Your Guide to the Authors
MH: Marcel Hillie - DVDVR Rookie of the Year
TKG: Tom Karro-Gassner Ė DVDVR Inspirational Playboy of the Year
PS: Phil Schneider Ė DVDVR Most Hated Playboy of the Year
PR: Phil Rippa Ė DVDVR Commissionerís Choice Award. And thatís a SHOOT~!
MH: Off we go again to Glen Burnie, MD for some Maryland Championship Wrestling. Iím not feeling this one too much, but theyíve advertised Qeenan Creed vs. Red and some guy who used to have the Black Tiger gimmick. I take a pass on Chelsea vs. Leeds and get over to Schneiderís to meet the guys. Oddly, theyíre all late. Thatís not like them at all.
PR: I jet out of work to head home and walk the dog. I arrive to find the maintence crew fending off BJ, so I deal with that, throw on a shirt with a minimum of pet hair and turn around to trek back up to Schneiderís.
MH: I watch The Score for a bit and then join the Phils as they attempt to contact Tom, whoís apparently wandering the streets of Washington DC. Schneider says that heís not too far away and that it would be easier to go get him. Never again will I take DC driving advice/ideas from Carless Wonder Phil Schneider.
PR: For some reason, I decided to trust Schneider for directions. I figured ďHey, it has been 6 years. Maybe his sense of direction has gotten better.Ē I should have known there was no Chipotle in the basement of the building.
MH: We shove off into the heart of Washington DC. Then go out itís ass and back in again. We must have spent an hour going up and down Conneticut AvenueÖveryÖslowlyÖ looking for Tom who we eventually track down. Now we just need to get turned around. This takes even longer. Never again will I take DC shortcut advice/ideas from Carless Wonder Tom Karro-Gassner.
TKG: Iím the Shimoda of the Playboyz: Iím a hard case, because if youíre judging on pure work and ability, Iím generally poor, but judging on all other aspects of playboyhood, then I am way up there.
PR: Basically we are all to blame. Schneider for thinking 2 blocks is the same as 10. Tom for not wanting to walk up the street. Me for thinking 14th Street took us to the Beltway. Marcel for not wanting to make several illegal U-Turns.
TKG: I accept no blame. Yes I was late and confused and lazy but Iím expected to be late and confused and lazy . I mean, read my contributions to the last couple of DVDVRs. I was told we were meeting at 6:30, when in fact we were meeting at 6:00. The last thing you ever want to do is tell ME to show up late.
PS: Iíll except the blame for this, the sins of the playaz shall wash over me.
MH: Rippa manages to guide us back on target as we all start thinking of how badly we want to go to this show. We then realize that MCW always starts with talking, so we shouldnít miss too much, provided they donít run Creed/Red first off. We press on. I manage to surprise Tom by telling him that I actually donít mind having him around. Now Schneider, him I hate.
PR: Despite being lost, the car ride was fun as we search the Lynch list and Tom tells us about the time he worked for the Federales or something.
PS: Lynch has the B. Brian Blair and Tony St. Clair in New Japan stuff finally, I freak out and party.
MH: During the ride, it was noted that Jose Maximo had gotten hurt and was on the shelf. We start thinking about how the card could be shuffled around to account. None of us had in mind what would actually happen. We make it and I almost get the others to pay for my ticket. We walk in literally as the talking ends and the first match begins.
PR: Mark Shrader takes our money again. I make a joke that only Phil would get regarding Markís looks.
TKG: We miss the opening mic work and arrive on time to catch the first match. Somehow I squeeze my way past the 1200 MCW fans get chicken tenders and the evil jalapeno pretzel and find a spot to watch the show.
PR: There was no way Tom was pawning that jalapeno pretzel off onto me. But MCW does deliver the food as the chicken tenders are always tasty and bottled water that didnít smell or taste like feet.
THE HOLY ROLLERS vs. DANNY DORING / CHRIS CHETTI vs. THE BACKSEAT BOYS
MH: To show the level of interest we have in this, Tom and I go for food and Schneider looks over the tapes for sale from Smart Mark Video. Rippa watches the match, I think. We all eventually return to the ďactionĒ and Mike, who was manning the SmartMark Video table comes over to chat for a bit. Heís a cool guy and tells us who the guy with the Rollers is (Genesis, a local guy training in the MCW gym, I guess) and who Chettiís partner is. Now, none of us watched ECW in the dying days, but that guy didnít fit the blurry mental picture of Doring that I had. Heís gotten a dye job and has worked on his upper body. I wondered how folks know what we look like now, but thereís the whole getting on camera at the PWF show we went to. I was fairly easy to pick out in that crowd. Oh, the match? Backseats won with something.
TKG: Iím convinced that Iíve met guy from Smartmark table and forgotten his name. Shamed, I never bother to introduce myself. I apologize for the lack of courtesy. The guy with DD written on his tights looked to be the smoothest worker in the ring.
PR: If his name isnít Mark Ė it will be for the rest of the show report. I sat on the floor eating my chicken tenders and paying attention with half an eye because someone had to. The big problem with the ID job on Chetti was that he looks NOTHING like I remembered. Of course, part of that is because I hated Doring and Roadkill. I almost donít recgonize the Backseat Boys either as they arenít double teaming Ruckus and breaking tables. Anyway Ė just for the record, this match was supposed to be an #1 contenders match between the Holy Rollers and the SATs. Well, Jose Maximo is hurt so they made a three-way. That would be the theme of the night.
PS: I seem to remember Doring and Chetti doing something cool, but I canít remember what it was, and there is a good possibility that they didnít do anything cool
PR: FUCK! What was that? It was some double team thingy. Oh, THATís it. They did this nasty stuff tombstone piledriver that was all about the hurty because it all about the unprotected because we are sloppy.
JULIO DINERO vs. BILLY REDWOOD
MH: I mentally slap around Tim Noel for pimping Julio for so long. Then, I join the rest of the guys at the SMV table looking over whatís for sale. Tom and I were chided for not trying to scam some tapes. Uh, Tomís the vampire, remember? Anyway, Mike was very cool and eventually worked something out with Tom and Schneider. As for the match, I think Redwood won. Bruiser hits the ring and lays him out afterwards.
PR: Julio makes a fine fine second for the SATs though. After the watch, the Bruiser waddles out and attacks Redwood and then mumbles about how he will defend the Heavyweight Title tonight. Damn you Axl Rotten! Damn you and your friends!
TKG: Alexis Laree is cute as a button. Their wasnít much of her actual ring work displayed in this match. I wish Columbus Championship Wrestling sold tapes so I could see the card with her vs. Hosaka and The Wrestler vs. Mike Jackson. All she does in this match is her tornado DDT on Redwood. Billy Redwood does a great job selling for her tornado DDT, and his job making it look semi believable is the most impressive thing in the match.
TKG: The crowd is dead for the wrestling and only pops for Lareeís DDT and the prospect of her getting hit. The crowd sucks. The only way to get their interest is to beat a woman or do a WWF comedy spot. Deadest crowd Iíve ever been in. I mean 1200 people and you couldnít even get a hand clap started. Iím a strong believer that traditional southern tag wrestling can get even the deadest crowd into a match but there were no tag matches on the show so I couldnít test my theory.
PR: The bartering over at the table is great as we all hold back laughter having Donnie B pimped to us as a good comedy worker. Mark, whilst a really nice guy, must not read the board as much as we gave him credit for.
TKG:I purchase two IWA-MS tapes from Smartmark. As usual their dual camera work is really good. I wish they had taped the KOTI. IWA-MS is a really fun promotion right now: Ian looks to have lost a ton of weight, Bull Pain and TODD MORTON are great heels; Todd Morton looks better than heís looked at any other point in his career; Sherri Martel is working face; Mitch Ryder is a devil in a blue dress; and Corporal Robinson carries a rookie to the best match Iíve seen in 2002. Corporal Robinson is a natural face as he carries himself like that kid we all picked on in elementary school who stewed ďOne day, Iíll show them! One day Iíll show them all! One day, Iím going to be an amazing garbage brawler! And then youíll be sorry you ever made fun of meĒÖit adds a level of passion to his workÖyou canít help but to root for him. You can only hope that someone you once taunted amounts to something this cool. YOU NEED ALL THE IWA-MS, BAY-BEE!!!
PS: Sherri Martel is working face in my pants as well. Tom also forgot to mention the great heel work of CM Punk who works a straight edge punk rock gimmick (with Xís drawn on his taped fists), which is heat seeking in the crowd full of glue sniffers in IWA-MS. I have nothing relevant or true to say about the match.
MH: Somewhere around this point Jeff Jones hits the ring (Blech) and gets the crowd all hyped up for the whole TV thing. This got the most noise by far all night out of this dead-ass crowd. This also means the match times arenít gonna get much longer for the rest of the night.
PR: Stupid TV tapings. Stupid short matches. I am stunned that the crowd gets hyped up enough to look good on camera. Which reminds me. I saw that someone sent in a show report of this show to Meltzer claiming that the crowd was 1200. I guess I must have counted for 73 people. Orlando Jordan comes out. I canít figure out what either guy is saying and then Bruiser waddles back out. We now know what the title match later on is.
ROMEO VALENTINO vs. RONNIE ZUKKO
MH: Winner gets the services of Ronnieís valet, Candie. This match is bad, bad, bad. No story/pacing/anything, just two indy guys going through the motions and not looking good doing it. Speaking of which, how is Candie the sex symbol in this promotion? I mean, Iím certain sheís a very nice girl and Tom would probably love to be rejected by her next Friday night, but I donít see the appeal that would have 12-year-old boys running around with 8x10, damn-near-nekkid pics of her like I saw last night. Anyway, the match finally ends with Valentino slumped in the corner and Ronnie about to do something, but Candie stops him and goes for a stinkface, but Valentino cops a feel and pushes her headfirst into Zukkoís gut, which leads to a Valentino rollup that gets three. We all think that Valentino would want the girl heís fighting to get the services of to sit on his face, but Schneider comes up with what has to be the explanation for that.
PR: WHEN FORMER TAG PARTNERS COLLIDE! Actually, the stips were that if Ronnie won, Romeo had to leave MCW. If Romeo wins, he gets Candie. It is unclear if it is for 40 DAYS~! and 40 NIGHTS~! (tm Dusty Rhodes). The expected Candie turn never happened but by this point my eyes had glazed over.
TKG: I leave the smart mark table. Luckily I donít get lost in the crowd of 1200, before finding my way back to my seat. I was actually psyched for this match as I got indy workers names mixed up and I thought it was going to be Rico Cassanova vs. Ronnie Zukko. Valentino is a poor poor manís Cassanova. Zukko is working a neo-rockabilly fashion victim gimmick, complete with brawling like a sissy.. Everyoneís execution in this match is somewhere between ugly and embarrassingly ugly. Valentino tries to get heel heat by threatening to physically abuse Candie. Unfortunately that gets big pops. Candie takes forever to set up a stink face as she slowly squeezes her pants down before attempting it. Rippa doesnít understand why Constantino wouldnít want Candie to sit on his face. Schneider suggests she might be on the rag.
PS: I think this is when Marcel complained about the lack of flow.
CHRISTIAN YORK/JOEY MATTHEWS/JIMMY CICERO vs.
DINO DEVINE/CUEBALL CARMICHAEL/KELLY BELL
MH: To account for injuries or some such, TQM brings back in apparently-ex-TQM Cueball to help out in this match. Well, heís not helping this match in any way, but you get the idea. I donít remember too much about this one either, except for some really bad punches. As the pre-match talking alluded to, a Cueball screwup costs TQM the match. This drives everyone in TQM loopy, and apparently the team is broken up. Various tag team matches will follow, Iím guessing. Tom decides to take this match to clue us in about his foot fetish. Yikes.
PR: The stips for this were that if TQM lost, the had to break up Ė which is actually a shame as I did really dig their enterance music and Tara is quite easy on the eyes. We spend most of the time wondering which Bowman has his arm in the sling because the whole reason for Cueball is that either Chad or Chip (and we are pretty sure this is Chad) has his arm in a sling. Is this 1996? Because the prospect of seeing Joey and Christian work twice in the same week is just hitting me. We get a terrible scare near the end of the match when Cueball takes off his shirt. Thankfully, there is another one beneath it.
TKG: I donít have a foot fetish. Total Quality Management is managed by Tara Ryzing and she has tiny tiny feet. The tinyness of her feet are distracting. It actually distracts from the ring work when they put her in a tree of woe. She has scary tiny feet. Are they binding in Glen Burnie now? I mean Tara has great thighs I just donít know how her tiny feet can support them. Just distracting. This match was not pretty. Christian spent too much time in the ring for the face team and was working silly loose. Joey Mathews can actually throw a decent looking punch. There is no reason to have York be the guy who does the ten punches in the corner spot. Cicero was the third member of the face team. Scott would have liked his contribution to the team because yes Ciceroís work is flawed, but nobody has embodied what makes MCW wrestling what it is more than Cicero has. Anyone who canít see that must be ďfucked upĒ.
TKG: For a big load, Kelly Bell was far from the worst big load Iíve ever seen. If USWA was still around, I could see him winning the Southern Heavyweight Championship and Lawler getting a good match out of him to win it back. Hell I could see Bell holding the belt multiple times. I dug Chad Austin on the mic, wish I got to see him actually wrestling. At the end of the match Tara announced that sheís leaving TQM, and wants to from now on be referred to as Jeanie Levesque.
PS: I actually could see Cueball also holding the Southern title, possibly under a masked monster gimmick.
PR: I could absolutely see Kelly getting his head lit on fire with a fireball as Lawler regains the title.
MCW YEAR-END AWARDS
MH: Russ Hass wins inspirational wrestler of the year, and I have no problem with this, as itís a nice plaque for the family to have in his memory. Letís seeÖ.Billy Redwood is rookie of the year, Red is most popular, the SAT three-way is MOTY, Candie is manager of the year, Valentino is most hated. Wrestler of the year was Adam Flash. This takes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long and of course, intermission follows right after.
TKG: York and Mathews accept the award for Haas and talk sincerely about him. Red thanks the fans and God for his award. Dino Devine wins most improved wrestler of the year which means we get to hear more Chad Austin mic work. Chad Bowman RULES on the stic! Than radio personality Dr. Blasphemy wins the commissioners choice award. Before his acceptance speech Blashemy announces that ďTHIS IS A SHOOT!ĒÖand suddenly Iím left disillusioned. So Red thanking God was a work???? Damn you Red. Ask yourself Red, who is the real blasphemer?
PR: So Joey tearing up when talking about Russ was a work? Damn you Joey Matthews!
PS: That SAT 3-Way which was the least of the 746 3-Ways I have seen with them making match of the year was a sad statement on this promotions match quality. How do they keep drawing 1200?
MH: We wonder how long this is gonna take, as they have at least three more matches to get through. But then, Nitro never had that kind of problem, did they? We wade through the perpetual cloud of tobacco smoke that stays floating around this place and get some air. Tom and I discuss the Stripper-In-Training who got made up to come to a wrestling show.
PS: I really think, I would have gotten laid a lot more in high school if I had gone to school in Glen Burnie. I think I could work a white hip hop redneck scum gimmick fine. Of course I would have had five kids by now, so maybe it all worked out for the best.
TKG: There was a lot of young trim out there. I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Iíd like to help show them all the beauty they have insideÖ
PR: At some point, Tom points out the white girl with extensions and the rainbow on her jeans. I point out that makes her look like a My Little Pony.
QEENAN CREED vs. RED vs. JOEL MAXIMO
MH: Why does everyone think three-ways are good matches? I was looking forward to seeing Red/Creed mano y mano, but no, they couldnít think of anything else for Joel to do. Fuck. This wasnít good, either. All three guys were off their game here, hesitant, slow, and a bit sloppy. Not good. Joel gets eliminated off a Red Star Press, then Creed gets a rollup soon after with the tights. This is heel stuff of course, as was the belt shot he administered afterwards, but we had no indication as to if he was a heel beforehand, as this crowd was bug-on-my-windshield dead.
PR: I guessed the three-way after seeing that Red and Joel were both in the building. I hate being right.
TKG: Ugh this is bad. Instead of Red and Joel working two on one against Creed, this is worked as every man for himself and is a mess. One of the most impressive things about Red is his speed. Heís easily one of the fastest workers out there today. The constant action of a three-way-dance, means that an audience hardly notices his speed. Red is constantly working three ways but they really are a bad way to showcase his talent. Red eliminates Joel, and there is about a minute of really neat looking work that Red does to Joelís lariat arm to get the submission. I hope Red eventually works a singles match with Joel as this seemed to lay out an interesting way to approach it. Creed eliminates Red, and I think turned heel in the process.
PS: This sucked about as bad as a match between three workers I like ever has. Everybody looked off, as Red and Joel tried to work their standard SATís 3-Way except Creed clearly couldnít work that type of match, so everything fell apart. This was significantly worse then Billy Redwood vs. Julio Deniro which, considering the talent, is flabbergasting.
PR: And the Creed heel turn (he waffled Red with the title belt after the match) made no sense and had zero crowd heat. This was so Nitro in the Russo days.
MARQUIS JORDAN vs. DOUG DELICIOUS vs. 2 DOPE
TKG: The ring announcer says ďFrom every girls fantasyÖ.Ē I turn to Schneider, ĒIs it possible, I mean if Red can work loving God than maybe they worked a death? ď than the announcer says ďDougÖ.Ē And I MARK OUT!!!!! DOUGIE !!! YEAH BABY!!! Unfortunately it turns out to be some guy named Doug Delicious who Schneider mistakes for AJ Styles.
PR: So not even close to being AJ Styles.
MH: So Jordan has a Model gimmick, and comes out
to the ring to some Rupaulís song. Tom and I speculate that if heís living
his gimmick, that his female valet is only for show. Assuming sheís female.
This was initially Jordan vs. Doug, but 2 Dope comes out and demands a
crack at Jordanís TV title. So of course, this match is made a three-way,
too. Ugh. Doug gets eliminated by 2 Dope and Phil can stop thinking that
heís AJ Styles, and a Somewhere around this point Jeff Jones hits the ring
(Blech) and gets the crowd all hyped up for the whole TV thing. This got
the most noise by far all night out of this dead-ass crowd. This also means
the match times arenít gonna get much longer for the rest of the night.
Tom can stop wishing for Doug Gilbert to show up. 2 Dope didnít look too bad here, though. Jordan has obviously learned to take all of his bumps directly on the back of his neck.
PR: Jordan was not left out of the awards either as he was named Manager of the Year at the Blockbuster he works at. I SWEAR TO GOD! It is so so freaky to actually enjoy seeing 2-Dope in the ring.
TKG: This was the best of the three ways on the card tonight. They worked a storyline based on 2 Dope being the face and Jordan and Delicious being feuding heels. The double teams and the heel miscommunications and back-stabbings gave this three way more of a flow than the ďevery man for himselfĒ one before it. They eliminated the white guy first, which is always a good idea. 2 Dope looked crisp and had the most consistently good execution of anyone on the card thus far. I worry about the future Pro Wrestling Iron students as Marcus Jordan looked like he was going to be paralyzed for life about 15 times in the course of this match. Itís ok not to take the bump on your skull.
PS: I was shocked at how decent 2-Dope looked considering he had looked totally ass every other time I had seen him Sideswipe clears the ring afterward and we get the touching 2-Dope and Sideswipe reunion. I think I saw Rippa tear up.
BRUISER vs. ORLANDO JORDAN
MH: I still canít get over the fact that Bruiser is allowed to train people. This Jordan didnít look bad either, laying in some nice clotheslines. Bruiser eventually goes over with his ďExploder,Ē which is more like his propping Jordan up on his shoulder and then throwing him backwards. MCW Nitro is running along at full speed here.
TKG: I didnít have that much problem with Bruiser. He was fine. Not as good as 2-Dope, but fine. The pretty barmaid with the thin eyebrows but thick lashes lets me finish her bottle of Jack. Maybe that put me in a good mood but I enjoyed this match.
PS: I didnít hate this as much as the Red 3-way or the tag 3-way or the really bad Brusier vs. Corporal Punishment feud. I didnít exactly like it though.
PR: I started dozing off. I did notice that members of the auidence were leaving. Who stays for Bruiser but leaves for Eddie?
ADAM FLASH vs. EDDY GUERRERO
MH: This damn crowd was dead for Eddy Guerrero. Fuck it, we popped for Eddy. And he looked great beating Flash every which was but loose and then stretching him out. Flash had some hope spots, but not a whole lot. Eddy was just on his game here, looking every bit like the old Eddy. We were kind of bummed to see that his counter of his opponentís attempt of break his STF is a regular spot, but it was still cool. Eddy is really doing the Tommy Dreamer Indy Tour, as he came in, wrestled like Eddy Guerrero, and then put over the local guy clean in the middle with the guyís finisher. This came as Eddy was pounding Flash into the mat and took too long going for the Frog Splash, missing and giving Flash time to nail the Top-Rope Legdrop for the pin. Flash honestly didnít do a whole lot here besides a couple of hope spots and the Legdrop, but he could have at least thrown better punches. You canít bring your best stuff when you work Eddy Guerrero?
PR: The crowd noise was basically us and the two Adam Flash fans near the ring. We also debated punking out the person who had the DUI sign. Hey, I read the internet. Arenít I whitty? Flash punches have always been bad so I donít think they are magically going to get better just because he is wrestling Latino Jesus. Flash sold way more than I have seen him done which was a very good thing since that was his job in this match. I think the only other time I had enjoyed a Flash match was the 6-way from awhile back. This gets a full Worldwide point from me.
TKG: Eddy looks much smaller and healthier than he did in the WWF. He did a really good job of constructing this match around the limited Flash. Flash sold for the entire match, which was more than I expected out of him. Even when hitting his own spots Flash never forgot to sell that he had taken punishment from Eddy. The MCW crowd was dead for this match. We tried to start a hand clap when Flash was struggling out of a submission, we tried to start a ďEddy Sucks ď chant as Eddy worked sleazy heel. But the crowd wouldnít join us for any of itÖalso Eddyís heel work is so awesome its kind of hard for me as a rudo fan to chant against him. If Eddy had worked the same exact match in ECWA against Cheetah Master the crowd would have been Jose Clemente Stadium rabid. But this was MCW, so no such luck. If theyíre putting this on TV, they really should pipe in some recorded noise.
PS: Eddy continues to look like the best worker in the world. He laid out a smart match, but the worst crowd in wrestling couldnít seem to give a shit because he was mat wrestling and not making funny GED jokes with his trannie girlfriend. Fuck it, I loved it, also Eddy is such a pro as he isnít pulling any primadonna shit, just going around the circuit and putting over the local stars.
MH: Iím glad I went to this show because Eddy looked so great, but there wasnít anything else on this show that I would want to see again. The TV format condenses the match so much that even the good workers donít get time to work their matches. Unless they can keep brining in stars like Eddy for these tapings, MCW Wednesday Nitro can easily go on without me.
PR: I laugh because Marcel conned YoYoJeff into buying this entire card on tape. HAHAHA... sucker! I also laughed when SatanPro got all excited because MCW was going to be on Richmond TV. HAHAHA.... sucker!
TKG: I donít see returning either unless itís a really stacked card that appeals to me. Can I suggest Chad Austin vs. Dixie heel v heel, thatís a feud Iíd like to see? Leaving the show a six year old boy says to his mom, ďThat Eddy was the best guy on the show and they only let him wrestle for 14 minutes. Ē Heís a smart kid assuming that was a shoot.
PS: I donít think I am coming back to MCW. I have
been to shows with worse work, but the utter indifference of the scum in
the crowd really keeps me from enjoying myself. Iíll save my 15 bucks for
JAPW or ECWA thank you very much.