The 17 year old Loco was pressing the limits now, dropped out of high school, running with Cartel De La Muerte, he had been shot at, had knifes pulled on him, and escaped unharmed every time. Even the luckiest people have to come down to earth sometimes, and that is why his Grandmother gave him the ultimatum which led him to the Garage on the other side of the city
“Do something Chico, anything, but if all you are going to do is run with that gang, you have to leave” she said. Loco always liked wrestling but never really got into it until he saw the Luchadores on Nitro. Mexicans just like him, little guys, who wrestled with reckless abandon, the way he always lived his life. So when the ultimatum came he went to the wrestling school he saw advertised on TV. He paid for it with money borrowed from his buddies and saved from hustling, he figured he would give it a try, the streets would always be there if he failed, the streets are always there.
The training was difficult, he just wanted to fly, but the early days were just calisthenics and mat work, he didn’t leave his feet for the first month, but even though he had never stuck with anything his entire life he stuck with this.
Finally it was time, his first match, he had been working for this for the eight hardest months of his life. He was teamed with another Latino kid underneath a mask. It wasn’t the ornate masks he had become obsessed with since deciding to become a wrestler but it was a start, he was Chicano Flame a real luchadora. He tried to go over the match with Comini before, but he sort of brushed him away, Comini was a real prick, he could always tell that that fat bastard was making jokes about him behind his back. In a different part of the city he would have stuck his knife right into his fat stomach and lifted up, but Comini was a veteran so he had to respect him. Nothing much happened in the first couple of minutes of his match, he did an armdrag, he threw a dropkick, but it thrilled him completely, more then any of his crazy stunts ever had . He knocked Comini to the floor and whispered moonsault, he had seen Psicosis do this on TBS last week and Loco was going to do it tonight. As he rotated through the air a sense of true euphoria swept over him, this was better then drag racing on Uno, or dodging trains the last moment of his life was his happiest. It was a split second between the time Diego Ordonez saw that Boom Boom Comini was out of position and the moment he crashed to the floor, erasing all consciousness. He was still crazy, but not so lucky anymore.
7) Massaro, Thompson, Murdoch,
Comini, Grimes, if Dean Rassmussen lived on the West Coast he would be
world champion.
8) Turner, Ripp, LeGrande,
Franz, Kamoze, Rippa would have the Internet title.
9) Who according to the Observer
keeps passing out at autograph signings.(9A)
I wonder if that mysterious drink spiker who was plaguing the ECW locker
room when Tammy Stych was there, has struck again? Maybe its TAZZ ,he has
heat with O’Grady? Watch your back Crash!!
10) Which weren’t bad, but
there were a bunch of the punches that clearly didn’t land
11) Who looks like Baby Huey
12) i.e. LeGrande is sitting
on Massaro’s shoulder and rolls down into a DDT.
13) Tommykaze
14) Massaro calls it the
Bitch Slap, NOVA calls it the Kryptonite Krunch, when he is crying like
a girl on the internet about people stealing it. BTW Mariko Yoshida has
been using it since NOVA and Donny B were in their unfinished basement
doing Tidal Waves on their Bert and Ernie dolls.
15) 9 minutes or so
16) No real story to the
match, the do the beginning and then do the near falls finish, with no
real relation between the two. Kind of like one of those Johnny Ace Nitro
matches that everyone on the net is creaming about. Cheap near fall pops
with out the length and psych to really make them mean anything
17) So much so, that I was
briefly lobbying Rippa to place it on my Indy Ballot
18) Who is kind of a fatboy,
and resembles character actor Reginald VelJohnson (18A)
19) Who was in Beyond the
Mat, where porcine prick Jim Ross told him to “work on his upper body”
(19A)
20) Jones works like Kurt
Angle should
21) Hitting a dropkick and
a springboard plancha
22) Released German, Northern
Lights, Fishermans Buster
23) Senton, moonsault, frog
splash
24) When the selling in this
match wasn’t even as bad as it is in say New Japan
25) Emicated tattooed 1996
era ECW jobber, who used to get wasted by TAZ who used to dump him right
on his meth addled head.
26) From DVDVR #90
APW Gym Wars 8/7/98
"Natural One" Michael Modest v. "Mack Daddy"
Jimmy Ripp
Modest is my favorite APW wrestler, so I was
a little disappointed to see him in a glorified squash match with a guy
who looked like a pipehead Shiga. Ripp was kind of agile and did a couple
of counters, but this was basically Modest kicking his ass, winning with
a nice running Death Valley Bomb. Kind of fun but I would have much rather
seen Modest wrestle somebody else, and have Ripp in a base rock on a pole
match against Ric Turner or somebody.
27) From DVDVR #90
APW 8/7/00
"Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels v. Suicide
Kid
Here we go, Christopher Daniels bounded up my
list of favorite wrestlers by ruling the Super 8. Suicide Kid is sort of
the Malenko to Daniels' Guerrerro, the Venom to his Cham Pain, the Misawa
to his Kawada, the Wallstreet to his Duggan. (i.e. they have worked each
other a lot.) Because of that, and the overall rulingness of Daniels, this
was the best match of the night. The spots were very similar to the BOSS
Daniels v. Jeff Peterson match from the Super 8, but this was a lot more
crisp. King-sized stuff included: stereo kip ups and head flips, fake neckbreak
with elbowsmash to the nose by the Angel, Tope con hilo by the Kid, reverse
Superplex by Suicide, Merosault by Daniels and more. The ending was fun
with multiple reversals into a choice reverse neckbreaker. My only quibbles
are that both guys were playing the face, so you didn't have the extra
Daniels dickishness. Plus there was no long priest coat and collar outfit
by the Fallen Angel, so he was not in his full sartorial splendor.
28) I did a whole Christopher
Daniels comp tape for DVDVR #119 so check here
29) Better then say Adam
Flash or Christian York but very much in that vein.
30) Which was nice and dickish,
and pretty much the only personality Kid showed
31) Staple of hundreds of
horrible Michael Wallstreet matches
32) Kicks the arm and throws
the elbow pad (32A) but
does a lionsault instead of an elbow
33) Spinning revers Tiger
Driver
34) I remember that would
be one of the suckier things the craptastic heel Rock used to do. He’s
no Dory Funk Jr. now, but at least he has stopped putting on those ill
advised rest holds
35) Slop Drop spun into Diamond
Cutter, new WCW Power Plant guy Reno stole it.
36) Neither is currently
with the promotion, I get the idea that Justice is kind of a pain to work
with,as he seems to always be disappearing from the promotion (36A)
and then returning later. Grimes got signed by the WWF at the same time
as O’Grady got sent to Memphis Power Pro, had a cup of coffee with the
WWF (36B), from what I remember
Grimes was seen as a whiner who could bump huge but couldn’t throw a punch
(36C)
Grimes then went to ECW as a member of the Baldies (36D)
, ECW let Grimes go too, and I think he is headed back to APW allthough
he is rumored to be working some FMW cards as well.
37) I think the two largest
current APW workers are Bison Smith and Ma’och the Magician
38) Who looks like he should
be a tertiary bad guy in a “Lorenzo Lamas fights a racist militia” movie
on HBO.
39) This was an old Dusty
Rhodes booking trick where they would have a big babyface win a title and
then have the decision reversed. Many say this contributed to killing a
lot of NWA cities
40) Which is totally appropriate
considering Grimes’s Rhodesian girth.
41) Including a great looking
press slam uranage by Grimes, which someone should steal
GAEA
1) A STORY FROM THE ANGRY OLD
MAN IN THE FOOTNOTES: Sit down, kids. This reminds me of the great song
by Tim Buckley "Song Of The Siren" that's playing on my computer right
now.. The song is about a man in love with a woman that will destroy
him- or his love for this woman will destroy him since he we totally
lose himself to the love and become a slave to loving her. It makes
me think back to when I was a youngster in my mid-20s and I thought that's
what love was actually supposed to be- a giant tidal wave that would destroy
you and nullify your entire life up to that point and I'm ASSUMING that
this idiotic assumption was what destroyed most of my relationships up
to my mid-20s (that and my perchance for drinking a whole lot and going
off with the boys to cause trouble and it was the fucking goddamn hateful
fucking Reagan fucking era so NOBODY had a decent job and everything that
sucked a little ended up sucking far worse than they should have.
Men my age had to contend with women demeaning us with comments like, "I
can't worry about you not being able to pay rent because you can't get
a better job." Clinton came in and EVERYBODY got a good job and YOU
MOTHERFUCKERS better appreciate THAT- whether it was Clinton undoing the
stupidity of Reagan or the Republican congress undoing the stupidity of
the Democratic House or whatever. Either way, you THANK your motherfucking
lucky goddam stars that you didn't go through what me and every other "slacker"
in his mid-30s went through in the mid-80s and how all-pervading the shitty
economy was to every aspect of our lives. Money changes everything
and when there is none around, everything goes to hell. There you
go. Before any forgets, I just wanna say "Fuck you Ronald Reagan.
You ruined a large hunk of my life." Oh yeah....Wrestling.... )
When you get older, you realize that you have to innerstrength and self-confidence
to have a healthy, successful relationship. You cannot expect a DEUS
EX MACHINA XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS come down and make your life perfect.
You have to make a way for yourself first, become happy with yourself and
have strength to be happy all alone before you can enter a relationship
that will last and truly work. So look at the bright side, all these
shitty relationships you are in now are just ways of building character
for when the real thing happens. you have to go through the idiot
Romantic fatalism crap where you fall in love with these perfect people
who let you down and crush you before you realize that you must empower
yourself and BRING IT STRONG before the play will work. To quote
Gordon MOTHERFUCKING Lightfoot, 'She's been looking the queen of a sailor's
dream and she don't always say what she really means- sometimes I think
it's a shame I start feeling better when I'm feeling no pain." AW FUCK
YEAH, GORDON! JUS LIKE THAT! GO HOUSE! Fuck....
2) I remember Rufus R Freightrain
Jones. I remember him headbutting a Coke can the first time I saw
him interviewed on Mid-Atlantic. These were 1970s can and it was
very impressive. He had a feud with Angelo Mosca that wrestling nightmares
are made of. Mosco called him a "big sack of manure" on TV and I
guess he was just being Canadian and didn't understand the ramifications
of such a slur on a wrestling show coming from Raleigh, NC. Ah memories....
ALL JAPAN
1) Kimura: "Afroturf!"
Jumbo: "Teen Dream!" Baba: "A SQUIRREL! He's wearing
a motherfucking squirrel on his head!" Kusatsu: "HOLY CRAP!
When did Sakaguchi jump to IWE?"
2) Mick nailed that description
of Mil's walk right on the head. It's actually kinda hypnotic after
awhile.
3) CUZ HE'S A SUMO!!!
4) Miracle Power Combination
5) There's a CLASSIC shot of
one of the flower girls getting all bug-eyed and losing it the second Stan's
music hits. Later on she kills her partners running out of the ring.
Too funny for words.
6) I haven't popped for
a finish so hard since Waltman upset Razor Ramon on that Raw back in '93.
This was TOTALLY out of the blue.
7) With crazy moves like
that it's a wonder Misawa's managed to stay completely healthy over the
years. Oh wait, he hasn't...
8) The funniest thing
I've seen Baba do since the Rochambeaux spot with Gedo. Milk will
come spewing out your nose if you're not careful. =)
DDT
1) "Hey Little Lover" is a
song that apparently gets stuck in Dean's head like "It's a small world"
to other people. If you ever see or talk to Dean, say that.
I'm sure he'll gladly punch you for reminding him of the song.
2) Shooters apparently
hate doing pro-style things like running the ring ropes. Play a game
like Fire Pro G for details.
3) aka the Michael Wallstreet
Special.
4) But this does drive
me to get some Super Uchu Power tapes. I mean, who doesn't want to
see a masked shoot style Alien with a Star of David on his outfit.
5) Kacho is known for
his tie straightening People's Elbow which puts it at the top of the list
of indy scum doing the People's Elbow list.
6) And for the record,
I've been on the Grace Asano bandwagon since the first time I saw her referee
for J'd back in 1998.
7) The Rider Kick is
a flying side kick. It gets it's name from the Kamen Rider live action
series from Japan. In a weird bit of trivia, The Great Sasuke used
to have the chest logo of Kamen Rider Black on the chest of his outift.
8) Remember, Sanshiro
3:46 says "DON'T FUCK WITH ME!"
9) Well, that's who
he looks like in my B.B Mook '99. He also looks like he's the guy
playing Poison Sawada Black on recent DDT shows.
10) Basically, Dean
Rassmussen putting on a Tiger Mask outfit and wrestling.
WCW
1) Permanent tapes are a collection
of watchable wrestling matches from the Big Two (with some ECW mixed in).
Most of the matches are of guys Dean likes (A) or guys who had brief little
runs of good wrestling (B) You will also notice that most of the matches
are from WCW.
2) Wrestling Power is a Cable
Access Show in Richmond, VA with Tim Noel as your host. Dean started appearing
on shows around approximately, mid-1998.
3) Appearances of Joe Gomez,
the Renegade, Jim Powers and Sid interviews would be the catalyst of these
phone calls.
4) Infamous US Indy wrestler
who wrestles under the guise of The Colorado Kid.
5) I recall seeing the likes
of Ace Darling, Devon Storm, Jet Jaguar, New South and Shark Boy amongst
others just randomly appear on my TV screen over the course of time.
6) Ignore the CANNED HEAT~!
7) Microsoft Word’s AutoCorrect
loves changing NWO to NOW. Make your own inference from that.
8) It reminded me of the great
Dick Murdoch worked punches which looked like they hurt like a mother as
Murdoch gave the illusion that he was punching you right in your stinkin
teeth. In reality, he never touched you.
9) This match is available
on Phil Schneider Comp Tape #5.
10) Along with Finlay vs.
Regal, Finlay vs. Benoit, Finlay vs. Lorenzo, Finlay vs. Johnny Swinger,
Finlay vs. Meng. Sweet, sweet stiffness.
11) If there is one
person you want to impress in this life – it is Fit Finlay who is about
as much of a man’s man as you can get. An Irish John Wayne who is about
as nice of a gentleman to talk to as you will find. That is why I didn’t
join in the embarrassing fanboyism that went on in the chat room. I left
that to Dean.
12) Make sure to check
out the hidden rematch that aired on the PRO.(12A)
Finlay gives a Houston another Ice Train crying level of beating.
13) Highlighted by
the super swank Psychosis tope.
14) There are 5 guys
in the match with masks on. El Dandy is the one who isn’t wearing the mask.
Plus he has the big perm and isn’t dressed up as skeleton. God Dammit,
Tony you are supposed to stop the Q-Tip when there is resistance.
15) This is the Nitro after
Halloween Havoc and Rey had just won the Crusierweight belt from Eddie
Guerrero. That match is reviewed later on by Schneider.
16) Any match under
five minutes in length that has the announcers talking about Hogan.
17) Granted Malenko
has done it on bigger wrestlers but it always looked the best when done
on Misterio because Rey would bounce about five feet in the air after getting
hit with it.
18) The other matches
would be the Battle of the Superkicks match vs. Chris Adams on Sat Night.
There was also the Glacier/Ernest Miller vs. Mortis/Wrath match from Bash
at the Beach 97.(18A)
19) She also hates
Stephanie McMahon. Yes! my sphere of influence is growing.
20) Tenay claims that
this is the first time these two are meeting on American soil and damn
if I don't believe him.
21) "Honey, this was
a great idea. Wrestling's not real and so the kids would mind sitting at
ringside and we don't have to worry about the violence. SWEET MERICFUL
CHRIST!!!! They are really punching each other. Make the pain stop. Oh,
I think I am going to be sick."
22) PSYCHOLOGY BABY!!!!!
23) Actually, people
like Hogan, Goldberg and Piper would show up more often than you because
of who they were wrestling(23A).
24) 80 guys run out,
all of them ineffective against the face until Hogan gets a cheapshot in.
25) Remember when New
Japan had good heavyweight matches?
26) That reminds me
a something. The whole idea between amateur and professional. The entire
definition of "professional" something is that one gets paid for their
services and one that is making a career out of said services.(26A)
So that leads me to ask a question of all those folks who claim to be "professional
wrestlers" because they "know what they are doing". How do you get paid?
Does you Dad withhold your allowance if you don't beat the Henderson's
son in less than five minutes? Do you have "Loser Must Mow The Lawn" stipulations?
Do you ever have to go right to the finish because Mom has declared it
suppertime?
27) Considering WCW's
goofy taping schedule, who knows which was the actual first match.
28) The Southern Posse
are Sonny Trout and Rick Timms.
GAEA #2
(1)KAORU MAEDA
VIOLATES THE MAN-RULE: An Historical Fiction.
In the air, my body is a leopard assaulting it's
prey- I fly and land, my ribs hitting the guardrail and I convulse in pain
after the gracefullness. All the while the Matsunaga brothers pawn
me off as another in a long line of Japanese Schoolgirl fetishist wrestling
perverted wetdream cum true. Honey Wings indeed. Am I not a
woman possessing the spirit of the Goddess, possessing the power to make
myself complete and autonomous? Am I just another set of overstretched
hamstrings to keep the sickest demographic in grotesque erections?
Yumiko stretches me in a halfcrab and I wonder which twisted camera angle
will be used to arrive at the most heightened complete visualization of
the fucking perverts masculine lesbian- schoolgirl fantasy. Yumiko
is kind and good outside of the ring but she denies her role in her heart
and I feel sorry for her and hate the system that much ore for what it
does to her. She hopes to be empowered like our idol, Chigusa, but
for now she must play her part for the male bastards. I saw my life as
a bleak and horrible thing with no release. The only focus was self-pity
and pity for my friends who were being used to reinforce our submissive
role for this new audience that had replaced me and other young girls that
would come to see Lionness, Jaguar and Chigusa- our idols.
But then Jim came into my life. Jim was quiet and beautiful- his black hair cut too short, his spirit beaten down by his job which was not his dream. His father took him in to his business and Jim felt that it was his duty to not get on with a big corporation and move up to his dream of traveling the world and seeing what the world had to offfer, but instead he helped his father achieve his own old man's dream. Jim never had a second thought about sacrificing his own dream, though he couldn't hide the death in his eyes. I met him in the park while I was running and he was watching his young nephew play. He would distractedly tell his nephew to not wander off. I was resting on the bench, very tired from running. "Hello, I think I know you." I'm on TV as a wrestler." "Ah. You are the one of those high-flyers. I saw you against Jungle Jack. That was crazy. Do you ever get scared of getting hurt?" "Sometimes. I do get hurt some."
We talked for a while and I went back to running. Two days later I saw him at the same spot with his nephew and we talked longer. He slowly told me of his job and what his original hopes were. I felt bad inside because he was not even a man yet and it looked like his future was already decided for him and there was nothing he could do. I felt ashamed of always looking at the negative side of my job because being a wrestler like Chigusa was my dream and I was living my dream- despite all the things about it that made me hate it. As it was getting time for me to leave, I put my hand on his back and his eyes lit up for the first time. I could tell that he thought of me differently when I finally made physical contact. I saw the spirit of the Godddess in me and I saw my destiny and his destiny entwined. From that point, I would see Jim at the park two or three times a week. I could tell that his soul was being healed by being with me- though his fate was sealed. I felt a yearning to completely heal Jim's soul. I knew I had the power within me and that I could make Jim a man, even if I couldn't repair his broken dream.
Jim told me that he loved me after the fourth time I allowed him to take me. I told him that it was a different love than what would keep us together forever and that he would find a love more longlasting than what we shared. I didn't tell him that part of our love was for selfish reasons of mine- as making love to him empowered me with the healing force of the Goddess and made me understand the true healing power that I possessed. Jim was upset and wanted me to leave the dojo and marry him. I told him that I could not give up the dream, but I could show him some of the pleasure of the world- the true pleasure of the world that doesn't come from being a world traveler but pleasure of love and spiritual oneness. I could only show him a glimmer of the love he would find completely with someone else but my power had restored his life and gave him a purpose. I learned the same lesson- that your first dreams aren't your only dreams and they change as the path of our lives unfold. And that will last longer than the feeling being enraptured in his arms.
(2) I have this fucked up urge around this time of year- when it's after NFL-E season and before NFL- and the CFL is only getting in through intercontinental mail carrier- and when the CFL DOES get through, they only got 8 fricking teams so you don't get the full-blown oversatuaration of football that a Football Monster like myself needs to get through the whole year- to watch hour upon hour of old CFL that I have on tape. I was watching all the Baltimore CFL COlts/Stallions tapes I have and it dawned on me that the best story in all football is Mike Pringle of the Allouettes. I was talking to my friend Phil about this and I'm thinking that there has never been a more league-specific great Running back in the glorious and varied game of football than Mike Pringle in the CFL. He is basically an Emmitt Smith-styled running back but the difference is that Emmitt Smith became the most successful non-League Specific running back ever. There is no reason for Emmitt to ever be as successful as he has been- he's too slow and too small. It's all the weird variables that make Emmitt great. Mike Pringle is the same runner but in a league totally suited to his strengths. CFL Linebackers are slightly overgrown safetys that MUST be able to cover the pass first. A small superpowerful running back like Pringle is a ballpeen hammer. Mike Pringle gained over 2000 yards IN THE CANADIAN FOOTBALL LEAGUE in 1998. That is the equivalent of gaining like 2500 in the NFL. It just shouldn't happen because of the nature of the game. Pringle is a freak and could be the most prolific running back in Canadian history- but since it is the CFL, it will go overlooked. It's like when ODU had the most amazing Field Hockey team in the history OF COLLEGE ATHLETICS. It was estimated that the 1990-1992 Old Dominion Field Hockey had an average margin of victor that was comparable to a football team winning EVERY game 55-0 FOR THREE YEARS. Pringle is the same way- the absolute best in an obscure yet legitimate field. he is a destroyer and he is my hero.
(3) My oldest daughter is old
enough not to be thoroughly terrified by the Wizard Of Oz so I've been
watching it ten times a week (3A).
I think I finally figured out all the Conspiracy level pseudo-symbolism.
I never read all the endless analysis
that assorted dorks and geeks have written over
the years so pardon this dork and geek if I am restating something that
has been rehashed by every Ph.D with a Judy Garland fixation (3B).
So the Emerald City is Washington DC- because the song says that they show
up for work at 11, have lunch at 12, go back at 1, and they are off at
2. The Wizard is the government in that he uses the symbol of industry,
agriculture, and the military to destroy evil. Dorothy represents
the average voter who does all this witch killing for the government to
have the government use its non-existant power to make her happy.
Meanwhile, the pathetic Wizard sends Dorothy off to kill ANOTHER psychotic,
merciless, over-powering sorceress because Dorothy has a reputation of
being an Evil-Witch Killer (3C)
though she is obviously a toothless rube from Witchita. I guess the
easy stuff is that Industry needs a heart, the Military needs courage and
Agriculture needs knowledge for America to self-sufficiently destroy evil-
since the government is useless and exploitative and singularly self-preserving.
The deeper, funner stuff I concocted is this:
Toto represents Dorothy's repressed Protestant sexuality and the Wicked
Witch of the West/ Miss Almira Gulch represents Dorothy's fucked-up vision
of her own lesbianism. Dorothy can't synthesize her self-visualization
as a cross of the lipstickness of Glinda and Deiselly Gulch/Witch- as thus
cannot truly become a full woman yet in her own mind. Gulch is about
self-empowerment and Glinda's role is Dorothy's lesbianism thoroughly hidden
and turned to a traditional maternal role. Either way, Dorothy ain't
coming out until she gets to Kansas State and gets a couple Indigo Girl
records and starts getting it all sorted out. (3D)
ULTIMATE ULTIMATE
1) Not that I didn't get a
kick out of seeing 'Ogre' from 'Revenge of the Nerds' play a world-class
fighter. Well, in Van Damm's world, anyways.
2) The novel 'arts' developed by DVDVR legends Jon Hess, Paul Varelans, and Joe Son, respectively. R.I.P. would not evolve until later.
3) Ettish, a karate practicioner in UFC2, sustained a nasty cut to the head from a kneestrike and pioneered what was laughingly referred to as 'Fetal Fighting'. The blame lies not with Ettish, however, but with the martial art that taught him this was an effective manner of defense against a standing opponent.
4) Some of Goin's uselsss nicknames were 'G-Man' Goins and 'Go-Go' Goins. How about 'Go Home' Goins? The UFC hired Bruce Buffer, and thats exactly what he did.
5) Howard had one of the all-time classic UFC interviews, where he stares menacingly into the camera; "Where *I* come from, we say if you're comin' on," [stops to remove sunglasses], "COME ON!" Against Mark Hall at UFC7, Howard was getting hit so often he forgot how to tap out, instead calling for a "timeout".
6) People who hadn't witness the early days of the Tank Era in the UFC really can't comprehend how 'over' Tank was with the crowds. Essentially, he had Steve Austin's entire gimmick, right down to the beer drinking and middle-finger flipping. But Tank can't rely on his promos and the goodwill of the bookers to win his matches, and now he's down with 3-Count. Whoda thunk it?
8) Wild Puncher = Punches like a girl
9) Heavy knees and elbows = Heavy legs and ass.
10) Limited submissions = Even Taz can out-shoot him
11) Put that gold star right on the tip of your nose, because thats where the fist is gonna land!
12) At UFC6, Oleg let loose this gem, "I have things, things you no never anybody see in America before."
13) Truly one of the most fluid and dynamic submissions in UFC history. This move was actually developed by a living sambo legend, Viktor Tartarkin, who made a brief appearance in a loss at Extreme Fighting Championship 1. Tartarkin was clearly over-the-hill at the time, and rumored to be significantly older than the stated age of 37.
14) That same wacky wild right that floored Manny Yarborough - Hackney later referred to it as 'The Tiger Strike' and claimed that it was a legitimate fighting technique. I might point out that unskilled kindergarteners throw the same 'tiger strikes' on playgrounds worldwide.
15) Kimo thanks the Lord when he wins, but when he loses, who does he blame? Thats right. Joe Son.
16) Amazingly enough, Tank's career would get a huge and much-needed boost at UUFC'96, where he delivered one of the most violent knockouts in MMA history to some poor karate wiz. Tank's career record in the UFC stands at a mere 8-8, but nobody can ever say that Tank dodged them or didn't come to fight every night.
17) Oleg's face is literally a maze of scar tissue. Although some quack named 'Dr Dean'-somethingorother supposedly said otherwise, let me assure you as any first-year medical student knows, scar tissue is NEVER as strong as the tissue it replaces. Additionally, scar tissue is inflexible, which in the case of a guy like Oleg, leaves him prone to bleeding from the margins of his old scars. Take that, Dr Dean, you second-rate veteranarian.
18) see: Takatrov v Goodridge, PRIDE, Taktarov v Gracie, MARS.
19) MMA techniques and terminology was so new to North America that UFC commentatory *routinely* misidentified even basic and rudimentary holds and manuvers until John Peretti assumed his position in the company. These days, Blatnick has finally acheived a semblance of competance in MMA, even being able to successfully differentiate between the guard and the mount.
20) McCarthy would go on to break Brian Johnson's nose in another fit of pigheaded exuberance. Who will police the guy who teaches police how to beat suspects?
21) *ahem* HAW HAW HAW HAW oh yeah, Blatnik is a freakin' expert. Next time you want to suck up to the future commissioner of the UFC, try and stay within the realm of the possible, you delusional nitwit!
22) Ya see, after Royce Gracie defeated Shamrock in a minute in UFC1 and went on to win UFC1, 2, and 4 (while Ken Shamrock did nothing of note in the UFC), Shamrock got a 'Superfight' with Royce at UFC5. The fight goes to a draw as Shamrock refuses to initiate an offense from the guard until the overtime. Based on a draw, Shamrock gets a 'Superfight' against Dan Severn at UFC6 and beats Severn to become the 'real' superfight champion. The fact that BOTH Shamrock AND Severn had tapped out to Royce Gracie was noted by many who questioned the real value of Shamrock's 'Superfight' credentials.
23) At the time, I thought
Oleg's gutty performance was the greatest show of will and 'fighting spirit'
I had ever witnessed - two elite-level fighters, back-to-back less than
20 minutes apart. This was truly a monumental test of focus for the
gritty Russian, and one that earned my eternal respect as a fan.
Recently, however, I was fortunate enough to receive an advance copy of
a shootfighting tape put together by longtime DVDVR-reader and shootfighting
expert in his own right, Lee Casebolt, which featured the 90-minute marathon
match between none other than Royce Gracie and Kazushi Sakuraba from Japan
earlier this year. Suffice it to say that if you have ANY appreciation
for the artistic aspects of technical fighting and the limitless desire
that the champions of this great sport posess, you absolutely *must* see
this fight. In its own way, this fight is as much as classic as anything
featuring Misawa or Kawada, as the legendary Gracie pride takes center
stage in Royce's first real MMA match in almost 5 years. If I were
you, I'd drop Lee a line when he puts the tape up for sale or trade.
This isn't a shill, its the straight-up truth; if Lee hadn't put this match
on his tape, I most definately would have put it on the next ShootComp.
CLICK MOVIES
1) Specifically the American
Plastics Association in beautiful Rosslyn, VA.
2) You go to http://www.clickmovie.com,
download the player and go to the APW section, the movies take about a
half hour to download, but they are full screen and have the best quality
by far of any web video I have ever seen.
3) Just be patient, I’ll
tell you which one in a minute.
4) Hanson Brothers were
characters in the late 70’s Paul Newman hockey comedy Slap Shot. The earliest
incarnations of the Dudley Boyz were also based on the Hanson’s although
the Ballard Brother homage is more direct ( i.e. hockey sticks, jerseys)
5) I would put them below
the Hardy Boys and Edge and Christian, but ahead of the Dudleyz, Too Cool,
Death and Destruction and anyone in WCW (5A)
6) Heel cheating, face in
peril, hot tag, you know the drill.
7) Which was really spectacular
but Boyce kind of knocks himself silly on.
8) “Before you went to bed
last night when you put on your jammies and kneeled down in front of you
bed, and prayed to become the Internet Champion. Just who do you think
you were praying to?”
9) The West Side Playaz
manager, a big fat ex-Roller Hockey player, who doesn’t do much but start
chants.
10) This refers to former
AWA champion Larry Zybyzco who would spend a large portion of every match
walking around ringside yelling at the fans (10A)
11) That is one of the
coolest things about APW, everyone sells and does it well.
12) He caught him really
good with the swanton bomb.
13) I actually think that
he is the best in the world at this, with Chiyako Nagashima being a close
second.
14) That is another great
thing about APW everyone mat wrestles, even garbage workers like Comini
or Grimes can take it to the mat if need be. The new BET wrestling organization
has hired Modest as their head trainer, which is a super good move, teach
someone to mat wrestle and teach them how to sell and they will be good
workers, no matter what their move set.
15) Murdoch, Tony Jones
and Shane Dynasty
16) Actually Modest wrestled
this match a lot like a face Ric Flair, nothing specific besides the chops
but that was the vibe I got.
17) I know Dusty isn’t
technically dead, but you know.
18) Which was actually
kind of cool, because he backed into the ref and did a fast standing switch
German.
19) Whose chairshots kind
of sucked, I am all for wrestlers not liquefying their brains, but if you
are going to use a chair, use a chair.
20) Although I am not sure
why Murdoch wasn’t DQ”d for German Suplexing the ref, but I guess all questions
can’t be answered.
21) In a very Russoian
nonsensical swerve for the sake of swerve move.
22) It isn’t as good as
Modest v. Daniels but it is better the Modest v. O’ Grady, If this match
was in the 90’s I would have put it somewhere between 5-10 on my Indy ballot
23) U.S. Match of the Year
Contender (23A)
24) And wrestles like a crazier
Evan Koragis
25) Who now looks like Jack
Black (25A) with a dye job
and Shadow WX's wardrobe.
26) The thing that was really
cool was that they worked a coherent and well done sequence with out repeating
any of the spots they did in the 10/8/98 match.
27) Face in Peril,
Playing Ricky Morton, you know the drill
28) Where he smashes his
throat into the guardrail, Jeff Hardy (28A)
takes this bump a lot
29) Which wasn’t all graceful
like Jody Fliesh’s but all crazy and out of control
30) Which he calls the Bitch
Slap
31) I think he calls this
the Pink Poodle
32) Blockbuster/Powerbomb
combo, 3D, Stacked Superplex ect.
33) There was a Battle Royal
in OMEGA which was pretty cool for the Kid Vicious (33A)
Rolling German Supelxes and the end series with Kid Dynamo (33B)
and Willow the Whisp (33C)
and the 1992 Royal Rumble was fun (33D)
34) And that sound you hear
is Murdoch plummeting down the DVDVR 500
35) I remember there was
this huge debate on our board when Joshi Expert Sean Shannon claimed the
~ was invented by Scott Keith and credited Dean with a "primitive" version.
This whole thing overlooked the fact that the DVDVR Playaz only use the
~ as an ironic devise, like in it use here. To place an exclamation point
on a creepy insider term like STICK~!
36) Which was pretty obviously
a slap at our lord and savior, creator of the heavens and earth NOVA~~~!
(36A)
37) Which I would have rather
seen then this match or Jones vs. Morgan BTW.
38) Comini lies down for
Murdoch joining the Shoot Club
39) You have seen it before,
little guy gets thrown around but uses his speed, shows heart, gets flash
pin.
40) From DVDVR #90
APW 8/7/98
"Shooter" Tony Jones vs. "Suicide Machine" Donovan
Morgan
Big style clash here. Jones is kind of like a
tall Taz who sells and doesn't stink, while Morgan is kind of a midgrade
armdraggy highflyer so this match ended up kind of like Alex Porteau v.
AAA Mosco De La Merced . Jones started with some choice amateur throws,
but the offensive transition is kind of nonexistent as Morgan starts throwing
a lot of armdrags and hits a nice tope con hilo from the top rope. Then
there is a quick section where they blow everything including a horribly
botched second rope rana by Morgan. Then they kind of rush to the finish
which has Jones rolling through on a Michinoku Driver II. I actually wouldn't
mind seeing both of these guys again, but they didn't mesh at all, and
ended up having a pretty bad match. I have a feeling Jones vs. Modest or
Jones vs. Murdoch would rule, while Morgan v. Boyce or Morgan vs. Daniels
would be damn good, there shall be NO REMATCH though.
TONY
1) Leaving aside utter
crap like most of what was served up after the Hogan entry into WCW, or
much of the early 90s, or some other things.
2) Way to get those
midcarders over, I guess. Kelly Kiniski didnt go on to do all that much.
Vince McMahon built the colorless Rotunda into a midcard pillar on a couple
of occasions; in a company not built in the 80s to promote wrestlers, McMahon
nonetheless realized that traditional matches and wrestlers were necessary
to provide ballast for the gimmick fluff.
3) Once upon a time,
Pez could work like a motherfucker. I saw him and Flair wrestle a 60 minute
draw as a youngster. The heel turn took him to real step-n-fetch territory
as he joined Paul Jones army along with such workrate luminaries as Teijho
Khan, Baron Von Raschke, and the Barbarian. Of course, they all feuded
with Jimmy Valiant, Mike Naimarks favorite wrestler. Rumors that Naimark
is leaving his squeeze for Jimmy V are out there, but unconfirmable.
4) In fact, there was
a lot of shit in the NWA. Have you forgotten the Road Warriors?
5) In fact, he aged
a lot during the 70s. Here he sports a sort of dissolute Harry Dean Stanton
mien. Speaking of Harry Dean, heres a poem I wrote that references him:
Howard Sprague
Mayberry could never hold you,
much less know you
with your nervous laugh
clacking through civic
bivouacs,
bursting with an unmistakable
Beta males want.
Apologetic, your eyes dart.
Never were you Mayberrys golden child.
Could Siler City have held
you properly, enconsced you
in its solid arms like a lover,
or better, a proxy mother?
Mayberry gelded you: celibate,
beyond the pleasure of a silken
embrace, the press
of limb on flesh,
the clash of musk on talcum.
Star turn. The Caribbean.
30 minutes on a barren isle
with Harry Dean Stanton.
All too inevitable and practiced,
your good nature mince
back into hometown custody,
clutching your hart, clucking over
all that was lost.
Clatter clat clacks the hollow laugh.
Howard.
The subtropical sunburn sure to fade
just as a screen fails, blanks to black.
Andy Griffith was a great show, and Jack Dodson, who portrayed Howard Sprague, was an incredible character actor of the sort that doesnt seem to exist in television anymore. Howard was a great character, though as the show slouched toward the Ken Berry era, it was hard not to notice that the character was in fact being diluted by having a libido and a spine thrust upon him. The Caribbean episode represents Howard at his zenith, and comapres favorably with other great unsung sitcom episodes (like the Leave It To Beaver where Beaver befriends an alcoholic house painter).
6) Classic essay. French
Structuralist Barthes saw wrestling as exaggerated morality plays, in which
the worker was intended to emote in a larger than life fashion. Flair was
the best at this in his era, and Buddy Rogers probably was the most groundbreaking
worker in terms of synthesizing "entertainment" and realism, in my opinion.
7) Which perhaps indicates
that America is, at heart, a sports-entertainment driven wrestling culture,
and always has been; this crowd was waiting for the plot to advance, and
really couldnt give a rats ass about the ring work on a certain level.
Reminds me of the Malenko/Guerrero classic, where so-called hardcore smarts
sat on their corpulent, ample asses and waited for the Sandman to come
out.
8) Many folks will
undoubtedly remember key transition points in Flair matches, closely copied
by HHH today. The face would invariably get the better of the scientific
action in the ring, and then, when he made a mistake, the heel (Flair,
in this case) would work him over outside the ring. Two strands of narrative
are thereby advanced: the idea that the face could become world champ at
any given moment; and the concept of cheating being something that has
a certain validity imbued in its creativity.
9) Pronounced
suplay by Caudle.
10) Gordon Solie put
over the Figure-Four at every opportunity. I remember one Flair match when
the move was reversed and he said something like "In all my years announcing
wrestling, Ive only seen that move reversed once." Credibility of the sort
Bob Caudle never had on his best day, and not because he was a shill, but
because Solie was just that legit and just that much of a believer in the
symmetry of a wrestling match.
11) Imagine if these
two had been given 60 minutes and three falls.
GAEA CRUSH GALS REUNION
(1) The opening Hangman Bobby
Jaggers style promo by Hirota is actually pretty funny. I figured
I'd go ahead undermine all my pathetic whining about the fish in a barrel
called Hirota. The fucked up entrance was pretty cool too with the
mannequins and the Madonna outfit.
(2) Gravy
(3) Twinkies
(4) Arch Deluxe
(5) Cobb Salad with Ranch
Dressing
(6) Outback Steakhouse Blooming
Onion
(7) OreIda Deepfried TaterTots
(8) Though Kosugi is number
one and the best for the Joshi Midnight choker brigade - so that will get
her over Chikayo Nagashima 24-7 on the internet- since the talented Kosugi's
pin-ups are next in line on their pathetic bedwetting agenda after
the copy of B-Bomb is worn out in their assorted mom's basements.
(9)A Footnote
of a review of the SWANK as all fudge
$%$%$%$%$%$%OZ ACADEMY TV 5/6/2000
(by DEAN RASMUSSEN)
Aja Kong vs Chikayo Nagashima:
Aja is the best wrestler in the world because
of matches like this. Nagashima weighs 56 pounds after a normal meal
at Blimpies and looks like a child compared to the girth and majesty of
Aja. aja- being the best in the world- figures out a cool way to
sell
for Nagashima without going for Vader-esque bouts of overcooperation. The
story of the bout is that Nagashima can't use her Best Little Gal Power
Move Arsenal (like her Northern Lights Bomb finisher) against the gigantic
Aja so Chikayo uses arm submissions to counter out of Aja's power moves
and also counteract Aja's big finisher- the Urican. It is a major
credit to Nagashima that she can pull off a match as complex as this- since
she started out as a simple undersized high-flyer, developed a cool-ass
power arsenal and now is credible at submissions. Schneider was the
first to dub her the Dan Kroffett of Joshi since she always has the coolest
and most complex finishes in Joshi- and this match is right up her alley,
as she uses three different attempts at a Death Valley Driver by Aja that
is countered into a switch in one instance, turned into a standing Cross-Armbreaker
in another and ultimately is the move to signal the finish when Aja hits
it on the third attempt in the match. Nagashima is gonna be real
good for a real long time.
Kaori Nakayama vs Sakura Hirota:
Hirota tells jokes in Japanese or acts out her
little skits in the context of Japanese- and let's face facts, I'm not
the smartest guy you'll ever meet because I get lost watching half the
BritComs on BBC America (9A)
and they are in ENGLISH! WOW! Maybe this shit is real comedy gold over
across the Pacific. Who could be sure. It seems to be saving her
hinder from ass-kickings that would have surely come if she wasn't charming
the stiffness out of Aja, Lioness and Kansai. I await the Hotta/Hirota
dream match because our gal Yumiko has a notoriously lousy sense of humor
when it comes to goofy comedy gimmicks. Ooooooo... that would be
fun.... Hirota is an adorable little Japanese gal and I'll leave
her to be Queen Of My Fast Forward Kingdom. Plus I feel so dirty
and old if I look at young and beautiful Nakayama too long so I'm a move
on here, folks.
Sugar Sato vs KAORU (Street Fight):
Sugar sits in her 73 Camaro that her daddy fixed
up for her- putting in a new 351 Cleveland and putting up the scratch for
the deul exhaust. Her daddy adored her and taught her not to take
any shit from anyone- he himself having done six years in the mid-70s for
manslaughter in Shreveport for beating a man to death in a barroom fight
after a fella made an unforward remark about Mr Sato's girlfriend.
Sugar picked up all kinds of bad habits drifting through the South with
her daddy- as her daddy followed the money to any construction job he could
find in the motherfucking horrible Reagan years. When she was only
thirteen, Sugar learned to smoke Marlboro softpacks from her daddy's girlfriend
in Mobile. She learned the dramatic effects of a fifth of Canadian
Mist from her daddy's girlfriend in Tarboro. Sugar always thought
of Missy every time she would turn up the volume of the Heart tape that
would be blaring through the Kenmore speakers that cranked like a motherfucker
in the back of her Camaro. Missy was the only girlfriend her daddy
ever had that actually felt like a mother to Sugar and it broke Sugar's
heart when her daddy told her that they had to leave Tarboro because he
had found work in Rock Hill, South Carolina. Missy was sad, but she
didn't love Mr Sato enough to go with them. Sugar remembers that
her daddy never cried and never spoke of her again. She realized
that her father was being strong for the both of them since he didn't have
the luxury of ever showing weakness to anyone since Sugar was the only
person he was ever close to. She understood now that her daddy may
have been a redneck and a shitkicker and an uncouth bastard, but he loved
his little girl and was going to do what he had to to take care of her.
Sugar tries not to think of the past anymore as she brings the one-hitter
to her lips and takes a lungful of weed that she stole from her daddy's
dresser. "Barracuda" blares out as she takes the last three finger
shot of Canadian Mist and she throws the bottle against the dumpster as
her preparation begins. "Barracuda" is her battle anthem and she
is ready now to beat the shit out of that stuck-up old bitch KAORU.
Her Daddy's new girlfriend Mayumi got Sugar a job wrestling and ever since
she started, Sugar never liked KAORU or her big talking ways in the lockerroom.
Mayumi had spent all day using the crimping iron on Sugar's beautiful hair
and it made her look like Stevie Nicks. Sugar hummed "Like a White
Winged Dove" as Mayumi brushed her hair and Sugar thought intently about
all the shit she wanted to do to KAORU- the woman Sugar hated but also
the woman that didn't really know Sugar existed. Sugar knew that
aspect of her hatred would change tonight. KAORU would know who Sugar
was. (9B)
Chigusa Nagayo/Dynamite Kansai
vs Mayumi Ozaki/Carlos Amano:
Chigusa and Kansai together brings back memories
of the 1993 Thunderqueen Battle where Chigusa validates Kansai's hero worship
after JWP finally gets the win. In this match Amano is unmasked,
unlucha and unsexy. She does take an ass-beating from Kansai and
super stiff Capture Suplex from Chigusa. Amano is what Minoru Tanaka
based huge sections of his tricked-out submissions upon, so Amano is ever
the mat-tastic, arm-breaky treat. Chigusa sells for her thusly and
they have a neat little section of counters and countercounters and actual
freaked-out submissions- as Amano is ever ready with the armbar out of
the Crucifix or the CAB out of body slam. It's all fun and innovative.
Ozaki has carried both Kansai and Chigusa to their best matches in the
last five years so she is adept at making both look really good in this-
taking suplexes to look their hurtiest and leaning into the kicks though
they would kill a normal mortal. Kansai muderlizes Amano with a Viagra
Driver From the Hoary Bowels Of Hell which she follows up with her own
patented Splash Mountain (Black Tiger Bomb). Very decent little match,
97% can be attributed to the toughness of Ozaki and Amano.
Mayumi Ozaki/ Carlos Amano/ Sugar
Sato/ Chikayo Nagashima/ Kaori Nakayama vs. Aja Kong/ Dynamite Kansai/
Chigusa Nagayo/ KAORU/ Sakura Hirota:
This is a fun but disposable match. The
first part is a big batch of old school Lucha ten-man comedy spots, which
were all fun and dopey. Hirota is actually good in this- as she foregoes
the tedious comedy spots that mar her singles matches and actually becomes
the focus of the match as Kansai, Aja, KAORU and Chigusa hit assorted finishers
on Nagashima to let Hirota get the pin- but Nagashima uses all kindsa counters
to escape her certain fate. They finally all just line up and take
turns double stomping Nagashima off the toprope with the saviour
of Nagashima's ribs being Amano as she finally stops Aja from being the
late great Shirley Hemphill size load of double stomp. Nagashima
is saved for a couple of nearfalls by her teammates until she can muster
up the strength to first get a reversal into a roll-up, then she struggles
to finally kill Hirota dead with a Northern Lights Bomb and there is great
joy in the land of OZ.
This is the best OZ Academy special so far. Some really good to great matches and you need to see this.
(10) Number Two would be that Wrestle Yume Factory match with bemasked and Suddenly Sexy Reiko Amano as MASKED ANGEL FREIDA in a match which also featured 24-7 pants-altering hotty named Yagi. Amano in a mask and little pants is like in bad teen movies where the nerdy girl takes off her glasses and takes down her hair from a bun and becomes this seductive sexual being. Shootstyle boyish mat technicians with a secret life as a scantily clad lucha empress is a very alluring idea that I'm behind 100%. WOW~! The Sugar Sato streetfight with KAORU on the Oz academy show is number three for me, just because it was as red-neckly sexually supercharged as MUDHONEY by Russ Meyers.
(11) Not that I ever ordered one of those things from the back of one of those non-Apter mags in the 70s. If you actually have any apartment wrestling on film, internet technology makes it EASY (AND FREE!!) to make it accessible to the beloved DVDVR reader- who would definately want to see it for it's historical value- as opposed to any prurient interests it would garner or whatever... Just get it on the fucking internet already! I....I....mean... AW CRAP!
(12) I went through Macon back in 1994. My wife and I drove the Blue Highway route (go read BLUE HIGHWAYS by William Least Heat Moon) and there was kudzu that stretched as far as you could see- in certain parts of super rural Georgia and I wept at all the fucked up pastoral beauty. That's why I'm mildly disappointed that I'm flying to Canada in mid-August. I wanted to see Vermont and Maine in the daytime, since the last time I drove through , my old band- ULTRACINDY - was touring the Northeast and we drove to Montreal on a whim, so I was doing 80 through the mountains in the middle of a thunderstorm as we drove through Vermont in the middle of the night. We were drunk by 8:00 in the morning when we got to Montreal. It was really fun. We opened for the Swirlies in Boston the next night or something. It was too much fun to actually remember really well. When me and my wife drove to Alabama, we did a makeshift tour of fabulous football fields- we went to Legion Field and saw the Stamps play the ill-fated Barracudds, we went and looked at the stadium at Clemson University and then we looked in on the then-not-fully-constructed Carolina Panthers Stadium. (12A) Driving is the best way to get somewhere because you can't see the kudzu from 15,000 feet. Wow....
(13) I really can't think of anything as confusing as this imagery. I was going to make a comparison to something and the closest thing I could come up with was the scene in Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers where naked women with chain saws are being splashed with buckets of blood- but that pales deeply in comparison to the ornate beauty of KAORU and Ozaki mixed in with the brutal art of pro wrestling and artifice of blading while in such a sexually charged setting. The basis of this match is steeped in the Chigusa vs Dump Matsumoto feud of stark womanly sexuality trying to debauch the innocent Chigusa and make her the debauched beauty that was 1985-era Bull Nakano. Here it is skewed with equal forces of Ozaki trying to bring the alluring KAORU over to the other side- but it is an even moral trade since KAORU takes no moral highground with her sexuallity and neither does Ozaki. I'm trying to figure out if this was the first time a Joshi wrestler has openingly come out like Ozaki did if that is the whole point of the angle. If so, what could be cooler and more balls out than THAT?.
OSAKA
1) Mitsunobu Kikuzawa, who
must be KING INDY SCUM between this, Onita Pro, DDT
and other sundry indies in which he's plied his
trade.
2) It's a high-flying clown
boy who tosses candy to the crowd versus a guy who... who... I give up.
Apparently he's some sort of deity of who blesses people with a fern after
they cough up some shekels. We Playaz need some big-time exposition
for this gimmick.
3) "10 pounds of shit comedy
in a 5 pound bag," if I may so bold as to coin a phrase. =D
4) "No Goddess Marks from
Georgia will be permitted to watch this match." ;)
5) With giant wobbly eyes-
this leads to them doing the Steiner pose as Z crawls through King's legs
and King grabs Z's eyes and starts wiggling them around. You could
go blind doing that, ya know.
6) Legion Of Violence, consisting
of him, Buffalo, Policeman, Quallt and manager Big Dick 269.
7) "No wrestling trainer
in their right mind would teach someone that reversal." --Bryan Alvarez
EDDY vs REY
(1) Back in the glory days
of WCW, where you had the best wrestlers in the world wrestling good to
great wrestling matches every week, there was a legitimate style developed.
Sort of a melding of New Japan Juniors style high impact moves, with Lucha
counters and highflying , with a dabble of U.S. prostyle match pacing.
Eddie Guerrerro and Ultimo Dragon were the two guys most influential in
developing this style, do to both having the mix of Japanese and Lucha
experience. When this was done right it was a joy to see.
(2) This ballot is still a
ways off, but I am torn between this match which was the culmination of
the WCW Cruiser style, Flair v. Steamboat from Spring Stampede 1994 which
lived up to the tradition set by their previous battles and actually integrated
some 1990's offense (2A) and
Beniot vs. Hart which was both technically perfect and emotionally jarring.
(3) There was a lot of outrage
on the internet about Bishoffs plans to take Mysterio's mask at this show,
but considering the way he actually lost it (3A)
it would have been much better to drop it after a classic match like this
one.
(4) Tenay referenced Black
Tiger, Eddies abandoning of the Mascara Magica mask , Rey's previous Colibri
gimmick, Gory Guerreros jealousy of El Santo, When World's Collide, Rey
Mysterio Sr. ect. It was quite wrestling dorkarific, and a big contrast
to his current uselessness.
(5) Who had the best hair ever,
with the full on mullet and the bangs hanging down over the eyes. Very
depressed 80's Cure fan.
(6) Rey had on the unusual
full Purple Body suit, which made him look kind of like a huge grape.
(7) Dynamit Kansai vs. Manami
Toyota, Great Sasuke vs. Black Tiger, Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psicosis
(8) Rey must be 75 pounds heavier
now then he was, as he is ICOPROing himself to a point where now he looks
like Scott Putski's taller brother.
Inoki vs Vader
1) Hold that thought.
2) I swear to God... the three
"WHUMPS!" in succession as his neck and shoulders, his ass and finally
his limp arm hit the canvas... Tsuji screaming "INOKI OUT!!!
INOKI ABUNAI!!!!!" as Inoki sells it literally like Vader killed him...
and the eerie sound of 60,000 people going *dead mother silent*.
This rules.
3) "Don't shoot him, you'll
just make him angry."
4) The rest of this show apparently
consists of Choshu masturbating on the steaming corpse that is UWFi.
And I don't even want to mention M***h-T****a since it'll just lead to
JDW venting on the board for the next week.
Kandori vs. Hokuto
1) I thought this was
so cool, you would never see male wrestlers using such intense outporing
of emotion, but in the context of this match it fit really well, they took
something uniquely feminine and made it part of hard assed professional
wrestling in a non-demeaning, fully appropriate way
JUMBO
1) With full on Sha Na Na
, Akira Fonzerelli, Danny Zuko on the way to the Sadie Hawkins Dance, do
you want to race for pink slips Pompador
2) Toshiaka 3:16 says “I
just signed SHINOBI, someone come to our shows”
3) I totally prefer this
style of All Japan, hard stiff wrestling, rather then a neck bump stuntshow
