, where among other things I got a high quality photo print of Luther and Johnny Htoo to put up on my wall. ENVY ME! I came straight from work so I was sporting the Kenneth Cole dress shirt and tie, which contrasted greatly with the standards fan attire of acid washed Lee Jeans and Rock T-Shirt.
PHIL RIPPA: A day full of meetings, birthday parties and wedding plans, I did a drive-by on my apartment so I could dump the work clothes and unseccessfully try and get the little lady to tape Olympic Wrestling. After, hearing that every line of the Metro in every direction is delayed, I finally get to the movie theater, where I still managed to arrive before Schneider.
MH: We pile into my car and discuss the route of transportation that will take the least amount of time. DJ Killa Cali (Schneider) supplies the hip-hop tape with the awesome Biz Markie cover of Benny & The Jets (yeah, I said it - you need to listen to this song). Rippa’s impending nuptials are also discussed, along with Dean’s wedding present of a bag of tapes to index.
PR: I envisioned turning around right after the ceremony was completed and seeing Ray passing around the lastest Ayako Hamada card, while Marcel bemoaning that Dean gave him more Rings to watch and Schneider took a quick head count to see how many single ladies were there.
PS: When Biz started shrieking BENNY BENNY BENNY, Marcel was laughing
so hard he nearly swerved off the road. The tape also had lots of Smut
Peddlers who are the cutting edge of Caucasian hip hop, they are a Y2K
3rd Bass I tells yah. Rippa loses hip points by copping to buying a Young
Teenagers album, and I trump him with my purchase of a Terrie B tape from a flea market in the early 90’s (Come on Murder She Wrote rocked, why do you fight it?)
MH: As we swerve in and out of traffic to avoid the morons who are allowed to have driver’s licenses in Maryland, it should also be noted that thanks to Rippa, the “Dean gets drunk and puts the blast on Schneider” jokes were in full effect here. Rippa must be trying to get Schneider hooked up – he also suggested that I buy him some roses off the guy on the freeway. He’ll have a much better chance of getting to first base with Dean.
PR: I am just trying to help a brother out.
PS: Rippa’s pre-wedding jitters are manifesting themselves in bizarre and uncomfortable ways.
MH: We arrive. I was expecting some kind of hideous dive, but instead it’s a nice little banquet hall. We pay the twelve bucks and opt to stand all night. We peruse the back section, including the MCW Merchandise, the WWF action figures/Halloween masks, and the video tape stand. (Smart Mark Video. Heh.)
PR: After convincing the guy selling tickets that we didn't need $15 second seats, we passed the full bar and headed over to the far wall, settling in behind Jeff Amdur, who, thankfully, didn't hear our good natured heckling.
MH: The opening angle consists of the Commish (think a blond Pete Gas)
is chatting with a Big Guy with Dreadlocks. Apparently, the Big Dread
is old friends with MCW Champion Jimmy Cicero. This, of course, brings
out Cicero and his crew, Total Quality Management (tQm). The stable
Cicero, Tag Champs Christopher Carmichael (nee’ Cueball) and Dino Devine, Cruiserweight Champ Chad Bowman (nee’ Austin), Chad’s brother Chip, and the valet, Tara. Cicero acts all buddy-buddy with the Big Dread, repenting for his actions. The Big Dread, of course, then gets pounded into the ground by
PS: I believe the Big Guy is some sort of local Balto go-go artisit and/or Radio DJ. He cut a decent promo, but it was just an ominous portent of talking to come.
PR: I will say this - tQm has some swanky entrance music. Which is good since it was played about seven times during the course of the evening.
GILLBERG vs. RICKY BLUES
MH: Gillberg pinned “Street Punk” Ricky Blues following the spear/jackhammer combo. I had my doubts about Ricky as soon as I saw a street punk in a purple singlet and kicker boots. They were confirmed when he badly blew a huracarana spot and then redid it, blowing it again. Gillberg is Gillberg. Not the worst match, but I’ve seen roughly 1,000 better ones.
PR: Ricky Blues is like the 64th best Bobby Blayze on the wrestling circuit. I will say one thing, Gillberg is WAY more over than Goldberg.
PS: I kind of dug Ricky Blues, he wrestled sort of like a really shitty undercard Tijuana luchadore, with his blown rana, missed in ring tornado splash, and he even broke out the swinging cradle submission, which we all freaked out and partied for. During the sports entertainment that followed I got off my first Pete Stienism as the commissioner was talking about how the games kept going on and on, I yelled “kind of like this promo” we all laughed but I felt vaguely ill afterward.
MH: Platinum Nat then comes out and offers to guide Blues to the top level (using a whole bunch of religious talk that I swore was going to get the ring struck down by a thunderbolt). He accepts. The topic then turns to the Holy Rollers (Earl the Pearl & Rich Myers), who have been suspended from MCW. They come out to help welcome Blues to the Congregation. They come out wearing t-shirts of the Executioners, which brings out the Commish, who isn’t convinced that the Holy Rollers haven’t been posing as the Executioners during their suspension. The Executioners are then brought out. The Commish notices that these are two skinny black guys and look nothing like the Holy Rollers. A match is then booked between the Rollers and the Executioners, Rollers are reinstated if they win.
CARMICHAEL/DEVINE vs. YORK/MATTHEWS
MH: Christopher Carmichael (nee’ Cueball) and Dino Devine beat Christian York and Joey Matthews to retain the MCW Tag Team Championship. I was all set to hate this match as I still remember Cueball and York not being very good the last time I saw them (no, I don’t watch ECW). That said, York and Matthews did okay here – I could stand to watch a couple more of those matches. I’m not discussing Dino “Slap-punch” Devine for a reason.
PS: This match didn’t stink as much as it should, being that Devine and Carmicheal are the worst team I have ever seen. Joey Matthews, who I have seen a lot of over the years, has really improved. Someone showed him how to throw a credible worked punch and he brought the death. York still kind of sucks though. Devine picked up the shitty punch mantle and seemed to blow everything he tried. Still not as bad as it should have been.
PR: Ray and Pete had mentioned that York and Matthews had improved based on what they had seen at the ECW tag tournament so I was pleased to see that it was somewhat true. Christian still has a long way to go but Joey was about as good as I have ever seen him. We had a looonnngggg discussion on who was worse - Dino, Cueball or Boogie Woogie Brown.
MH: At some point around here, Rippa and I go for food. The indy fare that I’ve been exposed to never went any farther than pizza, hot dogs, and coke. So the chicken fingers and bottled water surprised me a bit. Schneider opts to wait for fast-food afterwards. At about this time, we notice the three stripper-looking young ladies in front of us. (One even had a Playboy shirt on. Due to my buying the chicken fingers, I’m all out of singles.). They’re with this seedy-looking guy.
PS: That dude had to be a Waldorf, MD pimp. He had the skanky looking trim, plus that focused “I have a butterfly knife in my pocket” glint in his eye.
PR: There was quite the influx of 30 year old moms in skin tight black leather dragging their kids around the show. There were also a ton of mullets and gap tooth grins. Welcome to Upper Maryland.
HOLY ROLLERS vs. THE EXECUTIONERS
MH: Earl The Pearl/Rich Myers beat "The Executioners" - two guys that we have never heard of. As per pre-card angle, Earl and Rich are reinstated in MCW. The same old “I agreed to job to you five minutes ago, but now I want to beat you” thing. The Executioners didn’t do a whole lot (and what they did wasn’t too good). Myers was good – far and away the best worker in the match. There I go not discussing someone again (When you base your character on Road Dogg, don’t expect too much). During the match, a guy who seems to be well on his way to getting hammered keeps trying to make conversation with us. I smile and focus on the match.
PR: That guy was very, very, umm.... strange. He seemed to be a little too into the boys, if you get my drift. Anyway, Earl has danced and eaten his way right next to Road Dogg on the 500. That being not on it. One of the Executioners looked to be a skinner, taller version of Jodie Fleish - without the spots and bumping.
PS: Myers rocked, everyone else … did not. The rookies under the Executioner masks were greener then Amy Van Dyken’s jealous heart, and were sloppy even by the standards of this card.
CHAD BOWMAN vs. QEENAN CREED
MH: Qeenan Creed beat Chad Bowman via DQ in an MCW Cruiserweight Title match. Qeenan Creed – new wrestler that I want more of on tape. This was booked to high heaven, which was a shame, as this had built to a nice little match (thanks mostly to Qeenan actually selling for the entire match and afterwards.) Bowman brought a chain to the proceedings and used it on Creed. Creed came back and won the match . Somehow the chain got stuffed into Creed’s tights and fell out when the ref awarded the belt to Creed. So
the belt went back to Bowman, well then the Big Dread From The Opening Angle came out and talked to the ref, who then reversed the decision again, giving Creed the DQ win, but not the title. Despite the booking, a fun match. Need more Creed.
PS: I have seen Qeenan before, and imagine he has already started training
with Mike Modest (who is head trainer for that BET startup league which
Creed is in) as he sold like a motherfucker and that is a big Modest thing.
Really good match with Creed taking some big bumps (including toasting
his shoulder on the ringpost and selling it the entire match, warms my
heart) and some big moves including a swank bridged Tiger Suplex. The former
Chad Austin ( of New Jack beating fame) looked pretty good too, although
didn’t take any of his signature stupid bumps (which is probably a good thing.) We were quite the world most irritating dorks during this match as we kept adjusting Creed’s DVDVR 500 rating based on how much he sold his ribs and arm (he may have shot into the bottom 100.) If they didn’t book the fuck out of the ending this would be a legit Indy MOTYC.
PR: This was the Best Maryland Championship Wrestling Match that we have seen live (The ending put it below the Hardys/York/Matthews four-way). Schneider was pulling quite the Rasmussen as the match went on, "Hey, Creed still selling the ribs - #12. Who's better than that?"
MH: Intermission. We get some air and check out the…people milling about outside. Never seen so many teenage girls smoking cigarettes in my life. We keep to ourselves, watch the little kids play wrestle (their eternal indy careers starts now!), and debate heading back for the city early.
PS: Man, Indy card intermissions are such classic Americana. Lots of guys who could fix the shit out of your carberator, lots of 14 year old girls smoking with their moms, lots of big Rural Maryland assess. There aren’t a lot of early morning aerobics classes in Southern Maryland, there are a lot of Winstons and Budwisers and Hungry Man Microwave Chicken Fried Steak dinners with mashed potatoes, and when they go out to dinner at Shoneys and order salads, it always has iceburg lettuce and ham, and viscous Ranch dressing. Lots of electricians and beauticians, no physicians, I love that shit, honestly intermissions are one of my favorite parts of Indy wrestling shows.
PR: My contribution was that there obvioudsly were no Tae-Bo tapes being rented at the local Blockbuster. Schneider was also able to point out which of the teenagers were going to their cars to smoke pot.
RONNIE ZUKKO vs. CHIP BOWMAN
MH: “Soda Pop” Ronnie Zukko pinned Chip Bowman. Apparently the big feud in the promotion is Tara (TQM valet who got trashier as the night went on – lost the glasses, took the hair down) vs. Candie (Zukko’s valet). How do I know? The lone sign of the evening was “Tara fears Candie” Ya know, Zukko
and Candie came down to “My boyfriend’s back” and I’m fairly certain that women didn’t dress like that in the 50s – I was waiting for Candie to slip getting into the ring and give the fans a free peek. The match was…eh, not bad.
PS: It wasn’t any good either. The ending was like some super shitty NJ Juniors match with Zukko hitting all these viable Indy finishers (top rope flatliner, superkick) and Bowman kicking out, nothing previous to that mitigated the shittyness either.
PR: I really had no interest in this match. Ronnie Zukko and Candie were the two who were featured in the rather unflattering Washington Post article from a few weeks back.
HAAS BROTHERS vs. ADAM FLASH
MH: Adam Flash beat the Haas Brothers in a handicap match. Mikey Whipwreck was supposed to be Flash's tag partner but he got stuck in traffic and missed the show – we know this wasn’t an angle because 1) He didn’t make the big run-in during the match like we were waiting for and 2) The Commish told
us he was shooting with us. The Haas boys are good – I think the one with the Goatee was better,
whichever one did the tope, I’m thinking. Carmichael and Divine inexplicably come down during the match and cause the Haases to lose. Suitably enraged, the Haases challenge the champs to a title match next month. Flash did well – bumping like a madman the whole night, even if his offense wasn’t anything special (decent guillotine, though). Wouldn’t mind seeing more of the Haas boys, either.
PS: The Haas boys looked good, although it was hard to really evaluate them because this was basically a squash match with a cheap ending. Some of their moves were a little flourishy for my taste though. Bumping like a madman seems a little generous to me.
PR: It was disappointing that Whipwreck didn't make it since this was the one match we were convinced was going to be good. The Haas boys seem to be a more talented version of O'Haire/Jinjrak (both teams sure love them steriods though.) Flash probably wrestled his way back onto the 500. Oh and Divine through the WORST belt shot I have ever seen.
BRUSIER vs. CORPORAL PUNISHMENT
MH: Corporal Punishment beat the Brusier. Straight garbage style all the way. Yeesh, this wasn’t good. We begin with an ECW style brawl on the far side of the building. They bring it back to the ring, and after more garbaging it up, the Corporal pulls a knife (? Scissors?) and threatens to kill the Bruiser, taunting him and everyone else that he can’t be touched because he owns half the company. He calls the security guys his bitches and that they’ll never get their first matches if they bother him. This is a total, complete shoot, BTW. Mark Schrader comes out and Cpl. gets on him too, saying that he wasn’t Danny, he was Corporal Punishment! Shoot, owns half the company, shoot. Shoot. Owns half the company. Yawn. Corporal Punishment is allowed to train people? Yow.
PS: This was fucking awful, they do three minutes of Brian Knobbsian brawling. Then Corporal and his tertiary ICP looking manager handcuff Brusier and Corporal starts screaming about showing him the difference between a work and a shoot, and calling him Steve or something, then he yells that security are just his students and he is untouchable because he owns half the company. These stupid angles never work, because at a wrestling show you want to suspend disbelief and get into the spirit, and having some idiot tell you that everything you saw before was fake, but this is real (when it is obvious this is just as fake, if not faker then everything else) just spits in your face for getting into the artiface of the show. Fuck Vince Russo and all he has spawned. Shoot my left nutsack.
PR: I am troubled by the fact that the three head trainers at Bonebreakers are Punishment, The Brusier and Mark "The Shark" Shrader. Yikes! It probably explain why ever single match had the reverse DDT and someone getting crotched on the top rope.
ADAM FLASH vs. JULIO DINERO
MH: Adam Flash beat Julio Dinero. Main event time, which means main event angle. Apparently at the last show, Dinero helped out TQM and was paid well for it, so neither one wanted to fight each other and that the match was off. We had no problem with this. However, the Commish came out and insisted that the fans get a main event, so Adam Flash (who had come out and gave TQM static about all this) would fight Dinero and if he won, would get a title match against Cicero tonight. You know how this stuff goes, right? If you don’t, Flash beats Dinero via heel miscommunication and gets a title match – TONIGHT!
PS: Boy golly, neither match nor angle was any good at all. Dinero looked like quite the guy who thought he was big time now, so he was going to mail it in on the Indy card (despite the fact that MCW actually paid him, while he gets the rubber Heyman checks in ECW)
PR: I can hear Hangman Tim's heart breaking at the badmouthing of Julio but he sure looked like he didn't even want to be there. You know, if you are going to have Flash wrestle three times, you probably should have put the tag match on the other side of Intermission.
JIMMY CICERO vs. ADAM FLASH
MH: Jimmy Cicero beat Adam Flash. I honestly don’t remember too much about this match, except for the fact that Flash had gotten the win and then a whole bunch of booking kicked in. Everyone gets involved at the end, locker room clears out, big ol’ schmozz, heel valet gets a big kiss from the pretty-boy faces (York & Christian), and then a Rock Bottom, thank you, good night.
PR: This is probably the best of the Cicero gimmicks. It sure is a bunch better than Shiek Cicero or Stone Cold Cicero or Gay Cicero or any of the other lamentable ideas he as tried out. Anyway, there was a big bunch of Dusty booking. Romeo Valentino came out to replace the knocked out ref but since Valentino was fired by Corporal Punishment, CP reversed the decision. Candie gave Tara a better Rock Bottom than the Rock actually delivers.
PS: The crowd was the worst I have ever seen at a wrestling show, completely dead, except for some attempts to start some shitty ECW style chants. In theory parts of the show should have popped them as it was decently booked for an Indy (i.e. it had some crowd tested heat points), but Northern wrestling crowds blow.
MH: We hustle like mad back to the city, stopping only for Schneider to get some Wendy’s, then KFC, then Wendy’s. The drive-in person was immature and a little short with me, making it just like the Wendy's here in VA. We eventually get back on the road, listening to Schneider complain about the fries while stuffing them into his face. We make it back in good time and one by one, we stumble into bed. Pretty good stuff for an indy show. I had serious doubts after reading the review of the last show, but the Axl-less promotion acquitted themselves decently (there was still too much swearing for my tastes based the number of kids there, but they probably hear worse on the playground). I could be convinced to come back for another show.
PS: Besides the dead crowd I enjoyed myself. The thing was booked to high heaven and all the shoot shit was totally masterbatory as the crowd didn’t care and it won’t lead to anything that will foster development of the workers. Creed is a keeper though and I want to see more of the Hass boys and Rich Myers. Much better then the previous two cards, and the stench of Axl Rotten is not missed at all..
PR: MCW has improved to where it is no worse than what you see on Nitro
or Raw. The Corporal Punishment was annoyingly bad but not really offensive.
The women were amazingly not skanky (the ones working for the promotion,
those in the crowd are another story.) So with Axl off doing anti-semitic
rants in some Jeresey promtion, MCW has turned into a watchable little