PP: Before heading out to Queens and the Elk's Lodge, I spend the afternoon bumping around midtown Manhattan. I kill time browsing the magazines at Book-Off, which is this really cool Japanese bookstore that sells old magazines and books... apparently Grady and I are the only two folks in the DVDVR community who actually know about it. It's also the place where I got Dean his copy of the Shinobu Kandori photobook. I love the fact that the good people of Japan are unafraid to devote huge glossy magazines to everything you can think of. BALLROOM DANCING, DADDY! While I'm there the kids from the Eltingville Club check in and start casing the joint, bellowing back and forth at each other about this Gundam art book and that Star Wars magazine and how Homestar Runner can function without any arms. I bail at that point after getting my sister a Mini Cooper devotees magazine. I hook up with Ray in Queens and listen to the intricacies of his contract negotiations with the bitches at Smith Barney. Ray is sooooooo there once Wu-Tang Financial starts taking resumes. We hit the Lodge... AH CRAP! Sugaa Boy from Allentown showed up! I have an entertaining conversation with someone who came down from Boston for the show to give KC Blade some pictures he took at a show last week:

Boston Guy: "Apparently the Trekkie missed the last show because he had VD, whatever that means."
Me: "What do *you* think that means?"
Boston Guy (exasperated): "I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!"

Hee hee hee. Boston Guy seems like a good egg and we rap for a bit before finally getting upstairs. I break out the new puro mags for Ray and the show gets rolling at 7:07.

RD: My trip to the city is less eventful as I show up in the city early and kill time playing the Nascar 2000 arcade game which has all the screen information in Japanese at the bowling alley at the Port Authority. Pete and I end up on the same train but in different cars and meet up at the station. And for the record, Smith Barney is a bunch of bitches. We ended up being a bunch of suckers as apparently they let the line in early to the building so they didn't have to stand out in the cold and it took us a while to figure that out. Standing inside will always beat standing outside. The show starts relatively on time, which is good because I needed to hurry up to sit for 5 1/2 hours.

MATCH 1: USAPW Gauntlet Title - JUSTIN CAGE vs. JAY STATIC vs. POPPA LICIOUS (w/Miss Sinful) vs. TIM ARSON vs. LIVE WYRE vs. REEFER vs. J-TRAIN (w/Slugga) vs. MIKE MERCEDES vs. DIXIE vs. GHOST SHADOW vs. BRIAN XL vs. CHRIS DEVINE vs. QUIET STORM (C)
PP: Let the carnage begin. By my count this went about 45 minutes from start to finish (I can't say "bell to bell" since they forgot the bell) and wasn't as good as the gauntlet match on the last show, although there was some neat stuff here. First part of the match is pretty unspectacular, highlighted by Justin Cage tricking some fan into giving him his "BRING BACK DANNY DEMANTO" sign so he can rip it up, and Live Wyre (who sorta looks like the love child of Brock Lesnar and one of the Briscoes) throwing some nice suplexes. Tim Arson dominates early, eliminating Licious and Wyre with the Ontario (Hawaiian) Smasher and old-school superplex respectively. The crowd wakes up as soon as Reefer comes in after the performance he put on at the last show, and he quickly takes out Arson. J-Train is next with Slugga (who's apparently working the Whisper gimmick from "Live and Let Die" as he stands in the corner like a golem for the whole match and doesn't do anything). I'll be damned if he doesn't look pretty good here, whipping out a nice dropkick to the floor on Reefer, who eventually reciprocates by dropping Train on the floor and hitting his splash off the entrance stairs. Reefer eventually eliminates Train after slamming him, placing a chair on his back and doing his ropewalk swanton for the pin. Mike Mercedes comes out and jumps Reefer to make it a 4-on-1 with Train and Slugga's help, but heel miscommunication leads to Reefer rolling up Mercedes for the pin to a huge pop. Dixie then hits the ring and immediately cashiers Reefer with the Dixie Driver for the second show in a row. Ghost Shadow ("BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The gimmick is over here too) comes out next and cashiers Dixie with the Mad Scientist Bomb, only to lose to Brian XL off a Misterio Rana. Devine is the final participant; no job to the ring apron this time. They go back and forth until XL wins the gauntlet portion after this tricked-out tilt-a-whirl sequence that ends up with Devine getting DDTed for the pin. Quiet Storm comes out at this point to defend his title, only for XL to win the title after reversing Storm's SCD into the MD-IIB.

RD: It was quite sad that they totally forgot the bell, but they did that at the Alpha show too. Cage went a long way to get that sign to rip it. I think Static and Cage almost killed each other on a rana spot where one or the other got powerbombed more than ranaing out of it. Poppalicous had some cool tights. Arson's OK and I think they played up the a little with Arson and Wyre as partners with Wyre throwing friendship right out the window. I read somewhere someone said that Reefer was a horrible spot monkey, but I've enjoyed the stuff I've seen with him thus far, though it is in guantlet matches which are hard to get the true feel on someone. One thing's for sure, he's not afraid to die! die! die! for your pleasure. The J-Train segement was probably the best J-Train segment I've seen. Mercedes started busting out dangerous moves and I think dropped Reefer right on his head with something that might have knocked him goofy. The Dixie/Shadow/Mikey guys seems to be the standard end of these guantlet matches, at least the last two. I think it would do them good to try to do a bit different with where the guys end up in these in the future. Though I'd also wish they'd keep the guantlet down to like 6 or 7 people rather than the 12 they had in this one. XL and Divine looked ok in this as I've seen them be horrible in the past. IN the title match, XL started getting sloppy though I think that might have been the fact he had been out there for a while. I liked Storm's ST-Rings of Saturn he did.

MATCH 2: MASKED MANIAC vs. TONY LO
PP: Shoot me. Again.

RD: I guess Maniac is a heel now. He'll always be a heel in my book. Stop wrestling. Please. Young Lo gets nothing but a beating.

PP: Knight Life come out for an interview segment and I take this opportunity to bolt across the street to the KFC for something to drink. I hear the Sicilian Pastoral music from "Godfather" over my shoulder as I run out and I flash back to the ECW Jihad singing that for Guido at an ECW show at the Lodge a few years back. That show had one of the hottest crowds ever as the Rangers were beating the top-seeded Devils in the NHL playoffs that night and they were giving score updates after every match, leading to huge "Let's Go Rangers" chants all night long. Just a tremendous show.

RD: Reil's idea of getting heat is calling everyone "Spics and dishwashers". Boy, he's a master of the heel work. It's bad enough he's going for the cheap heat, but they've already got Ivan and his group of clowns doing that gimmick. Anyway, they hand out flyers and milk cartons and claim they're looking for Becky but don't know where she is. The other thing of note is the fact that Lo spent the whole time selling his beating from Maniac and got beat up by Knight Life after all their mic work.

MATCH 3: WAYNE THE CONVENIENCE STORE GUY vs. MALICE
PP: It's AJPW superstar Gigantes! Wayne gets squashed into next week as Malice no-sells everything and nukes him with a chokeslam for the pin. The real tragedy of this match is that Wayne wasn't even supposed to be here today.

RD: Wayne tried to do the chokeslam. That was the only thing of note.

PP: Mike Kruel comes out at this point and demands that Knight Life return Becky to him. They drag her out in her pajamas and I can't help but notice that Kruel is remarkably unconcerned for her current state of being given that he was ready to propose to her at the last show. THE STRYKER! talks about "leaving the state of Hawaii on her back" and I realize that he's doing the frat-boy rapist gimmick Phil wanted him to do with Xavier and Ryan Wing awhile back. He tries to make Becky blow the microphone, only to take it back and gleefully announce "They pay me to do this!" in the "this is all part of the script, folks" moment of the night. Basically, the angle is that Becky is a) underage, and b) pregnant. Cuuuuuuuute. Knight Life then attack Kruel only for "Stayin' Alive" to hit over the PA... and Nunzio makes the save for Kruel to a BERSERKO pop. Nobody saw this coming and it's a great surprise. This sets up Nunzio in Kruel's corner for his match with Reil later in the show.

RD: I really think they told Mike he had to go out there to get this angle over and he even apologized to everyone when he came out saying he didn't want to make the night go on any longer by him calling out Knight Life. The angle is absolute poo. Stryker is good on the mic, but the content is pretty crappy. I like him better as a hammy baby face or an evil taliban better than this. Nunzio gets a huge "Guido" chant when he came out.

MATCH 4: LOWLIFE LOUIE RAMOS vs. JC THE DAMAJA
PP: Louie comes out with a board with "LOUIE" spelled out in flourescent light bulbs. It's easily the coolest part of this segment as the match itself is the usual assortment of weapon shots and blood spurts. Louie wins after giving JC a DVD through the LOUIE board, which was thankfully set up on the floor as opposed to in-ring.

RD: This was your standard "fat guys who aren't afraid to blade and land on things" match. Louie's board was pretty cool. One of the spots of the match was Louie digging into his pants, pulling out a condom and stapling to JC's head. I will give them credit to keeping most of the gimmicks out on the floor so they didn't have to clear up ring, though doing a glass bump on the floor, by the rails, not the greatest idea if you don't want a law suit.

MATCH 5: CHRISTOPHER STREET CONNECTION vs. THE STRYKER!/SIMON DIAMOND
PP: I love the CSC just because they're walking, talking proof that it's possible to get stereotypical "gay" wrestlers over as babyfaces in the '03. Buff E gets on the mic and... makes aspersions towards Stryker about his sexual proclivities. This leads Stryker to bring out a less-than-thrilled Simon Diamond as his tag partner for the match. Buff "works over" Simon early, leading him to bail out and scream "SIMON HAS A PROBLEM!" into the mic to a big pop. Knight Life dominate the middle portion and we try to start a "Let's Go Homos" chant, leading to this truly priceless look from Simon as he stands on the apron. CSC take over near the end and we get a dueling "69" spot as Stryker and Simon hit the mat and Buff/Mace assume the position. They go for the Teabagger Vance on Simon when the Boogie Knights come out and Tobin pushes Mace off the top into a Simon superkick for the pin.

RD: The CSC have further upgraded their ring entrance by throwing out the pop conffetti bottles to people in the crowd as part of their ring intro. The highlight of the CSC is always their schitck and this was fun as Simon and Stryker did a good job of playing right into it. At one point, Stryker faked out Mace like he was actually considering kissing him before he punched him. Simon's sell and reaction to Buff E trying to use natural lube on him was pretty funny too. The finish looked good with Simon timing the super kick pretty good and hitting him square in the stomach.

MATCH 6: XAVIER (w/Alison Danger) vs. CW ANDERSON
PP: Oboyoboyoboy. This is all sorts of fun as CW (working babyface) and X take it to the mat. All sorts of neato matwork here. I can't remember it all but suffice to say you want the tape of this. I think this is the match where CW goes for a suplex on X who counters it by kneeing CW in the head in one of my all-time favorite counter spots. X goes over via X-Breaker after Chris Devine and Trinity (from NWA-TNA) come out to distract CW.

RD: This was a lot of fun because they did a lot of counters to each other in this. Pete mentioned the knee to the head counter to the suplex which was good, but they took it to the mat and did a lot of switches and counters out of armbars. CW looked on and was hitting stuff great. He hit two murderous lariats during the match. Lots of fun, very solid. There might have been one iffy spot on an enzugiri, but that's about it. Everything else was perfectly fine. I would say this was probably match of the night.

MATCH 7: KRAZY IVAN (w/Bad Boy Kracka, Southern Supremice & Adolph) vs. KONNAN
PP: Before this match starts, Steven DeAngelis (the normal USAPW ring announcer) comes out and talks about how he hasn't announced any matches tonight so far due to an angle back in November (I assume the one involving Ivan, his proteges and Prince Nana). Without using the dreaded "S" word, he asks us to decide if he's telling the truth or not and proceeds to run down the guilty parties, wrapping up by announcing that he refuses to announce Ivan's name and recommends to the other announcer that he does the same. The announcer complies, and knowing how pro wrestling works these days I immediately assume that this is going to lead to DeAngelis turning on Konnan at the end and joining up with Ivan. Thankfully, this doesn't happen so I'm guessing this was all legit on Steve's end. Regarding the match, Konnan is ungodly over with the folks in attendance... good thing he was, because I think I have better cardio than he does at this point. Konnan goes over with the X-Factor, after which Ivan lays out his disciples with chairshots and disbands the World Church of the Creator's Elmhurst branch.

RD: Konnan's mic work is over, it's really a shame it totally blows him up. He hits a few of spots, then as Pete puts it, he turns into Dusty where he lies on the mat and has someone up a hold on him. I was deeply disappointed he didn't take his sneaker off and throw it at one of the new Klan like he did in one of the god awful matches where he tagged with Carly Colon against Thunder & Lightning.

PP: At this point Da Hit Squad come out, followed in short order by Balls Mahoney, theoretically out to announce the members of The Baptized who will be challenging them. Balls instead announces that there's a new member of the group, at which point Mafia lays out Monsta from behind. Yeah, I can see where this makes sen- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!

RD: I'm sure if I had the public access show, this angle would make more sense. However, this had more the feel of "We have no idea what to do with the Hit Squad anymore, so we'll break them up".

MATCH 8: MONSTA MACK vs. MAFIA
PP: Mafia dominates most of this, getting tons of heat from the crowd once they get over the shock of the turn. Monsta cuts him off near the end and does one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in wrestling, tying Mafia in the Tree of Woe, placing a chair on his head, going to the side turnbuckle and hitting a motherfucking VAN TERMINATOR all the way across the ring! It's one thing when Shane McMahon exposes RVD's big move by hitting it successfully, but it's something different ENTIRELY when you've got 300-pounders doing the same thing. (Phil S) "Fuck you white Ruckus" (/Phil S) Somewhere in this Balls crushes Monsta with a chairshot and Mafia gets the pin, then tears off his DHS shirt and leaves with Balls. Where they're going with this is anyone's guess.

RD: This was actually a match I would have liked to have seen, though the total confusion on the turn didn't help the feel of the match. I think they did a pretty good job of making Mafia look strong in this. He did a tree of woe spot where he had Monsta tied up and was doing body attacks on him that were pretty brutal. Monsta got his revenge with the Van Monstanator which was more of just off the top rope rather than a springboard, but given his size it was pretty impressive. The match itself wasn't bad, but there was the whole "What the fuck?"ness of it that I think hurt the heat.

MATCH 9: 4 Corners Tag-Team Gauntlet: BOOGIE KNIGHTS vs. PERFECTION PERSONIFIED vs. DARKKNIGHTS (w/Mr. Big & unidentified moll) vs. THE TREKKIE/JOSH DEELY vs. ICEBERG/THE PLAGUE (w/Miss Sinful) vs. G-MONEY/LATIN STALLION vs. ELM STREET KIDS vs. TEAM TARGET vs. ALL MONEY IS LEGAL vs. WRECKA/"BISON" JOHNNY BRAVADO vs. REDNECKS FROM HELL (w/Midnight Rider) vs. THE SOLUTION (w/Michelle)
PP: Man alive. You might as well get the tape for this match since video replay will be the only way to sort this all out as this is just total chaos. Mike Tobin is a riot in this at the beginning as someone in the crowd hands him an old-school Randy Savage shirt ("MACHO MAN") and he suddenly whips out the Savage offense and mannerisms (axehandle to the floor, rope-snap neckbreaker to the floor, top-rope elbow, etc). We also get a dueling Vulcan Nerve Pinch between the Trekkie and Danny Drake. Perfection Personified (one of whom may have been Dan Barry, AKA "gay Tiger Mask") look good with all sorts of flashy spots including a Shooting Star Press to the floor before getting eliminated by the DarkKnights (apparently accompanied by the "Godfather's Pizza" mascot). Iceberg and Plague are in next while Tobin eliminates the DarkKnights with the aforementioned elbow off the top. Stallion and G-Money I guess are students and just there to look pretty. Deely gets tagged in and is quickly exposed as the worst worker in the match, blowing just about everything he tries. At one point Plague hits a somersault legdrop and goes for the pin; Deely kicks out at 2, but either he wasn't supposed to kick out or Hanson (who reffed every match and was really burned-out at this point) just said "Fuck it" and counts Deely out anyway. Then it becomes The Doghouse Show as the rest of the teams except one are Doghouse boys. Elm Street Kids hit the ring from the crowd; they have a cool look with striped outfits and this facepaint that's part Juggalo, part Dead Presidents. Plague gets pinned to eliminate himself and Iceberg, and Bad Boy Kracka/Southern Supremice (the non-Doghouse team) are next. Elm Street Kids get eliminated and the folks on our immediate left go nuclear as Team Target come out, mugging away for their family while trying to concentrate on the match. Stallion/Money get pinned and now my ears are fit to explode as All Money Is Legal come out next. Somewhere in all of this, Iceberg turns on Plague and the Christoper Street Connection come out and chase the BKs to the back. Kracka/Supremice get eliminated and Wrecka/Bravado hit the ring. Wrecka looks really good here, hitting some nasty looking suplexes. Team Target get put out and Dean Rasmussen^H^H^H^H^Midnight Rider leads out the Rednecks from Hell. Now you've got an all-DPW match and it's been firmly established that we're in the Doghouse family section. Wrecka eliminates A.M.I.L. by giving both guys an overhead belly-to-belly-to-belly suplex at the same time. Yowza. The Solution (w/Michelle! HOTCHA!) are the last team out; somewhere in this the BKs also sneak back in so they haven't been eliminated yet. Solution take over as they hit the Buff Blockbuster/Liger Bomb combo on Bravado to eliminate that team, then Havoc spears one of the Rednecks for a pin to eliminate them. Immediately following that, Drake slithers in and rolls up Havoc for the pin to win the match and the #1 Contendership for the USAPW tag titles. *whew* This was quite the spectacle and hopefully it'll all make sense once the video comes out. I'd like to have seen more of the DPW boys as most of them got eliminated way too quickly for my tastes.

RD: It should be noted that Trekkie has cut off all his hair, so I guess that means he got a real job. He also had a tribble with him. And he used the Vulcan Nerve Pinch which gets point from me because if you're going to do a goofy ass gimmick, go the whole 9 yards. One thing that I liked was that The Darknights and Perfection Personified both had shirts with their names on the back, which is always good for faceless rookie indy guys. Well, it's good for me as I can at least put something on board for them rather than "Ticket seller". Anyway, Perfection and the Darknights worked a majority of the first fall and they did a lot of complex and fancy new moves, which leads me to believe they're probably classmates and they've done a lot of these things before. They pull off some nice complicated stuff, but the strikes were indy rookie level with more than a few air balls on some kicks. Anyway, Jav (one of the Darknights) took out Sarek (one of Perfection Personified) with a rock bottom out of a fireman's carry. I can't really be upset with Hanson for quick counting on Deely because he really didn't need to be out there any longer. G-Money looked ok, but it's tough to tell with everything that was going on. When Plague and Iceberg were eliminated, Iceberg beat him up to my apathy. It was kind of fun to be in the "players family" section as for the Doghouse boys that didn't have names on their outfits, it made it easier for my to identify who was on what team. Wrecka threw some nice suplex and his double belly to both guys was pretty impressive. It's nice to get people on a show, but I really think giving these guys something that's a little not so difficult to keep track of will help them in the long run. You know, those afternoon and evening shows are sounding like a better idea.

MATCH 10: SHOOTER MIKE KRUEL (w/Becky Bayless & Nunzio) vs. BILLY REIL (w/Stryker & Simply Luscious)
PP: This was originally billed (and announced in-ring) as a "Destruction Match" where the rules were that the ref wasn't going to enter the ring until the 20-minute point, but thankfully they ditched that stip and it was a straight match. Reil comes out and decides that he didn't get enough heat with the Becky angle earlier, so he grabs the mic and smugly announces "I hate spics!" Still not getting enough of a reaction, he goads the crowd into throwing things at him (the crowd was tossing balled-up fliers from three different promotions into the ring all night long) and I swear Hanson gets this look on his face like he wants to rip Reil's throat out. By now it's almost 11pm and there's still FOUR MATCHES left, so I kill time reading the markazine I bought from Jac Sabboth's booth profiling the various promotions (they covered something like 150 of them, neat). Kruel eventually taps Reil to an armbar after Nunzio takes out Stryker with the Kiss of Death and Becky KICKWHAMSTUNNERS Reil. Postmatch Nunzio takes a bow and Reil sportingly congratulates him on the WWE gig as it appears Frank booked this to give him a more proper sendoff for NYC. Simon Diamond (w/Yankees #44 jersey - Simon is the man) then comes out and teases a handshake with Nunzio, only to try and attack him. Nunzio blocks it and lays Simon out with another Kiss of Death.

RD: I can't blame Hanson for making me not have to sit through 20 minutes of Billy Reil, however, if they're making changes on the fly, please don't announce what the rules to a match if you are changing it. I'm aware "Card Subject to Change" is always in effect, but rules are not supposed to change after the announcer tells everyone what the rules are. It's obvious someone ok'ed cutting the time limit on this, just let everyone know that so you don't look stupid. Oh yeah, Luscious was wearing a "I heart Nerds" t-shirt and looked like she beat up Judas Young for his plad pants.

MATCH 11: AMAZING RED vs. DERANGED
PP: We were looking forward to this just to see how much Red's improved now that he's had the AJPW experience under his belt, and he did NOT disappoint. While still the Man of a Thousand Spots, he's gotten exponentially smarter in-ring and isn't working his matches like he doesn't want to live to see his next birthday. Even more impressive is that Deranged is able to hang with him on the mat and elsewhere. There's only one really contrived spot as Deranged tosses Red out of the ring and Hanson inexplicably gets down on all fours so Deranged can use him to springboard onto Red on the floor. Later on Red give him this awesome-looking top-rope brainbuster where he must've held Deranged in the air for at least 20 seconds. Finish comes down to Red seemingly trying to do Deranged's own hi-speed sunset flip move, only for Dixie to come to ringside and hit a chair shot on Red while he's tied up in the ropes. Deranged then hits Red with the EZ Money piledriver thingy (Money in The Bank?) for the upset pin. Really great match and I apologize for not doing it justice here. GET THE TAPE.

RD: This was really good and I sort of got distracted when Pete said "How many people were on the card so far" and I sort of got distracted in the middle part of this as we were trying to do the actually count and we were both getting pretty disgusted when we got into the 60's-70's range at this point. Reguardless, Deranged impressed me as much as Red did as in the past, he would tend to go do something really stupid (usually involving a chair or something) in his matches which would be really complex or take forever to set up. In recent months, he's been toning it down and he's turning into a good rudo and has a whole his performance seems to be picking up too. At one point there were dueling "Red" and "Blue" chants for this. Red seemed to be wanting to do the mutual respect bit with Deranged being subtle to not so subtle to full blown heel later in the evening. It was good. The top rope brainbuster was great as were the opening exchanges with both guys hitting armdrags and take downs on each other.

MATCH 12: Ladder match, USAPW Tag-Team Titles: DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELZ vs. SPANISH ANNOUNCE TEAM (C)
PP: This match features the world's scariest ladder as it requires two guys to hold it steady for the third person when he sets up the belts (on a cable tied between the two balcony railings as opposed to hanging from the ceiling). Whoever brought THAT ladder to this show should be shot. This match is just a huge brawl with an amazing amount of heat considering that the show's almost five hours long at this point. The crowd's divided about 60/40 in favor of the Maximos, most of the DRS cheering coming from our section in the balcony. Thankfully they don't do any ladder spots for awhile, content to dispense with the weaponry and just beat the crap out of each other the old-fashioned way. Once the ladder finally comes into play the match gets less enjoyable as we're really fearing for their lives everytime they try to do something with it. At one point someone takes a bump into the ladder and actually bends it; by now we're just hoping they make it through the match without permanently getting maimed. Hanson does do the good thing of balancing the ladder whenever someone tries to go for the belts. Finish comes down to Dixie and Deranged running in and attacking the Maximos. Konnan moseys in next and everyone figures that he's out to even things up for the Maximos, but instead he stands idly by while Blade scales the ladder and grabs the belts for the title switch. Joe L gets on the mic and does the "Why Konnan why?" gimmick to Konnan, who says that the wrestling business isn't about friendship, it's about money. He gave the Maximos advice for free in TNA, but DRS paid him money TO help them out. Maximos get jumped here and it's 5-on-2 until Red comes out and runs them all off. I'm thinking Frank really needs to book a show as school vs. school with Doghouse vs. the USAPW/Mikey trainees. Think of the heat that would get, especially if they did the AJW/LLPW gimmick and assigned both sides' fans to opposite sides of the Lodge.

RD: My enjoyment of the match was hampered by the fear that someone was going to seriously get hurt in this. Really, who the fuck picked up this ladder? And why didn't think have a back up? Oh wait, they didn't even have a ring bell.... I think everyone did the smart thing by not going for too many spots on the ladder which seems to be the trends in ladder matches as if they broke this, the match was going to end up as a draw. Unless they did what I suggested which was to use the ladder to knock down the belt rather than climbing that rickety ass thing. Props once again to Hanson for holding that sucker so nobody died. You can go through the suspension of disbelieve part of it, but I'd rather see everyone be safe. Again, the heat was good. It was funny watching Negro getting beat up on the floor and then looking up at his family section and yelling "HELP ME!" as one of the Maximos was beating on him. I think I also am now getting on the "Jose is better than Joe L" train as the reverse used to be very true in the past, but Jose seems to be hitting more and cleaner than Joe L now and that was pretty apparent tonight. The Red save was more of the Maximos beating on Deranged and Dixie as Konnan and the DRS had already taken a powder as Deranged & Dixie continued to beat on them. They hit some combo move on one of them before they took off.

MATCH 13: Three Falls, Three Titles, Three Stipulations: HOMICIDE (USAPW U.S. champ, USAPW X-Treme champ) vs. BALLS MAHONEY (USAPW World champ)
PP: I call Cel to give him the update I promised: "The show's gone 5 hours and there's still two matches left!" They run three straight falls here with a different stip/title in each fall. First fall is a Dog Collar match with Homicide's U.S. title on the line. I was hoping that they would work this like they worked the Homicide/Corino match (straight wrestling during the U.S. title match, brawling/garbage during the X-Treme title match), but they go right to the brawling here. Homicide whips out a fork at one point and juices Balls' arm with it. Balls drops Homicide and wraps the chain around the turnbuckles, then whips Homicide into it; he charges, but Homicide moves and Balls goes head-first into the chain. Homicide then takes the chain and chokes out Balls to retain the USA title. Second fall is a Tables match with Homicide's X-Treme title up for grabs. Both guys get put through a table each until Balls sets Homicide on a table and tries to go off the top; Homicide blocks him and hits a Koji Cutter off the top through the table to pin him and retain the X-Treme title. Third and final fall is a Last Man Standing match for Balls' World title. Homicide goes for pins early and gets pissed off when Hanson tries to explain that pinfalls don't count. Meanwhile Mafia strolls out to cheerlead for Balls; his facials are hysterical as he sells the abuse Balls and Homicide are dishing out to each other. This degenerates into a chairfight as each guy plays a few bars of the Anvil Chorus on the other's head. Homicide eventually tosses Balls outside, sets him up on a table and heads up top, but Mafia cuts him off long enough for Balls to recover and hit the Nutcracker Suite through the table to the floor to KO Homicide and retain the World title. Homicide gets tossed back inside and they tease more damage to him until Monsta hits the ring and runs them off. This was good, but I'd still like to see them work a straight match now that Balls is on this hot streak.

RD: God, the whole evening was taking its toll at this point. The dog collar match was pretty good. Balls bled a ton. Homicide did some good stuff with the chain. They ended up nailing Hanson with the chain early when they were fighting over it, there was some slack in it and Homicide made the rope jump and nail Hanson and then pointed and laughed at him. Homicide worked over Balls' arm with the fork and at one point wrapped the chain around is bicep/cut and then started pulling the chain across the cut to make it worse which was neat. The choke out finish worked as Homicide made it look hurty as all hell. The tables match was pretty good. Homicide did his crazy dive into Balls onto a table propped up on the railings that was pretty crazy. Mafia interfering closed the look on the angle and turn and I would think we'd be seeing some combination of Homicide/Monsta v. Balls/Mafia at some point. I still want to see Balls and Homicide just take it to the mat.

MATCH 14: RAVEN (w/Trinity) vs. THE SANDMAN
PP: By now KC Blade is up in our section after changing into his street clothes and we do the "Hey Champ!" cheer for him. Shame it isn't warm out yet, because if it was I would soooooooo shoot a promo of him and Negro with the belts in full gimmick down in the subway. Unbelievably, the crowd still has it in them to give both Raven and Sandman a huge reaction when they come out even though it's almost 12:30 in the morning. One of the little kids that came with the A.M.I.L./Team Target family has been trying to fall asleep with his coat over his head, poor l'il guy. Sandman makes his usual lap around the ring and is funny as he looks for folks to pour beer into their mouths and politely waves off a little boy who wants his medicine. An older man actually refuses beer from Sander and gets the big-time blowoff for his efforts. Raven gets pissed off at the tables around ringside: "Someone might get hurt!" Match starts off with a couple of takedowns and Ray and I start a "Holy Shit!" chant for the matwork. As you might imagine, this doesn't last and Sandman brings out the ladder before too long. A table also gets involved as does Trinity, which doesn't appear to faze Sandman as he grabs her and gives her a spanking. "Daddy's girl's been a bad girl..." Sandman sets Raven on the table and goes up for what I thought was going to be his old "Bitchin' Legdrop" finisher, but he goes for a flip dive instead. It's all a moot point as Raven moves, Sandman goes through the table and Raven covers him for the pin. We bail at that point although apparently we missed Sandman doing wrestling spots with someone's kid.

RD: Raven did a good job of playing to the crowd, between playing chickenshit heel "Someone might get hurt!" and threatening to take it to the mat to piss off people. Also combating the "You got fired!" chants with "NO! I QUIT!" I think they did a good job of working the crowd, but I've seen this match about 80 billion times from '96-'98 when both guys were healthier. Well, that's not exactly true because Sandman blew out his knee and Raven had the gout during that time frame too. Ok, I saw some matches when they were healthier. They did get the crowd into it and I guess everyone got what they wanted, well, except for Sandman landing really ugly on the Sandton bomb more knocking over the table than breaking it.

PP: By my count there were 81 different wrestlers, managers, valets and other assorted seconds on this show, and I'm convinced Frank booked this as a giant "Fuck You" to me after my last report. That said, there was alot of good stuff here and the video of this is a must just for Red/Deranged and Xavier/CW. At the subway Ray sees my "No Blood for Oil" pin and suggests that I put it away to avoid political arguments with drunken jackasses at 1 in the morning. I compromise and put it on a part of my bag where it's harder to see, while joking about how someone's going to get pissed off at my old LSH pin instead. And wouldn't you know it, we wind up sharing the subway into Manhattan with a rummy who wants to know what the pin means, then gets confused by my use of the word "comic." "What, yoush a shtand-up comedian?"

RD: For the record, I had 83 people, though I was counting the two ring announcers and Hanson. Christ, I hope Hanson gets paid by the hour/match because if anyone deserves props, it's him for having to do all those fucking matches, plus take a few bumps, do clean up after garbage spots and half to put up with the 8 million paperballs that the ring got pelted with. Oh by the way, Atlas security was supposed to throw people out for throwing stuff at the ring and once again, I don't think they did anything. For all you people who think a 5 1/2 hour show is great, you've never had to sit through one. I think they've got a lot of promising guys and guys who put a great effort, but it's tough when you've got a crowd that's half asleep or burned out by the time you get out there. They really have to cut back on the ammount of people they put on the shows or at least do 2 shows instead of one. Hell, do two shows and give people a discount on the second one if they attend the first. I saw Pete getting harassed a mile away. And 1am on a subway in Queens with a drunk guy is no place to be talking international policies.