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PAS: Tim and his brother Paul come pick me up, and we roll on down to Silver Spring to pick up a stank smelling hung over Tom, because everyone knows Christmas is the day you get obliterated and pull some strange. Ho hoho.

TKG: Aw man. That's kind of uncalled for. I didn't even pay for her drink. Tim and Paul were nice enough to pick me up and put up with my stink. Clarence Oddbody might not have earned his wings this Christmas... but damn I smelled worse than the time I first earned mine. Tim and Paul are good eggs and really amusing as we share favorite "wow was WCW goofy but we miss it" stories.

PAS: We get to the armory a couple of minutes early and buy a St. Louis DVD and Rock N' Rolls v.Midnights in NC. We run into Rob Naylor and in a contrast to his normally morose demeanor seems rather excited.

TKG: I buy endless slices of pizza since I hadn't eaten since 5 Pm yesterday. Look around for Lee Benaka and am disappointed not to find him. And then mock Naylor for missing the Cornette vs. Heenan show.

Jimmy Jacobs v. Trent Acid

PAS: Acid is working a disgruntled losing streak gimmick, so we get Acid working a lazy gimmick, apparently he has been working this angle his entire career. Jacobs is a ton of fun, and this was actually pretty good, as I appreciate stalling. Acid quits post match, which means that he is getting a push. Someone needs to post his address on CZWFANS.

TKG: I tend to like Acid as king of stalling more than Acid as worker so that was fine. Jacobs is really good and this was real good opener. Trent Acid working an Indy-Raven “ I quit” angle is going to stink. Johnny Kashmere is a shitty Kanyon and Shorti is a pretty shitty Chastity. I guess it would be amusing to see Nick Gage get thrown into the swimming pool. But still...the Entourage angle is right there...Acid is uninteresting...Kashmere works and facially sells alot like Drama...Gage looks more retarded than Turtle. It's a shame they don't have Feinstein around any more. He'd make a great sleazy Jersey director "Trent, you don't have to worry cause I've cast myself..."

Angel Dust/Becky Bayless v. Deranged/Lacey

PAS: This was actually better then it had any right to be, I figured if they were going to run this match they should have gone ahead and put Buff E on one team and Trent Acid on the other. You can't run the Exotico/Mini/Luchadora mixed match with just the Mini's and Luchadoras. The Lacey v. Becky stuff actually looked good, I guess that is a first round match for the "Girls C.M. Punk fucked" women's tourney they are running in 2005.

TKG: Post match the Ring Crew Express runs in to clean house and HOLY CHRIST ON A CAT DOES KEVIN DUNN HAVE A GREAT MUSTACHE!!!!! Kevin Dunn has this new mustache that really combines the best aspects of Robert Gibson’s early eighties stache with the best aspects of HiroHase'sstache. Like the rest of the Express gimmick, Dunn's facial hair perfectly straddles the line between sincere homage and hipster irony. I mean fuck!! My memory of the match was that it was fine if messy at times and the build to big tags seemed off and that Angeldust and Deranged had a bunch of ridiculously big cool double stomp spots. But honestly I remember very little of the match as I was so awed by the Dunn stache.

Rockin Rebel v. Din T. Moore

PAS: I guess since this was Final Battle and the day after Christmas, Rebel decides that he wants to actually work a match with spots and bumps and shit instead of just a squash. Rebel forcing himself on the fans is the most pathetic thing I have seen in years. It's wrestling, I would be perfectly happy if he gouged the shit out of ROH to use his license, but he has to be the biggest mark in wrestling to force himself to be booked. His promo after the match shows that he actually thinks he has "heat" as opposed to people just hating watching him. This unsurprisingly killed the crowd and tainted the decentish matches which came before.

TKG: Green Lantern fan had this as just over 4 minutes. It felt like 20. At one point, I remember asking, "Are they going for time limit draw"? This had a ton of different sections to it that really didn't feel like they were put together in the right order. People who are impressed by the way Helmsley works Benjamin or Benoit might dig it. Post match there were some incredibly shitty belt shots.

PAS: It is a pretty accurate comparison, Rebel's one bump is less impressive then Helmsley's one bump, although Rebel's strikes might be better. However it felt like Din T. Moore was more over with the crowd after this match, while Helsmley always leaves his opponents less over.

TKG: I don’t know how far I’d want to go with the comparison. Supposedly on house shows Helmsley works entertaining matches built around comedy spots which the crowd actually connects with . Unfortunately Helmsley is enough of an idiot mark that he believes he has to make his big TV and PPV shows into BIG TIME matches and so nobody connects to them until the big time multiple run in false finishes. One could argue that Rebel is somewhat smarter as he strung the comedy section into the match…unfortunately no one connects with Rebel comedy. Memory is that the Rebel vs. Glen Osbourne matches were better than the Helmsley vs. Undertaker…but that might have less to do with Rebel and more to do with Glen not trying to work a “work the body part worked shootstyle match” where the finish is him sitting up because MMA can’t hurt the living dead.

Homicide v. Josh Daniels

PAS: This was fine, but pretty instantly forgettable. Cide had some nifty arm stuff, but Daniels was pretty exposed in a longish singles match. They really should have figured out something to do with Cide, I think a singles with Dixie or Izzy for example would have killed this. One thing that ROH needs to do is sit down its guys and limit the number of guys throwing chops. There is a chop exchange in every match, and when you have guys like Daniels who are just some stiff chops, it hurts them immensely if everyone else is getting the Flair whoo too.

TKG: Unlike Phil, the Rebel match didn't taint the two matches that came before it. On the other hand the Rockin Rebel match tainted and just fuckin ruined this match. Rockin Rebel was trying to work a seasoned veteran versus young top prospect match and well did it horribly. Homicide was working a seasoned veteran versus hungry youngster match. And really I couldn't get the Rebel match out of my head long enough to focus on this. They needed a scramble match to get the taste out of my mouth. Homicide did a really cool second rope senton onto a standing Daniels' arm. But no way I was going to be able to connect with this match.

John Walters v. Jimmy Rave

TKG: The OutKast Killers are using a stronger air freshener than they've ever used before. Surrounded by the stench of Philly fans plus my own stench (I mean the smell of alcohol and sex is one thing but when I went to change my clothes the next day it looked like I triggered a gag factor... as the combo of my sweat and what looked like bile and regurgitated food formed a glue that made it difficult to separate my cords from my left knee) I was thankful for the improvement in air fresheners. During the match, Frank Talent (rep of Philly wrestling commission) walked over to Diablo Santiago and quickly called an improved comedy spot. Talent asks Diablo for the air freshener to check it for chemical content. Santiago tries to hide it. Talent demands it and ends up sprayed in the face. Frank Talent walks off in a huff in a really great ineffectual bureaucrat strut. It was the smartest best-worked spot in this match. This match sucked.

PAS: Ugh, this match may have been even shittier then their previous match. That match at least had some nifty Rave heel shtick, while this had nothing. I don't remember as many blown spots, but I totally zoned out here. One thing that was really weird was that Walters didn't do any lungblowers, and for a one move guy, not to even do his move. It is like Skee Lo not playing I Wish. The need to bury this belt with the Field of Honor trophy.

TKG: Aw man that's uncalled for. Skee Lo was a far better rapper than Walters is a wrestler. One could make the argument that Skee Lo was one of the originators of Backpack rap... while the rest of rap was all about self mythologizing, Skee Lo built raps around living a mediocre normal existence…in a genre built on braggadocio, Skee Lo invited the grandchildren of Grace Paley to enter the Cypher. As an aside I should point out that the Cash Money Millionaires skills at lyricizing the banal are really under appreciated (for every lyric about TVs in headrests there were at least two about car seats just having adjustable headrests)…but they became the strawmen for indie rappers to fight against while Skee Lo became the model to follow. I hope to God that Walters isn't as influential. This was so soSO much shittier than their last match up. My eyes glazed over like Alex in a Clockwork Orange. Post match Walters turns and Green Lantern Fan earns my support by demanding that Walters salute the Ghanaian flag.

Maff + Whitmer v. Carnage Crew

PAS: This was a pretty big mess, lots of plastic chair shots and kind of awkward table stuff. Didn't have the intensity of some of the better ROH brawls, just really felt listless. Not nearly as good as Hit Squad v. CC, and Whitmer is no Monsta Mack. Foley coming out to cut his self-serving promo, totally killed the pacing of the match, and turned it into basically a comedy match. I have dug the shit out of the Carnage Crew during the first half of 2004, but this feud really stank.

TKG: I think this worked for me more than it did for Phil. I had been to the 11/6 show and really hated the Aries/Strong vs. Punk/Steel no DQ match. Live that was an absolute unfocused mess and you never had the kind of “this is out of control” feeling that one should get when watching a no DQ match live…the feeling that you had to be there. This match had a lot more focus and I dug a bunch of the Maff/ Devito interactions. Well at least till the Foley stuff. Yeah of course this wasn’t as good as the Carnage Crew vs. Hit Squad stuff. This feud doesn’t have the same hatred based heat and Whitmer simply isn’t as good asMonsta. The crowd was pretty dead for it until Foley came out…crowd popped for Foley and then Foley used the match to put himself over in this really uncomfortable way. Foley brought thumbtacks into the ring…Whitmer hit an exploder on Devito onto the thumbtacks and then Foley paraded around Devitos back to the crowd “look at the stuff this guy does to entertain you” then Foley made all the match participants hug. Flair’s criticism of Foley was that he was “glorified stunt man”…Foley said to the crowd “hey look at these thumbtacks, that match that you just watched was a glorified stunt show”. That finish and as a result that match wasn’t anywhere near as emotionally satisfying as the Sep 15th Pondo/ Cash Flo vs. Robinson/2Tuff Tony match. That match was about telling a story, Foley turned this match into something glorifying the workers not the emotion of the match. Watching Foley on the mic talking about what Hardcore wrestling meant to him really exonerated Randy Hales for me. Randy you were right…that guy doesn’t understand how wrestling works.

PAS: Hales told Foley that you can't take the same bumps for Ray Odessey as you do for Jeff Jarrett. This match was the definition of guys taking Jarrett bumps for an Odessey match.

TKG: Supposedly Hales also complained to Foley about how they work "HEAT" in Memphis which is built around heels cheating. According to Foley, Hales said that heels weren't aloud to do anything gutsy. That comes accross as pretty bullshit to me as Dundee, heel Mantell, and heel BJ Travis were gutsy...they just didn't do the kind of self agrandizing bumps at the expense of the matches that Foley specializes in. Foley comes out puts over this match and well Hales was right, this had a handful of pops but NO HEAT.

Foley + Steamboat hot oil massage

PAS: I was expecting them to start making out, Joe sucker punching Foley was cool, but the rubdown before this was just killing me. ECW Cactus Jack was my favorite wrestler, but man do I hate ROH Foley.

TKG: Ughhh. This went on forever with both Steamboat and Foley putting Foley over. Foley goes through this explanation of what wrestling means to him that bears a striking resemblance to the Hustle food court concept and I’ve seen how well that works so I hope that with Steamboat leaving, Gabe wont let Foley take his backstage guidance role. Steamboat then talks about how Helmsley knows how to get heat..and well maybe it’s a good thing Steamboat is leaving cause I don’t want to see Rebel with the belt.

PAS: Both Steamboat and Foley take care to really put over Helmsley even though it was clear that it was antithetical to their face roles. It really feels like Steph has an intern going over tapes of indy dates that their guys do, to make sure they put over Hunter. Shit even Dusty didn't make Flair put him over when he was working touring champ matches in Portland.

TKG: Al Snow can no longer work indies since he used a Pedigree as a transition move toward a stunner.

Jay Lethal v. WMD 2

PAS: This was really fun, WMD 2 was taking some big bumps, and his offense looked really good, I especially liked him leaning down to block the Dragon suplex. At this point this was match of the night.

TKG: Yeah easily the match of the night thus far…but that really comes across like damning with feint praise…this was better than that. But what’s going on with Jay Lethal’s hair? He looked like Sam Cooke. How much pomade did he put in his hair ? How is he ever going to work Mcguinnes again…the dueling hair products will cause a fire hazard. “American Dreams” is set in Philly, do they legit tape it there? Someone is going to need to Tivo the episode with Chingy as Frankie Lymon and Jay Lethal as the tenor singer for the Teenagers. What the fuck? WMD was wearing a Green Phantom mask. He was really taking things nastily and hit a nice clothesline. I liked this match a lot.

C.M. Punk/Steve Corino v. Alex Shelly/Roderick Strong

PAS: Really weird way to end a feud, this was listed as the final confrontation between Gen Next and the SecondCity Saints, but the Gen Next team were pretty superfluous to the match. The focus was on C.M. Punk and Corino interacting with each other, and their opponents were along for the ride. Punk and Corino had alot of amusing shtick, but their opponents were basically Pez Whatley and Devon Storm on NWO Saturday Night. Shelly then gets punked out by Aries in a really faceish way, and you get the sense that Gabe is Bill Wattsing him for going to TNA.

TKG: Corino as face is pretty ridiculous but its always fun seeing Corino live. Frankly since their title match with the Pittbulls, Gen Next have been pretty much booked as comedy midcarders so I wasn’t as bothered by the way they were portrayed here as Phil. Traci Brooks is easier on the eyes than GuilotineLegrande but still miss Guiloteen’s presence. I liked this although it really ended abruptly, it felt like it was building toward another two falls or something. And doesn’t Bryan Riegel post here? Someone should tell him that Richmond claims JT Smith as their own.

Low-Ki v. American Dragon

PAS: I have seen nearly all of their matches live (except for Memphis and JAPW tap out) and I was totally amped for this one, as Dragon has gotten so much better since their last match. Early part of this match was about Ki working over the arm, which Dragon did an amazing job of selling, before Dragon gets pissed off and starts stretching Ki. Dragon's new beard is amazing and he really looks like a survivalist now, when he gets pissed, he looks like Ki is trying to take his guns. They really were working for a classic here, but then they go to a countout finish, which really sort of shits on the earlier work. I don't mind that as a finish, but it wasn't the right finish for the body of the match, and it felt abrupt.

TKG: There were a lot of things I enjoyed in this match as it was taking place. AD is angry about being attacked by Rottweilers, Homicide and Ki after tag match and promised that a more violent angry American Dragon was going to have his revenge. Meanwhile Ki starts this match stripping himself of his usual thug pants—wears his wrestling gear which kind of came off as show of respect. There was a bunch of really nice ground stuff in the beginning of the match and its been ages since I’ve gotten to see Ki do that kind of ground work. But the ground work wasn’t really hate filled. Its not impossible to do heated angry groundwork…watch Ito…or watch Lawler vs. Mantell in their barbed wire match where both were doing matwork trying to control on the ground. American Dragon has just become amazing at selling. It’s no longer “ooh that’s a cool sell” but instead “aw fuck I was enjoying this match I hope he isn’t hurt.” where you totally buy it..and there was this really great American Dragon as one armed crippled master fighting against the odds section. And I really liked some of the brawling in the crowd including the amazing airplane spin in the crowd… but I didn’t really have any feel of why they were taking it to the streets at that point. But it just never came together for me. One of the things I really love about Dragon is the finishes to his matches. With Dragon matches, I’m consistently happy with the finishes ..in a way that I’m pretty consistently annoyed by finishes in Japan and the rest of US wrestling. You watch enough US wrestling and Japanese wrestling and you often find yourself going. “that would have been a great match if they ended it right there”..but unfortunately they never do..they always try to milk at least one more near fall after the match really should have ended. I never feel that with American Dragon matches; they end cleanly perfectly. And so I blame this match on Dragon. This was a match with a schmozz finish. The secret to a schmozz finish is to promise the perfect finish and then deny it to the fans. That means the entire match needs to build toward that only to have it taken away. This match wasn’t building toward anything and so instead of the shmozz denying the fans a finish…it really felt like it denied the fans a match. A shmozz that steals the finish from you leaves the audience wanting to see a cage match or a no DQ match a schmozz that steals the whole match just leaves the crowd feeling cheated. Some time ago I remember Randy Hales on Meltzer’s radio complaining about Danielson in Memphis. Danielson refused to work Memphis heat and wanted everything to be clean. Danielson at this point may be better than anybody else at working a clean finish but he’s awful at working toward an unclean one. Randy Hales has taken a lot of shit over the years. And I feel that we all owe him an apology. He should hear that at this point we recognize that he may have been right all along. Does anyone know which Sonic he manages? I owe him a phone call. I liked this match as it was taking place but live as a whole it didn't work for me.
 

Austin Aries v. Samoa Joe

PAS: Joe had one of the greatest title runs in wrestling history, and I am glad that the match that ended it was as good as it was. Joe really dominates the opening part of the match, but they set up a lot of little stories which will pay off later in the match. Their wasn't really bodypart psych here, but they basically set up the brainbuster v. muscle buster. Aries keeps going for the brainbuster, and it keeps getting blocked, setting up for the huge pop, when it finally gets hit. Joe was so awesome in this, especially near the end when you can see it all slip away from him. He was also amazing in his in ring bumping, the first big near fall is when Aries blocks a powerbomb and turns it into a rana, and Joe just flies over like SUWA, which is amazing for such a tubby guy. He also took Aries crucifix driver better then anyone I have ever seen. I think Aries is a fine choice for champion, but this was Joe's match, and I need to see Aries work a title match against someone not as great before I pass judgement.

TKG: Both of these guys have really great facial expression selling and I think I would enjoy a DVD of this that showed nothing but their faces. Aries did his great grab the ropes for relief spot and from where we were sitting we could watch him contort his face to control his breathing (in with the good…) and really he facially got across that he was struggling to hit every move on the bigger Joe. Phil’s already talked about Joe’s facial selling of guy who won’t let this slip away. On the car ride home after show we talked about whether there was a body of the match cause you bought every single fall and the first fall must have come five minutes in. I think the match did have a body but that the near falls were integrated into it. There was no real seperation from body section and finish section. Aries really has to struggle for that rana. He weakens Joe for it and uses quickness to hit it and it really felt like it could be over right there. Of the false finishes, Phil forgets the HOT roll-up near fall and the crazy Hot Boston crab near fall. Anyone who reads this site knows I HATE the WWE’s “Rock-hits-Austin-with-the-stunner-Austin -hits -Rock -with -peoples –elbow” section. But I really need to watch this on tape to figure out how they did it here and made it work. Aries is left in a position to hit Joe with Joes own maneuver –the crab- and its like a light goes off in Aries head that this might work and I thought it might end right there. Part of that also has to do with Joe. The WWE guys normally no sell there own finishers -the Rock Bottom only gets a three when Rock hits it..if anyone else applies the move you don’t need to sell it. Joe sells the fuck out of that Boston crab both selling the move and his anger at getting caught in his own move. I’m not sure what Aries title defenses are going to be like,and I’m not sure what Joe’s matches no longer as a guy defending the title are going to be like. But this match here was great, both guys left looking strong.

PAS: This really was a one match show, but it was one hell of a match. It has been said alot, but bares repeating, both Joe and the bookers did a hell of a job building this belt to mean something. We are way too lazy at this point in our collective lives to do a DVDVR 500, but I think Joe would be number one at this point. A position that I thought American Dragon would hold forever. When you look at the last two months, with the second and third Punk matches, Dragon match and the Aries match, there is just nobody else working at that level.

TKG: Yeah what Phil said. I expect the show will be one of those shows that worksalot better on tape. But live this was all about the main and the main delivered everything it needed to. Also ROH really needs to become a midwest only fed--the ring is better, the crowds are better, the guys that they only use in midwest smoke the guys they only use in Philly, etc. We leave go to a slow slowDennys and Tim, Paul, Phil and myself list amuse ourselves poking fun at how Jacobite will respond to the show results. Good times.