RD : Pete and I meet up at his house and head over to Queens to catch the USA Pro show. Originally, this show I think was supposed to have Low Ki v. Eddy on it, but it seems like all future versions of this match are doomed to failure as at least 3 shows have been rumored to have the rematch and the shows have either been cancelled or the matches were changed.

PP: "It wuz the curse of Eddy/Low-Ki what did it!" Pre-show we get the national anthem, after which Steven DeAngelis (our ring announcer for tonight- I guess he's the indy scum ring announcer for NYC now) says we showed more respect for the anthem than the MSG crowds did both nights that week.

RD : The show opens up with a promo by Night Life, which is the heel stable of the Boogie Knights, Kid Kruel, Bobcat and Stryker. The Knights try to cut a promo but get the 'what?' treatment the kids are so in love with today.

The finally get to explain that Stryker isn't here tonight because he was suspended and has had his NY Title stripped for some reason, but they announce that he made it anyway as pull out a cardboard cut out of him (which was surprisingly a good looking cut out). They had some funny interactions as Tobin would be doing mic work as someone would be mugging with the cutout, putting the belt on him, etc. During the promo, the introduced a new member to the group, Chris Chetti. During the promo, the Hit Squad come out and explain that they were the reason Tobin or Drake had the bandages, which were described as being a tampon, on his face. They explain the injury and say most people would just quit or at least be smart enough to not show up
at the building. They end up with the punch like of the one having a tampon on his face because he's a pussy. The Hit Squad hit the ring and we have a mini fight with Little Guido also running in and attacking Kruel and Simon Diamond running in to attack Chetti.

PP: The interaction with "Stryker" was hysterical. Someone in USAPW must work at a photo store because a life-size photo blowup/cutout/mounting job could not have been cheap to purchase by indy standards. Xavier came out with DHS and teased that he was going to help them out, only to beg off because his USA "World" title defense was more important. I love the how DHS are about to go into a fight down 2-4 and simply shrug off this bit of news. DHS/BKs eventually brawl to the back, at which point I figure they were hauling ass for Bayonne since there had been a JAPW show scheduled for 1/11 at one point, but I guess that show got cancelled since no mention was made of it ever taking place.

Match 1 : SIMON DIAMOND w/ the rainmaker? vs. CHRIS CHETTI w/ Bobcat for the ACW title.
RD : This was sort there. Nothing spectacular but nothing was really blown. Rainmaker, if that is his name, is sort of doughy guy in a business suit that I guess is the promoter or figure head for acw. This builds to Night Life running interference and Chetti hitting Simon with the acw title, but getting caught by the world's most immobile ref Billy Caputo. Two other ACW guys run in for the save. I think someone else posted they were Stormin' Mike Norman and Timmy somebody.

PP: Rainmaker is quite the northeastern Kenny Bolin, although he didn't get any mic time so thankfully we didn't have to worry about missing the last train back to Manhattan. This was right in the middle of all wrestling matches.

RD : Up next they have the Masked Maniac come out to announce the participants for the next match. He calls them all losers and I think the gimmick was that the winner of the match didn't have to sell tickets at the next show. I will point out that maniac destroys kayfabe as he walks around in the crowd between matches in his ring gear minus his Masked Superstar mask.

Match 2 : 9 Way match including : Mr Conspiracy Franky Stars, Jimmy Hustler, Danny Demanto, Too Cocky Kevin Matthews, Bulldozer, the former Psycho Sam Dudley, and some other guys :
RD : Boy, this wasn't good. I really wonder what kind of training some of the guys in the match had. Stars, Demanto, Hustler and Matthews looked ok in this. In the end, Hustler won.

PP: FWIW, Mike Johnson mentioned that USA fans are supposed to be in on how Frank Goodman (USA promoter) doubles as Maniac. Not that this makes it look any less goofy to those of us who have never seen a USAPW show before. This match is nine hours long and may have been the most indy match ever. Ray brings up the point that Hustler, Matthews and Demanto opened the ICW show we went to in November... now they're actually expected to direct traffic in this cluster. One of the guys looked like the lovechild of Kane and one of the Briscoe brothers as he comes out in a singlet, giant hair mask and two-inch lifts. At one point in the match the wig flips in front of his face so he's got this Hassidic Jew vibe going for him. I think that's a gimmick that needs to be looked into. Later on as one of the guys gets eliminated, DeAngelis gets on the mic to announce the elimination and add, ominously: "The match continues." Bastard. The guy named Bulldozer looked like Crusher Blackwell without the talent.

MATCH 3 : 4 Corner, 6 person, Elimination Tag match for the vacant NY Title : PRINCE NANA vs. DAMIAN DRAGON vs. TIM ARSON vs. DEVINE vs. CONVIENCE STORE GUY vs. ICEBERG :
RD : Ecstacy, not the ICW one, comes out with the belt and a miniskirt that rides up on her every step she makes. Nana is hilarious prematch with some of his reactions to some of the people in the crowd. Iceberg got the most heat of anyone in the building as he probably had 30 members of his family and friends in the crowd cheering for him, including one who asked in line if the matches were predetermined here. So of course, he was the first person out of the match as Tim Arson hits him with the TKO/Hawaiian Smasher and Covience Store Guy tags in and gets the quick pin. CSG, resplendent in his Gary Coleman shirt, is the next to go as Nana chops the shit out of him for a bit and eventually puts him away with his double arm brainbuster move which is evil as all hell. Arson was the next to go as Devine took him out when Arson tried to hit a tiltawhirl on Devine and he flipped out and hit a russian leg sweep. Dragon eliminated devine with his feet on the ropes in the corner bringing it down to he and Nana. Nana seemed to be in control when Ecstacy pulled out a bag of powder (though it may have been a bag of blow) and hit nana and herself with it, allowing Dragon to hit the Marufuji finish on Nana to win the title. Post match, Dragon does the heel promo that
it is his year and kiss Ecstacy (forcing her skirt to ride up again). I suggest to Pete that Dragon should snort the powder off of her.

PP: We have found the third member of our fantasy stable of "The Mug Shots" as Nana gets to hook up with William Regal and Mr. Mexico... in particular, his reactions to the fat kid in sweatpants sitting behind us in the balcony needed to be seen live to be appreciated. At this point I was kicking myself for leaving the Ghana flag at home. We were sort of laughing at the people in line with us who said there were going to be "150 people" there cheering for Iceberg, so you can imagine our surprise when he did indeed
have a ton of people chanting for him through the early stages of the show. DeAngelis picks up on this as he gives Iceberg the big "You wanted him, you got him!" announcement. I joked with Ray to the effect of "watch him be the first guy out of the match..." little did we know that this would be the case as the Convenience Store Guy tags Arson's back after Arson hits the Ontario Smasher and steals the pin. NUCLEAR heat on CSG as you might expect, which in turn makes Nana a de facto babyface as he quickly nukes CSG with that double-arm overhead brainbuster which I will come up with a catchy name for sooner or later.

RD : My pick is the Ghana-dor.

PP : Dragon eventually gets the win and rehashes his promo from the last ICW show. This was fun while it lasted, although Devine didn't get nearly enough ring time for my tastes.

Match 4 : HOMICIDE vs. LOW KI :
RD : This was a good match, although I have seen some better matches between the two on tape. This was evil in some parts as Homicide was working on Low Ki's leg with a toe hold that had Ki's legs bent in all sorts of wrong directions and has really laying in with the the cross face when he put on the STF. Homicide sets up for his dive to the floor but Ki meets him with a kick to the face to stop it. Ki goes for an elbow suicida, but gets caught in the ropes and is really pissed when he gets up. He lays in some nasty shots and then hits the move, but takes a hard landing afterward. They do some mat spots including Ki challenging Homicide ala the Gracies from the ground. My gripe with the match is that at the end it turned into the both guys hitting their big moves, the cop killer and Ki krusher, but not being able to get the pin after the and after hitting some more stuff after them. I mean, the cop killer looks like and should be a death move, so I'm hoping these guys don't get into the goofy all japan million head drop moves mode in future matches. Ki gets the win when the Dragon Clutch wasn't enough to get homicide so he modifies it into an STF version of the clutch. Good match, especially in the mat segments.

PP: The finishing sequence really took away from the match as Homicide just drilled for oil with Ki's head on the Cop Killer, yet he stalled and allowed Ki to kill his finisher by kicking out. Homicide should not allow people to kick out of his finisher... it's like kicking out of a pin after getting fouled in Mexico (which I wouldn't mention if Negro Casas hadn't done it on TV a couple of weeks ago). Ki also needs to rein in his temper, as he almost killed himself on the suicida spot the second time he tried it by pulling a Black Warrior and just ROCKETING into Homicide. Other than that, this was really great and tight with lots of cool matwork. Homicide should be making the rounds nationally like Ki does if there's any justice.

Match 5 : MASKED MANIAC vs. KEN SWEENEY :
RD : This match certainly had a chance to beat the match before it, a snowballs chance, but a chance none the less. I saw the opening maniac chairshot and decided to take a bathroom break. When I got back, Maniac is unbuckling some security guys pants as he's beating him up. It was disturbingly close to looking like he was trying to give him a hand job at ringside before pulling down his pants and exposing his ass to the crowd. So very, very wrong. Sweeney : not good. Maniac : sexual assaulter. At some point, Balls Mahoney runs in and trips sweeney costing him the match. Balls threatens to cut Sweeney's mullet, but Sweeney hits him and cuts a tiny bit of Balls' hair. Balls gets pissed, beats on Sweeney and cuts him with the scissors. He threatens to hit the top rope nut cracker suite, but Sweeney's wife runs in and begs Balls to stop, so she takes a regular nut cracker suite instead. In a bit of coldness, the announcers in the balcony ask Sweeney's son and daughter about what they just saw, but I think the kid was probably more interested in getting a game boy or something.

PP: The spot with Maniac violating the security guy was so so so so so wrong, especially from our vantage point in the balcony as we got to see way too much of the victim's nether regions. Maniac is a disgrace to the Superstar mask.

Match 6 : KID KRUEL W/ BOBCAT vs. LITTLE GUIDO MARITATO W/ XSTACEE for the US Title :
RD : This was fine wrestling, but I was kind of hoping it was going to be a bit more matastic than it was. Both guys work a bit of submissions, they tease a cat fight between the managers which some security guy keeps getting to get in the middle of. Eventually, Guido hits the kiss of death (tomikazi) to retain the title.

PP: This was OK, although I could've dealt with less valet involvement. It's really cool seeing Guido work babyface...I assume he only does that in USAPW? And I'm now convinced that there are actually three Ecstasy-like valets working the Tri-State area, as I'm not sure that this Xtacee is the same one that works for ICW. Confusing.

Match 7 : ACW Tag title match : Elimination Match : THE SOLUTION W/VALENTINA V. THE REDNECKS FROM HELL vs. NORMAN/MCKINNY? W/ RAINMAKER? :
RD : This started out with The Solution and Rednecks. The Rednecks have some ok stuff, including good looking forearm smashes and lariats. They do a nice repeated alternating attacks to a guy in the corner. There is one really odd spot that I think they were going for a hit from front and back on Havok that Havok countered in the front and no sold the back attack. The Solution hit their powerbomb/blockbuster combo on one of the Rednecks to eliminate them. The ACW tag champs come out and hit some eh stuff. The second half of the match isn't as crisp as the first. The finish is the Solution going for their move again and Papadon getting knocked off to the floor and the Champs countering into a rough looking frankensteiner for the pin. It seemed like Papadon was limping a bit after the bump he took to the floor. From what I've seen of the Solution, they been a perfectly acceptable tag team with some good looking double team moves.

PP: I was glad to see the Rednecks back, as we were afraid they'd quit the biz after the beating the Christopher Street Connection laid on them at the last JAPW show. The Rednecks are quite OK and my stance on the Solution continues to soften from when they debuted at the Sportsfest cluster back in August, which wasn't even their fault in the first place.

RD : Up next we had an intermission where I was talking to the guy next to me able the Blackberry pagers in hopes of finding a new job. At the end of the intermission, Crowbar came out and said that tonight he was going to be the hardcore character and tonight he was going to wrestle. Up next Tony Devito came out and challenged anyone in the back to a match, out came the Sandman, leading to :

Match 8 : TONY DEVITO vs. THE SANDMAN :
RD : Sandman does his entrance, Devito hits him I think once or twice with a trashcan and the rest of the match is all Sandman, who puts Devito away with a top rope somersault onto a ladder. Entrance was longer than the match.

PP: Insert Sandman formula here. It's like he's the hardcore King Kong Bundy making the indy rounds... then again the style Sander works is barely conducive to staying healthy for the next month, much less a 10-year run like Bundy's had.

Match 9 : THE BOOGIE KNIGHTS W/ BOBCAT vs. DA HIT SQUAD in a Prop Guys Weapons Match :
RD : Basically a fight where a bunch of guys in the front row give the guys weapons to use in the match. The placement of this card turned out to be a bad idea as these guys made a complete mess in and out of the ring, with the ring being covered in flour, lettuce, ketcup and other junk. it was a goofy, but fun match, including one of the Hit Squad doing a diving headbutt with a gorilla mask and an afro wig on. The finish was Mafia setting up the burning hammer when Bobcat gets on the apron and takes off her t-shirt so she's in her bra. Mafai is hyp-mo-tised by the boobies and moves in for a closer look and Bobcat grabs his head and gives him a real close look. There is concern that Mafia might not be getting enough oxygen, but he assures us he's ok by slowly moving his hands to Bobcat's ass. While distracted, the Boogie Knights tape two rubber chickens to their feet and hit a double super kick on Mafia for the pin. Next there is great comedy as they only have one guy trying to clean up the massive mess with a tiny broom.

PP: You could tell that this was booked at least in part for the locker room as while the match was going on, you could see about half the crew watching the show from behind the curtain. Remember what we've said about the BKs getting beaten into our hearts? Well, Drake illustrates this point for everyone as he takes a 360-degree bump off a RUBBER CHICKEN shot from Mafia. I have seen it all now... guys taking a rubber chicken shot like Rock takes the stunner. Later on Monsta hits the aforementioned gorilla mask/afro wig diving headbutt and you can see the guys in the back losing it. The finish is a riot as Bobcat memsermizes Mafia with her rack while the BKs tape the chickens to their boots, load the chickens by stomping on the mat like the Grappler with the illegal boot, then lay Mafia out with the double superkick. Too funny.

Match 10 : XAVIER vs. BALLS MAHONEY : LAST MAN STANDING MATCH FOR THE USA PRO TITLE
RD : This ends up messy in more ways than one. Both guys have flour on them from the ring. There's some brawling around ringside and Balls tries to get a table set up to do a spot, however, each table he finds is bad, so then they do a walk around ringside trying to find which side they're hidden under. Then it gets to the point that Xavier has to crawl under the to the middle to push tables out, but even those are bad so they give up on the spot. During this, Xavier gets his head cut open from the back following a chair shot. Eventually, Balls gets the win when he hits a top rope nut cracker suite and Xavier can't get up from the 10 count, so Balls is the new champ.

PP: I was pretty annoyed with this match since Xavier has no business working a gimmick match with someone like Balls if all he's going to do is use the chair. I mean Balls can wrestle... the match he had with Crowbar at the UCW show in June was bizarrely good as they stayed on the mat for the
most part, and it would've been received much better if it wasn't something like 90 degrees in the building that night. The condition of the ringside area didn't help as it looked like Ground Zero, and watching Balls try to find a good table was like watching a snipe hunt. At first you couldn't tell Xavier was cut open, but then as he rolled around on the mat you could see the pretty patterns as the splotches of Xavier's blood mixed in with the flour still on the mat. This was a mess. OTOH, the USA title belt is really great live... all holographic and rainbowy.

Match 11 : EDDY GUERRERO vs. DEVON STORM :
RD : Prior to the match, they finally get 2 brooms going on cleaning the ring. Of course, Ref Hanson is sweeping it out and doing a good job of sweeping directly into cameramen and security at ringside.

PP: I felt sorry for Hanson as he tried to clean up the ring between the semi and the main event as you could tell that between him, the security and the ring crew, he was the only one who really wanted a clean ring. He even went as far as to flip over the mats so the crap from the tag match would be underneath the mats. The sound guy (who was missing cues left and right all night) then played "MMM Bop!" while Hanson was trying to clean up, which was actually pretty funny.

RD : This was a good match as it started out with Storm working clean and them doing some mutual respect spots, but eventually they get into a shoving match and Devon starts working heelish and his woman manager comes to ringside. I'm pretty sure she worked with him in JAPW at one point. She gets in some shots on Eddy from time to time. Devon did a good-looking surfboard move at one point. Eventually Eddy counters the valet's interference and gives her a slingshot somersault senton to take her out of the picture. He and Devon continue to go at it a bit more. Devon tries to use a chair at one point but Hanson stops him and Devon takes a swinging DDT onto a chair and gets finished off with a frog splash. Funny part as Eddy sneaks in an ass grab on the manager before heading off. The only really blown spot in the match was rana attempt off the top by Eddy on Devon, which it seemed like Devon's knee gave out, but they finished up the match ok. I also have to give credit to Hanson again who used the ring mess and Eddy complaining about tape/junk on the mat at the start of the match to build a spot where he'd be out of position so Storm could try to bring in the chair as he was looking away temporarily.

PP: Eddy continues to sup deeply from the Fountain of Youth as now he's gone back to the lighter highlights in his hair from the Gringos Locos period. This wasn't nearly as good as Eddy/Ki, but it was still quite good and nowhere near the stinker I feared as I dreaded the two of them mailing the match in once they saw what a mess the ring looked like. Live and close-up Eddy projects this total superstar vibe, and I hope he can get cleaned up for good so he can climb out of Indy Hell.

RD : All in all, it was a mixed bag of stuff. It was a really, really long show. I mean, it was an 11-match show including a 6 way, a 9 way and a tag gauntlet match. The Eddy/Storm and Ki/Homicide matches were good and the weapons match was at least fun. Worth the trip.

PP: I dug most of this although Goodman seems to have the same problem that Jac Sabboth has, i.e. putting 18 million guys on a show. Still, the matches we came for lived up to the billing and I'll try to make their show at the Paerdegat Athletic Club in Brooklyn on March 9 (as Ray has already begged off). In the meantime rumors continue to swirl that the Elk's Lodge's days as a wrestling arena are numbered... this is a recording.