WELCOME TO DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #85!

THE DEALS THAT WERE MADE: Rev Ray and I had to decide who was gonna review what from the FAT ASS batch of Indie, NPW-esque stuff from Minnesota that King Of Men Tracy Thom sent in to the DVDVR Corporate headquarters- I opted for the Buck Zhumoff intensive SECTION as a prep for the mountains of AWA that will be forthcoming. REVRAY goes at the other two in this here DVDVR and I'll contend with the beauty of Minnesota Indie WRESTLING next time round. Naimark continues his journey to the darkest side of shootstyle and the Ripper was all afraid of the LLPW this time around. Schneider was at a bridge tourney in Orlando but he got in the beginning of all that NJ analysis from the beloved Glenn Tapes. Speaking of the youngster who made Charles Goren weep the bitter tears of defeat....

!@!@!@ NEW JAPAN TV- 10/10/98 (taped 9/23 from Yokohama)
(by PHIL SCHNEIDER)
Brian Johnson/ Don Frye vs Kauzo Yamazaki/ Kensuke Sasaki
I love Don Frye, sure he is involved in the stupid, insanely over booked UFO angle (Last week on UFO is OFU, Fujita is depressed about losing his challenge match to Orlando Weit and he threatens to commit Hari Kari) and sure he isn't that good of a worker but he is just such a dick, he gets about the most legitimate heel heat I have ever seen, gives classic interviews and can really kick everyoneÕs Ass. Despite the greatness that is Frye this match kind of stunk. Brian Johnson looks like a shootstyle Uncle Fester and his singlet and gi pants look like a wife beater and acid washed jeans, his kicks suck and he is so plodding he makes Tachichikari look like Dragon Kid. I don't hate Sasaki like a lot of people do, but he wasn't worth much in this match, although he did hit a cool deadlift powerbomb out of a cross armbreaker. Yamazaki was just there. They did have the surly Don Frye pull apart brawl after the match, no cursing interview though.

Black Tiger/ Chris Jericho vs Shinjiro Ohtani/ Testuhito Takiawa
This was pretty beautiful, all four guys were feeling it and Jericho and Eddie were working together really well, hitting the somersualt senton Demoltion backbreaker, and the Gringos Locos superplex/frog splash combo. Ohtani responded to that coolness by busting out the super stiff springboard dropkick and the world beating rotation powerbomb. Takiawa stayed out of the way and didn't Choshu the thing to death, the only flaw in this baby was Ohtani selling the Liontamer like a chin lock, but I guess no one cued him in to the fact it was Jericho's finisher. It was real nice to see Eddie and Chris get a chance to flow for a while with world class workers.

Scott Norton vs Yuji Nagata
Bleeeeurp, that is the sound of my vomit hitting the floor. This was the worst IWGP title match I have ever seen. Norton must be a member of the X-Men or something as normal wrestling has no effect on him. Nagata kicks him in the head, nothing, Nagata back suplexes him Norton gets up and screams, triangle choke must have been like a slightly tight necktie because it didn't effect Scotty. Boy, Norton really revealed all of the Secrets of Professional Wrestling, what a no-sellling roided out sack of shit. Nagata should go back to WCW, at least Glacier sold his offense before he beat him. Norton has now moved past Shat Ernest Miller to NUMBER 1 on my Wrestlers I Hate list. FUCK YOU SCOTT, SHOOT SHINYA SHOOT!!

#$#$#$#$#$#$# GAEA G-Panic! #12 (10/5/98)
(by REV RAY DUFFY)
We're joined in the studio by Meiko Satomura who's hair has grown out so it doesn't look as odd as it did a few shows ago.

AAAW Tag Title Match- Sugar Sato/Chikako Nagashima vs Aja Kong/Mayumi Ozaki
For those of you not up on your GAEA background, here's a little review. Sato and Nagashima are part of Ozaki's OZ Academy heel group in GAEA. Ozaki brought in Aja after her previous old cranky woman of wrestling, Akira Hokuto got pregnant (and recently had her son, so hopefully we'll see her again. After all, retirements in wrestling aren't definite until the person's buried in the cold, cold ground. I'll believe Hogan useless ass is out of wrestling the day he's buried.) Aja and Oz won a tournament to face the Oz-ites for the tag titles. Sugar is in control early, but blows a spot where she jumps off the top rope, catches Aja's leg and hits a Dragonscrew, so Aja sets it up while they're both standing on the mat. The young spunky punkettes beat on Aja with some double teams including an assisted somersault double stomp by Nagashima that had to suck to no end to take. Oz saves her partner. Aja gives Nagashima a backdrop driver for a two and tags Oz. Oz ends up getting oil canned by Aja by mistake allowing Nagashima to hit a Fisherman Buster for two. Sugar tried to powerbomb her partner onto Oz, but Oz rolls away and powerbombs Nagashima on the back of her neck in a most henious way. Sugar runs in, gets canned by Aja. Aja superplexes Oz onto Sugar. Oz goes for her Tequila Sunrise, Nagashima saves her partner with a Release German. Oz recovers, she goes for it again, Sugar breaks and teases a TS of her own, Aja goes for the save and Urakens Oz in the back of the head, letting Sugar hit Lygerbomb for 2 as Aja makes the save. Nagashima holds Aja so Sugar can take her out with some so so urakens. Aja gets sent outside and Nagashima ends up killing herself with a Tope Suicida when her feet get caught on the ropes. With Nagashima dead on the floor and Aja standing on her, Oz puts away her copy cat protege with the Tequila Sunrise to win the titles. Post match, Aja looks like she's sucking it in so the belt will fit. There's also the great pose where Aja holds Oz in her arms like she was a body builder and Oz was her 100 pound bikini girlfriend at the beach. Write your own jokes here folks, but it was a great picture I'm sure. Good match, with Sugar and Nagashima being all spunky and Aja and Oz not being afraid to sell for them.

AAAW Title match- Devil Masami vs Chigusa Nagoya
Devil's right shoulder is all taped up. Devil uses powermoves, Chigusa uses her kicks. Devil starts working for a sleeper, Chigusa fights for a piledriver, which she gets on her second attempt. Devil Dragonscrews out of a Nagoya kick and goes lariat crazy. They end up out on the apron with Chigusa getting control with some lariats, laying Devil across the buckles and ax kicking her. Chigusa with a running powerbomb for two, then a Death Valley Driver for two. Top rope elbow for 2 until Devil rolls through it into a sleeper. Devil lets go, hits some kicks and enzu-lariats Chigusa out to the apron. Devil hits a top rope overhead belly to belly which Chigusa no sells, but walks right into a Somoan drop. Devil hits a Rolling Senton off the top, though the announcers were calling for a rolling leg drop, so I don't know if it was a blown move or not. Devil with a DVD for two. Devil goes for a Tigerdriver, but Chigusa flips out of it and slaps on a sleeper for the win and the title.

Sonoko Kato vs Meiko Satomura
Kato and Satomura are usually tag partners, but for some reason unknown to me because I don't speech Japanese and I haven't seen a post by the guy who translates everything from GAEA tv into English for this show, they've had a falling out. Kato jumps Satomura right at the bell with a German suplex, throws her outside and hits a springboard rolling senton to the floor and the action is on. This is pretty damn sweet because both girls are damn good. There's lots of counters to each other's signature moves since they know each other so well. Satomura does a Pele' impression and whacks Kato with a bicycle kick to her shoulder. They trade kicks, then take it to the mat. Satomura starts working on Kato's legs. The tape jumps ahead to the 10 minute mark, Satomura knocks Kato off the top to to the floor and hits her Windmillin' Elbow off the apron. Satomura works for a top rope move, but Kato keeps fighting her, resulting in Satomura pulling out The Claw which- for some unknown reason- is getting a resurgence in Japan. Satomura works the legs, goes for the cross armbreaker, but Kato counters it into a pinfall attempt. Kato goes for a running powerbomb, but Meiko knows to counter it. They run through about 4 or 5 of their signature spots, all of which get countered until Satomura comes up with a wakigatime. Jump ahead to the 18 minute mark, Kato in control sends Satomura to the floor and drops 2 leg drops and a double stomp off the apron until Satomura recovers and uses an armscissor take down from the apron to the floor into a cross armbreaker which the ref has to break up. Satomura gets caught up top into Kato's second rope somersault fallaway slam. Kato with a rolling senton for two. Satomura blocks out of Kato's Dragon Suplex attempts and in an exchange comes up with a cross armbreaker variation which Kato rope saves out of. Satomura runs into a high roundhouse kick and gets Dragon Suplexed for two. They fight back and forth with both being exhausted and not really being able to press an advantage. Kato runs into a DVD. Satomura works her over with elbows. Kato falls down after getting whipped to the ropes. Satomura seems to be in control for the most part, even though both are really hurting. After beating the crap out of each other, the match ends in a 30 minute time limit draw and both girls shake hands while down on the match. Definitely a whole lot of coolness with lots of counters and lots of cool moves.

Bad Nurse Nakamura vs Meiko Satomura
Rie Nakamura's back in her heel personality, chewing on a picture of Satomura as she comes to the ring. Apparently, Satomura's head's in season, so Nakamura decides to tenderize it a bit with a fork. Satomura's head is finger lickin' good and Nakamura loves the taste. Nakamura acts all mysterious... or stoned... one of those. Satomura steals Nakamura's Kendo stick and uses it on her. This is pretty much Bad Nurse using objects, with Satomura occassionally coming up with holds to counter before Bad Nurse busts her up with a weapon. Nakamura spits mist twice in the match and gets the win the a cross arm breaker... I guess it keeps Nakamura over as a threat in the division even though I think beating up like this is more fitting for someone like say... Matsumoto. Or Tanny Mouse, that's it, they can bring in Tanny Mouse to take garbage league beatings like this.

Clips of Bad Nurse beating Sakura Hirota (who's wearing an outfit which looks like it belongs on a two year old girl at the kiddie pool) and Chikako Nagashima play before Sonoko Kato stops the madness and the Bad Nurse winning streak with a Dragon suplex.

I am now in the proud possession of a Suzanne Sommers "Buttmaster" commercial in Japanese. And it can tighten the chest. I am the luckiest boy in the world. Ok, I'm the sad, sad man.

Meiko Satomura vs Manascreami Toyota
You know, if I had my way, the "my offense has yet to evolve due to the fact that I really shouldn't be doing so much aerial offense anymore" Toyota would be putting over the young and impressive Satomura. But I don't have my way. Satomura gets Toyota in a cross armbreaker which the great(ly overrated) Toyota seems to sell like she's in a side headlock. Satomura hits a windmillin' elbow off the post to the floor on Toyota. Toyota doesn't seem to want to sell a whole lot in this and she uses a Rolling Cradle so she burns up a bunch of what little love I have for her in this. Satomura counters an Ocean Cyclone Suplex attempt into a DVD. Toyota eventually hits the Ocean Cyclone for the win.

Clips of Nagashima/Sato vs. Nagoya/Hirota where Chigusa gets lygerbombed by Sato, but turns it into a cross armbreaker for the win. Hirota v. Ozaki where Hirota uses the "Look! A baby wolf!" trick to sucess. Hirota hits a Tequila Sunrise, which Oz kicks out of. Oz wins with one of her own.

Overall, a pretty cool 2 hours. I always look forward to GAEA and the Kato/Satomura and the tag title match delievered the goods.

!@!@!@!@!@ MICHINOKU LUCHA TV #13
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
TEAM SASUKE hasn't hit the Glenn tapes yet so this is gonna be quite mixed bag as MP has been all year. As usual, the swankiest thing is the Lucha that Hamada serves up from CMLL, as they do a Show Within A Show as they got the CMLL in Japan in 1998 and WE GET TO WATCH! WOO-HOO! (The whole Magilla kicks off with the Relay Runner Guy having a fifty-eight minute match against the Transvestite Guy! THATÕS RIGHT, FELLAS! Become one with the Fast Forward, my child...)

Gran Hamada/ Super Delfin/ Shinzaki vs Hidaka /Yakushiji /Hoshikawa
This was pretty good for the cold as a 45 minute old cup of coffee style match one usually gets from MP these days. Shinzaki works a little as they continue to push Hoshikawa as the next big face in the promotion as he gets in lotsa of lowgrade offense in on his Crappiness, the Big Star That Was Supposed To Be Shinzaki. Hidaka gets to shed his BattlARTS bonds and BE the Flyer he can BE! He and Hamada do some neato stuff. Delfin tries to Togo something good out of the listless Yakushiji and takes decent little tope from the Green-clad freak. The ending is pretty hot as they Michinoku Pro the fudge out of the ending by having everybody go for their assorted and sundry finishers but have save after save after save. Shinzaki finally gets his cool-ass camel clutch on Yakushiji and we call it a night OH WAIT! Hoshikawa kicks him right in the head and Delfin and Hidaka end up in the ring! WOW! Now THAT'S a shitty looking shotay and NOW we call it a night! Not bad at all and I was ready to Glaze Right Over when this started.

Great Sasuke vs Hoshikawa
They show about a minute of clips of this and I cannot for the life of me figure out why they didn't show all of this. This is Hoshikawa's first big win over Sasuke and they just show the random highlights? Maybe Sasuke is crazy.

Great Sasuke/Tiger Mask vs Sasuke the Great/Masked Tiger
This is the infamous Sasuke turn and it's a big batch of fun. Tiger Mask IV has really worked his way over my Giant Personal Wall Of Loathing And Resentment (tm Bryan Clouse (You don't know him)) and he and Takeshi Ono beating the shit out of each other has been fun for about a year and a half now. This is Mascara contra Macara and should be a WHOLE lot better than it is but the key to this match is the Mountain of Inconsistency called Orihara. I think he used up his good match quota with that great match against Yasuraoka in WAR last year. Anyway, he is NOTHING in this match and the fact that he doesn't try to match highspots with Sasuke means that he is quite the suckass drag on the lightspeed this match would need to take to generate the heat it needs to generate. But he is and he doesn't and he is and it doesn't so there you go. Sasuke and Ono have some quality moments as Takeshi actually feels the need to hold up his end of the rudo bargain and kicks the shit out of some folks and Sasuke does some tricky standing switches into some Lucha coolness. HEY! Tigermask with the Tiger Suplex for the pin and- in case you forgot- Orihara ain't afraid to stink up the place. Afterward Sasuke is too nice to Orihara and Ono and Tigermask and Delfin try make Sasuke's big noggin even lumpier. Delfin the enraged face may be enough to make this angle work. Plus the fact that Crazy Motherfucking Max is gonna be on the scene helps. My favorite part is when they show Sasuke doing the run-in at a Toryu-Mon show in Mexico, sealing the deal with Crazy Max and you can see the big ESPN2 banner at ringside. Who do I have to kill to get tapes of THAT?

Mr. Niebla/ Mano Negra Jr. vs Rey Bucanero/ Black Warrior
In the Lucha-heavy Death Valley Driver Video Review #86 I will expound at length (YES! Something to look forward too! WOO-HOO!) on the INSANELY great match Mr Niebla had with Universo Dos Mil in CMLL in May so I still WAAAAAAYYYY on the Niebla bandwagon. Mano Negra Jr has the look of a youngster who will actually be everything that Mr Aguila didn't pan out to be so the technico side is ALLLL that, The Rudos are the Pinnacle of Lucha Bumpmeisters with the kicker of Black Warrior, the Future of CMLL- as he transcends the rudo role like certain Tijuana guys in WCW have. Since this is CMLL in Japan, they always feel the need to- well, you can't use "Nitro Match" anymore because Juventud vs Kidman #96 through #187 were all three times as long as this so- make the matches really short for whatever reason. It's one fall, everybody cramming in some flashy stuff (Niebla wins this, with Black Warrior hitting the best tope BUT THE FUGGING PHOTOGRAPHERS WERE IN THE WAY OF ME SEEING THE IMPACT!!!) BW and Buccanero doing deulling Jerry bumps with Rey winning with the one hand. Mano does a TRULY preposterously great Bouncy, Boingy, Flipping, Jumpy elaborate armdrag that had me saying, "YESSSSSS, sweeeett Looocha!" The rudos win with stereo Black Warrior Counterbalance Submissions! WOO-HOO! Not NEARLY long enough.

Atlantis/ Lizmark/ El Hijo del Santo vs Pirata Morgan/ El Satanico/ Fisherman
HOLY FUCK IS THIS GOOD! This match reminds me of a little story. My friend Kip is one of my oldest and dearest and when we were both in college we would go out of our way to give each other the most horrible gifts we could find for each others birthdays and Christmas as many friends will do and so it was a steady stream of bad ceramic monkeys, 24 packs of Roughrider Condoms, assorted Close-Shave magazines until the day I came across the hideous HAWK Cologne. It was rugged and manly and smelled like the morning after drinking too much tequila so we gave each other the bottle of Hawk for eight years until I finally lost track of. ANYWAY, Atlantis, El Hijo del Santo and Lizmark don't have HAWK cologne, they have FISHMAN rudo, because the whole point of the match was to disrupt the matural pairings of the match- since this was a VERY traditional style match where you would usually get attached to one opponent and stay with him- and PIN THE FISHMAN ON THE TECHNICO! Call me crazy, but isn't Lizmark and Fishman AROUND the same age? Why is Lizmark still GREAT and why is Fishman more like the lost Hermanos Dinamitas? Okay, he's a LOT better than THAT but do you know what I mean? Am I Crazy? The problem for Fishman is that Satanico and Pirata Morgan decide that THIS would be a good time to prove to the world who the best really old school rudo is and thus Pirata works his ass off- including working a SPECTACULAR sequence with Santo where Santo does a Hurricanrana into a Off-the-shoulder-around-the-body Totally GREAT elaborate armdrag INTO an Off the apron Hurricanrana on the floor and I said "WWELLL NOW!" Satanico says, "Hold on Grampa!" And goes at with Atlantis (also known as Lizmark Jr if your the total idiots who slap together WCW Worldwide these days) on the mat and it is SWANK. Lizmark and Santo have their own contest as Lizmark hits all the high-flying moves that everybody stole from him to match the Santo Sequence and the Senton Into the Tope Spot that he hit later. Lizmarks FAT ASS Plancha to the floor onto Pirata was about as spectacular as anything Santo did, so this was old guys going hogwild and I loved it. GET ALL THIS!!!

#$#$#$#$#$ BRAZILIAN VALE TUDO CHALLENGE MATCHES
(by MIKE NAIMARK)
So you wanna move to Brazil, eh? Well then, you'll need to find yourself a hobby. Popular ones include soccer, sunbathing, and dancing. And if none of that tickles you fancy, you can always look at somebody cross-eyed and engage in the *other* national passtime - beating the tar out of people. Brazilians have had a long relationship with what they call 'Vale Tudo', literally free-fighting in Portuguese. Challenges occur at the drop of a hat or with a misplaced wink at an unavailable lady, so it pays to be ready to rumble. These imprompteau challenges are so common that hand-held videos featuring what are literally Brazilian streetfights are common in the fighting underground, sometimes featuring such reputable Vale Tudo fighters as Marco Ruas and Rickson Gracie smacking the beejeezus out of poor saps in back alleys or on the beach. I call this particular tape, "No-hold-barred Face Smashing", and in case you've ever really wondered how fresh blood look sin black-n-white video, well, it looks like chocolate syrup.

Claudio vs Unknown fighter
I only know Claudio's name because his buddies were chanting it during the fight. This matchup occurs on the pavement outside of a club. The dance music from the club is audible on even this grainy tape. Claudio looks to be around 5'10, 170lbs, while his opponent is a huge hulk of a man, probably 6'4, 210lbs or more. The match is joined 'in progress' as 'Hulk' is flinging wild punches which back Claudio up to the wall of the club. Claudio drops to his knees, but not in submission; he grabs 'Hulk' around the ankles, braces his feet against the wall, and pushes forward, taking the bigger man to the ground. From here, Claudio takes the mounted position, sitting on the mans chest and proceedes to beat the shit out of the larger man. With his back to the camera, Claudio fires a dozen-or-so punches, with at least a few of them landing. Someone from the crowd charges out and drags Claudio away (it must be a friend, since Claudio doesn't resist) as he defiantly spits on his beaten opponent. I get the distinct impression that only the presence of this unknown compadre saved 'Hulk' from being pissed upon. Winner - Claudio!

Rickson Gracie vs Machado Student
The Machado Brothers are a respected pair of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu instructors who also dabble in combat with weapons (they appear in the crowd on my no-holds-barred stickfighting video). They also have a running war of words with the most respected of all Brazilian Jiu Jitsu instructors, the Gracie family. With Regan Machado visible in the huge crowd surrounding this match, one of his students attempts to do what mere words never could - shut the Gracies up. This 'match' takes place on the sandy shores of a Brazilian beach during the lunchtime tanning rush; there must be over 100 people thronging around this fight, and the cameraman gets rudely jostled more than once. But what we can see on this tape is Rickson on his back, with the Machado student in his guard, trying like hell to be the man who finally ends the Gracie's undefeated streak in no-rules matches. Someone in the crowd leans over and starts yelling instructions to one of the fighters, and is suddenly yanked back by his throat by an unknown member of the crowd, his eyes bulging like Amos & Andy and his tongue protruding, stuck in mid-sentence. The comedic effect of this can not be underestimated. Meanwhile, the student on top gets frustrated with his inability to solve Gracie's legendary 'guard', and foolishly tries for a keylock armbar. Quick as a flash, Gracie reverse his position and rolls over to a full mounted position. As Rickson rears back to fire a wicked right hand, the student quickly and visibly taps out on Rickson's chest. Rickson throws the punch anyway, cracks the poor sap on the forehead, and stands with his arms in full 'Rocky' mode, while his supporter in the crowd chant his name. Another day, another loudmouthed chump beaten down, and another notch in the legend of the Gracies.

Bizarro Match
I don't know who these guys are. I don't know where they're fighting. I don't know why they're fighting. What I DO know is that these two smaller men (5'8-5'10 by my guess) are masters in the feared art of Rochambeaux. For those of you who don't watch South Park, this fight, which starts out with some unremarkable standup boxing and leg kicks, suddenly degenerates into a crotch-kicking contest! WACK! THUD! WACK! THUD! I was gagging after the first 'WACK' myself, but these guys really do have the 'Balls of Iron'! They just don't MAKE a cup strong enough for me to engage in this kind of masochism. The nut-kicking ceases for a moment as the men return to punching, but at this point its pretty clear that all of that scrotum-smacking has taken the spark out of both men. Hell, I was pooped too, and I'm just watching it on tape. I'd like to see Ken Shamrock take that kind of abuse. In fact, I'd pay $50 if Vince McMahon took on Eric Bischoff in this kind of competition. One man finally lands a glancing right cross and collapses on top of his foe, and they both lay on the ground, panting, as the tape ends. The winner? You dear reader. For I guarantee you that there is not a man amongst you who could watch this fight and not have it indelibly burned into their collective genital psyche. This ain't some goofball Val Venis angle either. I think I need a drink.....

$%$%$%$%$% ECW TV (1/28/98-2/18/98)
(by PHIL RIPPA!)
I've had a horrible week so this is what I am reviewing to make my life easier. Next to Rev. Ray, I probably keep up with ECW the most so call me masochistic. Anyway, I just picked a couple of weeks from the stuff that I was cataloging for Dean and here you go.

Justin Credible vs. Gran Hamada
Aaahhh, the wonderful period of time when Paul Heyman was bringing over all the Michinoku Pro guys and then jobbing them out in like 45 seconds. This match takes place because Credible (who is number three on the list of wrestlers who can't wrestle but everybody on the 'net thinks they can. The other two would be The Rock and Hunter Hearst Hemsley) injured The Great Sasuke so Hamada is looking for revenge and "to teach the upstart 23-year-old some respect" (tm Joey Styles). Anyhoo, Hamada, who I am convinced once put a headlock on John The Baptizer, hits all of his moves in about two minutes. Old School Headbutts - CHECK. Top Rope Hurricanrana - CHECK. Spinning DDT - Check. Credible kicks out of them all, which really pisses me off, and the fun begins. Hamada misses a pescotta, "injuries" his knee, Credible hits the knee with a chair, puts on Sasuke's mask and then pins Hamada with the spinning tombstone. Okay, where do I begin. Well, the wearing of Sasuke's mask was cool but that was it. First off, it amazes me that over the course of the year, Credible didn't cripple someone with his sloppiness on the spinning tombstone. I understand and see how the result goes with the story that Credible is a talented young kid who can beat the greats of wrestling; it's just his attitude that everyone hates. And it works on that level. The crowd hates him, wrestlers hate him etc.. What I don't like is pushing Credible to the moon. The whole story line would work with someone who could actually WRESTLE. Before anyone starts yelling, YES I have seen a lot of Credible matches in all of his incarnations (ex: P.J. Walker, Aldo Montoya) and he has NEVER impressed. Not once. He might be a great guy and all or he could really be an asshole. Either way, he can't wrestle. If this angle had been played out with someone like Jerry Lynn (as a pick a name off the top of my head) it would be really great. But alas
its not and shortly it turns into a Tommy Dreamer/Justin Credible feud. More on that later.

Sabu/ Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney
Hey, Axl Rotten - I hate you (see MCW show). Meanwhile, you have Rob Van Dam who I'm indifferent too but I know that Dean dislikes and Phil wants to see him dead (possible just maimed, you have to ask him.) Sabu wrestles with a broken jaw and Mahoney is just fat (that would be FAT, no PH anywhere to be found.) The match quickly turns into a spotfest and it ain't good. Sabu does the requite clutching and grabbing, but for the most part it is while he is on the apron. Van Dam, the king of fruity embellishment, lives up to it with some weird somersaults and spins on normal kicks. Oh well. I am still trying to determine which move I hate more- The Van Daminator or Rolling Thunder. See the Van Daminator (the move that consists of Van Dam's opponent holding the chair in front of his own fact while Rob kicks) EXPOSES THE BUSINESS more than any other move that I can think off but Rolling Thunder (the move that consists of a slingshot legdrop from Sabu while Van Dam hits a somersault splash) proves how stupid Van Dam can look with his fruity embellishments. It is still a toss up because I hate both moves and they are in like every single match. Eventually, after lots of wandering and some chairs shots, Sabu and Van Dam hit Total Elimination. That brings Kronos out of the back since he is offended by the use of his old finisher. The best is that the match ends with a DQ because Kronos interfered. I can't remember the last time I saw an ECW match end with a DQ. Not that I am complaining that this match ended but still. I guess all I am asking for is a little consistency.

Al Snow vs. Doug Furnas
If you are epileptic, DON'T WATCH THIS MATCH. They decide to show it in "Head TV" which basically means that they spin the camera around a lot and the picture gets shaky almost all the time. It is really annoying and gives you a headache (no pun intended). Styles pops off a good line about how Furnas is a veteran of All Japan and could you imagine the look on Baba's face if he saw the reaction to Snow and the heads. I unfortunately couldn't come up with anything outstandingly funny so I will let you fill in your own joke. Snow and Furnas work a really basic match that is on the slow side. I am not minding it because it seems to be free of the typically ECW crap (minus the Head TV stuff). But of course as soon as I think of this, the cut to a shot of Jenna Jamenson, declare her the Queen of giving head, and then they go back to the match where Snow has grabbed the Head, knocked Furnas out and gotten the pin. Good Old ECW. Oh, I almost forgot. During the match, Styles claims that the reason that Furnas is not a huge star is because the WWF was holding him down. I don't know but I thought it was because of the injuries, steroid use and his general laziness. But Hey that is just me.

The Dudleys vs. Dreamer/ Sandman vs. New Jack/ Kronos vs. Sabu/ Van Dam
Good morning class. Welcome to ECW 101. This match is the perfect example of  ECW's all of the board booking while they decide to push the boundaries of decency. (Of course this is before the Dudleys start inciting the crowd to riot, so what the hell do I know.) Dreamer's grandfather (the one who was supposedly very supportive of ECW) had just died and the Sandman was paying tribute. Dreamer's bawling his eyes out. The Dudleys are being classy, etc.. So they decide to do a 10 bell salute. All well and good. At about 8, Justin Credible gets in the ring, gets on the STICK and I quote, says "Tommy you know that the only thing I wish is that it was you that died, not your worthless, stupid grandfather." Yeah. Yeah for classy ECW. Dreamer attacks Credible. Everyone pulls him off. Big ruckus. Yadda, Yadda, Yadda... Eventually, the Dudleys and Sandman/ Dreamer start the match (since it is supposed to be a tag match). So to pay tribute to Tommy's grandfather, all the guys to WRESTLE. Bubba Ray, D-Von, Dreamer, the Sandman for Christ's sake. Of course, the only moves the guys know are arm drags and hip tosses but they aren't afraid to bust out like nine of the them. Somewhere along the way, the say FUCK IT and just start a big clusterfuck of brawling (tm ECW). The Dudleys taunt New Jack which brings out New Jack and Kronos to make it a three way. New Jack brings the bucket of plunder which means all the wrestling is out the window. Right? Nope, New Jack gets in the ring and squares of with Dreamer. Styles goes wild about how this is a hardcore fans dream. They then proceed to trade headlocks, hip tosses and arm drags. Man, I thought it was bad seeing the Sandman wrestle but New Jack was MUCH worse. Oh well, Kronos taunts Sabu and Van Dam so they come out to make it a four-way, because what would an ECW tag match be without it being booked six ways to Sunday. Kronos and New Jack get eliminated when Sabu and Van Dam hit stereo leg drops from the top rope. The Dudleys get rolled-up by Dreamer and Sandman to get eliminated (see the wrestling wasn't done yet). Hey look, Justin Credible is back out yelling at Tommy from the stage. Now this is the best, Credible starts mugging the injured Mikey Whipwreck who was sitting up there. Whipwreck, who isn't involved, takes the biggest bump as he gets kicked off the stage to the floor. A drop of at least 10 feet. Needless to say, Dreamer leaves the match to go after Credible which allows Sandman to get eliminated when Sabu hits an Arabian Facebuster while Van Dam hits a frog splash (which is his one good move thanks to the height he get on it). So there was the big tribute to Dreamer's grandfather. Aahhh, good old ECW.

&*&*&*&*&* THE BEST OF JERRY LYNN
(by REV RAY!)
Jerry Lynn vs Tom Burton
The graphic says "1998", one of his earliest matches, so it's actually probably around 1989 or 1988. This is on "IWA" tv in a ring with super loose ring ropes. The most interesting thing that be said about this is that these two would go on to work in the Global Wrestling Federation. Burton wins with a clothesline in what's more or less a squash with Jerry getting some minor offense in. Burton is no Stan Hansen.

Jerry Lynn vs. "The Prophet" Ricky Rice (August '91)
This is from the PWA Wrestle for Shelter show which was some sort of benefit. Rice basically acts like he's stoned, claims to be a holy man. The cool part is he comes out to like an 8 minute Jim Morrison's strung out song, which fits the gimmick. Ricky spends about 5 minutes getting to the ring, at one point going into the crowd, causing the announce to proclaim "we've lost the Profit" when they can't find him. The camera man also does a good job of shooting directly into the ring lights. Rice is probably best known as one half of the "Top Guns" in the AWA. The announcers claim that Rice is as good as Randy Savage and Curt Hennig. I try to figure out if this was the time the two were working as announcers only due to injuries. The match is annoying as Rice will hit one move, mug for the camera, play to the crowd, and generally waste time which drags the pace of the match down. The is not very spectacular for a long peroid. Lynn hits a nice top rope splash. Rice does a head scissor take down to the floor and dives off the top rope to Lynn. Of course, the ring is maybe 2 feet off the ground. Lynn gets in some offense after a Sattelite Head Scissors until he goes up top and Rice drop kicks him off the top rope to the floor. Lynn gets thrown in by Rice, but Lynn recovers and answers with a nice over the top rope plancha and then a top rope drop kick to the floor. Lynn gets posted, Rice poses on the second rope and Lynn punches him in the head from the floor. Given the height of Lynn, you now get an appreciation of how high this ring is. Rice low blows Lynn, Rice misses a diving headbutt. Lynn starts working the leg and puts on a Scorpion Deathlock which the announcers don't know how to call. Rice eye gouges out of a leg lock, hits a nice powerslam for two. Lynn kicks out of a top rope sunset flip. Rice continues the offence, throws Lynn outside. Rice hits Lynn with a box of programs, puts the box on Jerry's head and posts him. They brawl into the crowd for a bit. They head back in, Rice takes sort of a Flair Flip bump out to the floor, Lynn splashes him on the floor off the post. Lynn ends up getting the win by turning a Rice clothesline attempt into a crucifx. A so-so match. Given the dives, it was probably pretty state of the art for US Wrestling '92, but the in ring offense lacked a bit.

Jerry Lynn vs JB Trask (August '94)
No DQ - This is from the first NPW show, "Sodbuster" Kenny Jay is the ref. The story is that Trask has been threatening Lynn's family. Lynn busts out a Sattellite Headscissors early and a tope con hilo. Lynn runs Trask's back into the post and goes for a pin. Of course, it's on the other side of the ring, so you can't tell what happens, but Lynn sells like he's been hit low. Trask works over Jerry on the floor, DDTs him on a chair for two. They go back in, Lynn blocks a superplex, drops Trask off and hits a top rope drop kick and after some more moves, a top rope splash. Trask takes over when Lynn misses a corner drop kick. The announcers talk about things that Trask has used in matches, a flame thrower gets mentioned. Somehow, I doubt that. Trask hits Jerry with a few chairs and sets up a table. Trask hits an elbow smash off the apron as Jerry's hanging off the table. Trask throws Lynn into a bunch of chairs. Trask brings Lynn up the bleachers, but Jerry runs his head into the wall and then does a dive from the bleachers onto Trask. Lynn puts a garbage can over Trask's head and drop kicks him down. They brawl back and forth a bit, Trask gets his whip into an up ended table reversed. Lynn goes for a sleeper which Trask jaw breakers out of. Lynn pulls out a moonsault body press onto Trask. Trask kicks out and hits a desperation DDT. Lynn misses a body press and goes outside. Trask misses a dive off the top rope. Lynn pulls Trask up onto the table and hits a beautiful Jumping Powerbomb through the table for the win. This was a good match. Jerry's added a lot more to his arsenel by this point and is real polished.

Jerry Lynn vs JB Trask (September '94) NPW
This is a rematch. The announcers claim that they agreed to have a scientific match up. Lynn controls early, working the arm of Trask. Lynn controls for a good 5 to 10 minutes until Trask catches Lynn with a swinging DDT in the corner, which Lynn does a blade job out of. Trask works the abdominal stretch hold the ropes bit which Mike Rotunda has killed. They work a bunch of near falls as the 20 minute time limit runs out. Trask asks for 10 more minutes, which Lynn accepts. Lynn attacks at the opening, but Trask takes over with an inverted atomic drop and a clothesline. Trask works over Lynn, gets a two with a foot on the chest cover following a piledriver. He goes for another, but Jerry blocks it and back drops out. Jerry hits a sunset flip out of the corner for two. Trask hits a body slam, but Lynn kicks him in the head from the mat, both guys sell being out for a bit, Lynn gets a two after a bump heads spot. Lynn flips out of a suplex attempt for a two, hits a nice DDT for another two. Lynn with a few leg drops for another two. Lynn with a low level top rope splash due to the height of the ceiling. Jerry misses a corner charge. Trask goes for a superplex, Lynn blows Trask, hits a low level top rope drop kick followed by a nice tope suicida as the time runs out. Jerry beats on Trask with a chair and atomic drops him on a chair. This was OK. They sort of killed too much time early on for the time limit draw and I'm sure the low ceiling killed a lot of what they could do.

All and all, I don't know how much of a "Best of Jerry Lynn" tape it was. I've seen hand helds of Lynn v. Lightning Kid, Sabu and other guys which are better than most of the matches. The No DQ Trask match was probably the best of the batch, but the rest is so so.

@#@#@#@#@#@ J'd #30- 10/17/98, (taped 8/2/98- Korakuen Hall)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN!)
Yabushita/ Fujiwara/ Obuchi vs Fang Suzuki /Ryuna /Hechicera
Yabushita is a fabulous Judo Girl but she doesn't do much in this. Fujiwara gets some nice stuff in- if she is the one in the surgeon's apron. This was pretty clipped and was all about Fang Suzuki. HEY! There ya go!

Sakai vs Random LLPW youngster
This looked like loads of fun but it was also clipped too much to really say. Sakai is my favorite J'd youngster and she looks a little unsharp in this one, though she is doing more high-flying now than neato Judo stuff like when Jaguar first unleashed her. I don't know which LLPW gal this was but she seemed to be guiding the lil Sakai along pretty well. Sakai misses then hits a moonsault after borrowing the swanky Fukuoka Forward Somersault Dropkick which looked pretty great. I heart Sakai so this was a-okay to me, though it was too clipped to actually figure out if it was any good or not. But we shall review it anyway!

Cooga vs Mayumi Ozaki
Cooga- one of the more mediocre wrestlers in the wild, wacky spectrum of all of professional wrestling- takes on Mayumi Ozaki- one of residents at the very top of the big old Bell curve of Professional Graps. Will Cooga drag down Ozaki? Your crappier wrestlers do this type of thing. Will Ozaki take Cooga up to a higher level? Your TRUE greats do that. This is right in between those two- mostly because Cooga is little crappier than I remember. Oz dictates the whole match and realizes early on that all she can POSSIBLY do with someone as limited as Cooga is kill some time until the end- when the TWO moves that Cooga can do effectively (Kappou Kick, I'm sure there is something else) can make for a decent ending. Oz takes it to the mat and tries to figure out how to work her way out of the this mess. Oz says... to herself..."Cooga is basic heel. She's GOT to be able to brawl a little. I'll pretend she's a REALLY stunted Kansai." Oz tries to brawl with Cooga after realizing that Cooga canÕt do anything interesting on the mat past the extended Sleeper that she get's on Oz and keeps on her until they are on the floor for a while. The problem with the brawling attempt is that Cooga really SUCKS at brawling. Oz is the FRICKING QUEEN of the Death Match. She can dish out and take a beating with the best EVER but here she's trying to get Shakespeare out of a Steiner here. Oz throws her into a bunch of chairs and kinda makes that look of "C'mon, Toots, DO something" alot. They take it back to the ring and they go into the big finish with Oz starting to lose control of the match. She leans into Cooga's sloppy Kappou Kicks enough to make them look good but not enough to make them look great, so she doesn't take them right in the face like she would if this was Kansai or Fukuoka or anyone else who would have given her something to work with- I'm guessing because Oz is wondering if it's too late to be taking a beating to get this match over with the crowd to any greater extent. Oz changes her mind and Cooga hits a nice Plancha that takes out Oz and two rookies and Cooga hits another spinning kick to the corner. Oz kicks her in the head and hits some nasty looking Uricans. Cooga counters out the Tequila Sunrise Suplex a few times with some of the worst suplexes you  will ever see. Oz hits Switch-hitter Uricans for the win. It was positive stars if I were one to do star ratings, and there are few Cooga singles matches that get past one star in my mind so this a moral victory for the argument for the greatness of the beloved and great Ozaki, but you don't want to actually SEE it unless you are a freakish Jd' completist- so unless you are Dean Rasmussen or Mike Lorefice, you have the Death Valley Driver Video Review's permission to lean on that remote like a wild person.

Kyoko Inoue vs Lioness Aska
Inoue and Aska had a strong Match of the Year Contender earlier in the year- Tim Whitehead had sent it to Hangman Tim and Hangman Tim showed it on his public access show and it was the coolest match of the year on Wrestling Power 98. Lioness served up the psychology of the match to play to Inoue's strengths while conquering Inoue's urge to try to do stuff that she is too heavy to do anymore. Inoue was ready, willing, and able to take some INSANE looking bumps to get that match over as a beautiful synthesis of mid-80's AJW Matsumoto-inspired garbagey brawling and 1990's bumps and some ageless great psycholgy with- for one of the first times that I can remember- Kyoko utilizing psychology that was PERFECT for her age- no stupid Manami Toyota Comebacks, no cutesy playing to the crowd, just Kyoko Inoue maturing into the latter days of her career as tough-as-shit ass-kicker getting into a total shitstomp with fellow bitchy old ass-stomper Lioness. It was beautiful and ferocious and almost perfect. THIS here rematch was a step backwards. Lioness doesn't lay down the law and do what's good for Kyoko- which is to save Inoue from herself- so Kyoko tries a LOT of stuff that she simply cannot do anymore. This was still good for a lot of the way but it whenever Lioness needs Kyoko to do anything complex at all- like for instance, all the big finishing spots take about three times longer to set-up and they try more table-oriented Tiger Drivers in this one. The big bump off the top through the table off the floor which sold Kyoko to the crowd as being tough enough to hang with Ass-stomper Lioness suffers from diminishing returns as they hit the spot quite a bit more lacklustre this go round. Add that to the fact that Lioness takes a great table bump a little earlier in the match and it took a bit away from the physically limited Kyoko going through a table from the top- though it was more of a triumph of the will for Kyoko to take the bigger bump. The parts that worked and what made the earlier meeting so much better was when they stood in the ring and beat the hell out of each other. This time it can't transcend the disparity of ability- as the big difference in this match and the great one earlier is that Lioness OBVIOUSLY is trying to carry Kyoko in this one and in the earlier match Lioness was a lot more seamless in carrying her once-great, rotund opponent. Kyoko blows a finisher she can't do anymore to fittingly bring this match to a close.

$%$%$%$%$% THE BEST OF LENNY LANE:
(by REV RAY!)
Lenny Lane vs Kamakazi Kid- Pro Wrestling Today
Kid is listed as being 5'8" 170 on the NPW web page, but they claim he weighs 205 on the tape. I guess he had a couple bricks in his pants during the weigh in. Kid is pretty young and probably hasn't been wrestling long. Kid controls early, but gets thrown out and posted- bringing forth a blade job. Lane takes over with a few suplexes until he misses a corner charge. Kid pulls out a pretty nice frankenrana and leg lariat for two. Lane foot saves after a flying clothesline. Lane with a nice powerslam after a series of counters on the ropes. Lane takes a long time and misses a top rope splash. Lane side steps a Kid top rope drop kick. Lane hits a not so good looking piledriver for two. Kid lands on top of Lane following another piledriver attempt for two. Lane recovers and hits a stampede powerslam for two. They go back and forth a bit, Lane takes over with some cheap shots to the Kid's head and then hits something that might have been either a suplex that he dropped Kid on his head or a brainbuster, I can't really tell. Lane gets the win with his feet on the ropes.

Lenny Lane vs Kamakazi Kid
This is a non-title match for Lane's PWA title, so I guess you know the outcome. Lane controls early until the Kid clotheslines him out over the top rope. Lane comes back in, Kid hits a monkey flip and works the arm. Kid works Lane over in the corner with chops and kicks, but he misses an avalanche and falls out to the floor, where Mortimer Plumtree, Lane's manager chokes him out. Lane throws Kid into the wall. Plumtree rans Kid's head into a chair and the Kid is bleeding again. Plumtree goes for a fire extinguisher when some old lady heads over so he decides not to. Lane works him over some more, throws him in ring, does a skip around the ring into a cover for two. Plumtree with the JJ Dillon Memorial Shot to the head. Lane gets a two following a clothesline. Lane with a half hour suplex for two. Lane throws him outside the ring, Plumtree with a belt to the Kid's head. JB Trask punches the Kid. Lane with a tope con hilo from the 2 foot high ring. Lane with a cabbage patch on the floor. Lane with a clothesline and feet on the ropes for two when the ref seees it. Kid with a sunset flip for two. Lane goes for another cover with his feet on the ropes which the ref catches again. After a few back and forth counters, the Kid hits a leg lariat. Lane works a sleeper. Kid fights out, Lane hits him to a knee to the stomach. Lane goes for a superplex, but Kid cratches him on the top rope. Kid runs Plumtree and Lane's heads together. Lane blades as Kid chases Plumtree around. Kid works over Lenny, goes for a top rope splash, but Plumtree pushes him off. Lane with another not so good piledriver for two. Kid back drops out of another attempt. Kid does a moonsault body press for two. Kid gets a two after a german when Lane accidentally hits Plumtree. Lane with a side slam for two, He goes for another and the Kid hits a Sattellite Head Scissors for two and gets the win with a top rope sunset flip. Lane says the Kid deserves a title shot after the match, and gets burned when the commissioner says he has to defend against the kid next month. Better than the first match.

"Dynamite" Dan Jesser vs Lenny Lane
Lane stalls a whole bunch and does some mic work before getting in the ring. This is an outdoor show in the shadows of a giant KFC sign and bucket of chicken. Welcome to the indies. After five minutes of working the crowd, they finally tie up with Jesser taking control. Lenny accidentally lands on Jesser during a leap frog. Jesser controls a lot of this, but doesn't seem to be as good a wrestler as the Kid. Jesser and Lane post each other about 3 times each. Jesser gives Lane a piledriver on the announcers' table. Jesser tries to whip Lane into the broken table across the ring apron, but Mr. Dynamic, Lane's second blocks it. Lane bumps the ref, Jesser gets pushed off the top by Dynamic. Jesser gets the win when Dynamic accidentally trips Lane. Dynamic and Lane beat on Jesser until Horace the Psychopath matches the save.

Lenny Lane vs Horace the Psychopath
Lane is accompanied by his third manager on this tape, the Lusicious Lady. Lenny has short hair and looks a bit like Shane Douglas, but I'll forgive him. Horace jumps Lenny at the bell and dominates with bralwling tatics. Horace runs Lane's head into a stool and drops an elbow off a stage. Horace hits a bite to the groin... that's a DVDVR first... and follows it with a midget wrestling favorite... a bite to the ass. Horace uses the hernia check later in the match. Horace bulldogs Lane onto the stage he jumped off of earlier. Lane blades. Horace dominates until he misses a somersault senton. Lane works on the back of Horace. Security does a good job of standing in front of the camera. They go back and forth with Lane keeping the upperhand for the most part. Lane piledrivers Horace out of the floor. Horace juices. Horace with the ode to Kawada and Tenryu kicks and a super kick. Lane throws him outside and hits a tope con hilo with his foot grazing the ceiling. Horace gets suplexed through part of a table. When they go back in, Horace ends up banging his head on the stuco ceiling as he mounts the second rope, which had to suck. Horace with a DDT and a somersault senton for two. He gets distracted by Lane's manager, Lane hits a reverse DDT for two. Lane ends up getting the win after avoiding a super kick and hitting a bulldog. This was pretty good. Horace, despite doing the crazy babyface gimmick, had a bunch of good moves, especially for an indie guy and, thus, it was pretty cool.

The final match on the tape was Lenny Lane vs the Great Sasuke which I reviewed in DVDVR #68. This one was joined in progress, but if you want know about it, go to the DVDVR archives...so there.

ALL JAPAN-Mistaharu Misawa/ Toshiaki Kawada/ Hiroshi Hase vs Akira Taue/ Jun Akyama/ Kenta Kobashi- 9/15/97: (SCHNEIDER)
This was a parjejas incredibleas match where they mixed up the usual parings, teaming Misawa and Kawada together for the first time in years. There is something different about sitting down for an All Japan match you know is an hour long draw. There is no real suspense, you just get yourself a Mr. Pibb, and some Tostidos and sit back cause you are in for the long haul. This match didn't have the intensity of a title match or league final, the boys new they were going "Broadway" and eased up on the headropping. The exception to this was Misawa who still got his perquisite neck snapping. There wasn't too many memorable spots, the best being Hase Giant Swinging Taue, and Taue dizzily trying to tag Kawada who pastes him. Kawada kicked some people in the face, Kenta Kimala 3 Kobashi didn't no-sell anything too bad, Akyama was all fired up, Taue was stoic and Hase didn't get smoked. Not a must see All Japan match but pretty fun for fans of the league.

NEW JAPAN- Jushin Thunder Liger vs Kaz Hayashi-10/17/98: (RASMUSSEN)
Kaz Hayashi is absolutely KING-SIZED at playing one country against another. Though a non-entity in the fucking clueless WCW, Kaz HAS stolen the best stuff for export to New Japan since Bookerman Liger doesnÕt seem to want Juventud, Kidman, or Rey around his little wrestling universe (but he wants Hayato Nanjo. Go Figure.) Kaz busts out a 450 Splash and does two Juventud Springboards into a Rydeen Bomb and a botched Springboard into a Shotay as Kaz busts out everything he's garnered from watching as much WCW programming as the rest of us and since heÕs stealing everything from Juventud I guess Juventud isn't going to Japan any time soon. Kaz fearlessly plumbs the depths of his own arsenal hitting the UltraSWANK Toprope Jawbreaker and his patented Tope Con Hilo Onto My Head. NJ gives this match 21 minutes but only show 9 minutes of it- which means NJ loves it's Cruiser's 1/10 as much as the aforementioned clueless WCW loves its cruisers because WCW doesn't know how to book... well, ANYTHING.... but they do show LOTS and LOTS of really long Cruiserweight matches. Liger doesn't get to wrestle the match he likes to wrestle these days because Kaz is scrawnier than his regular boys- and that's the key to Rey and the boys not wrestling Kanemoto and Ka Shin any time soon- so Liger can't do powermove into dangerous finisher into powermove, so he has to settle for selling Kaz's flying and they tread over some NJ Jr territory as they do the Endless Corner Thing. They do the common ground of the WCW/NJ Jr connection as they have a billion nearfalls at the end. They do the irritating Japanese thing of Liger kicking out of a frickin Dragon Suplex and Hayashi kicking out of a frickin Toprope Fisherman Buster. Liger kills him with a Shotay. I liked the heck out of this match because it was Ligerrific and Hayashitized, but c'mon- it's Jushin Thunder Liger In with The Artist Formerly Known As Shiryu. I expect something formulaic and pedestrian with Kaz in the US not with the best Junior in the world, AND WE AS THE VEIWING PUBLIC GET THE OPPOSITE!. Kaz had a better match against Juventud on Nitro a few weeks back. HELL, Juventud played to Kaz's Lucha history a LITTLE for God's sake. Liger had a perfect vehicle to show off his truly amazing versatility and he settled for Acme Japanese Junior Match Kit #346273. I hold Liger to a higher standard for about EVERYTHING, because he usually delivers more in a match like this. I still liked it. I just didn't love it like I wanted to.

ALL JAPAN- Akira Taue/ Toshiaki Kawada vs Kenta Kobashi/ Jun Akiyama-10/11/98: (RASMUSSEN)
This has three of the best workers in the world all trying to carrying the Rubenesque Kenta Kobashi and- once again this year- Akira Taue has to save the Porcine One's bacon- so to speak. Kawada- the most psychologically sound wrestler in the world before Misawa turned him into Kobashi's whipping boy- decides to experiment in selling as he lays around like the Great Muta at points- realizing that he is dirt after facilitating another super lacklustre title reign by the Dean Rasmussenly-bloblike Triple Crown Two-time loser Kobashi- face it, Misawa decided that the people didn't want Kawada as the champ but the People decided that Kobashi is too much of a total pansy to hold a title that Jumbo fucking Tsuruta once held. Akiyama and Kobashi do a lot of cool stuff as a tagteam and Akiyama sells like Kawada does when he's on, and since Kawada could give a shit anymore, Toshiaki ain't on here. Taue kicks Kobashi right in the face really hard to cement his status as Last Hope Of The Doomed All Japan Promotion. Akiyama does the Kawada sell for the finish, as he tries to no-sell a Brainbuster of Kawada's by struggling to his feet only to stumble into a Jumping Spin Kick when Kawada finally kills him- the same kick that didn't effect Kowbashi earlier in the match. The other hero of the match is Akira Taue. Taue- though knowing full well there is a really good chance HE's gonna be one who has to put Samson Fuyuki over to make Lardass Fuyuki look like a contender for Misawa if things keep rolling along like they are- works the stiffest, looks the most inspired and sells like a king for Akiyama. The best parts of the match is Taue and Akiyama fighting it out to hit an Apron Nodowa before Akiyama hits an Apron Exploider and the Swanky Taue DDT to the apron as a compromise. Kawada and Kobashi have a long sequence that was pretty cool but was also sad if you thought about it as the whole point was to get Kobashi over strong before Kawada gets the obvious win over eternal also-ran and future Shottenheimer Kansas City Chiefs of All Japan- Jun Akiyama. I'm kidding. This was perfectly fine wrestling.

DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.

"I know that she cares about me- I heard her call my name..."
- The Velvet Underground