The Show opens up with the locker room clearing out, including some people not on the card like Missy Hyatt and Harry Slash surround the ring as Psycho Sam Dudley says a few words about Big Dick Dudley, who had passed away during the week. They have a 10 bell salute and Sam says that he will no longer wrestle under the Dudley gimmick (which he hadn't in a few months).

THE SHOW
MATCH 1:  Larry McKinny & Stormin' Mike Norman vs. The S.A.T. (Joel & Jose Maximo)
The Maximos I think have a new outfit as they have a grey and black outfit which makes me think they should stick with the jump suits. This was sort of there. I think the Maximo's got the memo from Vince about working stiff because I was less than impressed with their strikes in the match.  There was also a pretty bad face in peril point where Jose was given a lot of time to be very close to the corner where Joel could easily make the tag with no one being there to either cut him off, drag him back or punk Joel, so I'm guessing that one's on McKinny/Norman. Norman and McKinny did hit a neat tilt-a-whirl set up into the DDP/Bam Bam Bigalow Diamond cutter double team which looked good. I also liked that they set up the Spanish Fly with some build as the SAT's go for it once and given that it's been scouted, McKinny hits the Maximos before they can hit the move.  The Maximos get back on offense shortly after and set up and hit the Spanish Fly on McKinny, but again, it's scouted as Norman comes off the top with a leg drop with a chair onto Joel and throws McKinny on top for the win.  Didn't see that one coming.

Match 2:  Defcon vs. Masked Maniac
Defcon looks like Shark Tsuchiya Jr.  Then he takes a bump and then ruins that theory. I was prepared to go into a thesis of how Shark would actually reproduce. As terrifying as a concept as that is, it is actually better than the previous Masked Maniac match I saw which consisted of a security guy's pants getting pulled down and almost getting a handjob from the bemasked promoter before being whipped on the ass with a belt.  This was terrible, but not as bad as the previous Maniac match as I didn't have to see anyone's dick or ass thanks to being on the right side of the building.  I forget how the finish was, but it was terrible.  There was a badly blow powerbomb at some point.  Don't worry, you'll get to see this on the highlight reel in hell.

Up next, Night Life comes out to do a promo.  Night Life is the heel group of the Boogie Knights, Stryker, (Kid) Kruel and Bobcat, but Drake doesn't come out with them.  Stryker returns to the group for the first time since I think January.  This builds up around Tobin mentioning all of Drake's injuries and how he couldn't be there tonight, which results in Drake coming out in a wheel chair and in a neckbrace to "No Easy Way Out" from Rocky IV.    It looks like Night Life is looking to corner the market on 80's fight movie soundtracks, which is good because I'm sure guys like Stan Bush could use the money. Drake tries to pull the team together and urges the team to continue to fight for him. As the fans taunt him, Drake gets upset and says something to the effect of "you all should have been the load that was shot on your mom's face.". Classy. Drake tells Tobin to team up with Stryker tonight.

Match 3: Natural Born Sinnerz (Boogalou & LowRida) w/ Homicide vs. Mike Tobin & Stryker w/ Bobcat & Danny Drake
This was sort of an odds and ends type match as Lou usually teams with Homicide, but LowRida is the other member of the team and Tobin is usually team with Drake. This wasn't bad, but it wasn't anything earth shattering either. Homicide was at ringside and was armed with the rubber chicken, which he used to hit the guys in the ring and also hit Drake with it at one point as well. There was a neat spot where Stryker set up his Overdrive on I think Rida and Lou ran in to break it up, but Stryker caught him and did the Overdrive and an STO type move at the same time on both guys. Stryker got in one or two mat moves, Lou did a bunch of his big suplexes, LowRida looked a little better than he has in the past. The finish was weird as it was almost like Tobin was distracting Stryker, who turned around and got hit with Lou's Exploder like brainbuster, which LowRida followed up with an Shining apprentice type Enzugiri for the pin. Post match, I believe someone hands Homicide a cream pie and someone in the ring ends up eating it. They had him a second and someone in the crowd gets pie faced. During the end of this, Luna Vachon runs in and starts beating up Bobcat some. This is mainly Luna kicking the crap out of her and throwing her into the barriers a few times before hitting her with a chair, before leaving. Not exactly the advertised match which was on their website. That also didn't like a fun beating to take.

Match 4: Nuke, some big guy & small guy vs. The Church of Nothing (Dirty Filthy Disgusting Freak (Sam Dudley), Reverend Zero (Sam's usual manager the Doctor) & the guy who may have been The New Dynamite Kid)
I didn't make out half the introductions, I only figured out who Nuke was because he had radiation symbols on his boots. It looks like they've re-gimmicked the Doctor (who's rumored to be the actual NY State Athletic Commission Doctor who checks all the wrestlers before the show) to do sort of a nihilist church gimmick who's motto is to believe in nothing or something like that. The Doctor is actually wrestling in the match. There was really nothing notable about the match, except for the fact that Freak more or less did a tribute to Dick Dudley by doing a bunch of his spots in the match. For you WWF/E fans, consisted of Albert's Baldo Bomb and his old neckbreaker out of a torture rack finisher, which for whatever it's worth, I saw Dick Dudley do first back in ECW. The finish was the Reverend doing the leg drop while Freak held the guy out for the veg-o-matic. Post match, Freak and the Reverend turn on the guy who maybe New Dynamite Kid for some reason. As they're doing it, Balls Mahoney runs in and abducts the Freak yelling something about church.

Match 5: Red vs. Xavier - USA Pro Wrestling American Title
This was a fun match, though it became the victim of over booking at the end. Similar to their encounter in ECWA, Xavier busts out a lot of power stuff against Red. He also keeps up with his new found knee strikes and also building up or calls for his big elbow smash during points of the match.  Red at one point hits the Red Star Press, but Xavier kicks out of it. I've got no beef with this because while it's a pretty move, give Red's size, the RSP on it's on shouldn't be a finisher on it's own, it should be built in combination with another move. Red hit one huge dive to the floor that had him roll and smack back first onto the first step by the stage given the amount of height he got on the move. At some point, the Hit Squad show up to ringside and are cheering on Xavier as I think they were allied, at least they were in January. Also, the Natural Born Sinnerz show up later on. Xavier hits his face first pumphandle slam on Red, but only gets a two with it. He heads up top for the 450, but the Sinnerz come down and distract the ref. This leads to the Hit Squad running in and turning on Xavier, hitting him with their Wheelbarrow Suplex/Clothesline combo and throwing Red on top for the win. Red's now the American Title champion. Post match, it turns into a 5 way beat down on Xavier until Low Ki runs out and makes the save.  During the pull apart, there's tons a paper balls thrown in the ring, the Rainmaker comes out on the stage and books two matches, pitting Homicide v. a mystery opponent and Ki against the Hit Squad in a handicap match. It seems like Ki is trying convince Xavier to take the match with him but Xavier sort of does the "I don't like you, you're on your own" leaving of the ring. As the paper ball pelting continues on Steven DeAngelis, he has to remind the crowd that the NY State athletic commission will shut down the show if they feel the ringside area is unsafe due to all the garbage (which gets answered with more paper balls). Threats of Atlas Security tossing people are met with more paper balls and menacing looks, but aside from someone being talked to, I didn't see anyone get tossed. Eventually, the junk throwing stops.

Match 6: Rockshah 337 w/ some other clowns vs. Some other guy in pink tights and goofy hair for the USA Pro Wrestling Ticket Seller's title
You know, I've paid $6 to see JAPW student shows and I think I've seen the greenest rookies have better matches than this... and I paid $20 for this show. God damn to this fucking suck. I think Jimmy Hustler was originally supposed to be in this match (and probably would have been the one to carry it), but he got upset about being put in the ticket sellers match again, so he walked out. At some point, Rockshah's Ticket Sellers world order goofy manager is doing some stick work that nobody cares about before Goodman comes out and reminds them that they suck, to shut up and have the match...  and thanks for paying his mortgage. This was all kind of fucking terrible, probably worse than Defcon/Masked Maniac. Rockshah wins, who fucking cares.  The TSWO turns on one of their members to further my apathy. If you want to have these dingleberries have a match, have them wrestle while the crowd is still coming into the building or during intermission. Or give them the main event so I can leave at 11pm. During this match, Jonboy assured me that after seeing this, I could become a wrestler if I wanted to. I assured him that this was exactly the reason I don't become a wrestler. I was in no mood to sit through this 2 to 2 ½ hours into a show.

Match 7: (Kid/Mike) Kruel w/ Bobcat vs. Little Guido - Submission match where the loser is out of USA Pro Wrestling for 90 days
This was perfectly fine pro-wrestling, but it was announced prior to the match that it was a submissions only match. The problem is, I don't think anyone told Guido, Kruel and Hanson of this fact. I dunno, I got annoyed that the guys were going for a lot of pin attempts and cradles and stuff and Hanson's going for the count as the fans are yelling "It's a submission match!" at them. I'm not sure who to pin that one on. I mean, I don't know if they just forgot about the stipulation when they set up the match or it was sprung on them at the last moment, but if you're going to do a stipulation match, you should honor it, especially when it was announced over the house mic. This was ok, but given the stipulation of it being submissions only, I felt there probably should have been more submission attempts or an effort to set them up. As a straight match it was fine, if it were a submission match, the segments with the pin attempts probably should have been converted into working over a body part or submission attempts. Towards the end, Night Life comes back to ringside with Drake.  The finish has Guido going for the Kiss of Death, Drake gets out of the wheel chair and super kicks him, then whips off the neck brace, sending parts into the crowd. Kruel puts on the cross arm breaker on a knocked out Guido and "taps" him by shaking his arm across his body to get the win. I would have preferred a screwjob finish where Drake slammed Guido in the arm or something that injured him causing to tap rather than this route, fine wrestling messed up by a weak finish and ignored stipulation.

We're then given an intermission to think about what we've just witnessed as Mary Kate ends up having to go into the crowd and reclaim the parts to the neckbrace some kids had picked up.

Match 8: The Rednecks from Hell vs. The Baptised (Ken Sweeney & Frankie Starz under different names)
The Rednecks are a decent team from what I've seen of them, even though I still don't know which one is which and what their full ring names are.  Rather than dubbing them #1 and #2, I'll now go with Redneck "James Hetfield" and Redneck "mini-Hugh Morrus." It looks like Balls Mahoney has gone into the full blown Kevin Sullivan in Florida as the Devil gimmick as Sweeney and Starz are now sporting face paint and new names. Mind you, a Sweeney by any other name would suck just as much. If anything, the gimmick has made Sweeney worse as both he and Starz do a bunch of undertaker style zombie sit up sells of stuff, so the Redneck's stuff looked good, it basically got no sold. It was a big batch of nothing for them, though it did seem like Starz got knocked goofy by one of the lariats they dished out.  The Rednecks also did a neat Spear/Knee clip combo. In the end, Balls Mahoney ran out, chaired everyone and threw I think Sweeney on top for the pin. Jeez, Balls' army is like Randall Flagg recruiting Trash Can Man and the kid that played Parker Lewis in the mini-series "The Stand". You'd think Satan would recruit better people... or at least improve them... or dump Sweeney and replace him with the Rednecks, I mean, they're already from Hell. Promote from within!

Match 9: Gaunlet Match
This was a match to challenge for the "relatively" popular Iceberg's NY State title. All the matches for the most part were quick, kind of like the high spurt tournament where the matches go about a minute or two and everything pretty much ends with someone hitting their finisher. First up are "So Fine" Vic Divine or Demine, I didn't catch the last name and Damien Dragon. This is ok stuff, Vic wins with a long vertical suplex that looked like there was a screw up and they just let it roll. I mean, it's odd because Vic isn't Ron Reis big and it's 2002, not 1902, so I don't necessarily thing a vertical suplex was the planned finish. Tim Arson is the next out and he does some stuff and eventually puts Vic away with a front facelock/choke type move and gets him to tap. Crazy Ivan is the next guy out, I'm pretty sure he gets in his usual stuff, the leg sweep kick, the zeig heil leg sweep, his somersault leg drop thing before taking out Arson out with his gas mask when Arson was trying to set up something. I think the most disturbo thing about this is I thought I saw a biker looking guy holding up a swastika bandana during the match. Prince Nana is out next and he makes relatively quick work of Ivan, I think hitting his avalanche/corner ass attack combo and then taking him out with the double arm brainbuster. (Chris) Divine is up next, he got in a bit more offense though it was sort of back and forth between them. Nana got the advantage and went for the Ghana-dor (as I like to call it), but Divine was able to counter it into a small package to get the pin. Quiet Storm was up next, he and Divine did some good looking stuff, Storm took out Divine with his Gory Lock neckbreaker for the win. Next was Ghost Shadow. Shadow v. Storm was actually one of the advertised matches for the show and I'm sort of pissed they ended up in the gauntlet match because it looked like their match would have kicked ass. They both did some really elaborate arm drags and armdrag counters. Shadow got in control and had a majority of the offense, really wasting Storm with a Lyger bomb and his M.U.S.C.L.E. Buster, but Storm had enough to kick out each time. Eventually, Storm caught Shadow in a small package and eliminated him from the match. Wayne the Convenience Store Guy runs in immedately and puts down Quiet Storm with a schoolboy, more or less because Ghost Shadow took everything out of him. Wayne wins the match and the shot at Iceberg.

Match 10: Wayne the Convenience Store Guy vs. Iceberg - USA Pro Wrestling NY Title
With the Iceberg extended family behind us, we get an ok match. Wayne is not sporting his super swank Gary Coleman t-shirt, so this isn't going to get match of the year votes. This match goes on and stuff happens. Wayne and Iceberg are better than the ticket sellers, but not that great, but it's an ok match. Iceberg is setting up for the finish when The Mime comes out and starts distracting the referee by doing his Mime act. While this is going, Wayne's usual running buddy The Trekkie runs in and hits Iceberg with the Spock Bottom. Eventually, Wayne hits Iceberg with the TKO/Hawaiian Crush for the win and the title. Thousand of Iceberg relatives have their night ruined.

Match 11: Homicide (w/ Boogalou) vs. Tony DeVito
Homicide comes out for the match sporting Shadow WX style face paint. DeVito is his "surprise" opponent. Yeah, this is much better than Ki/Homicide 2 out of 3 falls. DeVito looks like he's put on weight, then again, he was wearing a black wifebeater type top and normally he wears more clothes. This was ok, but not great. It's safe to say this is DeVito's best match in a while and not on the Best of Tape for Homicide. Homicide teases doing the Cop Killa at one point, but DeVito counters out of it. DeVito goes for a moonsault at one point but misses, as he's down on his knees, Homicide hits him with a Shining Wizard and gets the pin. It didn't look like he made great contact, but that could have been our angle, it seemed like Homicide's one knee slipped behind DeVito's head, but the front side could have been hit. He did have good speed on the move though.

Match 12: The Hit Squad (Monsta Mack & Mafia) vs. Low-Ki and eventually Xavier - USA Pro Wrestling Tag Team Titles
This starts out as a handicap match with Ki holding his own for a bit by avoiding the Hit Squad's double teaming. I think one spot had both of the Hit Squad on the floor, Ki went for the diving elbow, the front Squad member ducked and Ki hit the one behind him, though he landed with a resounding thud. I think keeping it one on one before they finally catch him and start beating him down. Xavier, in a new pair of tights, runs in and gets on the apron and now it's two on two. At one point, the Hit Squad are taken out to the floor, Xavier goes for his jump off the top rope arabian press to the floor dive, but the Squad catch him and pick him up, Ki ends up jumping off the top rope onto the pile to take everyone out. The Hit Squad controlled with a bunch of double teams, including doing the double overhead press (which I jokingly said "Throw him into the ceiling!" given the high roof).  They set up the Figure Four/Frog Splash which I think gets blocked. Monsta teases doing the Steiner Square Driver a few times, but it keeps getting countered. The end has the Natural Born Sinnerz running in and Hanson throwing the match out, which was weak. The Sinnerz and Squad try to double team Ki and Xavier, but keep screwing up and hitting each other, after two times of these, everyone loses their cool and now it's a 3 way with everyone fighting with each other. They brawl to the back, they end with Ki teasing the Ki Krusher on one of the Hit Squad on the stage/stairs, but getting pushed to the back. The spot got the same negative reaction it got on the ICW show too. I don't think anyone should take that spot, so I don't think it's a good idea to tease it, or if you do tease it, don't use it as the excuse to go to the back, do it as a spot in the match and then continue to fight.

Match 13: Crowbar w/ Serena vs. Chris Candido w/ Tammy
Chris was sporting his Terry Funk style tights, he didn't seem to have a tan and looked a bit heavier than the last time I saw him. I was just happy he wasn't wearing his New Japan tiny pants. This was OK, nothing really horrible, nothing really blown. Tammy and Serena had a few cat fight spots. Crowbar kicked out of Candido's top rope superplex. Candido kicked out of Crowbar's death valley driver. Candido tried to set up a tombstone onto a chair, but Crowbar slipped out and turned it into a reverse DDT onto the chair and got the pin. Post match, both guys hugged, then both valets hugged, then Crowbar and Candido got in on the girls hugging action.

Match 14: Balls Mahoney vs. Gangrel w/ Luna - USA Pro Wrestling Heavyweight title
Gangrel got a surprisingly huge pop coming out, then again, he had one of the better WWF themes/entrances. He does his goblet of Kool Aid spit take which actually hits the balcony by us, but we managed to stay dry. Balls explains that this match it's personal, it's business because it's for his title. He offers Gangrel to join him and Kevin Sullivan next month if they want. He also challenges to a match ECW style. I think the funniest part about the ECW challenge is that Balls did a fancy take down into a kneebar at one point prior to them going into the manditory chairshots and blading. Probably the funniest line of the night was Gangrel having Balls in an armbar, I think Hanson is the one who asks Balls if he quits. Balls yells at him "I said no, you fuck!" Gangrel then cranks on the armbar and Balls yells "OW! Maybe!" Jon was pointing out to me that Luna apparently was having a tough time keeping a straight face during the whole
match. Both guys bladed and wear bleeding a ton. Gangrel kicked out of the Nut Cracker suite twice, one regular and one running. The Freak, now in regular black tights instead of his usual skid mark pants comes out to try to help Balls, but I don't think he really helped lead to the finish. I think Balls did a superplex and as both guys were just laying on the canvas Jon told me it looked like they were having a 2 or 3 minute long conversation setting up their next spots in the match.  The end came when Balls took out Gangrel with a chair shot. Post match, Luna got in the ring and said she wanted a chair shot too, so Balls laid her out. Everyone seemed to get together so, I guess they maybe allied going forward. This was at the 4 ½ hour mark in the show and at this point, I was kind of happy the whole deal was over.

Overall... the show was really numbing. I mean, there's a lot of stuff to have to sit through. I like my shows to be about 3 hours long, after that, we're getting ridiculous. There's a lot of crap that if they were trimmed from the shows, would enhance the experience. We had even yet still more card changes. This was another "last show in the Elk's lodge", as it seems USA Pro and ICW are moving out of the building for the time being, with USA pro going to long island and ICW going to apparently less savory areas of Queens and I don't see me going out of my way to sit through long ass shows with a million line up changes to them. Oh well, I'm sure I'll be back at the Lodge at some point.