TEDDY HART! HOMICIDE! LOW-KI! B-BOY! EL GENERICO! DAN MAFF! JAY LETHAL! FRANKY THE MOBSTER! CHRISTOPHER STREET CONNECTION! PINKY SANCHEZ! PINKY SANCHEZ??? JAPW 1/29/05! Insert zany comments here.

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RD: Rev Ray Duffy, doesn't recognize the symptoms of a heroine addict
PP: Pogo Pete Stein, lets sleeping vagrants lie

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RD : After a week of bazillion degree cold weather, I head out to meet up with Pete at the JAPW show in Rahway. We do the trade off of the Japanese roster mag from him in exchange for the "Crunky" candy bar I found at an Asian market. Pre-show is pretty uneventful. They let us in to the building but not into the seated area a little early, which was nice considering it is the middle of the winter. We could have sworn we saw Justin Credible pre-show, however, he didn't wrestle on the show. Pre-show Fat Frank, though not announced as "Fat" as he usually is came out to inform us of some people not being at the show, mainly Jack Evans due to landing on his head in So Cal a week or two ago, Roderick Strong getting stranded due to travel issues and Austin Aries having to cancel due to an injury. Refunds are offered, which is always nice. They also mention that they've added an IWS title defense to the show with Frankie the Mobster defending against Excess. They mentioned they were running the ECW Arena/Viking Hall in March with B-Boy and Homicide facing Teddy Hart and Jack Evans in a cage. They had a "dark match" at around 8pm.

PP: Crunky is SUCH a Lil Jon sponsorship deal waiting to happen. I was absolutely chomping at the bit for some live rassling as I'd been out of town for each of the last two JAPW shows. I hit my usual Midtown haunts before heading out to Rahway and note that Book-Off still has the CIMA photo book sitting there for us to spring on someone. The weather had been pretty horrific in the days leading up to the show, although it was downright balmy while we were waiting in line. Then again I went to school in Illinois and had to endure at least one day of -17 weather. That's -17 BEFORE the windchill61 below with the wind.Anyhoo, we get inside about 30 minutes before belltime and I make Ray weep bitter purofanboy tears as he beholds my Takayama "GERMAN SUPLEX" shirt. (Big-ups to Tim Noel.) Steven DeAngelis is YOUR ring announcer, now sporting a slicked back hairstyle and suit that makes him look like a 1920s carnival barker. Steve coming out results in a "Fuck ROH" chant for some reason. Fat Frank announcing Franky/Excess for the IWS title is pretty great just for his "I don't know who the hell these shmoes are either" face after making the announcement.
 

DARK MATCH 1 : CHEECH & CLOUDY v. ASHE SAMUELS & ARCADIA :

RD : Special K continues to explode as 3/4th of the guys have been in that group at one point or another. The ropes are super loose for this. Pete complains about me stealing his "I've seen tighter ropes at Foxy Boxing" joke so I immediately follow it up with "I've seen tighter ropes in GLOW." They kept this really short before someone killed themselves on the ropes, but there was some neat stuff in it. Cloudy and Cheech doing a double team where I think Cloudy hit the 619 as Cheech drop kicked the guy in the back at the same time. Samuels and Arcadia hit a neat move where Samuels did like a catapult up on I think Cloudy, Arcadia jumped off the top with a blockbuster so as Cloudy fell back he landed on Samuels' knees for a backbreaker. Arcadia ends up pinning someone with a cross armed face first piledriver/pancake move. They wisely tightened up the ropes after this.

PP: Ash and Arcadia get on my good side right away as they use the Beasties' "So Whatcha Want" for entrance music. buttrock.gifI think this was the match where Arcadia hits a belly-to-back on Cloudy who rotates to the point where he take it like a Northern Lights facebuster. The ring ropes start to sag noticably around this point and I get flashbacks to the one USWA TV show near the end where the ring collapsed during a match and they had to do promos for the rest of the show. Ah, live TV. They go home right away and the ring crew goes after the ropes; someone in the crowd starts a "Let's Go Ring Crew" chant and I'm compelled to start a "Holy Shit" chant in response as the ropes get tightened.
 

MATCH 1 : THE CHRISTOPHER ST CONNECTION (Buff E & Mace) v. Mystery Opponents for the JAPW TAG TEAM TITLES :

RD : This was first of the "Wild Card" challenge matches. The challengers end up being Alicia, who Stephen DeAngelis mentioned in his ring announcement as "being legal as of today" and Arele Little Feather. Buff E and Mace didn't seem thrilled at the prospect of wrestling the women and said that the fans wanted to see them wrestle men. The issued an open challenge to face the next two men who came out, which lead to B-Boy and Homicide of the Strong Style Thugs coming out. This was a pretty quick squash as Homicide and B-Boy make short work of them. B-Boy got the win by hitting a brutal shining wizard to get the pin.

PP: Oooh, that was a weird-ass way to announce Alicia. "Yes guys, it's ok to rub one out to her!" For a second I thought I was at a USAPW show. Buff is pretty funny selling the idea of having to wrestle someone... immune... to their charms... before calling out two men to wrestle them. SST hit the ring and this goes maybe a minute before B-Boy absolutely wastes Buff with the Shining Wizard for the pin and title switch. Homicide looks really weird with his hair growing out.
 

MATCH 2 : NEENO CAPONE v. EC NEGRO with KC Blade v. DIXIE :

RD : I think this is the first time I've seen Neeno Capone. Looking at the match, it almost had a "dark match" look to it as it had a guy who was debuting, EC Negro who they haven't had anything to do with since Blade got injured and Dixie who's also been without a direction for a while. This was ok. EC Negro was great chopping the hell out of both Capone and Dixie. He's had some really fun matches with guys in dark matches lately and he continued the streak of holding up his end of the matches. Capone looked decent in this... I'm kind of blanking on anything really of note, but he didn't do anything really horrible that I can recall and he attempted to do the lucha bounce off the ropes on your neck fakey on a planchaDixie ended up putting away Capone by hitting a schoolboy with his feet on the ropes. Post match, a bunch of women, I think Lacey (I don't know what she looks like, but she was advertised for the show), Alicia and Arele come out to I think the Special K music and they left with Dixie.

PP: Fun, longish match after the quick squash and quick non-squash to open the show. Capone wears gear that looks like something Sting might've worn in 1988. KC Blade actually accompanies Negro to ringside for the match, but Negro does the DRS pose himself in-ring which makes me think Blade must be in pretty bad shape if he can't even jump up for the pose. Negro has way too much fun chopping away at the pasty white guys throughout this. Dixie goes over via the schoolboy with rope assist and the girls come out to this super-generic techno music (not the Special K theme). I think Strongbad passed this over before going with "The System is Down."
 

MATCH 3 : DERANGED v. DAN PAYSAN :

RD : Dan Paysan is one of the IWS guys, I didn't recognize him because in the matches I had seen of his, he had long hair. This ended up being "eh". Fans got out Paysan asking "Where's my Pizza" and "Where's my breadsticks". At some point Paysan went for an arabian press and slipping/didn't get his leg over the ropes on the first attempt and got a "you fucked up" chant. Deranged hit a monster top rope double stomp at one point. It also seems like both guys kicked out of each other's moves as Paysan kicked out of Deranged's high speed sunset flip and Deranged kicked out of some head drop move Paysan used. Deranged ended up getting the win with a springboard elbow drop.

PP: I had no idea who Paysan was going in... he had a stylized "dP" logo on his gear that looked like a "CP" instead, which made me think "Cerebral Palsy?" Then the match started and I wondered if I wasn't too far from the truth. Paysan looked decent but there was obviously going to be some sketchy moments here as they'd never worked together before. I head for the facilities only to stop and watch the rest of the match from the other side of the ring; I'm standing near a couple of cops (lots of police tonight for some reason, like 5-6 of them) and one of them totally loses his shit for Paysan yelling "THERE'S YOUR FUCKING PIZZA!" at the fans after hitting a move. Botched Arabian Press actually worked for me as a good heel spot since he got a metric ton of heat for it and sold the screwup well.
 

MATCH 4 : THE CARNAGE CREW (Loc & DeVito) v. HIP HOP OVERFLOW (Corvis Fear & Rush Margera) :

RD : This was pretty much a squash. Corvis got his ass kicked for the first half of the match and then made the tentative tag to Rush who took an ass beating for the rest. Carnage Crew hit their Aureviour move, they also did a Razor's Edge by Devito with a neckbreaker by Loc onto one of the guys who was down, I think Fear on top of Rush. Crew won with the super spiked piledriver. They threatened to do a second one, but Hanson tried to stop them and got pushed down for his troubles.

PP: H2O come out to J-Kwon's "Tipsy," which doesn't have quite the same effect as the 3rd Bass tune. The Crew are a fun brawling team so this was pretty entertaining while it lasted. JAPW has a metric ton of teams and factions just cooling their heels for no good reason... I wouldn't mind them doing a tournament or something to get the teams more involved down the line.
 

RD : They followed up with an in ring interview with Dan Maff and Fat Frank. Maff thanked everyone for their support of him over the last year, including Monsta Mack and Homicide for helping him along. He also thanked Hanson. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn.

PP: They've gotten really good at these angles where babyfaceMaff comes out and cuts a promo for no apparent reason. I will give them all the credit in the world for that.
 

MATCH 5 : AZRIEL v. BEEF WELLINGTON for the JAPW Light Heavyweight Title :

RD : Azriel was without the services of Rick Silver, Attorney at law. Beef got a big pop when his music hit. Nothing like being at a wrestling show and people knowing the non-chorus lyrics to "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block and singing along. This was kind of fun, it mixed comedy and straight forward wrestling as Beef actually has some nasty stuff in his arsenal of moves besides the dreaded Ass Punch. Right off the bat Beef went for the eye poke which Azriel blocked in the classic Curly Howard way. Highlights of this included Beef going for a tazmissionplex off the top rope and Azriel flipping out of it and landing on his feet on the first attempt. They were fighting for something on the top rope at one point which ended up with Beef getting crotched on the side ropes. Azriel then double stomped him on the head/shoulder as he was straddled on the ropes. I think Beef fought back and eventually hit the bigsuperplex move. Azriel dodged one ass punch attempt and I think hit a super kick after moving out of the way, but he took it later in the match. Azriel eventually hit the electric chair driver to score the pin. Pretty good match. Post match, Beef did a little mic work saying he was "this close" to winning the title and thanking everyone.

PP: You haven't lived until you've heard 500 people singing the "Hangin' Tough" chorus at a wrestling show. I love the indy wrestling. I came to the realization during this match that Beef isn't actually a good wrestler, but his gimmick and personality more than makes up for any of his wrestling shortcomings.
 

MATCH 6 : FRANKIE THE MOBSTER v. EXCESS for the IWS Heavyweight Title :

RD : Frankie's pants were like if Kevin Nash's Diesel pants mated with Trent Acid's silver pants and had children. I was quizzed by Pete on why Excess is no long a "69", which I couldn't really answer outside of "Well, he turned against the commissioner on a show I didn't see, but they explained on a later show sort of." Several people in the crowd were checking to see if RF was still at his table when Excess was in the ring. I suggested to that Frankie had a hand in the death of Dino Bravo since he's from Quebec and in the mob. This was kind of eh. Frankie puts on this really exaggerated pissed off face and worked hard at heeling with the crowd. The crowd was into it when Excess got on offense and popped pretty good for his weird crab submission he had on Frankie. Finish was Excess setting up I think for a rana or superplex, Frankie caught him and hit his chokeslam move for the win.

PP: I immediately told Ray I never want to hear "Kevin Nash," "Trent Acid" and "sex" in the same sentence ever again after he said that. Nevernevernever. This was kinda hit or miss as Franky (or "Frenchy the Mobster" as I called him) looked really good in some spots and REALLY green at other points. He also had the big goofy facials that I can only assume play better in front of our friends north of the border that they did here in Gotham's shadow. Both guys worked hard and the match had its moments, but the crowd was sitting on its collective hands pretty much the entire time. It should be said that this was the deadest JAPW crowd I'd seen in a looooong time, probably since the Secaucus show in 2003. Frenchy goes over via Super Chokeslam.
 

MATCH 7 : DAN MAFF v. PINKY SANCHEZ for the JAPW Heavyweight Title :

RD : This was another of the Wild Card matches. Sanchez, who's been working dark matches lately, came out to "Micky" by Toni Basil. Maff had the "Are you serious?" look on his face when Sanchez turned out to be his opponent. This was pretty much a squash as the fans chanted "Maff is gonna kill you" at Pinky, but it was a fun squash. Maff hit a bunch of his signature spots and almost killed Pinky on a Blue Thunder that looked like he dropped Pinky on his head. Eventually Maff puts Pinky away with the burning hammer. After the match, Jay Lethal's music hits and he and Maff face off and Maff agrees to defend the title against him.

PP: Maff is freaking hysterical selling the letdown at who he has to wrestle, looking at us and mouthing "WHAT THE FUCK?" in exasperation as Pinky comes bouncing out to "Micky." (Amusingly this was just minutes after I'd described the NOAH Christmas show bit to Buck Johnson about Akitoshi Saito coming out to said music in drag.) It's a short night for young Pinky as Maff burns through all of his big spots and kills the bejeezus out of him. Blue Thunder, Burning Hammer, drive home safely.Maff is just at the curtain when "Push It" (Static X, not Salt N Pepa) hits and Jay Lethal stampedes Maff back to the ring for his challenge.
 

MATCH 8 : DAN MAFF v. JAY LETHAL for the JAPW Heavyweight Title :

RD : I liked this match a lot. The crowd was pretty into it as there was a pretty good sized mix of chants for both Jay and Maff, with the crowd mostly behind Jay. It seemed like Jay hurt himself early on in the match as he went for a leg lariat in the corner where he'd land on the apron, but he sort of didn't get his footing or slipped and took a spill the floor. It seemed like he was favoring his leg or back for a bit. This was pretty fun as both guys threw a beating on each other. Jay threw Maff on some big suplexes and did the fiery comeback hitting a few great lariats that Maff bumped like a king for. At one point, Jay dodged something and charged Maff only to take out Ref Hanson. Maff continued to work on Lethal as Paul Turner came out to take over reffing duties. Lethal made a comeback and hit Maff with a bunch of stuff before eventually hitting the diving DDT and scored the pin. The crowd popped big and Jay was practically crying. His family came to ringside and were hugging him when Hanson got in the ring and DQ'ed him for hitting Hanson. Maff, who had been upset at losing, but was congratulating was acting like he didn't want to win this way. Jay backed Hanson in the corner and had him by his shirt yelling at him, when Maff nailed him from behind.

PP: IT'S A TRAP!

RD : Hanson turned out to have a Dan Maff shirt on under his referee shirt, so I guess he's now a heel manager for Maff. This was fun but wow, did they fire the overbooking torpedoes on this. I don't have a problem with them turning Maff heel and to be honest, I think Jay winning the belt is something that they should build up slowly, but man, this is like the 3rd or 4th screwy finish to their heavyweight title matches in a row. Granted Hanson turning heel could sort of explain the earlier ones, but still way too much overbooking on that. Maff's turn probably could have been done in simpler terms, but still I really am looking forward to this program down the line.

PP: GOOD LORD did the crowd come out of its collective coma for this match. I still marvel at how we've been going to JAPW shows basically since Jay debuted, and also at how he's evolved from a Tough-Enough trainee (he started with them as a result of JAPW doing a TE-style contest) to the point where he's practically one of the group's aces. And this crowd is totally in love with him... how much? When he botched the springboard move, the crowd didn't even do the standard "YFU" chant. THAT is respect and concern. This is a really good match that probably goes about 20 minutes, with lots of momentum switches and a suitably nuclear crowd for the proceedings. Postmatch festivities were done about as well as you could expect given the circumstances, even with the Dustying of the title back to Maff and the ensuing turn of him and Hanson. My assumption is that they were going to hold off on this until the ECW Arena show, but with Jay's original match torched (he was scheduled for a 4-way with Aries, Roderick and one other guy before Aries got hurt and Roderick got stuck in ATL due to the ice storm there) they decided to pull the trigger here.
 

MATCH 9 : THE STRONG STYLE THUGS (Homicide, B-Boy & Low Ki) v. TEDDY HART, "MR. WRESTLING" KEVIN STEEN & EL GENERICO :

RD : Teddy came out with his shoulder heavily taped. Teddy did his big moonsault after his intro and the SST attacked as soon as he landed. They worked on Teddy's shoulder and really quick the refs came out and helped him to the back, leaving it a 2 on 3 for a majority of the match. That said, Steen and Generico both looked great against the SST. Pete pointed out the bizarreness at one point of the fact the El Generico was given more offense from Low Ki than B-Boy got in their match. Steen ended up being the face in peril for the early part of the match as he'd get some stuff, but eventually started getting beat down. I think this is the match where B-Boy just murdered Steen with a kick to the face as Steen was sitting on the mat. Generico got the hot tag and I think they worked something where the SST where trying to get him and he kept countering so he got over on all 3. They teased Generico hitting the turnbuckle buster on Ki, with the other SST's making the saves so he couldn't do it. Eventually, Teddy came back out to the apron. Teddy got the tag and hit a little bit of stuff and seemed to be going for the corkscrew 450 when Steen tagged himself in. They argued a little bit and Steen got hit from behind knocking him into Teddy who took a bump from the top to the floor landing on the railing. Ki hit the huge double stomp on Steen to score the win. Post match, Homicide did some mic work telling the IWS guys to go back where they came from and telling Teddy that the SST were sick and tired of him. They did a little build up for the cage match in Philly.

PP: Teddy I believe gets posted bad shoulder-first and you can tell he's hurt LEGIT! since Paul Turner's making the big "X" sign with his hands. IT'S A SHOOT BRUTHA~! Teddy gets carried to the back leaving Steen and Generico 2-on-3 against the SST, but they more than hold their own for awhile. As Ray said, Ki gives Generico more than he gave freaking B-Boy in their match which is way up there on the Bizarrometer. SST eventually isolate Steen and go nuts on him for awhile, B-Boy in particular just murderlating him with a Jason Elam 63-yarder to the face followed by Ki hitting the mile-high footstomp. Steen soon makes the hot tag to Generico and the crowd eats up everything he does with a spoon. Seriously, he's over like a total motherfucker as he crosses up all the SST spots and the crowd makes with the "OLE" chants for him. In the middle of this Teddy suddenly materializes on the apron, obviously going for the Spirit of '76 Comeback... which literally EVERYONE missed since they were engrossed with Generico. He goes for the turnbuckle brainbuster on Ki, who fights it off a couple of times and then unmasks Generico to a ton of heel heat and more than a handful of "DQ!" calls from the crowd. Generico hits the floor covering his face and is essentially done for the night, leaving Steen and Teedy 2-on-3 again. Teddy gets control and goes for the corkscrew only for Steen to tag himself in. The two start arguing until one of the SST push Steen into that corner and sends Teddy flying to the floor, leaving Steen alone against the SST who quickly finish him off for the pin. Teddy and Homicide end the show cutting promos on each other while Ki morphs into Senor Wences and does al'il puppet show with Generico's mask for B-Boy's entertainment. Fun match with a lot of heat, and Magnificent Bastard Low-Ki is a sight to behold.
 

RD : We got out relatively early for this. The show ran pretty smoothly and we didn't have to make a mad dash for the train. They handed out flyers for an upcoming internet TV taping which they're going to be doing, which will be headlined by Maff v. Sanchez in Feb. No word on when they'll be returning to Rahway, but Philly is set to have B-Boy & Homicide v. Teddy Hart & Jack Evans in a cage for the tag titles and a rematch between Dan Maff and Jay Lethal for the Heavyweight title. All and all it was kind of an eh show. There was a lot of stuff on there that was sort of there. Overbooking aside, Maff/Lethal was a lot of fun and the main event was pretty good too.

PP: Always nice when we can make the leisurely walk to the Rahway station instead of running till our hearts are thisclose to asploding. I believe Danny Demanto is booking the show with Maff/Pinky and can only imagine what he must be thinking now that his main event's been booked as a complete joke here. As we get to the station there's some guy passed out on the waiting room floor, and someone else waiting for the train (from "the Upper West Side," as he says about 5 times) takes it upon himself to round up half of Rahway's Finest to deal with the guy. "Yes, I'm a white man of privilege and this Negro is clearly displaying signs of heroin usage. Please roust him from his drug-induced slumber and lock him up."