DA HIT SQUAD~! continue to be Southern Heels! JAPW gives bad directions! KID KRUEL AND GHOST SHADOW~! got all BAT-BATTY! GAY GUYS~! do the babyface save~! Rob Feinstein`s ASS! OH THE HUMANITY~! The Northern Playaz review! [JAPW 11/9/01]


RD : Rev Ray Duffy
PP : Pogo Pete Stein

RD : Pete informs me during the week that JAPW is running a show in Bayonne with Ki/Homicide v. Da Hit Squad as the main event, we decide to head over to see the show as it appears to a short commute on the new New Jersey Light Rail system.

PP: Actually the lineup had been out for a few weeks, but Phil S. kinda goaded us into going to it. =) I do the legwork during the week and discover that it`s actually a fairly easy trip if the directions are correct.

RD : I meet up with Pete after work and we head over to Newport mall for some dinner. I dare convential wisdom by daring to eat Japanese fast food at the mall, but come out unscathed. The trip is suprisingly easy, the light rail is relatively new and is clean. There`s a big to do about getting tickets and having them validated stamped at some machine, then we get on the train and nobody bothers to check the tickets.

PP: So NJ Transit goes by the honor system. Unreal. I settle for chicken and rice from ``Le Bistro,`` taking no chances after the horror that was the Diggity Dog kielbasa. The new light rail is a pleasant surprise and JAPW.net directions are picture-perfect... up until the point where we reach the street the Charity Hall is on, at which point the directions say to make a left when we`re actually supposed to go right. So we go a couple of blocks in the wrong direction before realizing that the bulding numbers are decreasing instead of increasing. Luckily the neighborhood is OK

RD : The show starts relatively close to on time, which is always a plus for an indy show.

PP: Tom would be duly impressed with the JAPW rats. The Charity Hall is such a converted supermarket, complete with the two doors that open parallel to the street. It rules. Inside there`s a giant basketball that we keep waiting for someone to use as a weapon at some point. In the house but sadly not working are the PFKAUCW (promotion formerly known as UCW) boys as the Maximos, Boogie Knights, Danny Demanto, Quiet Storm, Lowrider (I think), Jack Sabboth and Harry Slash steal the chairs from our row and set up their own l`il section on the back wall.

On to the Show :

Match One: MAGIC vs. CHRIS CABANA
RD : I`m thinking Cabana is a rookie, he has really great bad hair and has the the loud green and yellow outfit. This was a quick match, I`m guessing Cabana`s a rookie, Magic squashes him pretty quick with a face driver. Post match, Don Montoya, the Christopher St. Connection and Fun Athletic Guy (your favorite master of bad tape quality and threatener of lawsuits against
your favorite website, Rob Feinstein) come out. I have seen the gates of hell and it is F.A.G.`s ass in a thong. The CSC end up abducting the knocked out Cabana to the back. This is followed by a guy doing a Sheik gimmick comes out to get some cheap heat. Fat Frank (the promoter) comes out to do the pro-USA type deal. Skinhead Ivan comes out and recruits the Sheik as an ally. More of this later.

PP: Cabbana (as spelled on his tights) looks like a human Digimon character between the outfit and hair as described above coupled with the fact that he`s maybe 120 pounds soaking wet. Magic squashes Cabbana in less than a minute and shakes his groove thang to ``Jungle Boogie`` afterwards... IT`S MARCEL! */me dies at the ECWA show mext month* Feinstein comes out and I immediately wish the ``extreme wrestling`` bill had banned men in t-backs aswell as all the other stuff.

Match Two : DON MONTOYA vs. SCARRED
RD : Scarred is doing an abused child gimmick (not to be confused with Exploited Child), with a doll and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt. He maybe a repackaged Moondogs 2000 Wenzel. Don Montoya has lost a lot of weight from the first time I saw him at the 2nd annual Eddie Gilbert Memorial. Don`s also using a cover of ``You Spin Me Right Round`` by Dead or Alive. This was an ok match. They had some nice counter move spots. For some reason I was not impressed with Don`s punches. Don ends up getting the win a chokeslam into a sit down pin move. I am dissapointed as my calls for Don to splash the doll are ignored. Post match, the CSC and F.A.G. dog pile onto Don. I pray the people at Manwich do not use that as an advertisement for their product.

PP: You have to love it when fat guys take it to the mat like Don and Scar did here. Don must be on the Blue Meanie diet because he`s dropped an OBSCENE amount of weight in the last couple of years since I saw him. Scar does this routine where he randomly stops what he`s doing and yells stuff about his father hitting him. Muy disturbo.

MATCH 3 : ``SUPERSTAR`` DAVE GRECO vs. JT JOBBER
RD : JT Jobber is working a Mikey Whipwreck gimmick of a jobber type character who`ll probably eventually get a push to a title run. He doens`t look like he`s been wrestling long, but he does seem to have some charisma and ring presents though it seems like his strikes seemed a little awkward. He did bust out some nice moves in the match and busted out a double underhook DDT that looked like it killed Greco. Greco wore really disturbing pants in this. This match gets run in on by Da Hit Squad who beat up both guys and I believe give Greco the Burning Hammer. This leads to a promo about the upcoming tag title match with Low Ki and Homicide. The Hit Squad are pretty funny on the stick, to the point that Low Ki is trying unsuccessfully to not laugh.

PP: JT looks all of 14, so I can cut him some slack if his stuff seems a bit awkward here and there. He does the great thing of mocking Greco`s... oversized ears, although he didn`t do the Quackenbush bit of dragging Greco around the ring by his flaps. ;) DHS hit the ring and murderize both of them for the NC; Monsta hits the Burning Hammer on Greco, and it should be
noted that for two guys with a rep of being super-stiff monsters, Monsta isn`t afraid to protect the hell out of Greco on the bump. The ensuing stickwork is priceless just for Mafia`s reaction when Ki mentions making him tap out at the Hackettstown show.

MATCH 4 : LAITHON vs. THE CHRISTOPHER STREET CONNECTION (Buff E & Mace Mendoza) (w/ Fun Athletic Guy)
RD : The Christopher Street Connection do a gay gimmick, (for those of you not familiar with the New York City area, Christopher Street is in Greenwich Villiage). They come out to ``In the Navy`` and wearing Sailor hats with little rainbow hearts on them. They worked the crowd well and did some mike work before the match, including hitting on a cop who was in the crowd. Laithon comes out and looks like either Ernie Ladd 2000 or Giant Butch Reed. This match ended up being pretty stiff (no not that way), but it  looked like Buff E was laying in some mean shots during the match. At one point, the CSC ditch the ring and declare they need re-enforcements and go to the back and pull out Chris Cabana, who`s now in daisy dukes and wearing a sailor hat and rubbing his ass. He ends up falling victim to a northern lights bomb I believe and gets pinned.

PP: More to the point, Christopher Street was one of the focal points of the Stonewall gay riots in 1969. The gimmick is so over-the-top that it works to the point that they`re babyfacing themselves to a good portion of the crowd, especially with the micwork directed at the cop (who was definitely NOT expecting this but took it in stride, doing his best not to completely lose it laughing while it was going on). CSC definitely live up  to the ``stiffest faggots in wrestling`` line (their words, not mine), laying
in all sorts of stiff shots on Laithon. CSC eventually get overwhelmed, at which point FAG calls out Cabbana in sailor hat, daisy dukes and rainbow suspenders. As you might imagine, Cabbana doesn`t exactly make a difference and gets pinned with a spiral bomb where Laithon does at least 3-4 revolutions with the dimunitive Cabbana before hitting it.

MATCH 5 : SKINHEAD IVAN (W/ Sheik guy) vs. CHINO MARTINEZ :
RD : I am dissappointed when Ivan comes out in a gasmask and I mistake him for world reknown japanese indy worker Black Gas Mask. Chino sort of looks like he could be a nise Genki Horiguchi with his hair and outfit. I found the fact that Ivan got a lot of guys giving him the nazi salute (especially kids) disturbing. the Shiek interferes at one point, setting up Ivan hitting the Zeig Hiel Leg Sweep for the pin. Fat Frank runs in to attack the Sheik but gets double teamed by them. Eventually the CSC make the save (``they`re gay... BUT THEY`RE AMERCIAN GAYS!``) Glenn Strange comes out and books the return of Fat Frank, in his wrestling gimmick, Lightning Lou Diamond v. the Sheik next month in a fans bring the weapons match.

PP: IMSMR the Sheik guy was billed as ``The Advisor.`` Ivan seems like a decent worker and the Sieg Heil Legsweep needs to be seen to be appreciated, but there were WAY too many people in the crowd (including a guy in a spiky mohawk and his son from ``Jim Henson`s Mullet Babies``) babyfacing him and the gimmick for me not to get the creeps. Thankfully the blacks and latinos in
the crowd took the gimimck in stride. Vince McMahon^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Fat Frank runs in postmatch and stunners both guys, but they make a comeback and use ETHER~! on him. CSC make the save for Frank, and a goombah wrestling promoter getting saved by a small cadre of homosexual wrestlers may be the greatest thing I`ve ever seen at an indy show. Cabbana is obviously
well-versed in his fundamentals as neither Ray nor I were forced to yell ``SELL THE ASS!` at him. ;)

Match 6 : GHOST SHADOW vs. KID KRUEL
RD : Kruel had a cheering section in the crowd, maybe his dad Man Kruel. This match was pretty fun as both guys went all submission holdy on us. This a good worked match and they did wrestling. Ghost Shadow busted out a dive at one point too. Gotta love quasi-shoot style mat work getting in onthe indy level of the US. Kid Kruel ended up getting the win with a cross arm breaker.

PP: The 500 push for Kid Kruel begins, as this was the first time I`d seen him outside TPFKAUCW and was quite impressed. He was breaking out all sorts of cool matwork, leading Ray to suggest that JAPW is picking up where Battlarts left off. JAP-JAP~! Ghost Shadow has a cool gimmick and this match turned out to be a very pleasant surprise.

Match 7 : DERANGED vs. INSANE DRAGON (JAP Light Heavyweight Title match) :
RD : Both Deranged and Dragon are wearing the same pants, so maybe there was a sale at the GAP. Both guys also do a bunch of mirror spots early on like double drop kicks to each other, double jumping kicks to each other`s heads. Then they decided to go get the chairs and the match got really stupid and hurty fast. Dragon started doing a lot of spots that took way to long to set up and were really dumb bumps to take which sort of got me out of the match really fast. Wrestling good, hot firey death bad. Deranged
ended up breaking one of the guardrails after he did a dive and landed with his back on the rails. Dragon did pull off a move where he had Deranged on the ropes, Dragon does a rope spin similar to Tiger Mask and turns it into flying headscissors out to the floor, which ended with a resounding thud on someone`s part. Dragon has the match in control when his brother Dixie runs in and attacks him, but this isn`t enough to stop him, so eventually the Hit Squad run in and lay to waste both guys, ending with both Deranged and
Dragon being press slammed by the Hit Squad and thrown into the wall of the building.

PP: I have NO idea why they felt the need to break out the chairs as their match had actually been progressing quite nicely up to that point. I mean I was dreading this match going in since Deranged had never impressed me in TPFKAUCW, but the stuff they were doing was fun until they went with the garbage. From that point on it was 10 minutes of them killing each other with shitty chair spots until Dixie and later DHS ran in for the mercy killing. KISS.

Match 8 : LITTLE DIXIE (w/ Female Manager) vs. EXPLOITED CHILD ELAX :
RD : I wasn`t paying a lot of attention to this match as I was talking with Buck Woodward for a bit. I did catch Elax taking out Dixie`s manager with a dive to the floor at one point. I do remember Dixie trying to do a springboard move and it getting blown pretty bad with the low ceiling and all. Dixie ends up winning with an air raid crash type move where he drops the guy on his knee or something.

PP: Neither Ray, the person who wrote the report to Meltzer, nor even the JAPW webmasters were apparently paying attention to this, as it was RyanWing working Dixie. Dammit. Wing taking out Valentina with the tope was a great spot in that NOBODY saw it coming since it originally started out like Wing was going to do the tope on Dixie... instead he hit the ropes on Dixie`s side and then gave the tope to Valentina on the other side. Dixie ``snaps`` at this point and eventually beats Wing with a move that starts
out like the Emerald Frosion but ends with Dixie dropping Wing`s head over his knee. Cool, nasty little move.

Match 9 : DA HIT SQUAD (Monster Mack & Mafia) w/ Jonny D v. HOMICIDE & LOW KI :
RD : Hit Squad were doing a bunch of really comical type selling in this which had me laughing my ass off. I`m used to them doing the scary gangsta gimmick for years, so it`s a change of pace. It seemed like Homicide hurt his knee at one point early in the match after a monkey flip spot, but he worked through it. Homicide spent a lot of time as the face in peril in this. Ki and Homicide got in a repeated double stomps on the mat spot and then hit a double top rope double stomp (ala Cutie Suzuki and I think Ozaki) that was pretty evil. There was a bunch of finishers being teased at points in the matches with counters. At one point, Ki was going for the Dragon Clutch on each of the Hit Squad with the partner making the save. This goes out to the floor at one point and Jonny D interferes and gets beat up. Dixie does the run in allowing for the Hit Squad to get the win. Post match, Homicide and Ki beat the crap out of Dixie, inlcuding the Gory Special Driver and a top rope Ki Krusher.

PP: This match was a disappointment only in that we were expecting them to break out all sorts of fiery death on each other... instead, they worked what appeared to be the same Southern-style match they had at Hackettstown. NOTE: At no point would I ever insinuate that this is a bad thing. This isall sorts of fun as Ki and Homicide pull off some cool spots like a double facecrusher out of the corner on Monsta after Ki hits the Tidal Crush. Mafia turns into the world`s largest Eric Embry, selling a Ki knuckle-lock
by dropping to his knees and screaming prayers in Spanish. =D DHS eventually isolate Homicide, who immediately wins the title of ``scariest legit wrestler ever to have played FIP.`` Finish is hot as Ki gets the DC on both Monsta and Mafia in succession before Dixie interferes just enough for Monsta to make his comeback and get the pin on Ki while Mafia, Johnny D and Dixie keep Homicide out of the ring. Postmatch DHS and Johnny take a powder, leaving Dixie to the pissed-off wolves that are Ki and Homicide. Ki toasts Dixie with the Ki-Krusher off the ropes and Homicide crushes his skull with the RGSB. At first I thought it wasn`t such a hot move to keep the straps on DHS, but then I realized that this feud still has legs with Insane Dragon and Dixie involved plus Ric Blade on the periphery once he heals up.

RD : Overall, the show was pretty good, I hadn`t been to a JAPW show since their 2nd Annual Show a few years ago that had a good undercard and then went all garbagy and horrible in the main event. The commute was easy and the show was fun. I am kind of disappointed with the number of run ins, but after a brief catch up on the website and other results, it at least seems their booking of matches are building to other matches down the line with the Hit Squad, Dixie, Dragon, Ki, Homicide and Blade feuds down the line. The next show seems to have an interesting line up so we`ll probably going to that show as well.

PP: This was a fun show. The ``extreme wrestling`` bill may have inadvertently been the best thing ever to happen to JAPW as by adhering to the bill, they`ve allowed the wrestling to flourish as opposed to clowns like Justice Pain and Wifebeater using weed-whackers on each other. We should be coming back on a fairly regular basis now that we know how easy the commute is. Post-show we see Mace Mendoza macking away with the LAAAADIIIEEES by the entrance and shed a collective tear for kayfabe...