YAMAKAWA! gets slashed to ribbons by USUDA! SILVER KING! is king-sized against MIGUEL PEREZ JR.! MANAMI TOYOTA! sells like a Road Warrior. ASIAN COUGAR! is AWESOME! and other stuff from the last couple of weeks...

ALOHA~!

WELCOME TO THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #89!

(This is the REAL #89. Being an idiot, I can't count that high. My wife does the bills and that's why they haven't taken my PHAT ASS Crown Vic away. There you go.)

Schneider scored the mountain of Indie Goodness with the motherlode of BATTLARTS and the Japan Indie World so we HAD to take a swing at that immediately. Rippa got the Sweeeeeeet Loooooochaaaaaa from Schnieder via RASMUSSEN since I found the tape laying around my house and wasn't sure what it was so it was custom-made for one of Phil Rippa's Journeys' Into Grappling Mystery. REV RAY is all over the DISCOVER NEW HEROINE tape except the shoot-stuff where Hotta gets her ass handed to her. I'm not sure where Naimark is, but I'm sure he'll be back for #90. Anyway, Heeeeeeeere's SWEET MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....

#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ JAPAN INDIE WORLD (7/22/98)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
I adore the universe of the whole Japan indie world and I particularly adore the actual promotion (or whatever the hell it is) called JAPAN INDIE WORLD. The nose-bleed inducing HIGHS! The bone-crushingly horrible LOWS! GOD HELP US ALL!

Pegasus vs. Hidetomo Egawa
I think Jeff Lynch is wrong with the Pegasus moniker because I think this PEGAROOOOO or whatever he's called in IWA restart. He's not ready to do anything good enough to cross the ocean and make it to my vcr but is quite fine in the six-man I saw him in a while back. Egawa is scrawny and also really really green. This was a whole lot of Lenny Lane vs Prince Iaukea on WCWSN but with a kinder, gentler Takaiwa Endless Powerbomb thrown in. This wasn't bad at all really but this wasn't anything, really.

Mach Junji vs. Takeshi Hijikata
HEY! It's two of those BattlARTS little guys right here in the indie world of JAPAN INDIE WORLD and they really beat the living hell out of each other. Hijikata and MACH! fearlessly punch each other right in the motherfucking face and WE get to watch. Huijikata gets a kinda weak Triangle Hold on the lil MACH! and MACH! reciprocates with a very Chris Adams-esque Cross-Armbreaker and then blows a UWFi shootstyle German Suplex but then they get back to beating the crap out of each other and we can get back to loving the ass beating. This was one of the best Little Guys Beat The Crap Out Of Each Other-style matches I've seen in a while. They really beat the hell out of each.

Kyoko Ichiki/Chiharu vs. Miyuki Fuji (SPWF)/Chihiro Nakano
Ichiki quit GAEA a while back and her back seems to have healed but she still blows more spots than most gals her age and she also has the distinction of being the THIRD best IWA Women's division product behind EMI~! and Nishibori. Chihiro Nakano was drummed out of GAEA for reasons not publicly mentioned and she was always a larger version of Numao which means she was mediocre but larger than Numao. Fuji who is a helper on Yatsu's eternal quest for SOCIAL PROGRESS through WRESTLING is the first of the four people to get legitimately hurt in this match. When one watches this little effort, one realizes that this would have been the greatest match in the history of wrestling if they actually hit ANY of the spots they tried. TWO of these four are not rookies at all and should have hit SOMETHING and way out of excuses. Fuji I excuse for humanarian reasons and Chiharu got hurt. There is a fun angle at the end with a old gal with a Forty of Malt Liquor.

Manami Toyota/Takako Inoue vs. Yumiko Hotta/ Maekawa
Phil Schneider created a rule that anyone who has ever headlined a dome show is barred from JAPAN INDIE WORLD but then he remembered Terry Funk and we forgot the whole thing. This was really lacklustre, which is surprising since they actually probably got paid after this was over for this one. Hotta is SO not into kicking people really hard these days. Takako isn't even wearing the mind-damaging Black Leather Outfit. To quote Klondike Cornelius, "nuthin..."

Masao Orihara/ Palomino vs. TAKA Michinoku/ Asian Cougar
ASIAN COUGAR IS THE COOLEST WRESTLER YOU'VE NEVER SEEN. The coolspot count for this match was at FOUR with two by Asian Cougar- 1.)Toprope Legdrop Over the throat of Palomino who is dangling off the apron To The Floor; 2.)Somersault Senton Over The Toprope To The Floor Onto Palomino Who Is Under a Bunch Of Chairs (OWIE- OWIE- OWIE!); one by Palomino- 1.)A SWANK rana with full underneath finishing extension, and one collaborative- 1.)Palomino hits a tope that was just HELLBENT for Ciclon Ramirez and Asian Cougar takes it like a KING- full force backwards forty yards. Anyway, the story of the match is that TAKA is a real dick- a quality that that idiot McMahon and that idiot Cornette couldn't figure out how to use and that I was REALLY glad to see again- and Orihara wants a piece of his ass, but TAKA keeps throwing Asian Cougar at him and instead of a big brawl between TAKA the returning dick and Orihara the Usually Suck-Ass Wrestler, all we get is a whole bunch of cool-ass wrestling. This was kind of a singles match between Asian Cougar and Palomino with this big heat segment interruption as Orihara and TAKA try to see who can be the biggest dick- so this was definately the best of both worlds. The TAKA Dick Pinnacle (eh...) was when Asian Cougar has Orihara in one of those 1973 old style wrestling pressure holds that Kendo Nagasaki taught him (I'm guessing here) and TAKA flips him the double birds with a big shit-eating grin on his face just like in the old days before the shitheads in the WWF thought he would be better all cute and ridiculous. TAKA is rusty as hell though- in that he blows the hell out of a springboard moonsault and kills teenage girls in the front row. Palomino wins with a sloppy Hurricanrana and I await the Singles match between Palomino and Asian Cougar because the carried the hell out of this baby. This match is why you stalk the elusive JAPAN INDIE WORLD.

MEN'S Teioh/Shoichi Funaki/Dick TOGO vs. Tarzan Goto/ Azteca/ Masaji Aoyagi
I thought this was going to be good because it starts with Dick Togo bumping like a freak to make Scroto look less than embalmed and as the match goes on you realize that what Dick Togo is actually going to do is bump like a freak to make the horrible and shitty Tarzan Scroto look less than embalmed. Scroto doesn't sell anything, Maivias every opportunity to puss out of every bump and stinks up the mat the whole match. This sucked cock. Tarzan Goto can go fuck himself.

Ryama GO!/Yoshiaki Fujiwara/ Shinichi Nakano vs. Yoshiaki Yatsu/ Horishi Itakura/ Shigeo Okamura
HEY! It's Ryama GO! YES!! HEY! If I gain fifty more pounds I'll look like fellow chub Horishi Itakaru! These two start off and I'm all over the Stretchy antics of the World's Best Thoroughly Washed-Up Old Guy Ryama GO! He's got the SPIRIT! and that's key- the key to my heart. And he stretches the pudge like he's never stretched before. And then he seals the fate of his Awesome Decrepitude- as he does the standing head scissors that I am the ETERNAL sucker for. Nakano is that Shootstyle FAT Elvis guy from UWFi. Okamura is- !YOU GOT IT FATBOY!- a Big Japan Heavyweight! They are in next and they do a bunch of submission attempts really fast. Nakano's Pompadour is SOOOO PHAT. Fujiwara is the opposite of Ryama GO! He is more like the Japanese Roddy Piper- a stinky old guy who stinks and who refuses to go the fuck away but instead hangs around and stinks. STINKS. Yatsu- who was one of the biggest draws in Japan at one point (but HEY! so was Rusher Kimera) goes at the old poot with an all out 1976 attack- as they do a Dory Funk Jr vs Roberto Soto match in slow motion section and then Fujiwara shows his giant flaws as he doesn't stretch the pudge of Itakura. Ryama goes all Batten Twins highflying on Okamura to set up the surreal scene of the Japanese Wolfman Jack (Yatsu) taking it to the mat with Japan's Toughest Elvis Impersonator. It RULED! In a way. Then the headbutts and the crappy old guy wrestling kicks in and the magic is over. A bunch of saves later Ryama procures the Dragon Sleeper and another fabulous Japan indie world tape winds to the end. GET ALL OF THIS if you're a freak like me.

$%$%$%$%$%$ AAA- Aug/Sept 1996 (Part 1 of 2)
(by PHIL RIPPA)
This is the first of two weeks worth of AAA that I watched as Dean passed a tape along that Phil had giving him to me.

Rey Misterio Jr./ Heavy Metal/ Latin Lover vs. Villanos III, IV, V
While it is really nice to see the young, spunky, 4-year-old Rey running around, this match is all about the Villanos and how much I love them. Then throw the interminably old III into the mix and a good time abounds. Two things will stand out as you watch this match. 1) The match is all about Villano IV. 2) A Villano will take a superfluous bump in each caida because... well they are the Villanos. The break out the sloooooooow building first caida that has its cool moments. Rey and IV start off and immediately garner my attention as IV does the great bridge counter to the head scissors. Heavy Metal, thinking that one of the Villanos has hidden his stash in their mask, keeps wandering in for no reason so Rey checks out and Heavy Metal proceeded to exchange armdrags with IV. First Kevin Von Villano unleashes the body vice (the BODY VICE... remember that?) then they hook up for what could have been the longest test of strength in the history of wrestling but it ruled because the captains where in the ring cheering their guys on and the crowd got white hot for a freakin' test of strength. God I love Mexico. The story of the caida is twofold: a) the Villanos want no part of Latin Lover, b) the Villanos think they can take advantage of the younger Misterio. That means a lot of III giving Rey What For before Rey gets his comeback. Lover gets tagged in and Villano III makes skidmarks backtracking away from him. That's when he slips between the ropes and just lands right on his head. Superfluous Bump #1. Lover gets two armdrags in before everyone charges in. Rey hits the double jump tope con hilo for his only highspot of the match. Meanwhile, Lover locks one of the Villanos into the Sharpshooter for the first fall. Never fear because the Villanos bring the old fashion rudo beatdown into the second caida. V plays Fuerza Guerrera and lures Rey in with a handshake and hug. (you would have thought Rey would have learned something by now. Aah, naive youngster.) V also hits the world's greatest baseball slide that pops Heavy Metal in his jaw. During the carnage, Villano IV takes Superfluous Bump #2 by missing the shoulder block to the corner and heading head first to the post. Viva Villanos! The rudos take the caida as the corral Lover and pin him with a Northern Lights Suplex. The continue to work over the technicos right into the final caida. Villano IV hits the drug addled rock star with the oooolllllddddd school tope and the Villanos celebrate in the ring. Misterio swings things back in his teams favor by attacking Villano III who, of course, fakes a foul. Rey wastes time trying to unmask him and gets caught. The Villanos put him away with the Superbomb which looked forty times better than the Pitbulls (mainly cuz the Villanos did it and Rey sold it like a man.). III shows up everyone by hitting the phat ass top rope senton the rudos take the match.

Pentagon/ Fuerza Guerrera/ Blue Panther vs. Octagon/ Mascara Sagrada/ ???
Well before I can even figure out who is in the match, the first caida ends as the technicos unmask Fuerza. I spend the second caida on the phone with Phil trying to figure out who the third technico is. (I, of course, he don't recognize him. My efforts to describe the man in the full body suit of silver with black front panelling and a silver mask with four horns/antennae to Phil and Dean are futile as I am left with a number of choices. Phil thinks it is Transformer. Dean rattles off Discovery, Boomerang (Frisbee) or Halcon). Before the debate is over, Octagon has gotten unmasked and we are all squared at one. The third caida consists of mask ripping and nothing else. The unnamed luchadore rolls up Blue Panther for a fall but Pentagon counters by faking a foul and the rudos get the duke. Hey! two unmaskings and a fake foul. That was worthwhile.

!@!@!@!@!@ ALL JAPAN WOMEN "DISCOVER NEW HEROINE" COMMERCIAL TAPE (8/12/96)
(by REV.RAY DUFFY)
No, it's not the name of the movie about the lead singer from Stone Temple Pilots, this is a two tournament card, consisting of a tag tournament and the V*TOP shoot fight tournament. While exchanging tapes with Pogo Pete Stein, I was got a hold of this and told to watch for a specific kick in the tape which is actually brutal... wait for it... and since DEAN~! has this tape on his list twice and apparently it's never been reviewed, I figured I'd chuck this on here. The bad news is that this picks up in round 2. The good news is that Shark was in Round 1 and is not Round 2, so there is great rejoicing.

Bison Kimura/Yuki Li (J'd) vs. Megumi "HOT PANTS!" Kudoh/Kaori Nakayama (FMW)
Kudoh wears Flo-Jo style tights with a (James Brown Mode on) HOT PANTS! (JBMOff) design. This prompts me to jump back and kiss myself and ask "WHY THE HELL IS SHE MARRIED TO HIDO? YEOW!" All the matches start off with a guitar riff that makes me think that either Elvis is going to show up or a surf competition is about to start. The J'd team seems to be in control. I had to check the list to make sure that Nakayama wasn't the other IWA girl who's not EMI~! Kudoh provides most of the offense for her side, going toe to toe with Bison. They brawl a bit on the floor, including Kudoh hitting Bison with a steel gate. Nakayama does the Ricky Morton rolling tag to Robert Gibson if he was a cute chick in HOT PANTS! Kudoh goes on the offense on Bison until she goes for a rana and gets powerbombed. Eventually, Nakayama gets caught in the ring, Bison disposes of Kudoh and Yuki wins with a weird belly to back bridge with sort a leg hook. Nothing real horrible, not anything to really write home about other than the HOT PANTS! Who likes short, shorts? We like short shorts... as long as someone like Shark isn't wearing them. I consider becoming a wrestler in Japan. After all, I'm sure I'm a worse wrestler than Sasaki and Hido, I'm sure that means I could hook up with some minky women's wrestler, I'm thinking Kanako Motoya-level at least.

Tomoko Watanabe/Kumiko Maekawa (AJW) v. Dynamite Kansai/Tomoko Kuzumi (JWP)
Watanabe looks like she mugged Jerry Estrada and stole all his tassels. Yet this look is actually better than some of her earlier outfits. Maekawa hasn't gone blond or blue yet. Maekawa, who I dig because she's pretty kickariffic and I'm a kicker mark, is the junior member of the team and has the courage (or stupidity) to call in Dynamite Kansai who's not afraid to kick your head in. Maekawa gets in a few kicks before Dynamite drops her with one. All four women get involved quick, Kuzumi hits a springboard plancha onto the AJW gals. Kuzumi works on Maekawa's legs a bit and takes over with drops kicks and a Boston crab. Maekawa fights her off and tags to Watanabe. Watanabe gets in a few moves before Kuzumi hits a top rope sunset flip and tags in to Dynamite who brutalizes Watanabe with forearms for a while. Maekawa gets tagged in, after a double team, Dynamite takes over with a leg sweep and a lariat, but Maekawa answers with 2 flying snap kicks right to the head. Tomoko comes in for some double teaming and Maekawa tops it off with a calfbranding for a two. Tomoko comes in with some lariats which don't drop Kansai until Maekawa kicks out Kansai's leg. Watanabe does the Warrior Rope Shake, hits a lariat before Kansai kills her with a lariat of her own. Kuzumi does a top rope drop kick and some elbows, but can't whip Watanabe into the ropes, so she runs the ropes and gets caught with a powerslam. Maekawa comes in Kuzumi ducks a few kicks and hits a bridged underhook suplex for a two. She goes for a top rope body press but gets kicked in the stomach. Maekawa whips Kuzumi into the ropes and hits her with probably the stiffest super kick I've ever seen. It either busts Kuzumi's lip and gets a big "OH!" from the crowd, the announcers and from me. She's bleeding almost immediately and then gets to take a SECOND one, though her back was to the camera, so I couldn't tell if it was as brutal as the first. Kansai saves the pin attempt. So Kuzumi gets to take a Maekawa Ax Kick. Kuzumi basically looks out on her feet at this point. Watanabe drops her with a lariat and her body press type moves, both of which Kuzumi kicks out of. Dynamite saves Kuzumi from a top rope move and Kuzumi crawls for her life to tag out. Kansai comes in and kicks the abundant supply of fudge out of Watanabe. When Maekawa comes in, Kansai kicks her in the face. Kansai struggles, but does get Tomoko up for Splash Mountain and they advance.

Manami Toyota/ Rie Tamada (AJW) vs. Toshiyo Yamada/ Sonoko Kato (GAEA)
Back biter Toyota jumps the partner who I put with her tag matches for at the bell. Toyota and Tamada throw the GAEA gals into a corner and Toyota gives Tamada a boost so she can do a drop kick. Tamada gets in a bunch of flying moves on Yamada until she gets slapped and Yamada takes over. Kato comes in with a bunch of roundhouse kicks on Tamada and a half crab. Tamada fires back with a bunch of drop kicks and calls in Toyota for a double team, which Kato and Yamada counter with kicks. The GAEA girls further endear themselves to me by not only being all kicky and stuff, but busting on the Veg-o-matic in an ode to my favorite tag team of all time, the Midnight Express. Kato hits the forward somersault slam for two. Kato and Rie exchange near falls on one other. Team GAEA goes for a double team which Toyota busts up with a top rope drop kick. Tamada gets a German which doesn't get a pin, she tries for a Dragon suplex which gets blocked and she ends up getting kicked from the front and behind by Team GAEA. Rie fights her way out of a double team, sending both girls out to the floor allowing Toyota to do a springboard somersault dive (which she didn't slip on). Toyota takes out Yamada on the floor with a top rope drop kick before the AJW girls drop the spunky Kato with a double top rope drop kick. Toyota tries to put Yamada away for good by going for another springboard somersault dive, but this time she finds nothing but concrete (not a second to be seen in the area). Toyota then cements her place on my shit list by selling this move of spinebreaking manitude by selling it for all of *8* seconds and then RUNNING to the other side of the ring to grab Yamada like she landed on a pile of mattresses on the floor. Of course, it does her no good as Kato hits her second rope forward somersault slam for the win. It's matches like this that drive me up the wall about Manami Toyota. I've seen people complain about the jokes that I make and the other DVD Playaz make about Toyota... well Bubba, it's matches like this that drive me to it. For years I've heard how is "The Greatest Women's Wrestler of All Time. Well, I guess I just get every shitty match she's ever had on tape. I will say this, Toyota has some nice moves, a great drop kick and is really flexible so it makes opponents submissions look real good. But when it comes to selling and psychology, it's like she's a freakin' a rookie. And the screaming no good reason. It's one thing to yell when you're in a submission hold, it's another to scream just because you're going to run the ropes. I guess I know how all those guys who insist that Sabu is not the greatest wrestler ever feel. Because I hear a lot of Pro-Toyota sentiment which is pretty freaking ridiculous to me. "Greatest women's wrestler ever" my big fat ass.

Chapparaita ASARI/Kyoko Inoue vs. Aja Kong/Yoshiko Tamura
Tamura becomes the whipping girl early for the not so bovine as she is today Kyoko. Kyoko puts Tamura in assorted lucha submissions and makes her cry like a 9 month old you're stuck next to for 8 million hours on an airline flight. Kyoko does her hippy hippy shake and gives Aja the universal "kiss my ass" sign. Tamura tags to Aja who beats on ASARI until Kyoko clotheslines Aja. Kyoko escapes a double team and picks up the 7-10 split with a springboard double back elbow. Aja saves Tamura from Kyoko's run up the ropes elbow but they blow a plancha spot on the floor and end up eathing dives from ASARI and Kyoko. Kyoko has her way with Tamura until Aja cans her. ASARI gets a near fall with a rana off the ropes and one off the top rope in the match. ASARI withstands a bit of Aja offense with the help of Kyoko and then hits a very rude skytwister onto Tamura. Basically, they land head to head with ASARI landing with most of her head on one side of Tamura's face, putting both of them out of it, leading to Aja and Kyoko having to pick things up by going back and further. Tamura recovers enough to save Aja with a German suplex to set up an Aja uraken for a two before ASARI makes the save. Tamura takes out ASARI and Aja lands another uraken for the win. Not bad. The Skytwister bump was real evil. Kyoko's hair had a bit more blond in it than I'm used to seeing, so that took a bit of getting used to.

Pinfall Royal Rumble
This was a lot of clips. It started off with Takako Inoue and Kyoko Ichiki going at it. It's pretty much a lot of girls currently in the ring beat up the new girl when they show up. Miss Mongol shows up with her old look which had her wearinging a painted on mustache and beard. Not at all a good look for the at one point hottest women's wrestler in FMW (well, with Shark and Crusher as your competition, Perry Saturn would be the hottest woman in FMW....) This match has the goofy All Japan battle royal feel as everyone piles on to eliminate some one. The final four are Hikari Fukuoka, Mariko Yoshida, Miss Mongol and someone who I think is Ester Moreno in a mask. The Mask Moreno wins the match with top rope rana. Post match, a few of the other girls get in the ring and throw her up in the air a few times and then let her drop on her back on the mat.

Round 3 :
Bison Kimura/Yuki Li vs. Dynamite Kansai/Tomoko Kuzumi
Kuzumi is still feeling the beating she took at the feet of Maekawa as Kuzumi is still holding her face and pretty much is kneeling on the apron the entire match. Kansai faces a bunch of double teams early on and falls victim to a lot of Bison chops. Kansai kicks out of a Bison moonsault. Li and Bison lay her out on a flat on the mat table and moonsault her again for a two. Li tags in and dives into a roundhouse kick. She then gets kicked a few times by Dynamite before getting taken out with back drop suplex for the win. I imagine this was supposed to go longer, but given Kuzumi's condition, they went home with it quick. Post match, Bison went after Kansai some more.

Sonoko Kato/Toshiyo Yamada vs. Aja Kong/Yoshiko Tamura
The GAEA gals have shirts with caricaturizations of themselves on them. They're right after the marketing on this event. Team GAEA attacks at the bell, trying to double team Aja, who fights them off by herself fairly well, with Tamura saving her when she got in trouble. Yamada beats on Tamura after some token rookie offense (read :drop kicks) and tags out to Kato, who does the crazy thing and shoves Tamura to her corner to bring in Aja. I guess Sonoko didn't know that she'd be able to receiving beatings like the one she gets any time she wants now a days, maybe she wouldn't have pushed the issue had she known. Aja beats down Kato and gets a near fall with a backdrop suplex which Yamada saves. Kato gets the upperhand on Tamura with some kicks and a sleeper, avoiding an Aja clothesline from behind by ducking, sending Aja into a Yamada kick. Tamura escapes two reverse gory bombs, one with an Aja clothesline, the other with a German suplex. Team GAEA insures that I heart guy by doing the Veg-o-matic again. Tamura saves herself from death, as she reverses a whip allowing Kato to eat a Yamada kick. Tamura holds Kato for a Aja uraken, but eats it instead. Yamada holds off Aja in hopes of Kato putting Tamura a way, but Tamura hits a sunset flip out of a fireman's carry attempt by Kato to get the win and advance to the finals.

Dynamite Kansai/Tomoko Kuzumi vs. Aja Kong/Yoshiko Tamura
Tamura and Kuzumi end up starting out. Kuzumi still seems a little out of it, but they mix it up with drop kicks and forearms to each other back and forth. Aja gets the tag and slips Tamura as she comes in. Aja hits a corner lariat and a splash for a two before putting Kuzumi in a half crab. Kuzumi fights out so Aja puts the deep hurting on her leg with some kicks. Kuzumi catches Tamura with a surprise drop kick out of the corner and tags out to Kansai who puts Tamura in the scorpion before Kuzumi tags back in and puts her in a crab. Tamura gets put in holds a bit until she catches Kuzumi with an out of the corner sunset flip and tags to Aja who hits Kuzumi with an evil brainbuster. Kuzumi escapes a backdrop suplex attempt to tag to Kansai as Aja and Kansai lay into each other with elbows. Kansai tosses Aja out and teases a plancha, but Tamura breaks that up with a drop kick. Kuzumi puts Aja down with stomps and a top rope drop kick. Kansai sets Aja up so Kuzumi can hit a top rope double stomp. Aja manages to tag to Tamura who goes drop kick crazy. Kansai taggs in, Tamura goes drop kick crazy on her, but Kansai no sells them all, until Aja lariats her. Tamura with a two after a secon rope drop kick. Tamura tries the double wrist sault and hits it for a two. Aja assists Tamura with a top rope somersault senton for two. Aja hits a second rope splash for a two. Aja drops Kansai for a two with an uraken after Kansai ducks one. Aja with a falling elbow for two. Kansai escapes Aja's fall away slam move off the top rope and hits a Splash mountain for a two. Kansai kick to the face of Aja gets another two. Tamura saves Aja from a splash mountain with a second rope drop kick and Aja hits an uraken for a near 3. Tamura tags in but runs into a back drop suplex for a two. Kuzumi tags in and hits 3 underhook backbreakers for a two on Tamura. Top rope double stomp to the back gets her another two. Kuzumi goes for a suplex, but Aja hits a back drop for a two. Tamura tries for a top rope rolling senton and misses. They sort of blow a spot where Kansai is supposed to kick Tamura in the face during a roll up attempt. Aja saves Tamura after a Kuzumi double arm suplex into a bridge. JWP gals thrown outside and Aja hits the Black Sunday Plancha. Aja superplexes Tamura onto Kuzumi, but Kansai saves the pin. They go for the "you hold them for the uraken spot", but Tamura eats it again. Kansai gets rid of Aja and Kuzumi its a top rope splash for the win. Not bad. The JWP team wins the tournament.

All and all, a pretty enjoyable card. There was the V*TOP tournament in here too, but I'm not to big on shoot fighting so... you'll just have to watch that yourself.

!@!@!@!@!@!@! BATTLARTS BATTLE STATION (10/23/98)
(by PHIL SCHNEIDER!)
Naorihiro Hoshikawa/ Masato Yakushiji vs. Minoru Fujita/Ikuto Hidaka
This was a fun little match with the Rising Sun Rock and Roll Express Fujita and Hidaka providing a bunch of double teams and spunkyness. Fujita and Hidaka don't really work BattlARTS style as they are more the scrawny tiny flying juniors (Yakushiji is actually half a head taller and about 40 pounds heavier then Hidaka). The double teams were pretty choice- opening up with a swank double tope, with one of the little guys (Fujita maybe?) diving into the chairs. Yakushiji didn't blow everything like he is wont to do, and him and Hosh hit the Cooly High missle dropkick into a German suplex. They clipped this a bunch so they might have excised the bad parts.

Minoru Tanaka vs. Katsumi Usuda
Usuda has usurped Daisuke Ikeda as my Battlearts favorite- he kicks as hard as anyone, is kingsized on the mat, and has that Taue-level stoicism which just warms my heart. Minoru Tanaka is probably the best all around wrestler in BA with stiff kicks, matwork, occasional highspots and neckbreaking suplexes. This was the match of the show with both guys pummeling each other, with the insanely great Usuda uraken elbowsmash, the Christoper Reeves-level Dragon Suplex by Tanaka, and a whole parcel of kicks right in the face. Tanaka wins with the nasty looking cross armbreaker after the Dragon suplex from hell. They clipped the heck out of this match too, which sucks because it had that special look about it.

Naorihiro Hoshikawa vs. Maasaki Mochizuki
Perennial Wrestling and Romance standout and Koji Kitao disciple- Maasaki Mochizuki- and the last survivor of Michinoku Pro- Naorihiro Hoshikawa- kick each other square in the face a whole part and parcel here in this one. This match was clipped even more viciously then the previous two, but you get the jist of it pretty good. Mochizuki is pretty darn good at professional wrestling. The end sets up the Hoshikawa vs Tanaka match which is discussed down below a bit.

Yuki Ishikawa/Bob Backlund vs. Alexander Otsuka/Hitsakatsu Ooya
You know, having not seen much Backlund outside of his WWF crazy guy stint, I always thought he was sort of a less flashy more mat based Dean Malenko, but watching him here in Battlearts I realize he is actually pretty much the worlds goofiest wrestler. Doing the duck walk, selling like Terry Funk on psilociben mushrooms, and making really silly faces. This match was very 70's style with lots of pro-style mat wrestling, there were a couple of neat things like Otsuka and Backlund falling to the floor and mat wrestling on the floor. This thing was two out of three falls, and reeealy long, and can be skipped quite easily

Hitsikatsu Ooya vs. Greg Valentine
This had feces written all over it, but it turned out to be the best first round match. Valentine knew he only had to wrestle 7 minutes and got all fired up working pretty stiff with Ooya and dropping some nasty elbows- basically beating Ooya like he was the WWF hack that thought up the Rhythem and Blues tag team. Ooya is nice to Grampa Valentine and wins with a roll up and not with his usual neckbreaking suplex. Surprisingly very okay.

Daisuke Ikeada vs. Bob Backlund
This continues the Be Nice To The Elderly tone of the last show (which culminates in the 8888 show with Otsuka and Yone jobbing to OLD) as Daisuke mat wrestles Bob instead of kicking him the mouth. Not bad although Backlund seemed lost when Ikeda diverged into shoot style mat work (not a lot of cross armbreakers in NCAA competition). They did the neat keylock spot where Backlund did the deadlift out of the keylock, and the did a neat thing at the end where Backlund reversed Ikeda's chickenwing crossface into one of his own for the win. Pretty good but not great, Ikeda without the asskicking just doesn't do it for me.

Viktor Kruger vs. SASUKE
Oooh this ain't good at all. Kruger is kind of like Wrath without the athleticism and SASUKE isn't afraid to DOG IT. They try to have a Battlearts match at the beginning but both suck at shooto mat work so it looks really cumbersome and bad. Then CRAZY MAX interfered and I wished I was watching them wrestle instead of these two. Kruger takes over on offense with his fascinating repetoire of axehandle variations, then SUCKSUKE cheats some more and wins with a really sloppy springboard rana. Then Viktor beats up CRAZY MAX like an even more suckass Paul Wight. Ugh. Not for the weak at heart.

Yuki Ishikawa vs. Mitsuhara Matsunaga
Matsunaga has a legit karate backround, and even got slaughtered in some legit fight at a Japaneese shooto event, so in theory he could wrestle a sort of credible shoot style match. Matsunaga is quite an innovative wrestler and it might have been interesting see him try to wrestle Battlearts style. But Ishikawa continues his Inoki hero worship , by having his tribute to those awful Inoki v. Tiger Jeet Singh matches, as Matsunaga stabs Ishikawa with a fork in the arm, and the head and hits him with a sword. Nothing match with Ishikawa bleeding and getting the win with a crappy octopus. Matsunaga does nothing that I couldn't do (except one axe kick), no big bumps, no karate exchanges, just fork, fork, fork. Yuck nothing anyone would ever want to see and I blame Yuki.

%^%^%^%^% AAA- AUG/ SEPT 1996 (Part 2 of 2)
(by PHIL RIPPA)
Chris Jericho vs. Apolo Dantes
This match rules once it gets going. The beginning is a little slow as the first caida is very mat based which sometimes rules but not really that much in this match. Jericho takes the fall by connecting with a Tiger Driver. The second caida is all about Dantes being a rudo's rudo as he works over Jericho. You get something you normally don't see- Lucha stiffness as Dantes plants his foot into the small of Jericho's back, punches him in the nose and drapes him foot against his throat. There's something you don't see everyday. Jericho tries to stop the momentum by using his quickness but gets caught in the top rope as Dantes hits a Superplex and follows it up with a Senton for the caida. The third caida is were this match earns its stripes. Jericho rattles off all the highspots he knows- as he hits the Lionsault, a superfly splash that covered 3/4 of the ring and the running corner plancha thing he does. Jericho also takes the bump of the night by flying about 10 feet on a suplex to the floor. Dantes follows it up with a tope that knocks Jericho halfway up the aisle and really gets the crowd going. Come On Baby!! They tease a double countout after the tope but both men beat the count at about 9 15/16. Dantes finally gets things going his way by grounding the last survivor of the Hart family dungeon. He splatters Jericho with a monstrous powerbomb. Which leads perfectly into a Northern Lights suplex that gets Dantes the win. The third caida was done just the way it should have been. The match would have ruled even more with some substance in the first two caidas.

Silver King vs. Miquel Perez Jr.:
Hey! it's Miquel Perez Jr.- the man that both the WCW and WWF managed to misuse. What a fucking surprise. (Perez still did have the best two minute match in the history of Nitro when and Juventud rocked the house.) Anyway, Silver King and Perez have a nice little feud going at the time. Including the six man I watched a little earlier where Perez faked a foul to piss me off. It is really weird seeing Silver King as the super happy technico. And man is his hair bad. The first caida is really good as Silver King works at about warp factor 9 and the armdrag sequence is to die for. Perez gets the crowd good and angry so when Silver King posts him twice they are all for that. Perez shows his Puerto Rican wrestling roots by opening up a vein in his forehead (well actually Ricky Santana bladed him but either way it is a nice little cut). The bloody and woozy Perez can't defended himself as the King hits the missile dropkick and the spinning DDT to close the book on caida number one. The second caida is quick as Silver King goes for the quick win and attempts another missile dropkick. Perez sidesteps him, hits a spinning senton and the cartwheel moonsault thingy he does and we move onto the third caida. (By now, Perez has this cool Phantom of the Opera thing going as blood has covered the left side of his face.) Silver King shows everyone why he rules by doing EVERYTHING in the final caida as Perez gets just a tad bit winded. The King almost dies as he does a Spinning Tope Con Hilo that would have overshot Perez by two feet if Perez, the pro that he is, didn't reach up and pull him down. Silver King breaks off a Plancha and the quick dropkick just for an added bonus. Silver King gets a couple of two counts the last coming off a rana. When he goes for a piledriver, Perez rolls him up and gets the three in a finish that came out of nowhere. Not complaining about the ending, it just caught me off guard which is not that hard to do. You want to see these two matches.

@#@#@#@#@# BATTLARTS BATTLE STATION on SAMURAI (8/9/98)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
Diasuke Ikeda vs Mohammed Yone
This is good but Yone isn't my favorite and this doesn't get to that special place- that warm wonderful place- that place where Ikeda beats the living fuck out of someone. This was a more methodical dissection of the august pseudoshooter called Yone. It was waaay too many single shots to the head/an eight count/ a single kick/ an eightcount and on and on. This does have it's moments where Yone is feeling it and kicks hard enough to deserve to be in the ring with the Great Ass Kicker Diasuke Ikeda. I dunno. They do some cool stuff on the mat though it gets a bit lethargic by the end as they get worn down and the submission attempts look sloppy- though they bring it back together by Yone kicking his way back into the match after a big chokeout attempts by Ikeda. There is one point after the first eight count where Ikeda really starts beating his ass- as he starts off by kicking him in the stomach and then droppibng a knee to the head. Then the cavalcade of 8 counts kick in and the law of diminishing returns to the finish is in full effect- so this is good and is better than most Mohammed Yone matches and Ikeda carries the match- but I want more stiffness and things could have been sharper. I still thought this was fine BattlARTS wrestling. Just not very BattlARTS transcendent.

Katsumi Usuda vs. Katsugi Takamura
Schneider hates the hell out of Takamura but Usuda drags a bunch of goodness out of him. This match may be the one that proves Usuda is the funnest, most stoic Hinder Kicker in BattlARTS as he makes Takamura look really good by selling his elbows like a KING and taking two SWANK Neck-Splattering German Suplexes from the young rookie punk. Usuda is the king of the mat in this and the king of kicking Takamura right in the face so this is all a good little eight minutes of quasi-shootstyle grappling.

Carl Greco vs. Ryuji Yamakawa
HEY! The first freaky BattlARTS match of the night. Carl Greco has never held my interest for long but this was a cool weird-ass stylistic mutation as Greco sells and counters Yamakawa's pro style moves as if they are actual legitimate holds and it was REAL weird to see what kind of shoot counter he could come up with for the headlock, the halfcrab, assorted Pat O'Conner Pressure Holds, etc. Then they do this cool Shootstyle Garbage brawl where Greco busts out some US Pro-style bumps to totally make this a match that worked SOLELY on the weirdness brought to it by Greco. Eh, what the fudge, this was good.

Minoru Tanaka vs. Victor Krueger
At first I thought, "GODDDANGIT! Me and Schneider make the DEAL to switch off BattlARTS BattleStations and I get THIS as one of my only two Minoru Tanaka matches!" But this is actually pretty good, just because Minoru Tanaka can make himself look credible all the while selling like Victor Krueger is the second coming of Bruiser Brodie (don't worry. He ain't.) Krueger does Monster move after Monster move until Minoru struggles to get him in an ankle lock that brings him back down to BattlARTS matworld and thus Tanaka can work for a submission. The finish is the best example of how cool Minoru made this match- when he counters out of a reverse into the corner, jumps on the second rope and spins into a cross-armbreaker. Minoru isn't afraid to put the ARTS in BattlARTS. Kreuger continues to not turn my stomach and seems to have a future somewhere when he returns to the States. Minoru Tanaka is one of the best Juniors in the world. Take THAT to the bank.

Yuki Ishikawa/Ikeda vs Otsuka/Yone
There are certain matches that epitomize what I love in professional wrestling. I love when old Luchadores take it to the mat and do things that make such perfect sense in the confines of Lucha Libre and they can convey that it makes sense- eventhough it wouldn't make sense in any other setting. I love an old tough as hell Old School Tope where the MAN who takes the tope flies backwards into fixed seats and makes it look like he did not survive. I love an expressive headscissors and an expressive, creative armdrag. I love in Lucha that the basic premise of the style is that young flashy guys are supposed to go all out and set standards of speed, grace and beauty and that the older luchadores are supposed to show them how to work a match over time by selling their offense to excite the crowd and then instill the psychology to keep the crowd hot between highspots. In the US, I love a match with stiffness and big bumps and careful, measured selling that builds to a hot finish where one wrestler gets his finisher in and ends the match. I love the way Chris Benoit took the US style and perfected it by not only using the hot moves from Japan but from what he learned in ECW- how to get Americans to love him. ECW taught him that the US fan- deep in his or her heart- REALLY loves somebody who shows NO DAYLIGHT, who beats the hell out of people and who keep the excitement level high without burning the crowd out. He mixed this with the New Japan idea of telling a simple, effective, taut story in the ring and to execute each aspect of the match with explosiveness and passion. That makes him the best heavyweight in North America. He's created a better mutation of an old style and everyone with half a brain is trying to catch up to him or wants to be in the ring with him. When it comes to Japanese wrestling, THIS match is another a series that BattlARTS has offered up that I think is a good representation of what I look for in pro wrestling- the hard as hell BattlARTS style- better matwork that All Japan; more lively, honest and fun than RINGS; expotentially stiffer than Michinoku Pro; more disciplined in its selling philosophy than New Japan. BattlARTS may be the most custom made promotion to appeal to my sensibilities and this match delivers the goods. Otsuka sprinkles the goofier Pro-Style stuff (Giant Swing, Frankensteiner) but separates them with fucking World Class Spinescrushing suplexes. Ikeda fights out by kicking him right in the mouth and blowing the needle off the stiffness charts. Ishikawa does his best Tatsumi Fujinami impersonation as always but Ikeda is the partner he needs because he has no Pro Style affectations like Ishikawa and will always drag the match right back down to the hard earth of BattlARTS. Yone is there to sell the Ikeda beating and try to look credible. Otsuka plays it smart since Yone will never look credible with his kicks being as loose as they are- especially against a World Class Ass-stomper like Ikeda, so Otsuka makes the saves as hurty as possible- the best being where he hits a Urange on Ishikawa that would have killed the Rock dead as hell, crushing Ishikawa's spinal column like a bug. The logical conclusion is that sooner or later the older, meaner veterans will corner Yone where Otsuka can't save him and kill him dead- so Ikeda finally isolates Yone and KILLS THE HELL OUT OF HIM with Satan's Lariat and- golly- I'm REALLY spent. YOU WANT ALL THIS.

Katsumi Usuda vs. (or is it Seichi?) Yamakawa
I forgot to mention in the Greco match that Yamakawa has changed his look again. He was last seen wearing the stylish Shima Nobunaga tassles and attempting to be the Puroresu Scotty Riggs. Before that, he was trying to be Cactus Jack's REALLY psychotic brother. Now he seems to be trying to get all of Gedo's ringrat leftovers- what with the bleached blond hair and the classy leather pants. Cosmetic fetishism aside, this match is FUGGIN GREAT. Usuda starts by schooling the Most US Pro Style Wrestler In Japan on the mat. Yamakawa says, "Enough of this mat shit" and Rochambeaus the hell out of Usuda and starts kicking the hell out of the MASTER OF THE STOICOIS. Unfortunately for Yamakawa, after a comical attempt at the Mount Position, Usuda reverses out of it and they assume the deadly standing position where Usuda FUCKING CRUSHES YamakawaÕs skull with a PHAT ASS kick to the head. Yamakawa is all loopy and makes it to the ropes. Yamakawa escapes a rear choke and decides HEY! LET'S GO GARBAGE and throws Usuda to the floor where Usuda flies into the chairs and twice into the Ringpost. After Usuda crawls to ring, Yamakawa finds a barbed wire halo but the ref tries to stop him, which sets Usuda crushing the distracted Yamakawa's abdomen with a kick- putting the barbed wire back into play. (This is the Greatest Moment In Sports History) USUDA WRAPS THE BARBED WIRE AROUND HIS RIGHT LEG AND STARTS KICKING YAMAKAWA INTO SO MUCH BIG JAPAN BRAND COLE SLAW. Yamakawa is still the same totally crazy motherfucker you remember him to be- because he takes frickin Usuda punting him right in the face with Usuda's leg wrapped in Barbed wire. BattlARTS is the fucking coolest promotion in the world. This was about as hardcore as you get. And it is all done with such minimal props. Talk about a frickin Triumph of the Will. The GroundBeef that Used to Yamakawa gets back in the ring and actually hits a Lariat that Yamakawa sells like Yamakawa is a frickin Buick. After Usuda makes it back to his feet after a eight count, he really beats the living shit out of Yamakawa- hitting two of the nastiest kicks I've ever seen. This was a fucking postmodern Masterpiece.

Yuki Ishikawa vs Alexander Otsuka:
This starts with a mat sequence as cool and freaky as Dos Caras vs Villano III on crystal meth. It goes from there to Otsuka hitting a totally PHAT ASS Shocker Tope. Welcome to BattlARTS. Otsuka whips out his nastiest suplexes and Ishikawa takesem like a KING. Ishikawa hits a key lock out of a Backdrop to initiate his offensive transition and hits acouple of midgrade suplex and here comes the Octapus Hold. Otsuka counters it into an eventual STF. Otsuka hits two super PHAT Dragon Suplexes and Whip Ass Released Tiger Suplex. Ishikawa makes it to his feet and wrangles Otsuka into a Sleeper and there you have it. Ishikawa took too much of a big ass beating to win this, but I guess he earned the less than credible win. GOLLY. GET ALL THIS.

!@!@!@!@!@!@!BATTLARTS BATTLE STATION on Samurai TV August 9th (taped 7-25, 8-2)
(by PHIL SCHNEIDER)
Alexander Otsuka vs. Katsumi Usuda
Otsuka is one of the most inconsistent wrestlers in the world, you put him in a match with a man like Usuda or Ikeda and it will really, really rule. Put him in with a world class shootfighter like Marco Ruas and he will beat his ass, put him in with a bad wrestler like Yone Genjin and it will be a trip to a vomitorium. We got a little from column A and little from column B on this tape. This match right here was one of the best Battlearts singles matches I have ever seen. They start out with a super fast shootstyle mat section. Usuda who I had previously noticed mostly for his kicks, shows he can hang on the mat with a worldclass mat wrestler like Otsuka. Then they do the stand up section with Usuda using his kicks and Otsuka trying for suplexes. He hits the big German Suplex, but Usuda counters the Dragon Suplex, with a back kick right on the knee. Now Usuda smells the blood in the water and goes after Otsuka's leg with a bunch of super stiff kicks, along with a bunch of knockout kicks to the head, Otsuka tries to counter with some suplexes, but Usuda keeps on the knee. He finally slaps on a nasty kneebar keylock thingy, but Otsuka is able to grab his arm and slap on a cross armbreaker for the flash submission. Really great match build, as it made Usuda look really strong even though he lost. The flash crossarmbreaker kind of served like a shootstyle Ricky Steamboat roll up, a flash ending which really works within the confines of the style.

Masao Orihara vs. Takeshi Ono
Ono is the scrawny asskicker with the poofed out white boy 70's fro, Orihara is the scrawny highflyer who is currently sporting the flattened turquoise mohawk. Together they are know to fans of the Death Valley Driver as BAD HAIR DAY. Here they battle it out for tonsorial superiority. Orihara is sort of a shitty wrestler in general, and is a real shitty mat wrestler so Ono wrestles sort of a WAR undercard juniors match, with a bunch of midgrade highspots, a dueling foul motif, and one Takeshi Ono punch right to the face. Takeshi does a lot of TAKAapeing with a lot of springboards. Orihara gets the win with a lucha submission hold, which blows the whole style completely out the window. Still kind of okay although not really a BattlARTS match.

Alexander Otsuka vs. Katsuji Takemura
This match had the bad Otsuka in full bloom. Takemura is a rookie, I guess, who does a lot of elbows and isn't very good, and the veteran Otsuka had no idea what to do with him. This match had Otsuka doing a bunch of 70's suplexes, and sloppily executed Tiger Mask feigns; it had dueling airplane spins (suckass Takemura couldn't even get a full revolution, if you are going to do a crappy move like a airplane spin, at least pull it off). Otsuka wins with a sleeper. This simultaneously sucked and blew.

Masao Orihara vs. Mohammed Yone
The downward spiral continues, as these two lock up in sort of a bad Super Nova v. Chris Chetti ECW match, lots of out of nowhere highspots and preposterous uses of chairs and crap. Yone is a big bunch of nothing when he isn't getting kicked in the face by Daisuke Ikeda, and Orihara is such an inconsistent mess- so much so that if you stick them in a ring together, give them some chairs and a bell, youÕll get this momentous clusterfuck.

Daisuke Ikeda vs. Takeshi Ono
Up until this batch of BattlARTS these were my two favorite Battlartisans, so when I saw them squared off, I busted out my checkbook and used my hard earn dollars to purchase a copy from Mr. Jeff Lynch. Imagine my dismay, when instead of 18 minutes of two guys kicking the shit out of each other, I get a 5:40 Takeshi Ono squash with a W*ING Kanemura/ Go Itoh run-in. Ikeda got in like one kick, Takeshi laid in a beating but it didn't wash the Sports Entertainment taste out of my mouth. Bleech.

^%^%^%^% BATTLARTS! BATTLESTATION- 12/14/98 from 11/23/98 (8/88/88)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
TAKA Michinoku/Shoichi Funaki vs. Minoru Fujita/ Hidaka
This was pretty beautiful. TAKA and Shoichi Funaki come full circle- having started out as an interpromotional tagteam back when BattlARTS was miniscule- and now, at the promotions biggest show, they get to school the young Rock and Roll Express Dos Mille. This was really cool as Hidaka and Fujita do every possible Southern Double team they can muster. TAKA decides to go suplex crazy and remembers how to do that Springboard Plancha that look so fucking cool but the WWF's ropes sucked too much for him to ever get right while he was being wasted over here. This is SO not anything to do with a usual BattlARTS match- as this was all Michinoku Pro until Funaki starts whipping out the submissions at the end. That was the difference back when TAKA first started tagging with Funaki way back when- they would have these total shootstyle tag matches and it was cool to see TAKA just take it to the mat for a couple of matches. Of course after the miserable experience in Sports Entertainmentland, I'll settle for the simple return to form and this was a good return to form. TAKA was feeling it in this and this ruled. Fujita and Hidaka are gonna be a good little tag team as they have a vast amount of Face Tagteam Version Counter To CRAZY MAX feel to them and I was digging it. But not very pseudoshoot at all.

Hoshikawa vs. Minoru Tanaka
These guys aren't strangers to each other and both are the Shining Young Hope of Their Prospective Promotions (actually Hoshikawa bolted with Delfin I think, but you know what I mean). Hoshikawa does a tope into the soundboard- which was a new one to me. From there this becomes a really great match. Tanaka adds to his freaked-out Pro-Style to Shootstyle combo moves by first busting out the Northern Lights Suplex Into a Cross-Armbreaker and then later whips out the Dragon Suplex into A Full-Nelson Bridge Pinning Predicament into The Fujiwara Armbar Reversed Into a Cross-Armbreaker which was just SWANKY as all hell. Hoshikawa ADDS to that by powering between Tanaka's legs to procure the kneebar and Tanaka makes the ropes. Hoshikawa hits three DDTS for an eight count and then they just start kicking the shit out of each other and it's truly great. Hosh hits a toprope spinkick that Minoru takes like a KING and the beginning of the end starts as Tanaka is finally beaten to the point where Tanaka can get off an ultraNASTY Released Toprope Northern Lights Suplex and Hosh then suplexes the corpse and gets the pin. This was pretty fucking great.

Diasuke Ikeda vs. Katsumi Usuda
This was the match I was most excited about seeing- since these are two of the best ass kickers around and I was assuming that they would kill the living crud out of each other. This was damn good if a little short and marred by a beginning with too many eight counts. When it kicks in, there is a whole lot of violence involved as they do the stiffest closerange punches you'll see to set up counters in a few of the sweeter passages of this match. Usuda does a big fat kick to the face of Ikeda as Ikeda is jumping off the toprope in the TRUE highlight of my wrestling viewing life. Ikeda procures a couple of Submissions attempts to get Usuda in position for three of Satan's Meanest And Hurtiest Lariats and Usuda is ready for the last rites. If this was longer, I'd have been happier but this was pretty great for eleven minutes of Ass-stomping fun.

Road Warriors vs. Alexander Otsuka/Yone
This was horrible. The Road Warriors aren't very good. 88888888888888!

Yuki Ishikawa vs. Bob Backlund
The best part of this match is that Bachlund breaks Crazy Bachlund kayfabe to solemnly stare at the flag during the national anthem- which was a compelling little batch of TV that made me proud to be an American. Then Wacky Bob kicks in and then where are we. Actually, it takes us to Madison Square Garden in 1978 as this is quite the Anachronistic little match. They did the whole continuous pinfalls out of the headlock on the ground like Nelson Royal and Paul Jones would do back in the day. The MAJOR flaw of the match is that Ishikawa uses an Indian Deathlock with a later optional backbridge into the Mutah facelock and Backlund should have had a Harley Race Flashback and submitted. It's funny to watch Ishikawa try to not do any shootstyle submissions since he realizes how basically clueless Bachlund is- but overall this was interesting until it flew out of control, Bachlund blows up and Ishikawa does a Figure Four Arm Scissors for thirty nine or so minutes. That's beauty of BattlARTS though. Whereas other folks are all worried about makeing other styles look bad and not legitimate compared to their own, BattlARTS is hung like a bear and is comfortable with it's style and has no insecurities about how their style compares to others, so all other styles are welcomed in the BattlARTS ring. It's ART, baby. Groove to it.

NEXT WEEK: J'd BONANZA! NEW JAPAN OGAWA/HASH RIOT! MICHINOKU PRO AND TONS OF IT! Swwweeeeeeeettt GAEA! ALL JAPAN, single going steady AND OTHER GLENNISH INTENSIVE THINGS!!

The DEATH VALLEY PLAYAZ.

"When I get into that city- people gonna stoop and bow- All them women gonna make me- teach'em what they don't know how- oh I'm going to Jackson."
- Johnny Cash, the Original Hardcore Motherfucker.