Welcome to The Death Valley Driver Video Review Issue #130

Before TomK and Schneider started stumbling down the unemployment line, they suggested that we celebrate the fact that we are some of the most accepting folks around. So we decided to devote an entire issue to LETTING OUR RAINBOW FREAK FLAG FLY. Throughout the issue, we will celebrate our brothers and sisters who fly in the face of conventional beliefs and give the world of professional wrestling a big old smooch on the lips. (This also was an attempt to give Tom an excuse to review the Gay British Wrestling but that didn't happen.) Appropriately enough we also celebrate the best women's wrestler in the world today - LIONESS ASUKA! So if you don't like it, you can suck on these. My reviews were done four weeks ago and I am putting this sucker together, so I go first. ME! ME! ME!

@!@!@!@!@! Universal Pro Wrestling – “Power Play” (5/30/01)
(by Phil Rippa)

I was torn between the two new shows that popped up on the UPW webcast. The June show has the entire Guerrero family. But this show had MOTHERFUCKING Hoshikawa vs. Horseshu – a dream match on my computer screen. So I figured “Hell, the boss is on vacation for a week. I will review both.”

Thank God for the poor lighting because I don’t even want to dream what that shot of Roland Alexander would have looked like in natural light (Love ya Roland but that camera angle invaded a lot of people’s personal space.)

Donovan Morgan/Mike Modest (APW) vs. The Ultimate Army (Nathan Jones/John Heidenriech) (UPW)
Now, this is more like it for a Cross Promotional match. I have said it before and I will say it a million times over. Sometimes simple wrestling is the best wrestling. This match is a perfect example. A tale of the little wrestling tag team versus the giant power team. Jones and Big John have the clear advantage in size and the utilize this to dominate the early portions of the match. And since Morgan and Modest are both experienced enough, they know how to properly manipulate the match so their opponents “strengths” are emphasized (for example: feeding themselves for the big boots and the press slams.) You then move to the next portion of the match, which consists of the APW team working over Heidenriech’s leg (one of the 5 points of balance as Gordon Solie used to say). Big John earns some goodwill with me as he sells the knee for the rest of the match. Last time it was Nathan Jones who impressed me. This time it was Big John. I can’t wait for the match where both of them are “on” - if that is ever possible. Anyway, Morgan and Modest can’t put away Heidenriech and they make the mistake on not keeping him on the ground. So when he finally gets the hot tag to Jones, they know, you know and I know that they are in deep shit because they now have to breakdown another big guy and they need the opening to do so first. That opening never presents itself and a double chokeslam (the Ultimate Ride) later and the UPW wins one for the home crowd. Very nice indeed.

Big John sells the knee throughout the Ultimate Army promo too. That's how you do it kids.

“Tempting” Devon Willis vs. B-Boy vs. Prodigy – Lightweight Championship
Oh Boy! How I love me some three-way dances. Prodigy is the champ while Devon Willis is a member of PHAT (Pretty Hot and Tempting) and B-Boy is amazingly still a part of the Manilla Thrillaz. This is your typical three-way spotfest and to add to that crraazzzzyyy feeling, all the tag team partners (Andy Van Dam, Billy Kim and whoever the hell Willis' partner is... umm... Erik... that's his name) get involved and so there is some liberal double teaming. B-Boy becomes the new champ in an amazingly short match, which might be for the best considering no one had the chance to kill themselves trying to leap off the top of the building.

You’ve got your usual in-ring blathering here. (Actually, they are setting up the Josh Wilcox/Adam Pearce match that I was afraid was going to happen after the April show.)

We hit the Soul Train Dance Line Here. Fun if you are casting for Fosse. Bad for Phil who only has a limited number of hours in his life left. Damn High Blood Pressure.

Definition of Pain (Al Katraz/Bad Boy Basil) vs. G.A.Y. (“Super Cute” Preston Scott/”Ultra Hot” J.C.)
I really want to know what sort of work release program DOP is on that allows them to keep wrestling all the time. Oh that wacky California penal system. Hey, it’s the convicts vs. the homosexuals. It’s a subtle theme but I am here to point it out to you. Plus, it works in the context of this issue. Heck, Gorgeous and Young even bring bars of soap into the ring and drop them in front of DOP. I guess it ain’t such a subtle theme. I would like to think that a member of the gay community wouldn’t have the butt-ugly tattoos that Preston Scott does but it is more likely that I am not up on my homosexual street cred. Pretty forgettable match as these two teams don’t really mesh well (Yikes! I promise you I meant nothing by that when I typed it). GAY has some of their standard comedy spots that they have to work into a match, thus, other factors – like actual psychology and transitions are sacrificed. Oh well.

“Shooter” Tony Jones (APW) vs. Jake Damien vs. Scotty Sabre – SoCal Championship
YES! Another three-way. UPW! UPW! UPW! Those are some tiny pants on Damien. Do you know, that on his website, Scott Sabre lists Johnny Grunge as a big influence? Oh boy. I know nothing about Damien so I will defer to Tim Noel “Jake is a former VA indie guy who has moved to Las Vegas…He's decent but somewhat limited (only 2 years in though).” I think that sums it up nicely. Onto the match and almost immediately we run into the problem of someone hitting their finisher with the first 180 seconds of the match. (Well, what are you going to win with now young Sabre?) We have the Power Twins interfering. We have Roland interfering and we got a whole lot of nothing. Jones retains.

Now we get to the part that I really care about. Rick Bassman hits the ring to talk about UPW’s relationships with the WWF and Japan. He brings out Shinya Hashimoto and crew. (Hashimoto on American soil. DAMN YOU CALIFORNIA!!!! Well, we get Doug Williams and he will get all carny on your ass.) I love how there is one guy in the crowd who is marking out very loudly for Hash. Oh man does Hoshikawa look like he is ready to kick someone’s teeth in. Anyhoo, Bassman brings out Samoa Joe. Joe runs down everyone, including the Zero One folks. Hashimoto tries to contain his laughter as Joe cuts a promo on him. So, Joe leaves and Hash and company start mouthing off about the good old US of A. (“American wrestlers SUCK!) That brings out the fine patriot, Horshu who accepts the challenge. And Horshu ON THE STICK! only makes this the greatest show ever.

Horshu vs. Naohiro Hoshikawa
Of course, the classy UPW announcers make lots of racial jokes to get over with the Internet audience. Hoshikawa basically waffles the hell out Horshu and the slaps the Fujiwara armbar on to get the submission win. Exactly as it should be. Hoshikawa going over easily. Hoshikawa continues to work over Horshu, which brings out Tom Howard. THAT in turn, gets Hashimoto into the ring AND IT IS BREAKING DOWN IN SANTA CLARA, CALIFORNIA!!!!!! Bassman pimps the Zero-One PPV and I want tape even more now.

Big Time (Horshu/Tom Howard) vs. Hells Bells (Smelly/Mike Bell)
This was the regularly scheduled match that starts off as Hells Bells jump Howard and Horshu. I can believe that Howard looked good in Japan because he has been steadily watchable in all this UPW stuff and that was when he wasn’t in the ring with one of the best wrestlers in the world. Big Time goes over with something, as this match was an afterthought for me after what had already happened and what was yet to come.

Super Dragon vs. Juventud Guerrera
Now, in theory, this should fucking rule but my Spidey sense is tingle as I seem to recall this might be another in the “Juventud mails it in because he hasn’t gotten the sweet drugs and Russo didn’t book him to win with a Tequila bottle” category. Well I will know in a few minutes. Oh yeah, those extra 15 pounds are all muscle…. riiigggghhhtttt. God, these announcers are terrible. Not as bad as the Combat Zone guys but yikes. Figures that the lightning sucks for this match so I can’t figure out what the fuck Super Dragon just did. (Anytime they go near the ropes or the corner, they disappear into the London Fog.) Well, yup, that was nowhere near as good as it was supposed to be. Went only about 6 minutes. Both guys had subpar performances – including a bunch of missed spots by Super Dragon (which the yutz announcers weren’t afraid to hammer on instead of covering up. Ya know you still want to kayfabe the match as your calling it.)

The midnight chokers enjoy the segment that is here.

Keiji Sekoda vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr.
Example of commentary - “Even though he used to come out to the ring with a Hobby Horse, his hobby is collecting victories in the ring.” You can’t make this stuff up. Sekoda busted out the Fit Finlay Rolling Slam so he continues to grow on me. He still has his rough spot – like it seems that his conditioning is right on par with Mark Shraeder's. That could be a product of the short matches that UPW has a history of running. Like this one, as Chavo wins with an ugly Brainbuster (and I don’t mean nasty ugly. I mean ugly ugly.) Boy, we are burning off some of the goodwill from earlier in the card with the last couple of matches.

Hey, a Nova interview. Urge to kill… rising.

Los Cubanitos (Ricky Reyes/Rocky Romero) vs. The Urban Outlaws (Marshall & Mike Knox)
I think you will soon see, Phil Rippa – Urban Outlaw Apologist. Especially, in light of the fact that the APA is pretty broken down and Kendall is retired, I need a new big, Texan (or two) to jump on. Err…. Awwww crap…. Oh well. Okay, Mike Knox just did the World’s Greatest Outlaw tope. Number One and the Best! I still get Reyes and Romero confused but we all know that Rippa stands for moron in Italian. More working over the big guys leg. I got no problems repeating that several times. Professional Wrestling, Daddy! Man, Los Cubanitos do this great figure-four dropkick thing that I think everyone will be stealing soon enough. Mike Knox is your de facto face in peril, which is really odd because I don’t think he has ever worked for a hot tag before in his life. As I was watching this match I started to realize how many freakin’ great U.S. Indy stars have busted out onto the scene in the last year – Low-Ki, American Dragon, Super Dragon, Ricky Reyes, B-Boy, The Maximo Brothers, Red, amongst others. And folks wonder why we support the Indy feds.

Damien Steele sports the fanny pack and spouts off. Doesn’t anyone look in the mirror before they step through the curtain?

Mikey Henderson vs. Chuck Palumbo
FUCK! I forgot that this was the WCW talent enhanced show. SHIT! Sean O’Haire is on the card too. I should have quit when I was ahead. What was really annoying was on the rare occasion that I flipped over to WCW programming in the dying days, I always managed to catch Palumbo contribution to the fall. Now, he is crapping up the indy shows I watch too. He even does possibly the worst small package in the history of men in tights. Henderson tries to reign this bad boy in but that ain’t going to save it. And that sleeper spot confirms it. We will skip ahead to the Jungle Kick and the pin. Samoa Joe and O’Haire hit the ring.

Adam Pearce vs. Josh Wilcox
Well this was a big train wreck. I am sure that Wilcox is glad that XFL career panned out. The former tight end throws some credible looking forearms and doesn’t do the three-point stance but that is about the nice things I can say about him. He does the rest of the standard Reggie White wrestling offense. Of course, since he doesn’t do the three-point stance, he has to win with something else. And what is the one other move that all ex-football players do… THE SPEAR!!!!!!!!!! Short and Icky.

Samoa Joe vs. Sean O’Haire – UPW Heavyweight Title
Someone explain to me how O’Haire’s leapy, kicky style is more impressive than say, Bull Buchanan’s? God, Samoa Joe is really great for someone who hasn’t been in the business terribly long. This is decent as Joe continues the trend of working over the big man’s leg. O’Haire, to his credit, sells the leg – albeit goofy. Well, he now he has completely stopped selling it. No more goodwill for you, Mr. O’Haire. What I don’t have a problem with is Joe winning with a great looking Island Driver. Nowhere near as bad as it good have been and I think all credit goes to our island brother. Hey Sean, Marshall Knox can do the Swanton too and he is your size also. It ain’t that impressive. Countdown to the Beulah Swanton: 5 days.

Ballard Brothers vs. Evolution (Nova/”The Future” Frankie Kazarian) – UPW Tag Team Championship Tourney Finals
Hmmm… that was odd. They seemed to clip the beginning of the match. I am realizing more and more that I and getting down on the overly chorographed exchanges that occur (in this example) in Nova matches. I mean they look good and there are some nifty moves but there is something to be said for hitting a clothesline, taking a moment to interact with the crowd and then doing the next move. Now, some of you might be thinking “Well, isn’t that all that lucha is.” No and if that is what your impression of lucha is, then you need to watch a whole lot more of it. Send money to Alfredo. There is also a difference of working for one elaborate arm-drag as opposed to a four minute Llewelyn Sinclair produced wrestling sequence where everyone just happens to be in the right place at the right time and you push the boundries of kayfabe breaking moves.. When I work that match with Nova, he will have to come up with something else to do because there is no way that I will be able to remember an entire sequence. The other problem/question I have is Nova booking his own matches? The reason I ask this is because every match I have seen of his in UPW has been overbooked in the most annoying of fashions. So I figure it is either Nova books his own matches or Bassman overbooks the mains of his cards and they just always have Nova in them. I mean, the disliking of the Gregory Hines stuff is a matter of taste, it doesn’t mean that the match can’t be good and be entertaining. The overbooking, though, is inexcusable.

!@!@!@!@!@!@ Apex of Triangle Tournament- MOEBIUS- 4/14/2001
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
OH SWEET HOLY FUCK! MOEBIUS! DICK motherfucking TOGO! The Great Sasuke! SURVIVAL TOBITA! GYAOPPPI!!!!  More from the crafty young tapetrader, Scott Mailman.  This is another one of those Orihara Trios Flight's of Fancy- as the King Of The Moebius Promotion will annually gather all of his scummy friends together and put on a wildly varying wrestling card- usually based on a trios concept, always involving some pretty ... questionable... talent at some point in the proceedings.  Notice the use of the three shittiest workers from DDT on his TRIOS Tournament last year- Takegi, Exciting Yoshida, that crappy masked guy?  MIKAMI, Sasaki and ANYBODY was right there .  This one is better than the Trios Tournament though- as the end kicks in and the wrestling is all good throughout- or at least REALLY fucking weird- OR hell- you can at least take solace in that en lieu of having guys who really suck , they have guys who are wearing really funny outfits while they kinda suck. From the size of the crowd, I'm assuming Samurai TV and Orihara paid everyone a fine chicken sammich and a super BOSS Apex Of Triangle t-shirt.

Dick Togo/Hideki Nishida/NOSAWA vs. Takeshi Ono/Masao Orihara/KAW*KAW
Dick MOTHERFUCKING Togo!  He fucking RULES.  NOSAWA is beloved indie scum from last year and would be truly fine in this tourney one would hope.  KAW KAW has the COOLEST mask with a...  WHAT THE HECK?! Oriharas wins in 11 seconds over NOZAWA.  Go figure.  Dick Togo's team wrestles again later, so I think the Sleazy Indie/WCW Cruiserweight Tournament Bracketing is in effect. There looks to be an EMLL Japan team in the brackets and I'm assuming they didn't show up.  Thus! THIS.  Maybe. Ah who the fuck knows...

Survival Tobita/GYAOPPPI/Chichibu Foot of Mountain and Mountain vs. NANIWA/ Sasuke the Great/ Relay Shonen
(Chichibu Foot of the Mountain and Mounatin and Survival Tobita had a meeting.)

SURVIVAL TOBITA: I want to thank you for meeting me here at the Satahara Oh Memorial Interstate Rest Stop so we can discuss our future.  I know that we have been at odds in the past- what with you wanting to destroy me and you sending the Lantern Ghost and his son to kill me.

CHICHIBU FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN: Well, it was a big misunderstanding. We got some bad information up on the mountain from someone whom we THOUGHT was a reliable source that said that you wanted to stripmine the sacred mountain and sell us into slavery- but our source turned out to be Manhole Man v.2.  He was just bitter about always being thwarted by your heroic efforts to save the people of Japan.  Plus he was going through some tough times with Convenience Store Burglar.  Seems that the Convenience Store Burglar and Gilgilgun were having a clandestine affair.  Since Convenience Store Burglar is Manhole's boyfriend and Gil is his bestfriend, you can imagine how hurt he was.  He was just lashing out.

SURVIVAL TOBITA: I see.  That's very understandable. Even without the unfortunate turn of events surrounding Manhole Man v.2's attempt to have you kill me, I haven't exactly endeared myself to the subterranean Monster Underground lately.  I just finished fighting the Driller and his boyfriend at a Kyoto storage facility and it was considered quite an affront since the Driller is a made man in the Monster World and all.  With all that going on,  such.... unfortunate situations... as these shall arise.  I hope that the fact that we have cleared the air will make you more willing to help me.  I am a bit desperate, I must admit.

CHICHIBU FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN: That's in the past.  Your problem- Hey! I'm all ears.  Shoot.

SURVIVAL TOBITA: Well, Orihara- the millionaire eccentric  from Moebius Corporation sent out a memorandum to all wrestlers in the Indie Wrestling  Trailer Court.  He is organizing a Battle Tournament with a grand prize of a very fine Roast Beef sammich and 100% Cotton Hanes Beefy-T version of the coveted Apex Of Triangle shirt. It is a fine sammich- complete with a fine horseradish sauce and assorted exotic pickle chips.   The tournament will test the mettle of all the Independent wrestles that will have to defend the beloved soil of Japan at some point- one would think sooner or later.  I figured that you were the most trustworthy of my opponents- what with Mokujin Ken freaking out and becoming a Republican (despite the fact they openly threaten his natural habitat, he said something about the need for less tolerance for criminals and "undesirables" in our society.  I think he has lost his wooden mind ever since he finally got some at the Tokyo Arboretum.) and what with Automatic Warrior needing a new manifold and everything...

CHICHIBU FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN: Say no more.  I'll bring my friend GYAOPPPI.  He fights like a thousand men fighting a thousand men.  He is fierce and of a singular focus- TO DESTROY!  The only possible drawback is that he just can't actually... walk erect...

SURVIVAL TOBITA: Ah, my friendly mountain friend, that may be a problem! Let me check the sacred gold-leaf JAPANESE INDEPENDENT WRESTLING TOURNAMENT GOVERNMENT GUIDELINES rule book and see what it says about the subject of walking erect... lessee... "Mysteriousness of Brackets"... "Government Tassle limits"... "Continuation of Motegi's Career Rule Rescinded"...."The Goro Tsurumi- Ryama Go Accord of 1996"... "Mummy quota"...NOPE! We're good.

CHICHIBU FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN: We will fight like a thousand suns burning out a thousand other suns!

(GYAOPPPI wasn't the best idea. When he is flipped on his back by SASUKE THE GREAT, the great lizard becomes helpless and wide-open to Relay Shonen and SASUKE's attack. CHICHIBU FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN and Relay Shonen had a spirited battle but CHICHIBE FOOT OF MOUNTAIN AND MOUNTAIN is susceptible to Relay Shonen's greatly improved Dropkick and piscada- as the use of a ring gave the Michinoku Pro regulars the great advantage.  GYAOPPPI had the other great disadvantage of being at the perfect height off the ground to suffer those high altitiude dropkicks to the face and is easily pinned when he turned helpless onto his back again, allowing the easy and unneccessary diving headbutt for the pin.  A fine battle indeed.)

Chi-Nen Hokkai/ Kazuya Yuasa/ Shiryu II vs. Ryuji Ito/ Daisuke Sekimoto/MEN'S Teioh: Oh yeah, the Big Japan Juniors team is called the MEN'S CLUB and they come out to incidental music from DALLAS and it rules.  Ryuji Ito is getting thicker (possible the application of "ring polish"?  Maybe he found a lady who can cook.) and both of these teams rock the match like a hurricane.  Ito and Shiryu II take it to the mat lucha style and it RULES and then they run the ropes in complete Arena Mexico manner. Chi-Nen is that baldheaded guy from MP with the yellow tiny pants and red emblem on his penis area. He wrestles like a rookie and will take a beating. MEN'S beats him to death for a while. Yuasa looks like a good standard wrestler, sorta like Seikimoto- and they have a good stiff time in the ring together.  Shiryu II kills Ito with the ever Boss NoHands Diving Senton Over The Toprope To The Floor.  Sekimoto hits the SPEAR~! and Powerslam to set up the Spinning Elbow by MEN'S/ Sekimoto Lariat combo to get Sekimoto the pin.  This was fun.

NANIWA/ Sasuke the Great/ Relay Shonen vs. Great Sasuke/ Tiger Mask IV/ Gran Hamada:  Hamada looks fucking GREAT in this tournament. He always does one thing a year to keep you from writing him off.  The Top O the Super J was last years thing and this is this year's thing.  Relay Shonen has gone from non-entity to very competent wrestler- bringing the hate like a good heel will with his Stone Cold-esque kicks and punches.  The Great Sasuke is the victim of the evil imposters and their astoundingly slutty valets early until he tags in TMIV who then takes an ass-beating betwixt assorted forays into submissions.  Then Hamada and Sasuke get a hold of Relay and Hamada brings the I-Voted-For-Jimmy-Carter era ass-stomp to the whimsically be-gimmicked Relay Shonen.  Hamada then leans into the crappy NANIWA offense before hitting the I-VOTED-FOR-BOB-DOLE era Spinning DDT. THEN it goes SUPERLUCHA as they keep breaking up each other highspots with other highspots- with TMIV being the one left with Relay Shonen- who succumbs to a TMIV Cross Bodyblock.  TMIV then hits the Tiger Suplex Hold for the win.  Goddamn, you forget how good Sasuke, Hamada and TMIV are until you sit down and watch them.  This was good.

Jado/ Gedo/ Masato Tanaka vs. Ryuji Ito/ Daisuke Sekimoto/ Men's Teioh
Gedo looks BUFF.  Masato Tanaka looks like he's lost twenty pounds (of "wrestling polish" perhaps?)  This match is balls to the wall. Jado- the secret worker of Japan- and Sekimoto have a power move exchange.  Masato Tanaka beats the hell out of Ryuji Ito 3/4 legit then Gedo beats the hell out of him 4/4 legit.  Man, Gedo looks better than he ever has and goes thoroughly US Pro Style Old School with the fistdrop and the Elbow Smash.  The match itself goes US Pro Style Old School as Tanaka, Gedo and Jado cut off the ring and work over Ryuji Ito.  MEN'S knows what to do as he gets cut off by the ref at key moments.  Tanaka stays basic and the whole beatdown is kicks and punches and shoulderblocks.  Ryuji hits the hot tag and MEN's IS A HOUSE ON FIRE.  This match fucking rules.  Gedo, Jado and Tanaka are three evil Japanese Armstrongs and they make the faces' offense look stunning before applying their own level face-punching fun.  The nearfalls are superhot- Sekimoto hits THE SPEAR and mediocre Toprope Lariat to allow Sekimoto to hit a BEAUTIFUL German on Tanaka; Jado kills Ito with a Superbomb that MEN'S breakups at two before the evil valet accidentally canes Jado to get the SCHOOLBOY!! for two like it's a Saturday afternoon in Memphis with Lance Russel being aghast.  Ito gets the two count with the Rolling Elbow then Lariat Assisted Sunset Flip.  Tanaka and Jado hit a 3-D and Jado procures the Crippler Crossface for the submission.  FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN!  Southern Tag Wrestling rules it in any language.

Takeshi Ono/ Masao Orihara/ KAW*KAW vs. Dick Togo/ Hideki Nishida/ Mr. Cacao
It gets all weird with the brackets here- as Togo's team wrestles again after Team Togo assaults the Moebius contingent.  I could give a shit about the Sports Entertainment implications as long as I get to see Dick Togo wrestle- so whatever Orihara said while being beaten to death by our man Dick is a-okay by me. Mr Cacao replaces the former Super Cacao- NOZAWA- and the AWESOMENESS OF HIDEKI NISHIDA is about to come to fruitition.  The sky blue pants, the I AM MARTY JANNETTY tassles, the I AM KEVIN CRONIN OF REO SPEEDWAGON hair- Jesus christ, it all rules. He and COW*COW go at it on the floor, DADDY!  Dick takes a giant piece out of Orihara's big fat ass, with Nishida making the assist like a Tokyo ROCK N ROLL RPM, motherfucka, with the Old School kneedrop to the forehead.  Then Cacoa headbutts him and sets him up for Dick MOTHERFUCKING TOGO to CRUSH him with the Eddy Guerrero Off the Apron Springboard Senton. Nishida goes Ricky Morton on Orihara's ass with the RnR Xpress flying dropkick with tassles flying akimbo. Orihara remains Dirtbag In Peril as Cacoa hits Legdrop- as I am now figuring out that all those tapes of 1997-1999 WCWSN tapes finally hit the shores of Japan as this is SOOO Villano 4/ Steve Armstrong/ Tough Tom vs Villano 5/ Barry Houston/ Ciclope in thorough WCW SN full point grandness.   Nishida is SOOOOO vaulting up the 500 with his fucking BALLZ OUT Forward Roll Dropkick into a Snap Suplex into a missed diving headbutt.  Cacoa and Takeshi Ono beat the fuck out of each other, as COW*COW apes a Dragon trainee du jour but hits a textbook indie Shoulder Separator Asai Moonsault 2001 and I weep loves easy tears at the beauty. Dick Togo beats the living piss out of Ono with a DDT and a Pedrigree.  Orihara hits Dick with a chair as he is ascending the ropes to set up the BEAUTIFUL Orihara Moonsault to the floor.  Cacoa does the Frogsplash for two.  Ono counters a Lariat with a kick to the stomach and punch RIGHT IN CACAO's MOTHERFUCKING FACE to set up the Octupus that is broken up by NISHIDA dropkicking Ono like a 1988 Jackie Fulton.  Orihara kills Cacoa with a Michinoku Driver but rigor mortis kicks in at two.  Orihara does his supernasty Spider Suplex Facebuster for the win.  EVEN MORE FUN FUN FUN.  Nishida is my new messiah.  Jillion Jillion stars.

Jado/ Gedo/ Masato Tanaka vs. Great Sasuke/ Tiger Mask IV/Gran Hamada
This tape is like running into a friend you haven't seen in a few months.  You get caught up have a few beer and you leave saying, "I should get up with him more often."  Great Sasuke, TigerMask 4, Dick Togo and Masato Tanaka I need to get up with more often because I forget how much they rule sometimes.  Man, Gedo looks great.  He really does.  He and Sasuke take it to the mat early and it's all about the Professional Wrestling as Gedo cheats like a motherfucker but Sasuke avoids an early HEAT SEGMENT to allow Masato Tanaka and Gran Hamada to take it to the mat, which is magical- as Hamada is wiley and Tanaka is strong and the use that as a basis.  Then TM4 and Tanaka take it to the mat to set up Gedo and TM4 to go all Sayama Does Lucha Stylee- though it is so much more fun to watch TM4 go all stiff and hideous.  Hamada and Tanaka start to brawling, Sasuke starts busting up on Tanaka until Tanaka reverses an armdrag into a chickenwing and makes Sasuke the recipient of the Heel Mauling- with the triple teams and the double chops and postings and the elbow smashes and the punches to the face that ruled it. Gedo does a PERFECT DiBiase fistdrop and I party and freak out at the MidSouth goodness of it all. Gedo is SOOOOO vaulting up the 500. They hit the Sidewalk Slam/Neckbreaker move, the Thunder Fire Powerbomb to remind you that Tanaka was in FMW forever, The WAR rollup to remind you that Gedo has been in WAR in one his cups o coffeee with every promotion on earth- all of it leading into the Superbomb which sets Deulling Stereo Superfly Splashes for TWO.  Sasuke tries to run the ropes but Jado snares him into the Crippler Crossface and TM4 and Grampa Hamada are getting the business from Tanaka and Gedo UNTIL TM4 escapes to make the save.  TM4 gets caned into a schoolboybut kicks to the hottag and then planchas the poop outta Jado, Sasake Tope Con Hilo's Tanaka all to hell, Hamada Toprope Neckbreaks Gedo and it all breaks down outside as the Hot Valet tries to revive Gedo in the ring. Gedo starts beating the crap out of Hamada and the ref tries to stop him.  Gedo punches the ref and the ref calls for the bell.  Not a good ending even if it was an ode to 80s All Japan ending. Not that I don't want a rematch or anything.

Chapparita ASARI/Hiromi Yagi vs. Mima Shimoda/Etsuko Mita
This was clipped allll to hell, which sucks because Yagi never gets out of the house anymore and the more Yagi you can see, the better off you are.  The big downside is that Chaparrita ASARI does one of her signature Astoundingly Sloppy Highspots and botches a missile dropkick and looks like she almost knocks Yagi's anterior crucient ligament into the third row. Yagi rocks in the sparse footage shown, going at it with the alluring Mita submission for submission.  Shimoda kicks the ref in the face but isn't DQed for some reason- as Mita hits the Death Valley Bomb ending the match.  They didn't show any footage of Shimoda or ASARI in the ring properly wrestling.  Did I tell you that I hate Samurai TV.

Takeshi Ono/ Masao Orihara/KAW*KAW vs. Great Sasuke/Tiger Mask IV/ Gran Hamada (Tournament Final)
They got the Samurai TV typing pool to come out and hold the THOROUGHLY boss Apex Of Triangle titles.  Maybe after spring for the belts, Orihara isn't paying anyone any chicken sammiches after all. KAW*KAW is listed as COW*COW on the TV screen so i'm going with that- because it's funnier! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! This is all about a brawl at the start, as Orihara bludgeons Sasuke with lowblows and chairshots early on.  Ono and Orihara do the nine part doubleteam Drop Toehold/ Legdrop/ Kick to the Face/ Camel Clutch/ Dropkick to the face/ Chinlock/ Another Kick to the Face.  It was FUN! asnd led into the rest of the beatdown that Sasuke suffered.  COW*COW then pummels TM4 and you get a good look at the quality craftsmanship of his TRULY rad mask.  Silver eyes, Silver streaks to the back, all against a black background- A TRUE TRIUMPH in understated elegance.  COW*COW- The Mask will be sported by SOMEONE at next years Super 8- it is prophesized by me.  Anyhoo, he works on the knee for a while until TM4 gets Orihara in the ring and TM4 kicks his way to the tag of hotness.  Sasuke and Orihara have a very ugly section of wrestling to set up Hamada coming in to settle Orihara down. TM4 kinda does some half-assed submissions and the match kinda grinds to a halt in that Orihara The Inconsistent Worker kinda way. Sasuke does a few submissions but the heat ain't generating in my heart of hearts. It doesn't really pick up until Takeshi Ono and Gran Hamada have this really cool match-saving exchange- where Hamada and Ono start beating each other to death.  Hamada sells Ono's dropkick to the knee like Ono had hit him with a truck- doing a great looking Tony Nathan Style sideways mid-air spin- making the second dropkick on the knee through the ropes even more fun. The heat is full throttle as Orihara throws Saasuke off the apron and hits a picture perfect Asai Moonsault which goes directly into COW*COW beheading TM4 in mid "running to a tope" attempt- with the cool-ass Misawa 2 78/97ths kick out. TM4 hits the Tiger Driver into a Sleeper as Orihara is bludgeoning Sasuke outside the ring, though Orihara makes the save.  Hamada stops Orihara from hitting his Spider Suplex thingy on TM4, allowing TM4 for to hit a missile dropkick and leave the ring via Piscado.  Sasuke hits a Black Tiger Bomb and then does this weird ass dive off the topturnbuckle headfirst onto Takeshi Ono- who is prone on the apron, and it had the look of the good old days when Sasuke would fracture his skull doing something stupid.  Hamada finally kills off Orihara with a Toprope Stone Cold Stunner and the return of the beatdown by Gedo, Jado and Tanaka on Hamada, Sasuke, and Tanaka kicks in.

This was a bunch of fun- if not state of the art wrestling 24-7.  The booking was pretty goofy, but the wrestling made up for it most of the time.  I wish there was more of Togo.  The MEN'S Club matches add to the quality of the inspired Gedo/Jado/Tanaka team and the Michinoku Pro teams to make this more than swell enough to recommend.

$%$%$%$%$% Universal Pro Wrestling “Control” (6/26/01)
(by PHIL RIPPA)
I started watching this show first, then I realized that I was watching the wrong show. So, I stopped and watched all of the May show. Then I finished watching this one. So if some things are repeated it is because I didn’t catch them when I edited this. I am a lazy bastard. I hang my head in shame. All these UPW shows can be found here

The Urban Outlaws (Mike & Marshall Knox) vs. Native Blood (Navajo Warrior/Ghost Walker)
Schneider was all bummed that I didn’t get to see Navajo Warrior on the first show so now I get my chance to see if Phil #1 was drinking before noon again. See this is Cowboys vs. Indians. Get It! Ha Ha! Marshall Knox now has these pants that say “Professional Wrestling” or “Rob Black Production” – too bad he doesn't work XPW because then it would be both. Native Blood has the standard American Indian Offense (chops, chops, scoop slam, chops, war dance, chops) but I kind dig them as Ghost Walker takes a beating and Navajo Warrior has that nice looking elbow drop. Sometimes simple wrestling is the best wrestling and that rings true for most of this match. What we have here is basic solid tag team wrestling. They are some questionable moments  - the most prominent is when Ghost Walker goes for a Corkscrew Senton and looks completely lost doing it. The Knox boys are really becoming my new guilty pleasure as Mike Knox does what can only be described as a Reverse Fisherman Suplex that was all sorts of great. Once Marshall loses the Swanton Bomb (because that move is quickly becoming the new headlock) they will be my new favorite Indy team. (Unless, of course, Death & Destruction tapes start pouring back through my door).

There is an interview here with Mike Modest and Donovan Morgan but it was shot by the same folks who brought you the Blair Witch Project, so who knows what actually took place. Something about killing the Ballards later on.

“Scrap Iron” Adam Pearce vs. Al Katrazz
Chance #3 for Pearce to show me that he has improved. Hardkore Kid and El Jefe are with Pearce so that assures us that lots of nonsense will ensue. Supposedly Hardkore Kid just had back surgery last month – things to keep in mind for the 500. Pearce gets whooped on and it takes the interference of Jefe and Kid to swing the mo' in this brawl. Since Pearce gets little offense, it is hard to judge that side of his game but he sells okay and is willing to bump. Al Katrazz is right there in the middle of all big man. Lots of overbooking, and blown overbooking at that, as Hardkore Kid misses his cue to break up a pinfall and then when Al Katrazz has powder thrown in his eyes, the ref turns around and walks right into the powder, yet doesn’t call for the DQ. Simple wrestling is the best wrestling.

Okay, I am just going to completely skip this interview segments because the voice on this girl in the nurse’s outfit is making blood spurt out of my ears.

They wheel out a former American Gladiator (Malibu if you must know) to be another color commentator. I long for the days of wrestling.

The Lost Boys (Ryan Ruffio (sp??)/Scott Lost) vs. The Manilla Thrillaz (“Funky” Billy Kim/ “Blazin” Beni Chong aka B-Boy)
This is the Lost Boys Internet debut. So B-Boy is now Blazin Beni Chong???? So instead of his team, UPW is now changing his name back and forth. Damn you, UPW!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!!!!! Despite the dispute over naming rights, I really like the Manilla Thrillaz as they deliver the kicks and even more kicks. Plus, they continue the influx of Chinese professional wrestlers. The Artist Sorta Known As B-Boy really brings the goods, including this overhead Uranage that had me all misty for Julio Dinero’s Rock Bottom ’99. The Lost Boys are 14-year old Billy Kidman clones. One of them does too many variations of the Diamond Cutter for my tastes – I counted three, including their finisher, which is a Hart Attack/3D hybrid. Of course, the Manilla Thrillaz win with ANOTHER version of the 3D (JESUS! There are a thousand wrestling moves out there, steal something else. )

Big Schwag wanders out and in his oratory, explains why this little event is called Control. Schwag owns 40% of the company. Rick Bassman owns 40%. Someone else owns 20%. Who is???? Who gives a rat’s ass.

Mike Modest/Donovan Morgan (APW) vs. Ballard Brothers (UPW)
This should be fun and anytime you are going to build towards a Russian Leg Sweep, you have a perfectly good match in my book. I just noticed that one of the Ballards (Shannon, I think? Aww crap, let me check my last review. Yup, Shannon) has a knee brace on. Never noticed that before. Is that new? The good news is that it doesn’t seem like he is working hurt because all four men are really on. God, the bald Mike Modest is a creepy, creepy sight. Hey Front Chancery! Okay, this is the greatest match ever. (Yikes, my computer has kinda crapped out of me here. I will have to go back and watch this again.) This contains a whole lotta wrestling in that you long to see. The Ballards do a lot of moves that you know evolved from watching lots of Midnight Express tapes. And there is absolutely zilch wrong with that. Wow, Modest top-rope foot stomp. This is the greatest match of all-time. All they need is a body vice and a five-arm.  There is this spiffy forearm sequence with Modest playing Kawada, complete with the “That didn’t hurt me. That didn’t hurt me. Oh yes, it did” sell. AWESOME! Morgan rolls through a backslide to get the win with a double underhook piledriver thingy. THAT I have never seen before. This might have been the best UPW match that I have seen. So far, all the matches have been entertaining and on the good-to-great level. Plus, they are all getting time to actually build to something. Mmmm... Internet wrestling.

Cheerleader Melissa/Looney Lane vs. G.A.Y. (Preston Scott/Ultra Hot)
So much for that streak. Moving right along. Or trying to. Stupid Real Media Player. Well at least this match is appropriate with the issue's theme. You know, there is more wrestling in this thing than there has any right to be. Hey cool, Tilt-a-Whirl Shoulder Breaker. God Dammit! I am going to have to watch this, aren’t I. Nope, here comes the comedy again. I guess if this was before the Joshi 100 came out, I would have watched but it’s not. Too bad. So Sad. (Author’s Note: Upon further review, this match was nowhere near as vomit inducing as it could have been. Gorgeous and Young have this PG-13 feel to them (besides kinda looking like Wolfie D and J.C. Ice – or whatever the hell there names are now). You could probably plop them down in Memphis and they would get along fine. They have the selling and the working of the crowd part down. Just get someone to teach them to punch and you have GOLD DADDY!!! The women appear to be actually trained in wrestling (possible WOW Restart members?). If they had eliminated the goofy bits ripped straight from the booking sheets of a 1980s midget match, this would have been one of the best intergender matches ever.)

“Shooter” Tony Jones (APW) vs. “Big Time” Tom Howard (UPW) – SoCal Championship
This is actually Tony Jones versus a mystery opponent. The opponent is announced as Horseshu but he has a bum shoulder due to his confrontation with Hoshikawa (see above) so he announces that Tom Howard will be challenging Jones. (Actually, they do this really cool thing of teasing Shinya Hashimoto being the opponent. If I was there live, I would have lost my shit.) This is fought under “Shoot Fight Rules” – whatever that might mean in UPW. I need to go back and watch all those matches when Howard was Russian because I don’t remember him being this enjoyable. Jones is the guy who you always watch his matches and go “You should be so much better than this. Why aren’t you? BE GOOD!” My big problem with Jones at the moment is that his whole gimmick is that he is the “shooter” yet someone like Howard throws more credible looking strikes. This is like watching a BattlARTS rookies match as they work the style but the affair is nowhere near as crisp as you would get from Ishikawa, Malenko, etc. Now, that is not to say that this isn’t good because it is (Crimney, that is an awkward sentence.) The ending comes out of nowhere as Howard hits a Blockbuster to take the title. It is the things like that that bother me. What is the point of “Shoot Fight” rules if the match can end via pinfall OFF A BLOCKBUSTER??? “Yeah, I can remember when Oleg Taktarov won UFC VI with a Diamond Cutter. He had tried the worm but Abbott was prepared for it and got out of the way.”

Smelly/Keiji Sakoda vs. Ultimate Army (Nathan Jones/John Heidenreich)
This might be fun or this might be a festering pile of shit. I haven’t been impressed by Smelly and Jones and Heidenreich aren’t especially good (they just have their moments). Okay, it is going to be the latter as Jones and Big John just squash the members of Schwag’s Army, who really only get some token offense in but they get the fluke win. I got a whole lot more should be better wrestling ahead of me so I will just move along.

Damien Steele/Mikey Henderson/Samoa Joe vs. Chavo Guerrero, Jr./Chavo Guerrero, Sr./Mando Guerrero
AH YEAH! This is what we all wanted to see. (This was actually supposed to be Chuck Palumbo and Sean O'Haire instead of Chavo, Sr. and Mando - Thank God for small miracles). Come on, Chavo, Sr. and Mando are what like 400 years old and they can still go. (I would have liked to seen Hector in this puppy too). Of course, once everyone gets past the Pepe jokes and get onto the wrestling. Chavo, Jr. was starting to get back to actual wrestling during the last days of Turner and now he gets to get all the way back to form while working these Indy dates. Steele needs to go back to wearing the fanny pack and cutting promos because he ain’t bringing the goodness. To be fair. that is probably due to the fact that this is Steele’s first match back from injury. Or, it could just be that Steele ain’t that good. (Phil awaits the outrage from Damien Steele fanboys. And from confused Damien Kane fans.) Chavo, Sr. gets worked over for a good part of the match, which surprises me because I thought Junior would be working the whole match. What am I talking about? This is the Guerreros. They will all be wrestling 40 years after their deaths. And Mando isn’t afraid to work stiff in this match. HEY NOW! They do the star and FUCK! Triple tope. What the hell where Senior and Mando thinking about? Another poor ending as Steele punks out the ref to get his team disqualified – that after a really bad Brainbuster from Chavo. Still, I loves me some old lucha.

They show a bunch of different stuff up on the video screen but trying to watch the video screen in person is hard enough.  Try deciphering it while watching it through Streaming Video. It stinks that I can’t make it out because they show highlights of the Zero One PPV, the Chris Daniels documentary and the UPW TV pilot. Daniels comes out and thanks the fans.

28 man Battle Royal
This is another thank you to the fans for their support. Some thank you. Do you really expect me to sit through a Battle Royal that is just a front to set up another round of the Ultimate Army vs. Smelly/Sakoda – a match I didn’t watch the first time? This was better than the ECWA summit.

Los Cubanitos (Ricky Reyes/Rocky Romero) vs. Evolution (Nova/Frankie Kazarian) – UPW Tag Team Titles
I am still trying to figure out how it is possible that Los Cubanitos lost to the Urban Outlaws on the last card and yet they get the title shot whilst the Outlaws are jerking the curtain. What does everyone have against Cowboys? I am also trying to figure out where the “New” went from Evolution’s name. The pants that Nova and Kazarian wear really scream out that they are spit brothers (and I mean spit brothers in a different way than you think. Well maybe not you sick fucks.). Either I am misjudging the size of Evolution or Reyes and Romero are really tiny. Of course, they still can wrestle but I am sure that at some point Jim Ross’ will be telling them to “work on their upper body”. Kazarian becomes the first person I have ever seen blow the skin the cat spot. Ya know, Kazarian hasn’t blown me away yet. I know some people pimp him really hard but I think there are plenty of better young US Indy workers floating around than him. There is one spot in this match that is really great. Nova blocks a victory roll by Romero but as he still has Romero up on his shoulders, Reyes dropkicks Nova’s knee out which in turn leads to Romero doing a facebuster. This was much better than some of the other Evolution tags that I have seen. This had your traditional tag team build, with Evolution getting the early momentum, Los Cubanitos working over the middle part of the match – complete with a couple of false tags. And then a solid finish that had no Sports Entertainment elements (Well, I am ignoring the fact that Nova did kick out of what essentially amounted to two finishers). However, it DID have Evolution winning with the Double Moonsault/Rock Bottom aka the Spanish Fly that the Maximo Brothers use. Funny, that’s the first time Evolution has ever used that. Hmmmm….. I wonder if Nova thinks that is an InNOVAtive move? Well of course it has to be. Nova never steals anyone else’s moves. Maybe, all these UPW have taken place well in the past and it just takes several years for the satellite feeds to reach Earth. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Parallel Universe. Totally Carl Sagan.

Everyone should be unemployed or have slacker jobs so they can sit around watching wrestling on the internet. Next, I am going to see what these AWA feeds look like.

*^*^*^*^*^*^ The Best of the Spanish Announce Team
(by REV. RAY DUFFY)

At the final Elk's Lodge show in Queens, I picked up this gem which is an early comp of the Mikey Whipwreck trainees, Red, Joe and Jose Maximo, the Spanish Announce Team.  I'm amazingly disappointed who put this tape out (it didn't say it on the label), but I'll get to make fun of him later.

Red vs. (Chris) Devine w/ Miss Kara (UCW - Jan, 2001)
This is the first round of the UCW North Eastern Championship.  Red makes his way to the ring and you can see people in the front row laughing at his size as for those of you who haven't seen Red, he looks like he's 14 years old and he wrestles like he doesn't want to see 15.  Of course, at this point, nobody has seen him before.  Red's taking on Devine, who I believe is another Mikey trainee. They take it to the mat early and look compitent as the fans chant "Where's your Mommy" at Red.  Of course, it doesn't take Red very long to win the fans over as he shows off some good agility flipping out of some stuff and ranaing out of a powerbomb attempt sending Devine outside so he can hit a huge dive.  They go back and forth with a lot of stuff, Devine hits a great full nelson slam into a DDT move.  Devine goes for a top rope move, but Red counters it and hits a top rope rana, Kara interferes to save Devine from being pinned.  He tried to low blow Red as Devine holds him, but Red jumps and Devine gets nutted.  Red goes after Kara, Devine goes to super kick him but hits Kara by mistake, Red hits an enzugiri and a huge pheonix splash for the win.  This was a good match.  The puches were a little weak, but the wrestling was good.

Joe L Maximo vs. Prince Nana (UCW - Jan, 2001)
Another match from the first round, Nana does a royal gimmick from Gahna.  This is a pretty quick and basic match until Maximo hits a crown's gate to set up a moonsault for the win.

Joe L Maximo vs. Red (UCW - Jan,2001)
This is a semi-finals of the tournament.  The crowd is totally different for the second of Red matches as having seen him once, they're now all pulling for him.  Joe starts out by shoving Red down a few times, before Red leg dives him.  They do a bunch of counters to each others moves with flip outs before Joe goes for a tilt-a-whirl move that gets turned into a DDT by Red who then hits his unique standing shooting star press for a two count.  Maximo rolls out to the floor and Red gets in a fakey into a big tope con hilo onto  Maximo on the floor.  They come back in, Red tries for a top rope moonsault press but Joe hits him with a drop kick and a brainbuster.  Maximo presses and dumps Red to the floor.  Joe hits an insane crucifix powerbomb into a DDT for a two that ref might have accidentally counted a 3. The UCW referee is a sight to behold.  He looks like he's wearing a barrel underneth his outfit and as you can imagine is not exactly mobile.  They go out to the floor.  Red hits a plancha from the top and then hits a really insane dive similiar to Kaz Hayashi's plancha de agilia, except he's back flipping over the ropes rather than after he's cleared the ropes. Maximo fights off a rana attempt, but Red hits him with a spin kick as he dives off. Red hits a shooting star press from the top but Sledge, who's also in the tournament runs in.  Red eats a yakuza kick from Sledge and Maximo hits an underhook face first powerbomb that's set up like Tomoko Watanabe's Hell Smasher.

Joe L Maximo vs. Sledge (UCW - Jan,2001)
This is the tournament finals. Maximo throws out to the floor and takes a bit long before hitting a big dive.  Sledge goes after Maximo's injured Arm.  The referee takes a bump and Sledge goes for a chair, threatening to Pillmanize the arm when Red runs in and takes out Slege and his allies.  Maximo hits the moonsault for the win.  Short match, but this was the guys 3rd matches of the night.  The announcing team for this show was not spectacular and spent the 3rd match busting on Sledge and doing inside jokes about people milling around the announcers area.  Maximo wins the UCW North Eastern Title.

Red/Joe L Maximo vs. The Briscoe Brothers w/ Dewey Donavan (CZW)
The continuing string of bad indy announcers continues as the CZW announcers seem to enjoy yelling really loud into the microphones.  They do a bunch of jokes about the Brisco's similiar name.  The fact that the one annoucer complains about them using a face lock, the other says "it's wrestling" and the other says "THIS IS CZW" gives you an idea of how brilliant this announcing is.  The Briscos control in the early part, hitting a double rock bottom move, a double drop kick and one hits a nice dive over the tope.  One Briscoe gets caught with a super kick as he does a springboard by Maximo. The Mikey trainees hit a standing shooting star and a leg drop combo and a back suplex/springboard leg drop combo.  Maximo hits some nice lariats in this.  A double team gets foiled and the one Briscoe hits a top rope Rana. The SAT punish the one brother as the announcers punish me.  Maximo nails a crowns gate to set up Red doing a double springboard Phoenix splash.  Dewey interferes allowing the briscoes to tag.  The fresh Briscoe hits some nice drop kicks and a flying heel kick.  They blow a Total Elimination attempt, but they hit a tiger driver on Red followed by a moonsault to get the win over the SAT.  Have I mentioned the CZW announcers suck?

The Spanish Announce Team (Joe/Jose Maximo) vs. Devine Storm (Chris Devine/Quiet Storm) (HWA?)
The SAT are working heels here as they come out and explain their gimmick which is they are upset that all the wrestlers come out and destroy the spanish announcers table.  This is another battle of Whipwreck trainees.  Jose starts out with Storm.  They do a bunch of counters and reversel spots out of a greco roman knuckle lock, followed by a bunch of counters and back and forth of the same moves on one another. Storm busts out some nice suplexes in the course of the match.  The pace keeps up on the match and they do a lot of nice back and forth action.  Joe busts out his evil Crown's Gate off the ropes and his underhook face first powerbomb with Storm making the save for Devine.  It looked like Jose and Devine mess up a leap frog spot when Jose lands on Devine, but they save it well by turning it over into a cradle move.  They do a real crazy spot where Jose lifts Storm over him and Storm lands on and ranas Joe off to the floor before Jose and Devine get in and the hot firey death dives.  SAT hit stereo brainbusters and go for moonsaults on both men.  Both team do mirror moves of their partners, as the match goes on the fans seem to turn on the match, I'm not sure why though because the action is good and all the guys are busting their asses and not really blowing anything.  Devine Storm do a spot where Storm sets up a powerbomb, Devine hits a far away Tope Rope drop kick to force the powerbomb onto Joel.  The finish comes where Joe is setting up a superplex, but Storm grabs him and we get the weirdo Powerbomb version of the stackerplex that Yamakawa and Honma used to do with Joe superplexing Devine.  When they land, Jose frog splashes Devine and the ref counts a double pin.  Good match, but the finish was kinda eh and the crowd sucked. I was spared "great" indy announcing.

Spanish Announce Team (Joe/Jose) w/ Red vs. The Back Seat Boys (Trent Acid/Johnny Kashmire) w/ Donnie B (PWF)
Donnie B cuts an indy promo that can't be understood over the sound system (those making it an office Indy Promo).  This is being held in a ballroom so there's a bunch of chaneliers and lights made to look like candles.  It's like someone hired PWF to work their prom.  Johnny works against Jose at the start and hits a nice arm hook/t-bone suplex type move early on.  Trent has a good segment with Joe before sending him out after a blue thunder attempt. Everyone's out on the floor, Acid does a big run up the ropes dive that takes everyone else with Trent landing right on his face on the floor.  We get the big trainwreck spot of everyone  hitting dives wihich ends when Refree Mike Keiner  gets into the act and hits a dive.  They fight down to the stage, Trent teases a dive off the apron, but Red cuts him off with a lariat and ends up hitting a shooting star press onto Kashmeier off the stage.  Acid then gets run through the wringer as the SAT hit 3 stretch combos as they do a la tapatia with a dragon suplex, followed by a sitting surfboard with a drop kick into a Cavernaro with a springboard knee drop. Acid recovers with some super kicks but when he goes up top, Red crotches him on the ropes, setting up the Spanish Fly.  Kashmere makes the save, eventually, the Back Seats fight off the 3 members and hit their Back Seat Driver, sort of a face first Iconoclasm by Acid caught by a diamond cutter by Johnny for the win.  Good match.

Abunai vs. Red (UCW)
Abunai does a japanese gimmick and wears a mask with a ponytail on it.  Amazingly, he is as short, if not shorter than Red, but is a bit thicker.  Abunai shows a lot of promise as well though he does blow a couple of things in the course of the match.  They do a neat spot where Abunai hits a tornado bulldog once for a near fall.  He goes for it again, but gets shoved off.  Red does a run up the ropes back flip off his back, then a drop kick and when Abundai falls back, Red hits a leg drop on him. Red hits a huge dive and throws Abunai in the ring.  When Red's on the apron, Abunai trips him and hits an Asian Cougar style leg drop to the floor.  Abunai hits a neat reverse suplex.  He goes for a top rope spring moonsault, but he slips.  Red recovers and murderlizes Abunai with a german suplex.  Abunai goes for a torando reverse DDT, but Red counters with a face first body slam.  The finish comes when Red holds on when Abunai tries a top rope rana and red hits a phoenix splash for the win.  Fun match, if not sloppy in spots.

Joe Maximo vs. Angel of Da Baldies (UCW)
This is for Maximo's North Eastern Title.  You know that saying that if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything at all?  Well... Joe does take a really stupid spot in this that deserves mention as Angel drops him with a face first slam onto a chair that had to be mentioned and ruined this from being a 2 line review. This is an angle as the G Street Mafia (Sledge's crew) pay off Angel to hurt Maximo.  Maximo also hits a sky twister in this.

Devine Storm/SAT vs. Doring/Roadkill/Sledge/some guy with body tattoos. (unknown)
The Mikey trainees are working together against Sledge and the mystery man when Doring and Kill make the save and get hit with a bunch of the spots.  I'm guessing their working heel in the match.  The clock says Dec 1, 2000 on the tape, though I'm not sure that's the actual date.  Storm gets killed with a bunch of power moves before Doring brings him over to tag in I think Joe Maximo, who takes over getting killed where Storm left off. The bald guy plays the face in peril in this, though he does almost kill Jose with something that  started as an underhook into a turnbuckle ram into almost an underhook piledriver.  Still, the Mikey guys play the world's smallest Arn and Tully as they keep the tattooed guy in the ring and get heat on him, but once he tags out they pretty much get killed.  This is like a glorified squash.

Spanish Announce Team vs. Trent Acid/Joey Matthews/Christian York (IWA)
Hey, the tape is Rob Feinstein quality with a capital "k" as the tape  jumps all over the place.  Donnie B explains that Johnny Kashmere is in  Japan so Matthews and York are brought in as subs.  At this point, York and Matthews are the NWA tag champions.  The building they are in has a low drop ceiling. Trent and Jose start out and have a good segment ending with a blue thunder by Trent.  Matthews and Joe work a comedy spot where they do the criss cross and where Joey stops and Joe still runs the ropes before hitting a flying fore arm.   York and Matthews are acting really goofy in this.  They get a 3 way brawl, SAT's get hung in the corner and they get triple groin stomped.  Trent gets trapped in the ring by the SAT and gets beat up a bunch.  The Maximos do throw some nice lariats.  Trent fights off the SAT's with super kicks, but gets caught by Joe's Crown's Gate.  The SAT hit a trifeca of  moonsaults on Acid, one of which I think Red hits the ceiling with his feet.  Red later goes for a diving headbutt where he moves the ceiling tiles out of the way, but misses.  Trent gets the tag to Matthews and York, but after they clear the ring, York and Matthews turn on Acid leading to the SAT getting the pin.  SE Finish.

Joe Maximo vs. Jose Maximo vs. Red (CZW)
This starts with a real fast pace with a lot of spots.  A bunch of armdrags at the start.  Red does a rana when they're out of the floor off a hockey boards.  They'res a really crazy spot where Red does a moonsault and Joe spears him when he's upside down on the way down.  This was a pretty quick match that ends with the Maximos hitting the Spanish Fly (called the Millenium Drop at the time) on Red, but everyone rolls over and pins one another leading to a draw.

Joe/Jose Maximo vs. The Rachies (Adam Flash/Doomsday Danny Rose) (PWF)
Rose and Flash jump at the belly and throw all the SAT's togehter and then Rose suplexes out the Maximos before Flash hits a running lyger bomb on Red. They do an early plancha spot which is sort of goofy as both Rose and Red are both up on the apron, then Rose jumps off and goes tot he floor so he can catch Red's springboard skytwister to the floor.  Rose throws around the Maximos and challenges them both to tie up with him, when they do, the Maximos hit a double armwringer so Red and spring drop kick him.  Flash and Rose recover quickly and use their side advantage and some double teams on the Maximos, including a double chokeslam, a double front suplex onto the top rope followed by a double kick.  They do a big bump when Jose tries to hop to the top rope, Flash pushes Jose off to the floor where he lands on Red.  The SAT's do some triple teaming on the Rachies and Flash ends up taking the Spanish Fly after Red did a corkscrew dive onto Rose on the floor, taking him out from making the save.

Red vs. Evan Lucky vs. Billy Bax - Ladder Match for the PWF Cruiser title
Lucky comes in as the champion.  I guess he's doing an irish gimmick as he does this little jig and has shamrock zubas on.  Each guy does spots on each other with Lucky taking over.  He goes for the ladder first, but Bax and Red drop kick him down.  Bax and Red try to bring in the ladder, but Red turns on Bax as the  ladder is slid in half way.  Lucky leg drops the ladder knocking both boys down, Red doing a back flip.  Guys start climbing up the ladder and each guy pulling them off. The ladder by the way is fucking huge.  If the guys climbed all the way tot he top, they probably would have been hit with ceiling fans. Bax gets a near fall following a falcon arrow. He sets up the ladder in a corner.  Red throws him in a corner, hits the run up the ropes kick and follows it as soon as he lands with a drop kick that was good.  Lucky at one point puts the ladder on Bax and does the jig elbow onto the ladder. Bax and Red both pick up the ladder and Lucky ends up drop kicking the both of them down which was sort of contrived. Lucky hits a tornado bulldog on Red.  All of a sudden, the Dino Powers and Gino Giavanni hit the ring with "The Fun Athletic Guy" Rob Feinstein (see, F.A.G... because he's suppose to be gay!  It's FUNNY!).  Rob distracts the referee as he feels up and other announcer gets on my hate list as asking Rob if he "came" after feeling up Mike. That's something for the nightmare file.  Rob Feinstein shooting love putty into his pants after groping a referee.  So anyway, as Rob goes to second base with the ref, Dino and Gino hit a back suplex neckbreaker on Lucky.  When Bax attacks them, and gets beat up as well.  Red sneaks in and puts the ladder on both guys.  He tries a springboard move but slips and misses.  He hits a springboard moonsault onto the ladder to win the match.  Eh.  the match was real spotty in spots, plus there's that whole Rob run in.

Overall, this was a fun tape to watch for the most part.  The Back Seat Boys match is probably the best of the matches on here.  If you see the SAT's on a local indy line up, it's probably worth your time to see them.

%&%&%&%&%&%&% Super Dragon Evolution
(by PHIL SCHNEIDER)
I got this tape sent to me by a certain masked wrestler who may or may not be the subject of this tape but shall go nameless. I had been hearing a massive tsunami of hype about Super Dragon’s 2001 work, and since I dug his 2000 work and this was supposed to be a quantum leap I was pretty excited about this tape.

Super Dragon vs. TNT - 8/28/99
When I saw the initial match list I was fucking torqued because I figured this was going to be Super Dragon versus Savio Vega working the TNT gimmick in 1999 in Australia, which would have rocked ass BTW. This TNT however is an Australian junior heavyweight, and is quite a fine worker although he’s no Savio. This is a pretty basic junior heavyweight match with SD being much more of a highspot guy then he is now. This went 2/3 falls and had a nice flow, with everything being hit well. One of the things that I am digging so much about 21st century Indy wrestling is that there is really starting to be a wide variety of styles and influences being bandied about.   In the last couple of years I have seen live Cham Pain and Steve Corino work a Memphis style main event, Low-Ki and American Dragon doing BattlArts, the SAT’s doing otherworldly lucharesu highspot fests and Mike Modest + Christopher Daniels working a 30 minute All Japan tag with the Westside Playaz. A couple of years ago most of the really great Indy matches were sort of similar Indy juniors matches like this one. I enjoyed this match, but compared to the stuff I have seen recently and the rest of the stuff on this tape it felt dated.

Super Dragon vs. B-Boy – 3/30/01
This was easily the most ambitious match on this tape. Super Dragon and B-Boy come in to this match trying to work a complex, spot intensive match based around bodypart selling. Stylistically the promotion takes a lot from Michinoku Pro and what they were trying to do here reminded me a lot of TAKA Michinoku v. Shoichi Funaki right before TAKA left for the WWF. That match was also based around big spots and selling of a knee, and is one of my favorite MPRO matches ever.  This kind of match is hard to pull off, for it to really work, the bodypart injury has to figure into every movement made and each spot has to take that into account, add that to the fact that they were working a lot of complex spots, made the selling more difficult then it would be in older matches which had a lot of selling in them. Also they had never worked singles against each other before, while Dragon usually works guys he trains with. It is a credit to both guys that they took on such a task, and the fact they came so close to pulling it off is pretty impressive. This was a really good match, but it had flaws, which I think kept it from reaching the MOTY status that they were aiming for. The storyline here was B-Boy working Super Dragon’s knee while Dragon worked on B-Boy’s arm. Super Dragon did a good job of selling the knee injury, including doing an ode to Sasuke attempt at a Sasuke Special but come up limp spot. That is the secret to this kind of match, the injury has to affect every aspect of the match. There was also some really neat innovative stuff, including an Iconoclasm to the floor, and a second rope Super Iconoclasm by B-Boy both of which I have never seen before and both of which rocked. The finish of the match was neat as Super Dragon hits a Phoenix Splash and floats over into a cross armbreaker for the tap out. However one of the problems with that finish in the context of the match is that while Super Dragon sold the knee throughout, B-Boy pretty much ignored the arm when it wasn’t being worked on. The fact that the body part which the final submission is being put on, is apparently less damaged hurts the credibility of the match, you have to have both guys sell for this kind of match to work. Also much of the work on Dragon’s knee seemed perfunctory rather then really heated, you got no sense that a submission would result from it, even when B-Boy put on the figure four. The fact that I am judging the match like I am, in away is a testament to it, I don’t except that level of perfection from Indy work, and the flaws I point out, are there in New Japan Juniors and All Japan matches which get Match of the Decade votes. Hell most NJ Juniors don’t sell accumulated damage and all those All Japan matches the submissions were even more meaningless.  I really would like to see a rematch, and I really dug what this match was trying and I think both guys have it in them to achieve the goal they set out.

Super Dragon vs. Excalibur - 4/27/01
This match was trying for a more simple story then B-Boy v. Dragon, and while the ambition was smaller I enjoyed this match more. Excalibur is a fun, fun wrestler to watch, he is Mulkey level skinny, but just takes nutty freaking bumps, and despite his lack of heft can work pretty stiff.  The start with some go behinds and standing switches and Excalibur endears himself to me for ever by doing the Johnny Saint grab your own foot hammerlock counter, BRITISH BABY!! I freaked out and partied. Excalibur hit a springboard knee to the back, which was just swank look as well. They did some crowd brawling, which wasn’t that great and basically unneeded, and was the big flaw in this match. The ending was pretty boss, as they throw lariats, blocking the attempts, before Super Dragon hits a lariat to the back and a mega nasty front lariat, which just wastes Excalibur. He then picks him up and hits a pump handle into a piledriver move, which drops Excalibur down on a sick angle right on his head even nastier looking then his Psycho Driver, and a multiple rewind and six million dollar man slow-mo replay moment. This was a batch fun and Excalibur v. Super Dragon is my favorite match up in Revolution Pro, the middle section of the match was a little aimless, with no match long build like in the B-Boy match, but then end was just top drawer.

Super Dragon vs. Rising Son - 5/19/01
I didn’t dig this as much as the other matches on the tape. Rising Son is a great flyer, but is pretty spotty and doesn’t have the dangerous offense to make him look like a real threat to Super Dragon. He also blows a spot or two, and they do some cheap heat stuff, which sort of takes away from the style they normally work. There were some really impressive moments here though as Rising Son hits a picture perfect springboard rana, which very few people in the world can hit, he also becomes the only person I have ever seen hit a standing reverse hurricanrana correctly. Still as a whole match, it was the weakest of the Re-start period. These two supposedly had the best match in Rev Pro history in the finals of their Spirit Tournament, so I really need to see that.

Super Dragon vs. Excalibur 6/2/01
This was probably my favorite match on this tape, I have already confessed my Excalibur markdom and he is rocking in this, and Super Dragon is also really great. Dragon comes out in a purple outfit, which is sartorially inferior to his original black. They have a great spot early where Excalibur is bent backwards on his knees and gets double kneedropped right on his chest bending his knees back at a sick angle. They also both do sweet dives, and Excalibur hits a lunatic spot where he gives a Bob Holly style throw powerbomb on Super Dragon, smashing Dragon’s head into the top turnbuckle and Christopher Reeving his neck. The end plays off their previous matchup, with Excalibur escaping the pump handle of lifetime incapacitation and being the guy to hit the big lariat, to set up his finisher, a double underhook piledriver which is just unreal, and career shortening.  Again not as ambitious as the B-Boy match, but very high end for what they are going for, the Rev Pro guys seem to invent new fun ways to shatter vertebrae ever match.

I am a long time APW mark, and a Super 8 ECWA loyalist from way back, but there is no doubt that Revolution Pro is a contender for the best indy in America. Super Dragon is working at a really high level, and their matches are as interesting and polished as anything done in this country. Hopefully they can start drawing a little better, but I think they are slowly but surely building up a cult following.

%^%^%^%^%^ Fighting Network RINGS World Mega-Battle Tournament Quarter-Finals, 1/21/98 (taped 11/20/97)
(by Marcel Hillie)
A new DVDVR, a new direction, as we switch gears a bit to give the RINGS some attention, courtesy of Phil Schneider’s tape closet. I admit to having blown off RINGS for quite some time (seeing as how I could never stay awake through a match), but have come to appreciate the stuff for what it is. Well, that plus all the RINGS tapes that have seemed to come my way from Schneider and Dean for whatever reason. No sense wasting time, let’s dive in………..

Gilbert Yvel vs. Lev Barkala
Gilbert gets extra points off the bat for coming out to DJ Kool’s “Let Me Clear My Throat.” I’ve never heard of this Barkala kid - I’m assuming Gilbert’s beat Lev like he stole something, but we shall see. Both start cautiously, trading low kicks before getting tangled up in the corner. Gilbert tries to get free, but Lev keeps the clinch - looks like Lev wisely wants no part of Gilbert’s strikes here. He alternates between sticking and moving and tying Gilbert up and taking him down, but Gilbert wisely falls near the ropes, forcing the ref to stand them both back up, a tactic which then backfires, as the ref calls the next one an escape, costing Gilbert a point. This happens again, as Lev seems to have a strategy here. He needs to be careful, though - whenever he shoots in, Gilbert keeps going for the big kneelift. On one Lev shoot, Gilbert tries to sneak a closed-fist punch in there, but the catches it and gives Gilbert a Yellow Card, costing him another point. Lev gets the best of another shoot, and Gilbert eats another escape, going down four points and digging something of a hole for himself here. Lev loses a point somewhere in here as he gets caught in a guillotine from one of his shoots and has to go to the ropes. Gilbert loses a point for falling into the ropes on a shoot and getting charged with an escape, which he’s none too pleased with, as well as another Yellow Card for a punch. 6 points - he’d better connect with that knee soon. Lev shoots again and takes Gilbert down again, which he gets up from, hold Lev in a guillotine for a second, and *whack!* *WHACK!* There go the big knees Gilbert were looking for the whole match. The middle rope is all that holds Lev up here, as Gilbert gets in *two more* knees before the ref thinks to step in. Lev actually does get knocked into next week, as the ref counts up to 9 and he can’t get his hands up after that, so it’s a KO for Gilbert at 10:47. Fun match, as Lev’s plan of not giving Gilbert a chance to wind up for a big strike almost worked. Put DJ Kool back on!

Mohammed Yone vs. Masayuki Naruse
Hey, Yone with no Afro, no dye job, and a serious demeanor. Both are content with standing up at first, trading strikes that don’t really connect. Once it goes to the ground, differences become apparent, as Yone is more aggressive, working to try and create an opening, while Naruse is more content to wait for Yone to leave himself open, which eventually happens, as Naruse gets a leg grapevine, forcing Yone to lose a point on an escape. On the standup, Yone is aggressive again, which eventually gives Naruse an opportunity to take Yone down. Naruse then rides him hard, making Yone expend a lot of energy before catching him in a full mount and sliding over into a side mount. Yone, again trying to make something happen, rolls over to escape, but Naruse goes with him and gets the rear mount. The choke is quickly applied, and Yone wastes no time in tapping out at 5:35. Yone went in too aggressive here, and paid for it.

Ilioukhinse Mikhail vs. Tsuyoshi Kousaka
Sucks to be Mikhail early, as no matter what he does, Kousaka has an answer for him. Mikhail cannot get an advantage, standing or on the mat, and almost has to tap out early to an armbar while Kousaka’s got him folded up like a pretzel. He makes the ropes and only has to eat an escape, though. The escape from a tight situation gets a pop from the crowd. This seems to wake Mikhail up a bit, as he gets a nice takedown on Kousaka and almost gets a Juji-Gatame, before Kousaka schools him by flipping over and spinning around, catching Mikhail in a Hiza-Juji-Gatame. Mikhail goes for a fireman’s carry, but can’t get it all the way, giving Kousaka an opening for another guillotine, which makes Mikhail lose another point on an escape. On the stand-up, Kousaka gets another leg grapevine, but Mikhail grabs an armbar. This doesn’t last long, as Kousaka counters, going for a Juji-Gatame, countered by Mikhail into a grapevine, countered again by Kousaka into an ankle-lock, and Mikhail grabs the ropes again. On this stand-up, Mikhail gets another ankle-lock, and rolls into a Hiza-Juji-Gatame. This makes Kousaka lose a point on a rope escape, drawing another round of applause. Hey, Mikhail’s working his way back into this match. Hey, Kousaka just kicked the piss out of Mikhail on the stand-up. Hey, Mikhail’s in a bigger hole now, losing two points on the knockdown and is down 5-1. Another stand-up, Mikhail takes him down and they get dueling ankle-locks, a duel which Mikhail wins, forcing Kousaka to work for a counter, which takes them into the ropes and earns a stand-up. Good stuff here. Another scrum on the mat, Mikhail ends up with an ankle-lock, Kousaka grabs the ropes. Strikes are traded (none of which have any real effect), and Kousaka drops his head, enabling Mikhail to grab a guillotine. Kousaka pops out (and pops the crowd) and gets a brief advantage, but Mikhail works hard and almost gets an Indian Deathlock (which would have ruled), but Kousaka gets an ankle lock and Mikhail gets the ropes. Back to the mat quickly, and Mikhail grabs another ankle-lock and cinches it in tight. Kohasaka taps immediately at 14:16. Wow, I was thinking a fairly easy win for Kousaka early, but Mikhail toughed it out, and eventually got the chance to put it away.

Mitsuya Nagai vs. Akira Maeda
Well, I was fearing the boss booking himself a KO win at 0:10, but thankfully that didn’t happen. Back-and-forth on the mat to start, and Maeda loses a quick point on an ankle-lock. Nagai lands some good kicks and slaps, but Maeda just keeps coming. Back to the mat, and Maeda gets a side headlock that goes nowhere and they get stood up. Nagai lands some good slaps and a stiff knee before Maeda takes him back down. Maeda looks like crap here; just falling down after the strikes and grinding the action to a halt Nagai works hard on the mat. Maeda flops around. Nagai works on an ankle-lock and Maeda has to take an escape. Nagai is striking well again, and Maeda takes it back to the mat. Don’t know why - it’s not like he’s doing anything once he gets down there. Okay, now he works for a Hiza-Juji-Gatame, but Nagai quickly gets an ankle-lock, forcing another Maeda escape. Crowd is getting behind Mitsuya here. Back to the mat, and some matwork that doesn’t really go anywhere gets another stand-up Nagai lets fly with a big kick that gets blocked, and he falls down. Maeda takes advantage and gets a leg grapevine. Nagai gets one of his own and turns it into a Hiza-Juji-Gatame that Maeda has to grab the ropes for. Nagai lands a good kick and we go to the mat briefly. On the stand-up, Nagai lands some more good slaps, but then goes for a knee that doesn’t really connect and Maeda takes him down. Nagai takes a rope escape rather than give Maeda a chance to come up with something on the mat Nagai unloads more strikes, and Maeda drops and grabs Nagai’s leg. And stays there. And stays there. While Nagai’s working, mind you. The ref stands them back up eventually. Nagai with a knee, Maeda with taking it back to the mat and then backing off, letting Nagai get back up. Then, this match loses me completely as Nagai feeds the old man his leg, making it easier for Maeda to grab it and take him down again, where Brontosaurus Maeda finally shows signs of life, spinning into an ankle-lock that Nagai has to grab the ropes to escape. Blech. Strikes, grab leg, fall down, stand up. Lather, rinse, repeat. Nagai’s trying, but he has nothing to work with here. Finish finally comes when, after Maeda takes Nagai down again, he goes for a straight choke, then a smother, which makes Nagai roll over, making him prey to a Maeda choke sleeper at 17:00. Post match staredown and chatting, where Nagai’s telling Maeda something that earns a slap from Maeda. Everyone gets between them and Nagai gets out of there.  Fuck, that was bad - I’d have preferred that 10-second knockout. I wouldn’t wish this match on my worst enemy.

Dick Vrij vs. Volk Han
Volk, you’ve got to show me something here. I need some of that magic after Maeda-in-1997. We start, and Vrij uses his kickboxing to keep Volk at bay for a bit. Volk gets it on the ground though, and tries to make something happen, but Vrij pops free and stands up. They spar for a bit, and Vrij pops Volk with a knee to the gut that earns a knockdown. Vrij keeps up the striking with kicks, and Volk responds with these lunging front kicks that would have him in big trouble with someone who knew what they were doing on the ground. Volk’s trying to make a go of this striking thing, but he’s having no real effect here. They clinch in corner and get stood back up. Vrij gets some good strikes in, but Volk gets his arm, which Vrij escapes by flipping into the ropes.  Vrij starts landing low kicks basically at will. A clinch leads to a flurry from Vrij, ending with a high kick that sends Volk sprawling to the mat for Knockdown #3. 6-2, Vrij leads. More Vrij kicks, but then Volk gets it back on the mat, and Vrij gets the ropes rather than risk getting caught in some Volk magic. Three kicks back Volk into a corner, and a glancing high kick (looks better at a different angle after match) gets a knockdown for Vrij. 8-3 Vrij. On the standup, Vrij tries a couple of kicks but Volk takes it the ground and starts working for a choke. Vrij fights, but he can’t hold out and taps at 7:15. Huh?

Oh man, this sucks. A Han match with NO Han matwork AND Maeda going 17:00 and looking like total shit? Fuck this, I’m popping something else in the VCR. Gimme a sec here, go read another review for a little while………..

*&*&*&*&*&*& ARSION on Samurai TV, 2/4/2001, taped 1/27/2001 Tokyo
(by MARCEL HILLE)
COME ON, ladies! Give me something good here, I’m beggin ya! To start, all the ladies coming out to say hello to the audience and Queen of ARSION Ayako Hamada says a few words. No time for pleasantries, I need some action here. Off and running with clips from the 1/5/01 Tokyo show. YOW, look at that Yoshida submission hold! Picture an inverted Cripple Crossface with the attacker’s near leg held in-between the arms with the far leg grapevining the opponent’s far arm. Man, Dr. Cerebro needs to steal that.

Rena Takase (#28) vs. You Yamagata (#42)
We clip the start of a battle between the 28th and 42nd - ranked wrestlers in ARSION? DAMMIT! Actually, it might be a good idea, as these Godfather-like forearms they’re exchanging would have Tom shooting cheap bourbon through his nose. Only goes 5:55 in total, with Rena getting a tap-out with a Kimura Arm-lock. Rena did everything in what was shown, proving that her 14 slots advantage in the raking was deserved. Watch it if you have nothing else to watch. And even then go check to see if there’s anything good on cable first.

Bionic J (#29) vs. Rie Tamada (#4)
Do all the joshi workers stumble over their lines the way ol’ Jessie just did? Very blah (very clipped, fortunately) battle here, as Tamada seems to have a bit of trouble moving J around. I know, I know, who’d have thought? J with the pin off a Moonlight Bomb. Nope, that wasn’t good. Unintentionally hilarious post-match interview, as J says, “It wasn’t as pretty as it was expected to be…” Ain’t that the truth. To quote Saukrates, Keep it movin, movin…..

HEY! That’s Sakie Hasegawa! Man, I’ve missed her in the ring. She’s interviewing Yumi Fukawa. Sorry guys, Yumi’s not wearing a tiny shirt, as this interview is done in a restaurant and they’re both wearing normal clothes. They shoot the breeze while cooking food at their table. Damn, I need to go dig out some Sakie matches now.

Mikiko Futagami (#3)/PIKO (#39)/PIKA (#44) vs. Chapparita ASARI (#22)/Ai Fujita (#21)/Fabi Apache (#28)
Clip to Fabi and PIKO in the ring. Fabi (the cute one, BTW) is trying here and looks to be holding the first part of this together, evidenced by how she helps PIKO and then PIKA through their spots and taking the top-rope double stomps and selling a very bad PIKA springboard dropkick. Highspot segment ensues, with ASARI and Fujita appropriately toasting their ankles. Hey, even Fabi gets into the act with a Tornado Plancha. Cool. Mikiko wants some of this action, but gets stopped by Fujita. Pretty bad sequence as Ai forgets to duck a Mikiko clothesline, so Mikiko has to raise her arm above Ai’s head, to “mistakenly” nail PIKA. After some more stuff, PIKA gets the pin with The Glide (Scorpio’s in-ring splash where he turns in mid-air and lands facing the opposite direction of how he took off). Futagami is noticeably absent in the portion that saw the light of day. Nothing special at all, but watchable.

Aja Kong (#6 - I think)/Mariko Yoshida (#2)/Ryo Miyake (#43) vs. Mima Shimoda (#25)/Etsuko Mita (#26)/Michiko Omukai (#5)
Clip ,clip, clip.  We pick it up with Aja and Omukai in there, with Michiko getting a near-fall off an uranage after hurting her knee giving Aja a kneelift. Cute spot. Michiko goes for a punch and misses, Aja goes for an uraken and misses, and now Michiko connects with…a punch that wouldn’t knock down an empty Evian bottle. Damn, Aja’s even greater than I thought she was for selling that. Aja squishes Omukai but good with a top-rope elbow for a nearfall and then a brainbuster for another one. Miyake tags in and immediately earns my loathing for making her first move an airball of an uraken. She and Omukai then miscommunicate on a double-kick spot and I’m starting to feel the pain here. Michiko and Mima’s axe kicks are 50-50 on looking like they’d actually hurt. Omukai then picks up Ryo up for a brainbuster and she tries to escape, but instead wiggles free, bumping on the mat head-first. Yikes. Ryo and Omukai trade urakens and then Aja comes in and hits one, and they AAA the one uraken that would look decent? Some more moves are missed and the 20:00 time limit expires. Postmatch promos follow, broken up by Yumi Fukawa hitting the ring to say goodbye, I guess.   Candy Okutsu retirement feature follows. Nice little retrospective, including clips of her retirement match against Omukai that looks far better than anything I’ve seen on this tape yet.

Azumi Hyuga (#40) vs. Mari Apache (#10)
We’re showing the whole match? Man, will wonders never cease. Basic feeling-out stuff to start until Azumi gets knocked out of the ring and Mari busts out a nice tope. Man, extra points for even attempting that. She regains control upon re-entry and then gets to stretching Azumi with a half-crab and choke sleepers, and looks like she’s having way too much fun doing it. Azumi mounts a comeback with dropkick and some kicks….is Mari smiling while getting beat up? Either she’s not selling, or she’s just being Apache’s Daughter. Mari then ups the ante by busting out the STF with an Indian Deathlock. Very nice. More stretching by Mari with La Tapatia and then a Reverse Gory Special. Bringing the pain is a Very Good Thing, especially at this point in the tape. Azumi comes back with high-risk stuff that she doesn’t quite nail, then Mari regains control. Mari gets a nearfall off a Mindbender, then misses a charge and falls to the outside, giving Azumi the chance to go hit a Hokuto-ish somersault tope. Back in the ring and Azumi gets nearfalls off an missile dropkick and a Spider German Suplex. Misses a Destiny Hammer, Mari misses a lariat, Azumi hits a German Suplex, which Mari no-sells so she can nail a lariat.  I nail a groan spot.  Azumi misses a charge and Mari gets an Atlantida in for a few seconds. Michinoku Driver is teased both ways, but Azumi gets a five-suplex Locomotion German Suplex sequence instead for a near-fall. Azumi gets the Destiny Hammer, but only gets two. Mari gets nearfalls with a lariat and a Lygerbomb, then kills and I mean KILLS Azumi with a crushing Tope Atomico that…..only gets two? That looked nasty as hell and probably should have been the finish. Babyface comeback stuff for Azumi here (Waki-Gatame out of a suplex attempt, more Missile Dropkicks), but we hit the 15:00 time limit. Mari made this match worth watching, but she needs to curb those no-sell tendencies. I can almost forgive it though, as Azumi hadn’t really had her in trouble up to that point in the match. Almost. Mari putting the hammer down is kinda fun to watch, though.

Cut to Ayako out for a day on the town.  She’s dressed up like a princess and getting pulled on a rickshaw by Daddy Gran Hamada.  Awwww.  They go to a restaurant where she has a big lunch and daddy is content to pound the sake.  They toast and Ayako can’t handle it, while Gran drinks it like spring water.  Yeah yeah, back to the wresting.

Ayako Hamada (#1) vs. AKINO (#13)
That’s more like it.  Being the Queen, Ayako gets the only entrance that makes tape.  She comes out to techno.  I listen for Carl Cox to get mentioned, but no dice.  Staredown to start, then some back-and-forth stuff, punctuated by a nice Ayako dropkick.  AKINO gets the advantage with dropkicks of her own and some Otani bootscrapes….hey, HEY!  Lay off Ayako’s face!  Cool segment follows, as AKINO goes for a body vice, but gets reversed into a Double-Leg Indian Deathlock.  Regular Deathlock follows, then a Bow-And-Arrow and a pinning predicament off the Deathlock.  All this work for submission holds is a Good Thing.  They must have heard me, because then AKINO turns an Ayako Majistral into an inverted Crippler Crossface, then a straight Crossface before Ayako gets a rope break.  Ayako regains the advantage and goes for her top-rope Quebrada, but gets knocked to the floor, giving AKINO the chance to land a nice Tope Con Hilo.  AKINO keeps it up with a springboard dropkick for a nearfall, but Ayako sneaks in Daddy’s Headbutt to get back the momentum.  Two authoritative Power Bombs let Ayako get that Quebrada for a nearfall.  Missile Dropkick sends AKINO to the floor.  Ayako calls for and gets an Asai Moonsault that sends them into the first row.  Back in, and AKINO avoids the Ayakonoclasm, but not the Hama-Chan Cutter for another nearfall.  AKINO looks way out of it, though, and the ref checks for a pulse before letting the match go on.  AKINO with a Backdrop Suplex, which Ayako no-sells (groan), but #2 does the trick and #3 gets a nearfall.  AKINO eats a shotei off the ropes and another to block a Juji-Gatame attempt, hits a running forearm, misses another one, and here comes the Spin Kicks.  Three put AKINO down for the count at 12:53.  Fun match, no beef besides the no-sell.

Well, that was better.  I know that this clips show isn’t the best ARSION has to offer, but the last two matches were enough to make we want to track down some more.  This isn’t an Earth-moving show or anything and the clipping is damn aggravating, but there’s some good wrestling, and in this world of swerves, alliances, coalitions, and nonsensical Sports Entertainment here in the States, that can get me to invest a couple hours these days.

#$#$#$#$ IWA MID-SOUTH KING OF THE DEATH MATCH TOURNAMENT- 6/1/2001;6/2/2001
(PAS= PHIL SCHNEIDER, TKG= TOM KARRO-GASSNER, DHR= DEAN RASMUSSEN)

“Your total disregard of the human consequences is almost sickening. We were just talking about the DVDVR boys~! and their inability to appreciate wrestling as an art and not some sicko circus act.”
- Randall – wrestlingrandall@hotmail.com

TKG: I had been avoiding writing about 2001 IWA Mid-South KOTDM for a couple days now. My major memory of watching it the first time was that it was endless, it seemed like it would never end. Saturday morning I decided that I couldn’t put it off any longer. I decided to go at it full on heart of darkness style. I locked myself in a room with a notepad, the KOTDM, a case of Schlitz, my Cd with the 28 alternative takes of the Stooges “Loose”, and a key to shotgun the S