I blame Dean for promising to finish his Eagle Pro Tourney match for three weeks and instead getting lost in the land of Joshi. I blame Phil Schneider for continually spelling Chris Benoit wrong for over five years. I blame Tom K for saying "Hey, I am not working now so I will write plenty. Including finishing my Gay British Wrestling review" and then never delivering. I blame Rev. Ray for not having wrestling to review. I blame Marcel for not sending me any reviews. I blame Naimark for having a real job. I blame Joshi for having hours of wrestling to view in such a short period of time. I blame Chris Trimborn and Wes Hatch (amongst others) for sending us hours of wrestling. I blame Fantasy Football for starting up on Yahoo. I blame Linux for putting all these fucking squares in the file and making me spend extra time taking them out. I blame Championship Manager. Most of all I blame myself.

EIGHTEEN HOURS OF WRESTLING REVIEWED - (PART ONE)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
[This is stuff I wrote over a few weeks so gear up for anachronistic references.] I'm off this week so I'm actually in charge of the two older hellions while the wife watches the youngest hellion.  I also have three tapes from the beloved Phil Schneider - tapes with matches that he and Tom k have fawned over and rambled at length to anyone at an indie show that had the fortune of sitting next to them or if you were the lucky soul who got to listen to them expound at length while you were driving them to an indie show for 8 hours. I'm also making tapes for Chris Trimborn - as he is the TRUE CONNECTION to the world of pro wrestling - and Doug Tilley - as he is the TRUE CONNECTION to Canadian Football.  So it will veer wildly depending on what I'm doing and when I'm actually in front of my TV.  Right now, I'm gonna review this Dr Wagner vs Atlantis match and then go take the kids to go see the Powerpuff Girls movie.

DR WAGNER vs ATLANTIS - CMLL (1/29/2002)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
This was fun  Wagner and Atlantis start out by punching each other in the face, with Atlantis going on offense with a kneedrop.  Wagner takes out his knee but can't follow up and Atlantis counters with a standing Frankensteiner into a roll-up sequence for the first fall.  Atlantis stays on offense in the second caida with the Quebradora and the dropkicks until Wagner pokes him in the eyes or something and does the Russian Legsweep into an Octapus hold. Atlantis monkey flips into his comeback but Atlantis can't lariat Doc so Doc hits the nodawa into a Tigerdriver for the second caida.  Between caidas, Doc puts a booger on a fans chair.  Atlantis is enraged and they start fighting on the floor.  They get to the ring and start trying to unmask each other - with Doc getting the worst of it, as one can tell he has one of those thin beards up to his thin sideburns like the soundman for Sawyer Brown or something.  OR maybe it's like a Johnny Paycheck beard.  If that's the case, it adds a whole new realm of crazy to Wagner's legend - propelling him past La Parka in the hearts of all true believers.  Atlantis hits the FAT ASS tope and Doc begins bumping like a KING for Atlantis - first with the toprope armdrag which all true wrestling fans love and the toprope missile dropkick. Doc escapes with a Rydeen Bomb to slowdown the afire Atlantis.  Doc's evil  henchman hands Doc the sledgehammer (one can wonder if he will start handing Doc a syringe chockfull of steroids to complete the ode to HHH) but the ref keeps Doc from smashing Atlantis (no doubt) pretty face and Atlantis chases Doc's thug around the ring until he gets back in to face the fury of doc! BUT ATLANTIS COUNTERS! and then Doc counters! And then Atlantis counters! AND DOC COUNTERS! WE ARE AT A STALEMATE IN ARENA MEXICO!  So they grab each other's mask and yank them off for double DQ.  Atlantis is the most underrated technico in CMLL.  Wagner rox.  This match gets a full Worldwide point.

Oop!  I still got time before the 1:15 showing and the Lucha I'm taping for young Doug is still rolling.  WHOA!  Pierroth's gang of Puerto Rican stereotypes!  Mexico! More racist than anywhere except maybe Japan!  It is a great stable and who am I to judge the arbitrary hatred between the Latin peoples of the world?

VILLANO 3/ VILLANO 4/ VILLANO 5/ a much thinner MR NIEBLA vs El VENENO/KILLER/ PODER BORICUA/ GRAN MARKUS: First fall must have been edited because it's gone in 30 seconds.  Veneno does the heavy lifting but this is all to set up the FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING GREAT Gran Markus turns on Puerto Rico and reverts to his love of Mother Mexico and gets the ring-equivalent of a Columbian Necktie.  Pierroth is now my favorite guy on the stick that I cannot understand the language he is speaking.  Why do they do EVERY angle right in Mexico?

ULTIMO GUERRERRO/ TARZAN BOY/ BLACK TIGER vs. SHOCKER/ NEGRO CASAS/ BRAZO DE PLATA:  Ultimo Guerrerro drives a VW Wagon?  My friend Ceci drives a VW Wagon but she has two kids.  I'm not sure how good her Quebrada is. BT is pissed because somebody isn't showing up so he hops in a cab.  Okay, we'll just have a match then.  Tarzan Boy fights like a motherfucker.  He and UG pummel Shocker as BT lariats Casas in the corner.  The ring is cleared and the evil former Infernales are standing tall!  Until Shocker comes back in lariats everyone.  Brazo belly bucks everyone until Tarzan Boy bodyslams Brazo (Does he get $10,000 or something?)  but Brazo does the strong man benchpress kick out with two guys on him.  Shocker makes Tarzan Boy submit to the Spinning Back Excruciation.  Second Caida is Ultimo Guerrerra and Negro Casas working as stiff as Casas has always demanded and why Casas is such a great luchadore.  Plus he whips out the best punches in Mexico.  Black Tiger and Super Porky do Brazo By Numbers and it got old in 1997.  Tarzan Boy and Shocker opt to just fucking rip it up with the kicks right to the motherfucking face and the armdrags.  Shocker and UG get in and UG crushes Shocker with the corner lariat before making Casas give it up with the suitably fabulous Ground Abdominal Stretch With Added Leg in Torture Rack. Porky succumbs to a double vertical suplex and Shocker submits to Black Tigers Crippler Crossface.   Third Caida, Shocker and BT bring the love as Shocker comes in with the beautiful Slingshot elbow drop.  Tarzan Boy can no longer body slam Brazo and it allows Casas to get on offense.  Tarzan Boy and Casas are not afraid to BRING THE STIFF and it's fucking beautiful.  UG CAN body slam Brazo but can't hit him with a toprope senton.  BT and Porky do more crappy Porky spots but it leads up to Tarzan Boy and Shocker in the ring again and it fucking rules.  Shocker with the bulldog to the floor.  Porky is really fat.  Shocker hits the BEAUTIFUL Flying Crossbody and then Rey Buccanero runs and starts beating the fudge out of Shocker.  Tarzan Boy joins in and I'm assuming that that was who they were going to pick up in the VW Wagon.  Rudo assbeat on Shocker commences and another fine fine CMLL match is in the books.  Tarzan Boy is fucking awesome.  Shocker is fucking awesome.

Let me go to the movies.  Back with more later...

COMPLETE PLAYERS - 02 - REAL TIME CHAT REVIEW
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN and PHIL RIPPA)
<Rippa> Mmmm.... Complete Players
<deanIZdean> Lemme find it
<deanIZdean> Should we start the whole 138 with this?
<Rippa> Its okay - I have to get through this never ending Nagashima match
<Rippa> I will probably split it in half
<deanIZdean> I'm ffing through a best of Scoot Andrews tape
<Rippa> you do not have a best of Scoot Andrews tape
<Rippa> BTW - I have a matchlist for the show already
<deanIZdean> Oconnor sent me everything
<Rippa> I am now confused as to if this is the OZ Academy show or not
<deanIZdean> Are there women wrestling?
<Rippa> Ikuto Hidaka vs. Asian Cougar is the first match
<Rippa> Yes
<deanIZdean> Complete Players
<Rippa> I guess this is the Azumi Hyuga vs. Kaori Nakayama match
<Rippa> but where is Hidaka/Cougar?
<deanIZdean> HYUGA~!
<deanIZdean> before it
<Rippa> oh there it is - FF too much
<Rippa> are you there yet?
<deanIZdean> Oh yeah
<Rippa> where are you pausing?
<deanIZdean> Shoiuld I write a little introduction?
<Rippa> you can - if not, I will wing it like last time
<deanIZdean> At the end of the Kanji
<deanIZdean> Here's a little introduction
<Rippa> Jesus - Carlos Amano sure aint getting easier on the eyes
<deanIZdean> I got all these tapes back from Tim
<Rippa> bloody Aja Kong - not part of this show
<deanIZdean> He borrowed them after the 500 so he could tape a couple things and of course we had not actually reviewed any of it
<Rippa> okay - here we go
<Rippa> SAMURAI!
<deanIZdean> Since I suddenly have this influx of tapes, we thought it would BE FUN to realtime SYNCH AND REVUE! LIKE MEN!
<Rippa> or we pretend to be synched up but in actuality - we will be 2 minutes off and ruining the finishes for each other
<deanIZdean> The Complete Players was the shortlived amalagamation of Gedo, Jado, Minoru Takana, Hosaka and their luv-slave Koari Nakayama
<Rippa> Did you watch these weird little interview things yet?
<Rippa> BAD TO THE BONE~!
<deanIZdean> Gedo and Jado went New japan
<deanIZdean> Tanaka went to Zero One
<deanIZdean> Or was it All Japan?
<Rippa> Both
<deanIZdean> Either way- they are all dispersed after this one show
<Rippa> but now he is Zero One fulltime
<deanIZdean> And Gedo and Jado are also in Michinoku Pro
<Rippa> I dont think Tanaka is wearing pants under that T-shirt
<deanIZdean> Hosaka is not afraid to pal around wirth Onita
<deanIZdean> Where are you now?
<Rippa> Michinoku Pro - which might not be around too much longer
<Rippa> Tanaka is ON THE STICK!
<deanIZdean> (Y'all can synch up at HOME! It's LIKE Y'ALL ARE A BIGGA BATCHA DORKS AS US!)

Ikuto Hidaka vs. Asian Cougar
<Rippa> Okay - I am paused right when they cut to the start of Hidaka vs. Cougar
<Rippa> The Bastards clipped it
<Rippa> it starts with them starting the knucklelock
<deanIZdean> Pause at the knucklelock and I'll catch up
<Rippa> that is what I am doing
<deanIZdean> go
<deanIZdean> kanji
<deanIZdean> gone
<Rippa> yup
<deanIZdean> bridge
<deanIZdean> power up
<Rippa> pause and unpause yours
<deanIZdean> Hidaka gets all flippy
<deanIZdean> and misses the dropkick
<Rippa> Yeah - okay, we are really really close to being synched up
<deanIZdean> AC has the SWANK black mask
<deanIZdean> tassles on the pants are completely balls out
<Rippa> I think the natural lag in our inability to type more than 15 words per minute will prevent us from truly getting synched
<deanIZdean> LEG DROP #$1
<deanIZdean> yes, legdrops are one dollar
<Rippa> His red/white combo is so much better than the yellow/black
<deanIZdean> they both rule
<Rippa> Oh - that dropkick was also sorts of turny
<deanIZdean> awesome somersault piscada
<deanIZdean> Asian Cougar is so fun
<deanIZdean> Hidaka has the bass player for Krokus styled make up
<Rippa> damn dog trying to break my dining room table
<deanIZdean> Cougar could work on his strikes
<Rippa> HA! and my cat just fell of the bed
<Rippa> Okay - that is the update of my pets
<Rippa> Back to the match
<deanIZdean> Sitting Octupus Hold
<deanIZdean> into the Puroresu headscissors
<deanIZdean> Asian Cougar is fun but his striking isn't very good and his matwork is comical
<Rippa> Hey Hidaka is actually doing stuff in the hold - as opposed to the Takanos from the last time
<deanIZdean> He can still work thoug
<Rippa> that was.... oka
<Rippa> okay too
<deanIZdean> Skin the cat into a Savate kick
<deanIZdean> This is all very first match of the night
<deanIZdean> Asian Cougar stuck in a figure four
<Rippa> This is very much "Masato called in a favor"
<deanIZdean> Very much a $20 bucks and a few donuts
<Rippa> hey - Cougar grapping the ankle to get out of the Figure Four
<deanIZdean> This kicks into gear though if I remember
<deanIZdean> Toehold- Hidaka is all old school
<deanIZdean> AC with the bulldog
<Rippa> Hey Cougar with a Trish Stratus Bulldog
<Rippa> #2
<deanIZdean> LEGDROP #2}
<Rippa> that was a great sell
<deanIZdean> I love this sp{ot
<Rippa> what is up with you an the brackets?
<deanIZdean> The Diving Senton onto the chairs
<deanIZdean> My typing is SELF TAUGHT!
<deanIZdean> I use my elbows
<deanIZdean> U LUV A VAN DAMINATOR!
<Rippa> That might be the worst Van Daminator ever
<deanIZdean> Why did I go to the wall for Hidaka again?
<Rippa> the one on the knee was passable - but the other was bad
<Rippa> You were drunk?
<deanIZdean> He is all cute and cuddly
<deanIZdean> AC makes the ropes out of the kneebar
<deanIZdean> Hidaka is actually holding AC down in this match
<Rippa> oh - I should be C&Ping :-)
<deanIZdean> Tombstone
<deanIZdean> AC heads for the top
<deanIZdean> Diving headbutt to NOWHERE
<deanIZdean> Missile dropkick by hidaka for 2
<Rippa> HOT FINISH~!
<deanIZdean> Hidaka counters out of AC Fuct up Lucha Submission and gets a heel hook
<deanIZdean> Hidaka crushes AC's knee with a Missile Dropkick and rolls into a kneebar
<deanIZdean> anbd that's all she wrote/
<Rippa> Hmm... 13 minutes and they joined it in progress
<Rippa> I guess they showed about 10 minutes worth
<deanIZdean> Hidaka isn't Takeshi Sasaki
<deanIZdean> No he isn't
<deanIZdean> Did you see Takeshi Sasaki vs Asian Cougar?
<deanIZdean> Fromt he DDT PPV?
<Rippa> Yes - I watched it with you
<Rippa> hold on a sec - let me catch up on the C&P
<Rippa> stupid MIRC not logging correctly
<deanIZdean> AC was kinda reeled in by Hidaka here and not in a good way
<deanIZdean> Sasaki said, "Let's go fucking wild" and the match was absolutely breath-taking
<Rippa> okay - all caught up

Azumi Hyuga vs. Kaori Nakayama
<Rippa> JOINED IN PROGRESS
<deanIZdean> Are at the rolling cradle?
<Rippa> Azumi Hyuga vs. Kaori Nakayama
<Rippa> snap mare
<deanIZdean> Did you pause?
<Rippa> no - I am still rolling
<deanIZdean> I'm at Kaori working the arm
<deanIZdean> pulling the hair
<Rippa> that was more rubbing the eyes
<deanIZdean> Kaori isn't very good
<Rippa> biting the arm
<Rippa> did you get all the biting?
<Rippa> and the boot to the face?
<deanIZdean> Hyuga will wrestle for a 5 bucks and can of beenie-weenies these days
<deanIZdean> She was at the Rainbow Festival, Osaka Pro and THIS
<Rippa> MY BOOBIES! LOOK AT MY BOOBIES!
<Rippa> Hey, a girl has to make a living
<deanIZdean> YOu ARE TWO SECOND AHEAD OF ME
<Rippa> camel clutch?
<deanIZdean> THAT's HOW YOU BEAT ME TO THE BOOBIES JOKE!
<Rippa> I beat (PUN~!) you too it because I had both hands on the keyboard
<deanIZdean> Azumi cinches in the Camel Clutch while the Teens Of Japan cinch in the Peenie clutch
<deanIZdean> Koari with a nice leg drop
<Rippa> I always feel like Wally Yamaguchi should be refing these shows - then it would truly feel indy and sleazy
<deanIZdean> Kaori is perfectly fine
<deanIZdean> I rescind my earlier scorn
<Rippa> okay - Raw has started. I will completely ignore the other chat
<deanIZdean> I just like the fact that they got the 1988 All japan ring
<Rippa> I know - I thought I had the wrong tape at first
<deanIZdean> Hyuga with the flying shin to the face
<Rippa> Tying her to the Tree of Woe
<Rippa> That was pretty neat
<deanIZdean> Kaori in the Tree Of Woe and her sports bra takes the REAL pounding
<Rippa> Man - Kaori is all sorts of bulldogerific
<deanIZdean> Kaori with the Rings Of Saturn for the heatless submission
<Rippa> still - that is how Perry Saturn wishes he could apply that hold
<deanIZdean> Nice dropkick running up the ropes by Azumi
<deanIZdean> Oh, Azumi is good
<deanIZdean> Deadlift Suplex
<deanIZdean> How UWFi
<Rippa> Azumi has brought the pain all of a sudden
<deanIZdean> Makes Kaori's DDt look monstrous
<deanIZdean> HOT FINISH!
<Rippa> Man - is there even a crowd watching this show?
<Rippa> oh - that will break some ribs
<deanIZdean> Kaori with the moonsault gone wrong
<deanIZdean> Azumi with the Locomotion germans for two
<Rippa> Kaori was not afraid to deeply leap into those Germans
<Rippa> what's your problem with Kaori?
<deanIZdean> They take it to the top but Kaori rolls it into a toprope Sunset Flip
<deanIZdean> oo Tommykazi
<deanIZdean> I got no problem with Kaori
<deanIZdean> It helps that she's in with Azumi Hyuga
<Rippa> true
<deanIZdean> Regal-esque Butterfly Suplex
<Rippa> Man - this HOT FINISH started 8 hours ago
<deanIZdean> Remember that Azumi looked credible with Yoshida in the Zion Tournament
<deanIZdean> BAD TOUCH
<deanIZdean> Destiny Hammer
<Rippa> BOut time
<deanIZdean> Excalibur for 3
<deanIZdean> That wasn't anything to write home about, but it was the best Kaori nakayama I've seen
<Rippa> I am sure it was better than what was on Raw at the moment
<deanIZdean> Postmatch Azumi says, "Yeah okay, ten bucks and a pack of spiced luncheon loaf and can you hurry, a Zipang card starts in 40 minutes

Hideki Nishida/MIKAMI vs. Tomohiro Ishii/Takashi Sasaki
<deanIZdean> NISHIDA~!
<deanIZdean> NISHIDA~!
<deanIZdean> NISHIDA~!
<deanIZdean> MAKAMI!
<Rippa> Hideki Nishida/MIKAMI vs. Tomohiro Ishii/Takashi Sasaki
<deanIZdean> Fucking TAKASHI SASAKI!
<deanIZdean> AWESOME
<Rippa> This should just be Sasaki vs. Nishida in a singles match
<Rippa> I would watch that for days
<deanIZdean> Oh MAN, that would rule it
<deanIZdean> PSYCHIC
<deanIZdean> with the cane shot
<deanIZdean> Tomohiro Ishii
<Rippa> It appears - according to my match list that Nishida and Mikami wrestle twice
<deanIZdean> Where so I know him from?
<Rippa> We shall see
<deanIZdean> MAKAMI looks great in this
<deanIZdean> I love the MOR-TAL~! Spinning Dropkick
<Rippa> lets not get carried away - he did he dropkick
<Rippa> and that is it
<deanIZdean> out of a Mortal
<deanIZdean> the spin through the ropes
<Rippa> You might remember Ishii from the lacrosse team hazing ritual - I mean, look at that hair
<deanIZdean> Sasaki- KING OF THE INDIE SCUM!
<deanIZdean> he has the pants with the ventilation panel on his hinder
<deanIZdean> MAKAMI has the white tassels that kick him up 40 spots
<Rippa> its a little late for that
<deanIZdean> Odd brawling at ringside...
<Rippa> MAKAMI fighting out of the Walls of Jericho
<deanIZdean> Tomohiro Ishii isn't afraid to sink in the Boston Crab
<deanIZdean> Sasaki is so smoooth
<deanIZdean> So Psychic is just kinda hanging around ringside wacking folks in the head?
<Rippa> there is way to much Psychic
<Rippa> He must have just showed up at the show looking to work
<Rippa> and Tanaka didnt have enough guys to run a battle royal
<deanIZdean> Viking Taniguchi's car broke down
<deanIZdean> Sambo Asako had to coach his daughter's soccer team
<deanIZdean> MIKAMI with the nice toprope dropkick
<deanIZdean> Ishii is pretty impressive in this
<Rippa> God - Nishida didn't need his neck
<deanIZdean> Nice power arsenal for sucha bad haircut
<Rippa> Ishii is the tiniest Sid in all the land
<deanIZdean> Nishida ROX
<Rippa> tinyest?
<deanIZdean> Nice Somersault Tope
<deanIZdean> MIKAMI with the British sell of the Sasaki Lariat
<deanIZdean> Running Lyger bomb by Sasaki for two
<deanIZdean> Indie roll-up sequence
<deanIZdean> I await the indie hug
<Rippa> you might get it yet
<deanIZdean> Maybe Nishida is KING OF THE INDIE SCUM!
<deanIZdean> MAKAMI with the Swamton
<deanIZdean> SWIMTON
<deanIZdean> WHa?
<deanIZdean> What happened?
<deanIZdean> Psychic DQed?
<Rippa> I have no clue
<Rippa> I am very confused
<Rippa> Welcome to Japan
<deanIZdean> That's how I like my wrestling....
<deanIZdean> baffling
<deanIZdean> Dowes this lead into another match
<Rippa> boy - this is a lotta yammering
<deanIZdean> It's like a ECW PPV
<Rippa> yes
<Rippa> Does that mean the lights are going to be turned off 8 times?
<deanIZdean> YES! It'S JAKE ROBERTS!

Hideki Nishida/MIKAMI vs. Psychic/Tomohiro Ishii
<Rippa> see - now it is Ishii/Psychic vs. Nishida/MAKAMI
<deanIZdean> And so Makami and Nishida take on Psychic and Ishii
<Rippa> something like that :-P
<deanIZdean> Psychic isn't uh....very
<deanIZdean> good
<Rippa> He is the former someone
<Rippa> Fujin?
<Rippa> or something like that
<deanIZdean> I liked him better as Fujin
<deanIZdean> THAT WAS NICE
<deanIZdean> MIKAMI says, "I no longer want to walk!"
<Rippa> That was 2 minutes of filler time
<deanIZdean> Nishida with the supergnarley Facecrusher to get the win
<deanIZdean> That Swanton by MIKAMI at the end was pretty great
<Rippa> yeah
<deanIZdean> The rest was kind of a big batch of shit

Atsushi Onita/Dick Togo/Hideki Hosaka vs. Shoji Nakamaki/Tomoaki Honma/Hido - Street Fight Tornado Death Match
<Rippa> Tanaka is Stoic while working the talk show circuit
<Rippa> Hey - Ohtani
<deanIZdean> that guy
<Rippa> okay - I actually started to FF so I will pass at the bell of the next match
<Rippa> HASHIMOTO!!!!
<deanIZdean> Saito
<Rippa> Why the fuck isn't he wrestling on this show?
<deanIZdean> HOSHIKAWA
<Rippa> Too busy putting over Hotstuff Hernandez?
<deanIZdean> TAKAIWA
<deanIZdean> all of these people will not be appearing tonight
<Rippa> actually - some will
<Rippa> Ohtani/Sato/Hoshikawa are in the main
<deanIZdean> God I REALLY skimmed over this last 500 time
<Rippa> against Masato/Gedo/Jado
<deanIZdean> No way!
<deanIZdean> I hjad forgotten
<Rippa> man - you really need to look at the matchlists next time
<deanIZdean> Hey, it's Honma
<Rippa> Takaiwa though is not wrestling
<deanIZdean> NAKAMAKI
<deanIZdean> SUX~!
<deanIZdean> Hido!
<Rippa> Tanaka says "I would like to put the blast on you nice lady"
<Rippa> just so you know - I am FFing now
<Rippa> Hashimoto just showed up
<deanIZdean> I'm at the Deathmatch
<Rippa> I am getting there
<deanIZdean> ONITA is on this?
<Rippa> You Dont Bring ME FLOWERS ANYMORE!!!!!!!
<Rippa> Yup
<Rippa> the death match is
<Rippa> <Rippa> yeah
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> The rest was kind of a big batch of shit
<Rippa> <Rippa> Tanaka is Stoic while working the talk show circuit
<Rippa> <Rippa> Hey - Ohtani
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> that guy
<Rippa> <Rippa> okay - I actually started to FF so I will pass at the bell of the next match
<Rippa> <Rippa> HASHIMOTO!!!!
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> Saito
<Rippa> <Rippa> Why the fuck isn't he wrestling on this show?
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> HOSHIKAWA
<Rippa> <Rippa> Too busy putting over Hotstuff Hernandez?
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> TAKAIWA
<Rippa> <deanIZdean> all of these people will not be appearing tonight
<deanIZdean> Are Tanaka and Hashimoto dating now?
<Rippa> FRACK
<Rippa> Atsushi Onita/Dick Togo/Hideki Hosaka vs. Shoji Nakamaki/Tomoaki Honma/Hido - Street Fight Tornado Death Match
<Rippa> DICK MOTHERFUCKING TOGO
<deanIZdean> you idiot....
<deanIZdean> DICK TOGO!
<deanIZdean> Where are you/
<Rippa> It will be great - it will be deja vu
<Rippa> I paused in the middle of the countdown
<deanIZdean> Let me rewind
<Rippa> once I restart I will pause at the end of the countdown
<Rippa> we will start there
<deanIZdean> counting
<deanIZdean> now
<Rippa> AWESOME!
<Rippa> Togo starts off wasting Honma with a ladder
<deanIZdean> owie
<Rippa> You should praise the match so Schneider cries again
<deanIZdean> Dick rules
<deanIZdean> Honma is magnificent in this
<Rippa> Onita/Hido brawling in the crowd
<Rippa> Togo/Honma in the ring
<Rippa> Hosaka and Nakamaki are having a snack or something
<deanIZdean> Hosaka with the save
<Rippa> Oh wait - there is Hosaka
<deanIZdean> and they bash on Honma's head
<deanIZdean> Hido and Nakamaki RETURN TO BLOOD!
<Rippa> Onita is grinning way to much
<Rippa> Ugh - was that supposed to be a knee?
<deanIZdean> Talk about shitty W*ING matches reprised in the 01
<deanIZdean> the wandering
<Rippa> Ther's the blood
<Rippa> by Honma
<deanIZdean> the tentative chiar shots
<Rippa> this started off so promising
<deanIZdean> Nakamaki trades punches with Togo
<Rippa> Hey - Asain Cougar
<deanIZdean> This is a heaping pile of Complete Shiot
<deanIZdean> SHIT
<Rippa> Boy - Onita's ass sure broke that table
<deanIZdean> It's like it's before the match and Onita and Honma are going over what they are gonna do in the match
<Rippa> God - did Honma tell everyone to just chuck everything at his skull in this match
<deanIZdean> "Okay, we'll go over to this table... come up here... and I'll give you a piledriver like this- BUT IT WILL BE REAL TONIGHT"
<Rippa> I think Hido is waiting for Jun Kasai to make a run-in
<Rippa> what the fuck is this going to be?
<deanIZdean> Nakamaki is such the drizzling shits
<deanIZdean> God
<deanIZdean> he's fucking horrible
<deanIZdean> SOMEBODY SET HIM ON FIRE
<Rippa> Geez - I am starting to wish I was watching that Tarzan Goto vs. Goro Tsurumi in the year 2002 match I just saw pictures for instead of this
<deanIZdean> This is the worst W*ING match ever
<deanIZdean> This is horrendous
<Rippa> I forgot Dick Togo was in the match
<deanIZdean> Oh, Dick Togo
<deanIZdean> That was nice
<deanIZdean> Fat Ass Senton
<deanIZdean> Honma is trying to drag something out of  Hosaka
<Rippa> Honma "I like the taste of my own blood..."
<deanIZdean> Honma with the missile dropkick
<Rippa> that was a pretty nasty blood spit\
<deanIZdean> Onita with the Thunderfire Powerbombs and you just want it all to just go away
<Rippa> this is like every NJ indy match rolled all into one
<deanIZdean> God, that sucked
<deanIZdean> Onita pins Honma offhandedly and we have one of the shittiest matches in the history of post-FMW Onita
<Rippa> Onita with a Hogan level blade job
<deanIZdean> I wish he would have gotten elected
<deanIZdean> Then he wouldn't be dragging garbage wrestling back ten
<Rippa> Onita WAS elected
<Rippa> Honma bleeding on the mic is pretty great though
<deanIZdean> Honma on the stick saying, "WHERE IS YAMAKAWA?!?!
<Rippa> I am saying "WHERE WAS NISE ONITA?"
<deanIZdean> Then we get the Onita Self-Empowerment Seminar
<deanIZdean> It gets all Robert Blye
<Rippa> cancer stricken Nise Onita would have been so much better than real Onita
<Rippa> I am FF
<deanIZdean> No Onita would be so much better than real Onita
<deanIZdean> Onita is becoming the Ultimate Warrior of Japan
<Rippa> So when does he have the good match with Ulf Herman?
<deanIZdean> HEY! Ohtani
<Rippa> my fast forward is letting me down
<Rippa> where did you pause?

Masato Tanaka/Gedo/Jado vs. Shinjiro Otani/Naohiro Hoshikawa/Kyohei Sato
<Rippa> Main Event time
<deanIZdean> Gedo Jado and Tanaka just entered
<Rippa> I am a little ahead of you - I am looking for a good spot to pause
<deanIZdean> I'm at the introductions
<deanIZdean> Ohtani
<Rippa> so am I
<deanIZdean> gedo
<Rippa> Jado and Gedo just got it
<deanIZdean> Jado
<Rippa> all steamers in the ring
<deanIZdean> Tanaka
<Rippa> see I am ahead of you
<Rippa> I paused and unpaused
<deanIZdean> Everyone is milling around
<deanIZdean> The blond guy is the guy who had the good match with Corino, right?
<deanIZdean> he's fun
<Rippa> bell
<deanIZdean> pause on second
<deanIZdean> Northern Lights by Sato
<deanIZdean> Knees to the ribs
<Rippa> okay I am pausing for two secs
<deanIZdean> Tanaka elbows out
<Rippa> strikes in the corner?
<deanIZdean> Vertical Sup[lexd
<deanIZdean> the RIDE
<Rippa> rear naked choke?
<deanIZdean> Gedo cheating
<Rippa> I love saying that
<deanIZdean> OOO
<Rippa> yeah we are SYNCHED UP!
<deanIZdean> Tanaka will hit ya just like that
<deanIZdean> Jado makes with the Foot Of Straguklation
<deanIZdean> Sato tags in Hosh
<deanIZdean> OW FUCK
<Rippa> AWESOME!
<deanIZdean> Hosh with the running dropkick to Gedo's TEETH
<deanIZdean> Hosh fucking rules
<Rippa> Everyone needs to get on the Hosh bandwagon God dammit
<deanIZdean> Ohtani- getting fat in his old age- like a certain Phil Rippa
<Rippa> Ohtani has that Matthew Perry weight gain going
<Rippa> Hey - I am married and out of shape. I have an excuse
<deanIZdean> You have the Robert Hughes weight gain going
<deanIZdean> Deuling Face Scrapes
<Rippa> its more Marlon Brando before Island of Dr. Moraeu
<deanIZdean> Ohtani vs Tanaka
<deanIZdean> I got the John Cande circa SUMMER RENTALs going
<deanIZdean> Hosh will kick ya in the ribs
<Rippa> Hosh needs to move that elbow drop up to the throat area
<deanIZdean> Elbow Drop wasn't gonna make you forget Bob Sweetan or anything
<deanIZdean> Jado with the Lance Storm chair shot
<Rippa> IM GEDO and IM A DICK!
<deanIZdean> Gedo wants Ohtani and he will toy with Hosh to enrage him
<deanIZdean> Tagteam wrestling
<deanIZdean> I love it
<deanIZdean> I AM YANKIN ON BOTH OF YOUR NOSTRILS!
<deanIZdean> Jado and Hosh get all stiff with the chops
<Rippa> thiS match didnt need a sleeper spot though
<deanIZdean> I wanna see Gedo and Tanaka against Smothers and Armstrong
<deanIZdean> It's so US Pro Style
<deanIZdean> Jado cheating while Gedo distracts the ref
<deanIZdean> Hosh is having flashbacks to being the eternal face in peril in MP
<deanIZdean> Eyerakes, awesome
<deanIZdean> Gedo taunts Ohtani
<deanIZdean> Jawbreaker into a Superkick
<deanIZdean> Gedo IS Terry Taylor in 1986
<deanIZdean> Nice Swinging DDT by Tanaka
<deanIZdean> STEREO Superfly Splashes
<deanIZdean> Hosh with the hottag and OHTANI IS AFIRE!
<deanIZdean> Ohtani picks up Tanaka by his upper palate and they start wailing on each other
<deanIZdean> Tanaka gets the spear and tgoes on offense
<deanIZdean> hitting the gnarliest Rolling Elbow you will see
<deanIZdean> Superplex
<deanIZdean> for two
<deanIZdean> Jado with Ohtani in the Crippler Crossface
<deanIZdean> and this match is losing steam
<deanIZdean> Hosh with the kicks to offense
<deanIZdean> AND RIPPA HAS FALLEN ASLEEP!
<deanIZdean> We'll be right back....
<Rippa> got distractd
<Rippa> sorry
<deanIZdean> I thought you had fallen asleep face first on the keyboard
<Rippa> no - not yet
<deanIZdean> You wanna finish this tomorrow?
<Rippa> Hey - its basically done anyway
<deanIZdean> Oh, well let';s take it home
<deanIZdean> ya wanna resynch somewhere
<Rippa> yeah - hold on
<Rippa> Jado isnt afraid to have the bad teeth
<deanIZdean> How about where Ohtani makes the hot tag
<Rippa> okay - one sec
<deanIZdean> Jaopan is a land of fine teeth
<Rippa> my rewind and FF isnt afraid to be slow
<Rippa> HOT TAG!
<deanIZdean> Hold on
<deanIZdean> I'm at the stereo Superfly Splashes
<deanIZdean> Enzugui
<deanIZdean> NBNOW!
<deanIZdean> German Kick to the face
<deanIZdean> scapy thing
<deanIZdean> SCRAPY
<Rippa> I think I have watched the stero splashes like three times now
<deanIZdean> Teh lifting by the upper palette
<deanIZdean> Elbow vs Kick's to the face
<Rippa> get to the shitty spear
<deanIZdean> YEs not a good spear
<deanIZdean> that Elbow was choice
<Rippa> oh yeah
<deanIZdean> Watch how the match loses steam when Jado hits the Crippler Crossface
<Rippa> I am not really sure what Ontani is trying to sell
<deanIZdean> Ohtani fucks up this entire match
<Rippa> there is a big batch of daylight being shown
<deanIZdean> You gotta show desire to make the hot tag if this kind of match is gonna work
<deanIZdean> Hosh sells his end like a king
<Rippa> man - that hot tag was years ago
<deanIZdean> Hot tag meant nothing
<deanIZdean> it fucked up the whole ending
<Rippa> that was an unneccesary sell
<deanIZdean> Hosh comes back in for a comeback and the heat is gone
<Rippa> or something close to the word unneccessary
<Rippa> HOT TAG #2
<Rippa> Crud - that is just stupid
<Rippa> I AM GOING TO NO SELL EVERYTHING!!!!
<deanIZdean> This match is turning to poooooo
<Rippa> That dropkick was pretty choice
<deanIZdean> nice lariat by Tanaka
<Rippa> the cross armbreaker is very out of place
<Rippa> I mean - there was no working over the arm at all
<deanIZdean> Tanaka isa selling it strongstyle
<Rippa> Hey 3D - that move was so 1999
<Rippa> someone needs to teach Sato to sell something
<deanIZdean> Sato is comepletely lost
<deanIZdean> oooooo  that wasn't very good by the end there
<Rippa> I think the most impressive things was that Jado managed to not hurt himself
<deanIZdean> he waited a week
<deanIZdean> The whole psycholgy of that match was fucked up
<Rippa> "I put on this show, so I will yammer on the STICK~!"
<deanIZdean> The Complete Players are the faces but the wrestle heel
<Rippa> Ohtani is bitching about having to climb stairs
<deanIZdean> they wrestle heel as in work the match Southern heel
<Rippa> God - when did Masato Tanaka become chatty Taz?
<deanIZdean> but the Zero-One guys are wrestling some OTHER style
<Rippa> Hashimoto so needed to be wrestling on this card
<deanIZdean> welcome to six wrestlers on two different pages
<Rippa> it was more than two pages
<Rippa> Sato was reading a completely different book
<deanIZdean> That whole card could have been better
<deanIZdean> the best realized match was Nakiyamma vs Azumi Kyuga
<Rippa> yeah
<deanIZdean> that's not what you want
<Rippa> I mean Hidaka/Cougar wasnt afraid to be the same match they always wrestle
<deanIZdean> the Main Event and the DDT/MP Undercard match should have been WORLDS better
<deanIZdean> Hidaka vs Cougar looks GREAT in comparison
<Rippa> the tag match could have been better without the Psychic nonsense
<deanIZdean> I would recommend this tape
<deanIZdean> no
<deanIZdean> no I wouldn't
<deanIZdean> I would NOT recommend this tape
<Rippa> damn us for getting all the random money mark shows
<deanIZdean> The DDT/Mp match was completely unfocused
<deanIZdean> It was just random wrestling moves the whole show through
<deanIZdean> Let's do another tape tomorrow
<deanIZdean> Or Wednesday
<Rippa> The was one giant Masato Tanaka egofuck
<Rippa> okay - it will make the review HUGE
<deanIZdean> we're all abotu the huge review
<deanIZdean> They should have just had Honma vs Onita
<deanIZdean> instead of the giant clusterfuck
<Rippa> They should have had Nishida wrestling everyone in singles matches
<deanIZdean> Nishida vs Sasaki is what I want
<Rippa> okay - I am out for the night
<Rippa> more tomorrow
<deanIZdean> Cool
<deanIZdean> Night night
<Rippa> later

EIGHTEEN HOURS OF WRESTLING REVIEWED - (PART TWO)
NEW JAPAN WPW- 4/13/2002
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
Pancrase ads look so much cooler when juxtaposed next the reverse window box  of the New Japan on ESPN Japan.  They look like Drive-In theatre trailers.  Hiro Saito carries a rookie to a watchable affair - as the ESPN show is not afraid to show developmental matches of the pikers, so it's quite the mixed bag to get to the non-Inoki ruined sections of New Japan these days.  There are many nearfalls and plenty of fighting spirit to go around.  Hiro clings  to his Senton as a finisher as the rest of us decide to get on with our lives.  Tatsutoshi Goto has exciting new pants and it's good to see him up and about, much less in the ring.  He and young Inoue have an odd match.  Inoue works all US heel with the basic offense and the corner elbow strikes and the rope-assist on tag attempts.  Goto hits a nice Backdrop at 5 minutes to end the Smackdown styled match.  I await the meat of the card.

Minoru Tanaka/ El Samurai/Kakihara/Naruse/ Jushin Thunder Lyger vs THE GREATEST HEEL 10-MAN EVER: Gedo/ Jado/ BLACK MOTHERFUCKING TIGER/ EDDY MOTHERFUCKING GUERRERRO/ KOJI MOTHERFUCKING KANEMOTO
Gedo and Tanaka start off and I'm trying to figure out if this is 2 out of 3 or an Elimination match.  Either way, Minoru gets the flying Cross Armbreaker 30 seconds in for the first fall.  Gedo and Minoru start back and Gedo and they start eventually start beating on Kanemoto - as El hits the assisted Old Man Tope that he follows up with punches directly to the face.  Kakihara tags in and gets trapped in the corner with BT throwing the best punches of the match.  Eddy and Silver King trade slingshot Sentons and you wet your pants with joy. Jado starts kicking him and they all browbeat Kaki in the corner.  Naruse makes the hot tag and does these Ronnie Garvin punches to the chest on Jado.  Naruse goes for the choke and Eddy and Gedo stomp him down and they drag him into the corner and give him the business.  Kanemoto tags in and starts punching him in the face.  Naruse drives Gedo into the face corner and they un-facishly start ripping at his face.  They all take turns double dropkicking Gedo in the face as Lyger Camel Clutches him.  Kakihara hits the Vertical Suplex as they seem to be channelling a Stud Stable vs the Armstrongs 10 man.  Eddy hits the apron Fistdrop to Kaki's head and he and Silver King start working on his leg.  BT hits the fabulous Superkick but Kaki DDTs out of a  Quebradora and Lyger tags is only to get cut off by Kanemoto.  BT, Eddy and Gedo post young Lyger's groin into the post.  Koji starts busting up Lyger's leg and Eddy is awesome putting on the Screaming For Hatred Figure Four.  The heels do the GREAT thing of circling the submission to keep the faces out all the while continuously smacking the ref in the back of the head to get him to ASK HIM! ASK HIM!  This fucking rules.  Eddy is hell on earth on Lyger's knee as he tags in BT who hooks in a kneebar.  Eddy cheats like a motherfucker and is AWWWWWESOME cursing at the ref and the crowd.  Lyger gets the desperation shotay but Eddy fucking rules it by dropkicking his knee to cut him off.   Koji and Lyger battle it out in the middle over the suplex.  Lyger wins the struggle but can't get Kanemoto up and over.  Koji knees him in the fucking head and but misses the moonsault and Lyger finally makes the tag.  El Samurai is all afire- taking on BT and is giving him the biz with the DDT.  BT catches El off the top with a dropkick and Silver king then does the FABULOUS Mortal into a Dropkick to the face.  Eddy comes in and whips El right into the fat ass kicking leg of Koji Kanemoto.  Eddy with a fabulous Brainbuster and recovery of a missed Love Machine Splash but El catches him with a Scorpion Deathdrop to escape and tag Kakihara.  Kaki KILLS Eddy with a side flying kick to the head that Eddy leans into like a KING.  Jado and Minoru tag in and Minoru hits his neato dropkick sequence for two, but Koji Kanemoto makes the save by beating the living dogpiss out of Minoru.  Minoru gets a heelhook on Jado and all hell breaks loose as Jado reverses it into a Crippler Crossface.  Giant face stompdown saves Minoru but Jado hits a Superplex.  Minoru rolls out of the ring and they do the lucha sequence of everybody hitting a big spot on whoever is in the ring with Minoru hitting the missile dropkick and also setting himself up for Jado to reapply the Crossface to get the second fall.  The third fall opens with Lyger hitting Quebradoras on Gedo and Eddy.  Naruse tags in and Jado works him over - cutting off the ring and tagging in the fresh man and everything.  Naruse makes a comeback with his ode to Garvin punches on Kanemoto.  They kick each other in the head and Koji is first up with a Boston Crab.  He then hits a Moonsault but the faces make the save.  Gedo goes for a moonsault but Naruse gets his knees up and tags Minoru.  Minoru and Gedo counter out of some standing switches until Gedo grabs the ref and simultaneously crushes Tanaka's testicles for two.  They throw Tanaka into the corner and hit some lariats and Jado, Gedo and Koji Superplex him off the top.  After a kick out, Jado hits a Lyger Bomb to set up Gedo's Frogsplash for the win.  This match was motherfucking great.

Manabu Nakanishi has a cute new haircut. His match is interrupted by a hurricane warning.  Dan Devine looks like Richard Chamberlain on steroids now.  The match sucked up to the break away to the Osaka Doppler Radar Weather Center- and it won't Manabu's fault.  I'm glad he won.

Yuji Nagata/ Osamu Nishimura vs. Tadao Yasuda/ Yutaka Yoshie
God knows I hate Yoshie.  I love Nagata and Nishimura.  I got no beef with Yusuda.  It's not his fault that he was overpushed.  Anyhoos, Nishimura and Yoshie hit the mat early, as this will be Old School Nishimura's match.  Nagata and Yusuda start off all shooty but get in the old School Slow Build Groove.  Yoshie and Nagata start from an armbar and then a knucklelock until Yoshie's power kicks in.  Nagata counters with  some stiff kicks.  He tags in Nishimura and he and Yoshie do a whole knucklelock dealy.  Yasuda tags in and starts kneeing in the side and THEY do a whole knucklelock into a bridge thingy.  Osamu hits the Keylock and it is 1974 all over again.  Nagata comes in with the suplexes and big kicks.  Yoshie tags in and does some decent fat guy matwork.  Nagata hits the big boot to the face while Yoshie is in the corner and cinches in a toe hold. Yoshie escapes and it's kicks vs forearms.  Nishimura tries to do something with Yoshie- who has gone into "complete load" phase of his game.  Yasuda comes in and it picks up as he suplexes Nagata and Nagata kicks him a bunch.  Nagata salutes into a Nagata lock until Yoshie makes the save.  Yasuda bulls out of a suplex and kicks Nagata in the chest before procuring the Rear Naked Choke until Nishimura makes the save.  Tiger Driver into a side choke by Yasuda and I'm wondering why folks give Yasuda such a ration of shit.  Sleeper Hold reversed into a Anklle thing and Yoshie kick nagata back into another Sleeper.  Nishimura makes the save and Nagata does a big jumpy kick to the head and gets a Cross Armbreaker.  Yasuda bulls into a Triangle Hold and.... A WEATHER UPDATE! Yesssssssss!   When we return Nishimura has busted out a Backslide for two on Yasuda.  Nagata gets to kicking Yasuda.  nagata hits a rear naked choke and it GOES FUCKING BROADWAY!>!>!>!  Well.  Who saw THAT coming?  This wasn't very good, but Yoshie forgot to suck for most of it and Yasuda was actually dynamic in this.  It was just listless and didn't  build to much.  Kinda like wrestling in a vacuum, all the action of wrestling without the psychology of wrestling.  Well, there was psychological implications between Yasuda and Nagata, so it didn't actually suck.  But there wasn't enough of a match to stretch out to 30 minutes.  The weather update should have killed SOME of the dead time.  But it didn't.

Giant Silva/ Giant Singh vs. Scott Norton/ Super J
Okay, I understand now.  If more of the last match means less of this match, then I guess that's fine.  I'll watch this for you.  That's not good.... Silva is definately better than Singh.... that's not good..... and that's not good.... THERE.  You all owe me a quarter.  That sucked it.  Actually, Super J turning on Norton was surprising.  There is your highlight.

I'm gonna watch the Simpsons and some fireworks.

A BIG BATCH OF DDT
(by PHIL SCHNEIDER)
My main man Dan Ball sent me this super D2T mix tape for the 500 and while I scanned it before I finally sat down and watched it, and it is at least always really fun and occasionally really good to.

Sanshiro Takegi / MIKAMI / TOBA vs. Asian Cougar / Asian Condor / Takeshi Sasaki (9/23/01)
This is from Onita Pro so it is basically the wrestling with less of the sleaze. Asian Cougar has a bunch of really great spots which he busts out here, the Senton to the floor onto chairs, various really nasty legdrop variations ect. TOBA sports a pair of boxing gloves and does some sort of worked shooter gimmick, however he is apparently doing an Akira Shoji gimmick because he just spends the entire match getting the holy hell beaten out of him. Also despite the boxing gloves TOBA just slaps the guy he is wrestling instead of throwing punches. Asian Condor is the former Heaven, and I have never really forgiven him for not using Warrant's "Heaven" as entrance music. He also pretty much sucks. MIKAMI is insane, although not as insane as he is in later matches. Takeshi Sasaki is the glue here  as he might be the best guy here. This is a neat match with a bunch of cool spots. Takegi has a nice stunner, I will give him that.

Asian Cougar vs. Takeshi Sasaki (10/30/01)
This was for their 24/7 belt and was falls count anywhere. Dean was pimping this match big although I thought it was pretty underwhelming. The Falls Count Anywhere stip didn't mean much outside of some pins on the floor and a really useless and crappy sub-W*ING arena tour which involved them embracing while slowly walking up a flight of stairs. This was sort of a one man Asian Cougar show, as he breaks out all of his big dives and takes some certifiable bumps including tumbling down some stairs and getting drop kicked off the apron and hurling himself back first four rows into the audience. He also finished the match with a trio of neat looking suplex variations that involved him capturing Sasaki's arm. For a guy I have really liked in other matches Sasaki was pretty useless here.

Fake Sanshiro Icinomiya/Tomshiro Ishii /Gentaro /Yoshiya (X-RAB) vs. MIKAMI/TOBA/ Super Uchu Power / Tomohiko Hashimoto (Team DDT) (10/30/01)
This is an elimination match between the evil X-RAB heel group (Zionists maybe) and our DDT stalwarts. This match had quite the huge quality shifts as there were some totally useless guys in this match and some guys who were totally asskicking. Yoshiya who kind of resembles a Japaneese Bobby Jaggers without the agility, gets bounced quick, although he does run in some, including the worlds most oafish Shining Wizards (which is saying something considering how oafish Muto's often are.) Ishii carries the water for the heel team as he is this flatopped guy who isn't afraid to land on his head, hit really, really nasty corner clotheslines and look down right good- especially compared to his compatriots. For a guy who wears leather pants (which he is constantly attempting to pull up) Fake Sanshiro Icinomiya isn't even Fake Test and is more like Fake J.J. The Ring Crew Guy. I have liked Gentaro before but he looked really bad here as he doesn't hit a single highspot cleanly- including a really experimental looking Asai.

MIKAMI is fucking nuts in this, he hits one of the greatest topes I have ever seen as he goes three rows into the audience before even touching Ishii, everything else he did was really crisp looking, and he was a great face in peril for most of this match. TOBA continued to work his Anthony Macias shooter gimmick as he gets killed the whole match. Uchu Power was kind of underwhelming although he did kick the crap out of some people. Tomohiko Hashimoto was this big fat guy in a gi who looked awful for the majority of this, including doing a late 2000 Nitro level Muta handspring elbow. For a fat guy with the same last name as a great wrestler, he was shittier then Big Slam Vader for 8/10th's of this- although he redeems himself some at the end by killing Ishii with some reckless neck crunching suplexes and even eating a nasty brainbuster.

MIKAMI is left against Ishii and Gentaro, and- like every other babyface in a two on one situation- comes back and gets a flash roll up pin after a heel miscommunication. It is down to MIKAMI vs. Gentaro and Gentaro hits MIKAMI's Swanton in the everyone does his opponents finisher thing in every WWE match. Then- like every WWE match- everyone runs in. Then Uchu Power comes in and cleans house in a "here comes a heel turn" kind of way and then power bombs Gentaro and sets up to powerbomb MIKAMI onto Gentaro for the pin but instead drops him on the mat, so sensiably the Space Jew turns and joins the rabbinical heel stable. Fun, fun match especially MIKAMI.

MIKAMI/TOBA vs. Poison Sawada Julie/ Takeshi Sasaki (12/28/01)
Poison Sawada Julie ostensibly works a drag queen gimmick, but actually works  a Jewish New York Septunigarian with Botox injections who really enjoys going to Broadway matinees, basically a Puroresu Joan Rivers. He and Takagi do a nice Bob Fosse number before the match. MIKAMI and TOBA take it to the street as they come out to Public Enemy. MIKAMI starts big with a huge missle dropkick and a lunatic TAKA dive over the guardrail into the front row. The rest of the match didn't live up to the beginning as Julie is amazing but not in a wrestling way. Susan Naomi seconds Julie and Takagi and shakes maracas during Julies figure four, which was cute. There was also a hypnotism spot which we won't talk about. Everytime Sasaki and MIKAMI were in the match together, it was really great, but the rest left something to be desired. TOBA continues to be Joe Son without the cross, which is fine. Julie does hit this amazing finisher as she tries to hit a Michinoku Driverish thing and ends up spiking TOBA's head on her knee. Didn't look like she tried it, but it looked great.

Poison Sawada Julie vs. Fake Posion Sawada Julie vs. Sanshiro Takegi (1/26/02)
Julie is sans her awesome snakeskin coat ( which if she didn't buy it from a Times Square Sephardim, really should have) as it has been stolen, so she comes out with a Golds Gym Towel wrapped around her shoulders. Fake Poison Sawada Julie (who is the fat guy who I mis-identified as Yoshiya in the elimination tag, I like the Nise Test joke so I am keeping the mistake) comes out with the stolen coat and a valet- who I guess is Nise Susan Naomi. I think one of these ladies is a transexual, which even if it isn't true, freaked out my roomate when I said it. This is total SE in a freaky way which totally smokes all that shitty Gerwitz comedy in WWE. All three of these guys kind of suck, but I still really dug the triple hypnotising, shitty snake charmer chops and crappy Indy stunners. Funny stuff- if far from good. Nise Poison Sawada proves he is a WWE fan by putting a sharpshooter which is even shittier then the Rock's. Million Billion Stars.

Super Uchu Power/Asian Cougar vs. MIKAMI/Takeshi Sasaki (1/26/02)
This was a match where all the titles were on the line, and was probably the best match on this tape. I wasn't into Power much in the elimination match, but he was quite a stiff asskicker in this. MIKAMI continues to fucking rule in a crazy spot guy kind of way. They had a super hot near falls section at the end, with everyone busting out nasty moves, inculding the awesom Vegematic legdrop to the floor by Asian Cougar. They did finish the match on a blown spot as MIKAMI attempted a Tiger fake into a roll up and blew it pretty spectacularly. This was a fun match but it was a spot fest and there are better spots fest every weekend at US Indies all across the country.

Onryu/Asian Cougar vs. MIKAMI/Takeshi Sasaki (3/25/02)
It had been along time since I had seen Onryu, and he looked pretty swank. He was wearing some awesome red leather pants with what appeared to be black paint swatches, and a torn white shirt with graffiti X on it, he looked like an undead Julian Casablancas. This was pretty fun although rather unsubstantial. Onryu is a smart worker as he does a bunch of neat little spots- like pulling the bottom rope away from MIKAMI when he was trying to break a submission. They broke out a ladder near the end (which is Indy bad booking 101) and MIKAMI hits a loony Swanton from the top. Onryu rules and I definitly want to see more of him.

Carlos Amano vs. Toshie Uematsu
Uematsu is all about the Memphis punches.  Amano is about choking folks with a scarf in this.  Amano hits some underhook suplexes and an avalanche.  The fun starts when Uematsu goes for the toprope Wrist-Clutch Suplex that Amano flies off the top to counter into a falling Crossarmbreaker.  They fight for the Dragon and the tiger.  Uematsu's leopard print pants make her look like a 50s burlesque cocktail waitress and a  roll-up finishes her off.

Carlos Amano vs. Sakura Hirota
Hirota dresses like an Olympic skater and this goes about 7 minutes.

Meiko Satomura/ Chikayo Nagashima vs. Chigusa Nagoya/ Aja Kong
Meiko and  Chigusa start off by kicking each other going into roll-ups into trading kneebars.  Aja tags in and starts wrenching Meiko's arm, Mieko fires back with forearms and Aja sells them like Meiko has a few wions over her.  Nagashima and Aja work really well against each other because Aja always feels like there is a need to put on a selling clinic when in with the diminutive Nagashima.  Chigusa is born anew with the trimmer figure and active kicking offense.  Nagashim and Mieko get Chigusa in some trouble and do some toprope stomps to set up Nagashima to try to get the pin.  Aja is fucking brilliant because she drags Chikayo off of Chigusa and half way out of the ring, filled with contempt, to tell the subtext of the story - Aja and Nagashima's history is more importat to her in this match than her storied history with Satomura.  Thus it settles into an almost lucha construction of a well-defined pairing with the tag match.  not that the Aja vs meiko sections are skull-splitting in their harrowing horror.  Aja sells for Nagashima and always tries to prove her versatility as a wrestler when they are in together.  Aja and Meiko in the ring is one-dimensional assbeating and Aja is the absolute MASTER at that aspect.  The wild thing is that Chigusa spectacularly breaks up Satomura's Shining Wizard on Aja with a beautiful dropkick, all leading up to the first section of Nagashima vs Chigusa.  They counter some powerbomb attempts and they collapse into a reverse Frankensteiner by Nagashima into a roll-up FOR THE PIN OVER CHIGUSA.  Awesome.  Run this fued forever.

Akira Hokuto/ Chigusa Nagoya vs. Mayumi Ozaki/ KAORU
They join this as Oz and KAORU are beating Chigusa with boards and poles. KAORU hits a pretty moonsault and OZ follows up with a cuddly Toprope Rolling Senton.  Chigusa breaks Oz's bake to get on offense and tags in the divine Hokuto- who looks to be playing out the string until her retirement two months from this point.  Chigusa's Fame-asser in really cool and gets her team into their comeback until Oz cuts them off with her Urican flurry. KAORU and Hokuto fuck up a rana but brings back flashes of THEIR mindblowing feud as KAORU starts just killing Hokuto with Excaliburs.  Errant urican by Oz get  Chigusa's side on offense for a moment and KAORU blows some more stuff.  Chigusa is the anvil and Hokuto is the hammer in their Doomsday Device and KAORU makes up for earlier sloppiness by taking the Doomsday Device like a CHAMP and make it look like the finisher that it was.

Akira Hokuto/ Mima Shimoda/ Etsuko Mita vs. Mayumi Ozaki/ Dynamite Kansai/ Toshiyo Yamada
Kansai starts beating folks asses before the streamers can even reach the ring.  It's a great visual as a sea of black streamers for Hokuto had engulfed the ring and it looks six ladies fighting to escape a tarpit.  Mita, Shimoda and Hokuto are distaff Kaientai Deluxe - being just the coolest in their complete evil- down to getting Kansai in the Togo Pose position with Hokuto assuming the Togo spot and giving Kansai the pignose.  The middle of the match is all these odd Lucha comedy spot variations: Stereo Romero Specials, The Indian Deathlock Star.  And always with the biting.  Then they have a LCO 2002 highspot train.  Hokuto pulls out of the madcap lucha stylings with a dangerous angle Lyger Driver on Oz and then the toprope Superplex.  And then a German and then the Reverse Northern Lights Bomb.  Kansai returns the hellishness by crushing Hokuto with a Backdrop Driver and Hokuto sells it like she is dead.  KAORU makes a run-in with a board but misses Hokuto and hits Oz, allowing Hokuto to hit a fucking NASTY Northern Lights Bomb and the winning streak to retirement continues.  The fact the she could definately keep wrestling for 10 more years and be just as effective as Stan Hansen into middle age, but I'm old now and I know that it is five times tougher to be a mother than a father if you are going to raise your kids correctly, so hats off to Hokuto for having priorities.

JOSHI 100 (v.3.0) DEBRIEFING - PART ONE
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
Since we got in a jillion tapes for the latest Joshi 100 update (Jon Burr and Chris Trimborn are the motherfucking KINGS!), we didn't want to just leave them as a number on a list and let it go unannotated.  I will now try to mini-review as many of these matches as I can.  I will delete the matches that have been expouned upon already or have absolutely no recollection of.

AZUMI HYUGA vs. POLICEWOMAN - Osaka Pro (1/30/02)
Tom K thought that we should push Policewoman up the list just because she had the fabulous junk in the trunk - and GOD HELP ME, SHE DOES!  It's actually the suddenly "beloved by all who see her" Miyazaki from JWP.  She rocks it without the mask and is kinda inexplicable as to what this gimmick is. Azumi is on fumes here - as she wrestles in every promotion in the entire world. Azumi on auto-pilot is still a-plenty to make this a perfectly acceptable wrestling match.  Miyazaki is better hoodless but this isn't bad in it's indie scumminess.

REINA de REINAS: MARTHA VILLALOBOS/MUJER DEMENTE/MISS JANAETH/HECHICERA LA CHOLA/ IFANNY/CINTHIA MORENO/ESTHER MORENO/LADY APACHE/ LADY RABBIT/ ESTRELLITA/ FUGITIVA - AAA (3/26/02) One-Fall Elimination Match - AAA
This was a Nitro match if Nitro had hired a lot lesser luchadores than they did - but the concept is the same "high spots, a little perfunctory roperunning, high spot train, a few comedy spots, take it home."  Lady Apache rocks and rules in this - as does the Moreno sisters.  Everybody else goes from perfectly acceptable (Tiffany, Janeth) to nearly acceptable (Martha Villalobos - who is sooo close to replacing Kyoko Inoue in the mandatory Refridgerator-Sized Woman Who Wrestles spot on the list; Estrellita) to the Lady Rabbit level of poopiness.

REINA de REINAS FINAL: MARTHA VILLALOBOS vs. MISS JANETH vs. ESTHER MORENO vs. LADY APACHE - AAA (3/26/02)
Lady Apache bumps like a freak to get Martha over in this match.  This was actually pretty good for a Villalobos-based match- who is immobile as ever, but picked it up as much as she could because Lady Apache was pushing her as hard as she could.  The ending was baffling and stupid with AAA sending in the refs to fistfight in between run-in after run-in- all without having the COURTESY of having it all be AAAly weird and GAY while being crappy and stupid.

GeeStar vs Amber Holly - Carolina (4/5/02)
Both of these gals continue to improve with the psychology of their matches - as anyone who hangs around with the Master Of Wrestling Psychology - the Gemini Kid- would do. Their execution is still super indie at this point and they blow too much stuff, but that is easier to fix than a lack of ability to sell- which don't need fixin here.

GeeStar vs. Nicole Starr - Carolina (4/6/02)
I think this was Nicole Starr's first match and the fact that I didn't shutter and collapse in a heap means that GeeStar can actually carry someone.

El Bronco/ Sexie Marie vs. La Tigresa/ Muhammed Musaeed - WWC (2/5/2002)
This match was universally reviled by all who veiwed it. Being that we are PR-style Lovers from the word go, it baffled me as to why this was so unloved. La Tigressa wasn't bad. Sexie Marie on the other hand wasn't even sexy.

ARSION 2/2002
Rena Takase/Yu Yamagata vs. Mima Shimoda/ Etsuko Mita
I love Rena Takase and Yu Yamagata.  I'm glad Yu Yamagata resurfaced after being kicked out of ARSION for being unpopular.  She can fucking wrestle so she should have a job wrestling.  Anyway, the LCO couldn't get up for the Akira Hokuto LCO reunion match so fuck if they were going to be anything worth watching in this.

AZUMI HYUGA vs. BIONIC J
Bionic J is so unjustly maligned. She will bump like a freak and take a beating while selling more than anyone else her size who isn't Aja Kong. Azumi is on fire so this was a decent slab of the professional wrestling.

FABY APACHE vs. AKINO
This match is a jewel.  Faby is all slick and her lucha offense is all tricked-out and cool.  She decided to follow her father's lead and realized that working stiffer is working better.  Her lucha-cum-puro matwork was fun- especially when working off the suddenly super-inspired AKINO/NOKI-A.

GAMI/ RIE TAMADA vs. MICHIKO OMUKAI/ AI FUJITA
GAMI is no longer annoying and is having some really good matches these days.  I love Rie Tamada- so this match actually lifts itself over the eternal liability that ARSION calls Michiko Omukai.  Ai Fujita looks fucking great in this and makes up for her fellow Cyber-Junk looking lost 50% of the time.

LIONNESS ASKA vs. MARIKO YOSHIDA
Phil Schneider - Lionness mark from way back inna day - hated this match so much that he couldn't watch wrestling for three days. I thought it was a bit disappointing also.

ARSION 5/11/2002
Reina Takase/ Kaori Yoneyama vs. Mika Nishio/ Saki Maemura vs. Maru / Chitose Yamamoto vs. Mari Kuwata/ Mako Ogawa
This was an early favorite match of mine because we could say "They are definately on because we SAW them!"  Luckily, all of these but Chitose Yamamoto showed up elsewhere in the Tape Scouring to further delinate there placement because this match is in actuality 2:00 minutes of highlights of dropkicks.  I wouldn't be able to pick out Chitose Yamamoto in a line-up.  I confess... I coooonfess... mylife'snotoverpleasegetoutIknowI'mshoutingIliketoshout!

BABY A vs. LADY PENTAGON
This was mask vs mask. I don't know why Lady Pentagon is so universally reviled in the DVDVR Joshi 100 Chanber.  She is a really good rudo and her offense is pretty fricking high end.  She rudoed like a motherfucker for the Most Adorable Spot-Machine On Earth. The only thing that pissed me off is that they don't announce Lady Pentagon's name after she is unmasked. And who clips a mask vs mask match? The FUCK?

ARSION 5/2002
MOMOE NAKANISHI vs. AKINO
The Momoe In ARSION matches were fucking great. I think my assorted problems with the lil fireplug from AJW leaves when she leaves the confines of the AJW style. When she was in with Ai Fujita- and Noki-A here, the submission base of the matches transcend the hour-long two-count marathons she would have if left to her own devices.  She should jump.  She rocked against any and all ARSION.

MARIKO YOSHIDA /GAMI/ HIROSHI OGAWA vs. YUMIKO HOTTA/ NANAE TAKAHASHI
I used to love Yumiko Hotta back in the olden days.  She was all intense and stiff and would get really fired up for matches.  Here, it's like she's Jimmy Hart and Hiroshi Ogawa is Man Cow- but with Man Cow owning a Joshi promotion.  What a complete waste of a kick ass match between Yoshida and vastly improved Nanae Takahashi.

MICHIKO OHMUKAI vs. LIONESS ASUKA
I wanted to like Ohmukai in this because she was really trying not to fuck everything up.  Lioness was trying to make her look all lethal and shit.  If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

AJW 4/28/2002
EAGLE SAWAI/TOMOKO WATANABE/TAKAKO INOUE vs. NANAE TAKAHASHI/KAYO NOUMI/ MIKA NISHIO
This was the best Tomoko Watanabe match of the time period. She carried the Sisters Of Thy Eternal Eating Disorder to a good match and made Nanae look all monstrous and deadly.  I think many of us lost our love for Eagle in this match- though she wasn't horrendous or anything, she definately wasn't busting her big fat giant fat gigantic ass like in the time period before.  Takako was wearing the Cowboy get-up that sent the Nagano Hand Emolient Corporation's stocks straight through the roof.

SAKI MAEMURA vs. AYAKO SATO
I'm assuming one of these two retired- as it seems that every rookie in AJW retired.

KAORU ITO vs. KUMIKO MAEKAWA
I know I watched this. My blind hatred of Maekawa at this point is blocking out all memory.

MANAMI TOYOTA vs. MIYUKI FUJII
See! Manami rules it in her decrepitude!  Actually, Fujii has been vastly improved as of recently so that combined with the focused, more psychologically sound in the ring Toyota made for a good little wrestling match.

YUMIKO HOTTA/ MOMOE NAKANISHI vs. RIE TAMADA/ AI FUJITA
Hotta ruined everything this time period- including Momoe's peripheral forays into ARSIONia.

JWP 12/9/2001
KOBINO ISHIKAWA vs KORI YONEYAMA vs YUKA NAKAMURA
Kobino Ishikawa was the Darling of the Chamber of 100 this go round so she of course retired immediately.  Yoneyama was a super fun little worker in JWP and in ARSION this go round.  Yuka Nakamura I'm drawing a blank on.

CARLOS AMANO vs TSUBASA KURAGAKI
Tsubasa Kuragaki would have been the stand-out most improved of the time period if Noki-A, Azumi Hyuga, Nanae Takahashi and Misae Genki didn't have such a GIGANTOR six monthsish of wrestling.  This match versus Carlos was all kindsa fun.  Carlos fucking rocks once you get her closer to the top of the card and off the GAEA editing room floor.

COMMANDER BOIRSHOI vs KAYOKO HARUYAMA
Boirshoi in JWP is the only Boirshoi worth seeing- as she ditches the comedy routine and basically wrestles like she did when Hikari Fukuoka's reign was winding down- except with less of an underdog position and more of a wily veteran position.  Kayoko Haruyama is one of my favorites- but it might be struggling pants typing.

MISAE GENKI vs RAN YUYU
This might have been my favorite match of the time period.  Ran YuYu vs Azumi and Hirota/Chigusa vs OZ/KAORU probably edge this out,  but it's like it wasn't from a JWP card but from a special edition of the Gorgeous Ladies Of BattlARTS.  They REALLY beat the living dogshit out of each other and it is fucking great.  YuYu counters a Spear with knee to the face and Genkie just fucking leans into it like a champ and you go, "HOLY FUCKING FUCK."  And the forearm exchanges were like Ikeda vs Ishikawa 99.  It's fucking harrowing.

GAMI vs AZUMI HYUGA
See, this match was a great acquittal of GAMI as a suck ass.  This match is really good- as she and Azumi trade submissions before trying to destroy each other byraring back and wailing on each other.  The spectacularness of the match preceding it overshadows it though and GAMI doesn't get the love she deserves because of it.

ARSION 3/19/2002
Faby Apache/ Mary Apache vs Mariko Yoshida/ Yuu Yamagata
This was fun. Mary is filled with New Mommy Hate and manifests itself with lariats that say, "I haven't slept so YOU DIE!"  Faby was deeply in the Faby Zone of tricked out armdrags and I was filled with joyous joy of joy.

MOMOE NAKANISHI vs AI FUJITA
This wasn't as good as the Momoe vs Noki-A match but it was the same basic deal.  Momoe adapts and masters a slight variation of her basic style and makes for better wrestling.  Ai Fujita is fast becoming the meteoric superstar in every possible way (other than her comical hairstyle.)

ARSION 3/26/2002
MARIKO YOSHIDA vs NOKI-A
This was good but wasn't as good as I was expecting it to be- considering Yoshida is Yoshida and Noki-A was on such hot streak.  I believe in the Chamber we were giving everybody one German Suplex to no-sell before we start dropping folks down the list.  Luckily they stop at one.  But that one sequence was enough to make this less than what it should have been.

ARSION 4/24/02
GAMI/ BIONIC J/ PIKO vs. Azumi Hyuga/ Ran Yu-Yu/ Tsubasa Kuragaki
This was fun but you want the Ran YuYu Main Eventing Version, the Azumi Hyuga Main Eventing Version, the Commander Boirshoi Straight-Up Wrestling Version and the GAMI Not Going Cheap Laffs Version.  No no no and no.

Lioness Asuka/ Noki-A/ Faby Apache/ Mary Apache vs Michiko Omukai/ Rie Tamada/ Mariko Yoshida/ Baby A (Elimination Match)
This match rocks and was the best match of the time period before the Ran YuYu and the June GAEA showed up.

NEO 11/20/02
Yuki Miyazaki/Tanny Mouse vs Acute Sae/My Kitty
My Kitty is Acute Sae stuffed kitty (and she outworks Tanny Mouse! Thank you, Rev Ray! I will be stealing your jokes liberally the rest of my life!)  This match lasts about 3 hours 47 minutes.

Chapparita ASARI /Yuka Shiina vs Hiromi Yagi/Marcela
Yagi wasn't filling me the special feeling she used to fill me with and Marcela is the best woman wrestler to ever come out of Big Japan.  Oh yeah.  Feel free to wait for the Shiina vs ASARI match which was actually memorable.

Ran Yu-Yu vs Yoshiko Tamura
The least of all the big Ran YuYu singles matches included in the canon for this time period.

Kyoko Inoue vs Lioness Asuka
When Lioness can't drag a good matchout of Kyoko anymore, it's time to hang up the multi-colored tights.

JWP 12/18/2001
Command Boirshoi vs Kaori Yoneyama
Boirshoi does like an Education and Discipline match with Yoneyama but to a level-headed, slight degree so it wasn't boring and stupid.  Yoneyama is all spunky and Boirshoi guided her along.  Perfectly fine.

Kayoko Haruyama/ Sumie Sakai vs Kobina Ishikawa/ Ran Maru
This has a game of tag in it.  Yes. Yes it does.  Child-Like Whimsey, please meet my fast forward button.  (Actually, I HAD to watch this.  It had the beloved Kobina "Acute Sae" Ishikawa AND pants-punishing Haruyama.  It wasn't horrible at all.)

Yuki Miyazaki vs Tsubasa Kuragaki
This was really good and went a long way in the Herculean push that me, Scott and Tom gave Miyazaki up the list- only to be cut off by everybody else.  Tom's heart had it's own reasons.  Tsubasa is fucking great.  Talk about being a really good  bulky Luchadora mixed with fun Puro aspects...

Carlos Amano vs Ran Yu Yu
This was SUPER fun.  Amano in full inspired submission mode.  Ran YuYu beating her to within an inch of her life.  What the fuck else could you want?  Nothing.  Trust me.

JWP 1/7/02
RAN YuYu vs AZUMI HYUGA
This fucking ruled.  Azumi has hit a plateau that began with her ZION Tournament matches in ARSION last year.  Here she is at her full powers, feeding off the hate and stiffness of Ran YuYu to make one of the better underdog versus ass-stomper matches you will see because Azumi is all about gathering up truly hideous offense and retaliating with it as a response to each flurry of ass-beating that YuYu unleashes.  Maybe this was the best match of the time period.  Azumi is fucking great in this. After this, I had Hyuga higher than YuYu and it took the sheer hellish ass-stomp of Genki vs YuYu to make me go along with YuYu higher than Azumi.  Great fucking match.

NEO 12/7/01
JUNKO YAGI vs YURIYA
What happened to the Yagi of my youth that would have made this a good match? This match made my stomach hurt.

YUKI MIYAZAKI/ TANNY MOUSE vs. ACUTE SAE/ CHIAKI NISHI
This was the beginning of the My Kitty saga and it lasts twice as long as Once Upon A Time in The West.  Tanny Mouse gives a plushtoy the business and it morphs into some sort of step-ladder match or something.  It's really long.  You should really reel the Tanny Mouse match in at 8 minutes- even it does have the darling of the DVDVR Acute Sae and the fabulous butt of Yuki Miyazaki.

CHAPPARITA ASARI vs YUKA SHIINA
I was oversold on this by Trocar Slosh Weasel in his post so I was not as blown away by this as I should have been.  Fine matwork and I'm glad to actually see Shiina wrestle somewhere because the last time I saw her was wrestling for the WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title against Toshie Uematsue.  I didn't make me forget about the existence of Johnny Saint or Blue Panther or anything, but good matwork nonetheless.

YOSHIKO TAMURA vs KYOKO INOUE vs LIONESS ASUKA vs MIMA SHIMODA vs MISAE GENKI vs RAN Yu-Yu
This match thoroughly rocks.  Lioness is absolutely skullcrushing in this- bringing the ass-stomp like she is less and less of these days.  Misae Genki is fun in this with the Highspots Built For Folk Far Smaller Than She Is highspots- as opposed to grim and beautiful Genki from the YuYu singles match.  Kyoko is servicable at the end when she hits lariats but everything else she does in the match is a wash.  Tamura is pretty savage and fabulous kneeing motherfuckers in the head in the corner.

KIRYOKU PRO 6/28/2002
QUEEN BEE vs TRINITY
Aw man, Trinity isn't good in this.

LEXY FYFE vs MERCEDES MARTINEZ
Lexy Fyfe looked better against Mighty Heidi and I'm not sold on Mercedes Martinez after this match and the first Martinez vs Sakai match.  I GOT OVERSOLD ON HER! I BLAME RIPPA.

LITTLE JEANIE vs SUMIE SAKAI
This was a good match.  I got absolutely no beef with Little Jeanie in this- as she went a little heelish and let Sumie be Sumie.  Sumie Sakai is too much fun to be believed in her stateside respite.

ARSION 7/4/2002
RENA TAKASE vs. SAKI MAEMURA
All I really remember from this match is that Rena Takase gave AJW Rookie dropkick girl waaaaaay too much offense and made this 8 minute match seem like a 30 minute time limit draw.

MARY APACHE vs. FABY APACHE
This is good and neato.  Faby is feeling it here and Mary kills her sister with a "You Drew All Over My Barbie With A Magic Marker When We Were 8" Lariat of painful painfulness.  Faby does the Angel Azteca full rotation armdrag to make me weep loves easy tears.

BIONIC J/ TAYLOR MATHENY/ CHEERLEADER MELISSA vs. MARIKO YOSHIDA/ KAORI YONEYAMA/ Baby A
The Yoneyama rattelsnake gimmick is very odd.  The evil Americans should have beaten everyone to death with chairs to get them over as crazed bitches unleashed on the island of Japan.  Instead they get kinda persnickity and introduce themselves and flip off their opponents.  If they wanted real heel heat in Japan, you do what Sugar and Nagashima did when they wrestled Tamura and Tamada in AJW - YOU FLIP OFF THE FANS.  Either way, J/Melissa/ Taylor could be a pretty over stable if the develop the ring chops to hang in ARSION.  Melissa looked the better of the two new Americans - as she traded shots with Yoshida and didn't look completely lost on the mat.  Yoshida pretty much had wrestle for Taylor when she was in.  The whole thing was promising though.  It's good to get the All American gals in a Japanese ring and get them some seasoning.

RIE TAMADA vs. NANAE TAKAHASHI
Nanae is on such a roll.  I like Rie Tamada so you can all go to hell and I liked her in this match- as she and Nanae traded Germans for a while and it was perfectly acceptable Professional Wrestling.

LIONESS ASUKA/ GAMI/ Noki-A vs. MICHIKO OHMUKAI
Noki-A gets mad at Ohmukai for accidentally hitting her a few times and turns on Ohmukai, so Lioness, GAMI and Noki-A just beat the hell out of Ohmukai for a really long time no apparent reason.  I can't really figure out what it was supposed to accomplish. Isn't Ohmukai the heel in this?  A waste of time.

GAEA 6/02
MAYUMI OZAKI/ KAORU vs.CHIGUSA NAGAYO/ SAKURA HIROTA
This was probably my favorite match of the time period.  It was so Memphis.  OZ and KAORU decide to put an end to Hirota the Funny Girl by ripping up her props, not being enchanted her comedy antics and by carving her up like a pumpkin on October 27th.  Hirota hits a true 9 star gusher and responds by fighting like a motherfucker after withstanding a totally heat-soaked heat-segment- as OZ and KAORU beat the living dogshit out of her.  Chigusa is enraged and fights like a motherfucker until Hirota can recover and show her fighting spirit.  It's classic Southern Professional Wrestling and this match fucking rocked it.  Hirota carried the match and fucking RULED in it.

CHIKAYO NAGASHIMA vs. SUGAR SATO
If this wasn't clipped, I'm betting it would have gotten Sugar higher.  It played to her brawling strength and God knows that Nagashima can brawl like a motherfucker.  But it was clipped.  There you go.

AYAKO HAMADA vs. CARLOS AMANO
I thought this good despite the questionable selling by Ayako.  Carlos was pretty fired up in this and was pretty game to take it to the mat with Ayako.

CHIKAYO NAGASHIMA vs. AYAKO HAMADA
This was clipped to hell but was a good precurser to the match where I'm assuming Nagashima drops the belt to Ayako and then drops it back to Meiko Satomura in May.

CHIKAYO NAGASHIMA vs. MEIKO SATOMURA
This was really fucking great.  Meiko beats the shit out of Nagashima.  Nagashima fights back with submissions and then they kill each other for the final five minutes.  Too many nearfalls and not close to being as good as the Aja or Hokuto classic matches that Meiko has had, but a damn good match.

Jd 4/2002
MARU vs Mari Kuwada
God, is there some kind of famine in Japan?  Somebody feed these women.

EMI TOJYO vs MIZUHO ISHIKAWA
Jesus Christ, do we need to send the Red Cross in or something.  These two can't weight more than 70 pounds each.

THE BLOODY vs SACHIE ABE
Kind of a plodding, pedestrian affair and not the usual fireworks I expect from a Bloody match.  Abe was right in the middle of all Joshi Puroresu.

OBACCHI IIZUKI vs YUMI OHKA
Ohka is irresistably lovable as underfed schoolgirl Osaka Midnight Choking material but she can't really wrestle yet.  And Obacchi isn't gonna take it up a notch.

MEGUMI YABUSHITA vs HIROYO MUTO
I liked this match.  Yabushita carries Muto and Muto doesn't fuck anything up and doesn't look completely smoked hitting submissions against an original Judo Girl.

JWP 3/10/2002
TSUBASA KURAGAKI vs ERIKA WATANABE
Erika is really green and her not leaning into Tsubasa's headbutts is probably not a fair assessment of young Erika, but it's the first thing that comes to mind when I think of this match.

YUKI MIYAZAKI vs KOBINA ISHIKAWA
This was a good little match.  I remeber very little else about it.

YOSHIYO TAMURA vs KAORI YONEYAMA
I didn't understand why this was a main event.  Tamura sells in this like she auditioning for the LCO in their Special No-Selling The Youngsters division.

Jd' 3/22/2002
MIMA SHIMODA/ ETSUKO MITA vs SACHIE ABE/KAZUKI
Sheesh.  This sucked dick.

FANG SUZUKI vs The BLOODY
This match was.... problematic.  Fang looked really good hitting her power offense and the Bloody ate it like a piece a cake.  The match really sucked shit when they started brawling, which is weird because Fang was in the Maddog Military stable at one point and everything (not that any of those august lady wrestlers could do anything in or out of the ring) and the Bloody can brawl like a motherfucker from way back.  I think the fact the Japanese Ladder Match Block was in full effect because the lader sequence sunk this match more than anything else.

I give TomK a call and he comes over and we pop in the CZW show, my thoughts of doing an entire show report are dashed during the Nick Berk/Ty Street vs. two teams of  CZW rookies three way dance. I did get to see CZW Joshi, I expected CZW Women's wrestling to be just like AJW, considering AJW is like CZW men's wrestling, but Lacey and Rain didn't kick out of 1000 finishers. It wasn't good or anything but stylistically surprising.

The premise behind the four way match is the old Memphis style multiple stips match, if Justice Pain gets pinned he loses the World Title, if Flash gets pinned he loses the Iron Man title, Mondo gets loser leaves town, and if Messiah gets pinned his girlfriend Kristi Myst has to fuck Lobo who is the fake owner. Of course the loser leaves town stips and title belts all have significance, but Kristi Myst, I mean she was a Rob Black porn star. Fucking Lobo must be cake compared to the sick shit Rob Black has porn stars do, plus when she was a Feinstein beard I am sure she had to fuck Dougie while Rob watched and jerked off. Although I imagine if Messiah had lost, Myst would have actually fucked Lobo, then CZW could brag about living up to its stips like Russo used to do.

The stips do make the psych of the match confusing, why would the two faces Messiah and Mondo try to pin each other? Why would Mondo want Myst to spread it for the heel promoter? And why would Messiah want Mondo to leave town? Also it makes no sense for either heel to brake up a pin on either face, if Pain pins Mondo, Mondo is gone and Pain keeps his belt, so why would he break up that pin. No one thought that deeply, so they did a bunch of things against their self interest. Although I don't think anyone in CZW is working a "smart person" gimmick so I guess I can forgive lack of logic.

The match starts with some in ring brawling sections, the section between Mondo and Messiah is the best as Messiah has some nice punches and Mondo has really sweet looking worked punches and kicks. However nice punches and some bumps is all that Messiah has to contribute as he looks super shitty in everything else, this might be an anomaly, but he looked pretty useless and untrained here, and was easily the least guy in the match.

The nonsense kicks in early as Adam Flash's Rachie partner Doomsday Danny Rose runs in with Powder and throws it in Messiah's eyes. Myst runs in (possibly in an attempt to snort the powder) and ends up getting Hawaiian Smashed by a blinded Messiah (although I find the idea that he couldn't recognize her rock hard sensationless nipples poking his shoulders ludicrous). There was no booking purpose at all in this little display, just Kristi Myst doing what she does best, getting beat on and hurt so that perverted sadist can have something to fantasize while soiling his mothers pillowcases. Myst has been the repository for the evil in men's minds for a long time so I imagine sucking up some psychic sickness from the CZW arena scum might be a public service. Maybe it will keep some 16 year old goth girl from getting roofied and her anus burned by cigarettes by the goateed guy in the second row.

The next big section had Mondo and Messiah brawling to the Eagle's Nest (home of thousands of ill advised New Jack dives) and Mondo throwing Messiah off the stage through a barbed wire table. This was a huge nasty bump and the kind of thing that makes a garbage match like this memorable. However, who ever laid this out, has it outshined 90 seconds later when Justice Pain tosses Adam Flash off a scaffold onto a stack of folded tables, which was also a monster bump. This is about 20 minutes into the match and kills the flow of the match completely as they work for about another 40 minutes after those bumps without doing anything to trump them. I suppose it would have made sense if it was an excuse to put out Flash and Messiah for 15 minutes or so and have Mondo and Pain work a singles section, but both guys were back in the ring, no worse for wear 5 minutes later.

The next 40 are sort of a blur. Just a big bunch of finishers being hit, pins being broken up, rinse and repeat forever. The finish sucked too, as they go to a draw with out building any match flow (minute 57 was basically indistinguishable from minute 37.) This finish had the crowd chanting "bullshit" (which is exactly the response you want for a 60 minute match where the four guys murdered each other.) Then Messiah, who is apparently not content with escaping with his girlfriend not whored out, says some nonsense about "hardcore" and "busting ass"  (not the ass busting Myst would be subjected to if he got pinned) and they do the cheap ass overtime. The overtime ends with both Flash and Pain being simultaneously put through tables for a shitty double pin losing their belts.

This match sucked. Pain gets pimped for being able to lay out a compelling match but this was a total mess, which pretty much killed the crowd, didn't have close to the drama or heat a match like this is guaranteed. Way too long for one, as the last 35 minutes or so was just a mess. This would have been a decent 25 minute match, not great, but fine U.S. garbage work. As a one hour match it was down right painful. No one came out of this looking good, but I will give props to Adam Flash who bumped more then I have ever seen him bump in all of his previous matches combined. Fuck you, Wes.

RIC FLAIR vs. ARN ANDERSON - WCW NITRO (95ish I am guessing. I am too lazy to weed through CRZ's recaps at the moment. Oh okay. 11/9/95, Chicago, IL)
(by PHIL RIPPA)
Meandering through the permanent tapes, this match appeared and Dean described it on the woefully unupdated (just like the Big Book of Wrestling Moves) as being the “World’s Gentlest Cage Match”. Having gone through this tape several times, I still could not recall a single thing about the match. (I must still be blinded by the Kensuke Sasuke/Masa Saito vs. Southern Posse match on the same tape). Your very special episode of Nitro finds the gang broadcasting from Chicago, all of them wearing Bears jerseys and Bischoff shameless sucking up to Kevin Butler. Yes, I said Kevin Butler. This match reminds me why I am glad that I missed a lot of prime time wrestling during my college years due to the lack of cable in the dorms. Bischoff and Mongo scream a lot. Anderson and Flair through some good looking chops but don’t do much else. You get a giant commerical break. Anderson tries to make it a true cage match by openly blading on camera but fails to actually draw any blood. Brian Pillman takes the biggest bump of the match as – in the beginning of his loose cannon gimmick – rushes the cage and tries to get him. Flair punches him off and Pillman takes the “I’m hopped up on a lot of different things” tumble to the floor. Crowd chants “Hogan sucks” a lot, though he is nowhere to be found in this match. Finish is about what you would expect from an early episode of Nitro. Ref is distracted. Anderson plasters Flair with an international object while Flair is going for the Figure Four and gets the 1-2-3. Gentle? I am not so sure. At least the chops were nice. Granted, they did throw some punches that looked like their were trying not to mess the others hair. I would probably file this under rushed and poorly booked. I would love to see a real cage match between the two. With some crowd heat and some blood and a nice straight clean finish. But this was WCW, bunch of fucking morons.

KAZUNORI YOSHIDA vs HIROSHI WATANABE - EAGLE PRO CRUISERWEIGHT TOURNEY (7/23/2000)
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
(An annoying conceptual writing)  "Keep Yourself Alive," is all Watanabe would say under his breath as he drove to the bingo parlor, his shabby Toyota Corona not Doing All Right and barely keeping the rain out as he pulled into the parking lot.  Great King Rat- the Eagle promoter was figuring out some way to fuck Watanabe out of his money.  Watanabe knew this and greeted his agent to the ring with disdain. "My Fairy King, am I getting my 25 bucks or are you once again proving yourself to be a Liar?  The Night Comes Down to me and one of your boys, don't think that I won't shoot on him and make him never draw another dime for you again if I think you are fucking me around..."

"Big words for such a tiny man.  You kids and your Modern Times Rock And Roll- I remember back when a young two-bit punk like you would have respect for his elders- or at least have respect for my connections.

"I know about you and your connections.  I remember back when a man your age would take care of his Son And Daughter by not endangering them by flaunting his underworld cheapshit connections to any and every person he could try to impress with them.  Jesus, you are a pathetic, impotent old man."

A greasy smile crossed the Eagle Promoter's lips and just as quickly turned to cryptic steeled face.  "You get your friend Yoshida in the first round.  If you get past him, you better watch your step with my boys or by the Seven Seas Of Rhye, I'll  . . . "

"Save it, grampa."

Meanwhile,  in the lockerroom, Yoshida was concentrating on his new finisher- the Brighton Rock Driver 99- when Watanabe came up to him.

"Hey, Yoshida our pimp-daddy public enema king rat Killer Queen say we get a go at each other tonight."

Yoshida was a layabout, a slacker, a Tenement Funster willing to dive out of the ring onto to his neck for whatever paltry sum the promoter had left over after paying the "name"- usually the name being eternal warts on the ass of puroresu Goro Trusumi or Nakamaki.  He and Watanabe were tight and he was stoked about working him even if it was in Eagle in front of 70 people.

"Watanabe, old son, it is going to be a fine match.  I know that you could rip my tendons apart with your shoot stylings in just a Flick Of The Wrist.  Will it be enough for my deep love of the Luchadores and my mastery of their wreckless highflying?  Can you counter my lucha submissions? The Lily Of The Valley doesn't know..."

The bingo hall was filling up and the it was an impressive crowd considering it was basically the Japanese equivalent of a flea market crowd and Yakuza wannabes.   Watanabe stepped into the ring. "Now I'm Here.  I must summon my
fighting spirit for these who have paid money to see me wrestle and to prove to my friend Yoshida that I can hold up my end.  The rest I leave In The Lap Of The Gods."

Sometimes at the bigger shows with TV to back the story of the match, Japanese crowds can go Stone Cold Crazy and be as out of control as any Puerto Rican crowd at Roberto Clemente stadium but here in the bottom feedingest of indies
they best you can get is a handfull of streamers and some slightly impatient looks by the audience and that is what their introductions are met with.

"Yoshida! It is always a thrill to beat the hell out of Dear Friends!  Good luck to you and you will need it as I dominate you!"  Yoshida smiled his boyish smile and entered the ring.

"Your taunts are to make me Misfire and give you a quick advantage.  I see through you, old drunken whorehound friend of mine! FEEL MY STEEL AND BRING BACK THAT LEROY BROWN!  Where is Grace?  I thought she was reffing tonight."

The ref smiled and said, "She's here but She Makes Me do the two-bit matches in the undercard."  All three laughed and Yoshida fired back, "Three-way juice with hardway on the ref bump would REALLY make this match, don't ya think, Watanabe you old pig-fucker?"

"The heat would suddenly be through the roof, my indiscriminate mounter of anything with a pulse.  The fate of our poor unbathed referree is in In The Lap Of The Gods...Revisited!"

They laughed before steeling their face for the grim match that was about to begin.  The match starts with a Procession of old school spots out of the headlock into shoulderblock- the staples of the artform passed from Father To Son- from time immortum. Watanabe is the opposite of the DDT White Queen At Carnivale Sports Entertainment freakishness with his black trunks, tossled hair and simple black boots.  He is sports entertaining in his fabulous spinning ground assault.  Some Day One Day, he will be a big time junior heavyweight as he slips back and forth between Puro Junior