| WELCOME TO DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #104! |
Hello! I finally get to delve into the weirdness that was tacked onto the end of the Michinoku Pro tape that I ended up buying twice (see Emporium Page Of ((Qualified)) Hate at DVDVR CyberHeadquarters). Me n Pete are trying to see who can get in the seediest Puroresu promotion reviews this year and I had to trump his early 90's FMW with NEW! NOW!- so judge for yourself. Schneider continues his Journey Into WOMANLINESS as he tackles the foxy ladies of GAEA- as Rev Ray takes a seperate Estrogen-soaked Journey as he wonders aloud about that there JWP. ALL THAT AND RIPPA TOO! We will be Naimarkless this week as he is still concocting the Flying Dutchman called HISTORY OF THE GRACIES- so we will keep you abreast (tee-hee!) SWEET GOD! LOOKIT ALLLLLLLLL OF MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.....
#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ NEW! NOW!-
on SAMURAITV!'s famed BATTLSTATION!- 4/99. (DEAN RASMUSSEN!)
YOUR BACKSTORY: I was trying to figure
out what else to stick on the six hour tape after the trade with Adam took
so many hideous embarrassing turns- so's I talk to my fellow-Wrestling
FREAK- Tim Noel- and I says to him, "Hey, Tim. Whaddya got in that
Lynch Update I actually gotta buy something. Look in the Big Japan
section" (as we all wanna get our mitts on that Honma/Yamakawa match already.)
He mentions that NOW! has a show listed and I remind him that NOW! was
the sleazy promotion that became the MegaRegeneratively sleazy promotion
called FMW and ask him if it's the same. He gives me on his "How
the fuck am I supposed to know" dramatic pauses and I get the tape number
from him- waiting for the hideous and beautiful thing call Sleaziod Japanese
Indie World in my mailbox! WOO-HOO! Then it got here! WOO-HOO!
This was plenty weird and had wads of legit Joshi stuff on it, so it was
a good investment- all in all.
Yasha Kurenai / Keiko Aono VS. Emi Motokawa / Sachie Nishibori: WHOMP ASS! It's EMI~! with her lil IWA sister- the capable little luchaette calles Nishibori! HEY! It's the superhot Yasha Kurenai- contemplating retirement here with her LLPW compatriot Aono and looking superfine while contemplating such! Things are already looking up (so to speak). Emi is all spunky as she stooges Yasha with an eye-poke that was quite akin to Kinard Lang in the Giants game, all this after crimping Aono's legs with a superfab La Tapatia. Emi and suddenly-no-longer -Canadian-flag-bedecked Nishibori make with some low-grade highflying, Aono nearly kills Emi with sloppiness and Nishibori succumbs to Yasha's comical finisher. EMI~! needs to find the way to GAEA already.
Isao Takagi / Yuichi Taniguchi VS. Daisaku / Yusaku: AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION transcribed by Dean Rasmussen.
(DEAN RASMUSSEN and PHIL SCHNEIDER are bored and talking on the phone while dean is trying bluster his way through a tape to review for the now weekly Death Valley Driver Video Review)
DEAN RASMUSSEN: How the fuck am I gonna review this? I have no idea who any of these guys are.
PHIL SCHNEIDER: So. Nobody else will know either. Just make it up.
DR: Yeah, I could make all these fake histories of their lives and shit. It'll be all about the funny....
PS: HEY WAIT! I'll get the book (Idol sent me.)
(Boston Idol sent Phil this COOL-ASS wrestling index because- HELL!- Idol is the coolest motherfucker in the entire world. He sent it to Phil along with wads of TRES SWANK APW for Phil to review- and then, in one of my many lapses of reason, I decided that IIIII should review it- so Phil sent it to me to review and then DVDVR #100 came up and we all quivered in fear of writing anything for two months. SO we talk quite fondly of reviewing all of it. The same thing with the fucking mountain of TRES SWANK WPW that Tom sent. We also talk about doing a big Lucha Index. We also talk about world peace and the LA Clippers not sucking in the future.)
DR: COOL!
PS: This could take a while since I'm just looking for the name. Taniguchi is the one that's fat
DR: The one's that FAT? It's Japanese Indie. That means nothing. Is he REALLY fat with like a leopard outfit on?
PS: Yeah this guys a real roundfaced hog but he's got a Kendo Nagasaki shirt on in the book. YEah it says New Now right here next to the picture. He's 15 kilograms more than Shoji Nakamaki according to the book...
DR: Yeah fatter than Nakamaki. That's the one in the leopard suit. What about Takagi?
PS: Let me look in the Dramatic Dream Team section... Ah Dramatic Dream Team! Takagi is not as fat, big nose, and pock-marked face. A really big nose.
DR: He's got a bandage on his - I guess big- nose. He looks kinda old with sucken eyes?
PS: Yeah. Who are the other two?
DR: Diasaku and Yusaka.
PS: Oh, they are Dramatic Dream Team too. Daisaku is the one with the kicker boots and baggy pants. He looks real womanly in the face one , You wanna kissem on the mouth or something. (we all laugh an uncomfortable laugh)
DR: Do you want to leave in the part about kissing him on the mouth?
PS: Yeah, It'll be funny and we're all about the funny. Yusaku looks like he has light hair...
DR: Looks like Kojima?
PS: Yeah sorta. In his profile, it's all in Japanese except in English it says 'ENDLESS LOVE'.
DR: NO WAY! THAT'S AWWESOME.
PS: Ah fuck that's my phone dying. You gonna be up a while? I'll call you back in forty five minutes.
DR: Yeah I'll be up writing this stuff. I'll review everything up to the Great Takeru match and we'll figure out who's who in that. The wrestling in this one means absolutely nothing.
Mizaki Kana / Carlos Amano VS. Azumi Hyuga / Ran Yu-Yu: I'm still baffled asa to why JWP changed all their wrestlers' names right as I had finally started to figure out who is who. Eh, it's transplanted JWP gals so it has to be.... something. Azumi is Kazumi and Azumi by any other name would make feel like as much of a pig for being so filled with funny feelings while being old enough to her much older uncle. This match was pretty cool- as one always forgets that Azumi is really great, being the suplex machine in this. Ran Yu-Yu (HAHAHAHA!) and Hot Carl Amano go all shooty for awhile and it basically breaks down to every JWP youngster match you've seen with these gals in them, with Azumi flying and suplexing like a Near Superstar and Amano doing freaky shootstyle-cum-lucha set-ups for assorted Cross-Armbreakers. Kana is quite the cute little ass-stomping powerhouse also. Fifty finishers later and Amano with the CAB on RAN YU-YU!
Great Takeru / Keizo Matsuda
/ Leisuke Yamada VS. Shiningami / Onryo / Sato: (Schneider calls back-
A SYNOPSIS!) PS: "Matsuda- Flat top, Big jaw, wide head."
"(YAmada) big hair, lots of zits. In his profile, in English it says "VOICE
OF AMERICA."
~!~
PS: Shiningami is the shittier of the
Zombies (not Onryo).
DR: Ah, the one that does the claw.
What about Sato?
PS: He's the one that isn't a ZOMBIE.
DR: Oh... yeah. Of course. He's
all scrawny and mealy.
(Schneider then realizes that all the
English stuff in everybody's profile is their entrance music- so
Endless Love written there is now an AMAZINGLY COOLER thing to know.
How balls out can you be? )
THE MATCH: This was horrible. The Great Takeru ain't so great. They do the "ref bump/ schoolboy on the heel" finish- which is just as well, I guess.
PART TWO NEXT WEEK as it will bleed into
the HOT BIG JAPAN COVERAGE! MOTEGI!
~$~
#$#$#$#$#$FMW CHAMP FORUM
- 2/23/96, Korakuen Hall. (POGO PETE STEIN!)
Hey, it's the Japanese-cum-Mexican guy
in the mask. He's also wearing a serape so we get the "starchild"
effect when he walks in front of the blue screen with the Champ Forum logo
on it. =)
TAKA MICHINOKU/SHOICHI FUNAKI vs. KOJI
NAKAGAWA/WILD SHOOTER: It's Indy Scum Tag Wars as pre-KDX TAKA and Funaki
take on Koji and Shooter (I'm gonna kick myself when I remember who he
is). Focus here is between Koji and TAKA, who is challenging for
Koji's FMW Juniors title at Kawasaki Stadium in May, and TAKA is ungodly
over with the Korakuen folks. Funaki "KO's" Koji with a sleeper and
Shooter has to go 1-on-2 (Orihara? He hits the moonsault to the floor...),
but Koji
Shamrock revives and snaps on Ted Tanabe
and TAKA. He destroys TAKA on the floor, saves Shooter from tapping
out to Funaki's figure-four, powerbombs the crap out of TAKA and hits a
Liger Bomb for the pin at 10:57. Interesting booking to have the
champ beat the challenger before the title match...
STREETFIGHT: SHARK TSUCHIYA/CRUSHER
MAEDOMARI/BAD NURSE NAKAMURA vs. MEGUMI KUDO/YUKARI ISHIKURA/KAORI
NAKAYAMA: JIP with Kaori and Yukari already juicing from Shark's weaponry,
so at the very least we're spared watching the bitch cut them up.
Hey, Bad Nurse uses a rolling cradle! Bad nurse! BAD NURSE!
To her credit, she *is* selling for the youngsters unlike her cohorts.
Crusher does pull off the coolest move I've ever seen her do, a sort of
Thunder
Fire double-underhook facebuster on
Kaori. Kudo pretty much stays out of the way here, letting her teammates
get the big moves like Kaori hitting a plancha to the floor on Crusher.
Finisher comes when Kudo ducks a double-clothesline from Shark and Crusher
and hits her SpinningKudo Driver on Bad Nurse for the pin at 17:47.
Of course Shark needs her heat <***SARCASM***>, so she jumps Kudo and
they brawl to the back while Crusher and Bad Nurse take out Yukari and
Kaori. Combat Toyoda soon makes the save and CUTS A PROMO on Kudo
for her retirement match at Kawasaki. What aired was actually OK
as the worthlessness of Shark
& Co., Ltd. wasn't televised this
time around.
SCRAMBLE BUNKHOUSE WARGAMES: MASATO
TANAKA/TETSUHIRO KURODA/RICKY FUJI vs. MITSUHIRO MATSUNAGA/W*ING KANEMURA/HIDO:
Neat Wargames setup consisting of a
regular cage with a BWBB suspended
over the ring and a ladder to reach
it, plus handcuffs attached to the cage to cuff people to. Hido and
Tanaka start off and nothing of note happens. Kuroda and Kanemura
come in next (the other wrinkle: each team sends in one person at a time),
but Kanemura runs around and chairs Kuroda while he tries to climb in.
Kuroda sends Kanemura into the cage, climbs in and tips the ladder over
just as Hido is about go grab the BWBB so he takes a sick bump onto the
apron. W*ING Army
takes over and Hido holds Tanaka while
Kanemura climbs the ladder, but Kuroda hits him with a lariat off the top.
Tanaka whips Hido to the buckles and hits him with the BWBB while Kuroda
uses the ladder Cachorru-style and disembowels Kanemura with it.
Finally Matsunaga and Fuji come in... what does this say for Fuji that
he loses a foot-race to Matsunaga on those bionic knees of his?
Tanaka heads
all the way to the top of the cage and
hits a DROPKICK on Kanemura!
Matsunaga then loses his mind (again...)
and goes to the top of the cage himself, but Tanaka joins him and slams
him to the mat. Finally Kanemura completes the Temporary Insanity
trifecta by scaling the cage and putting Tanaka through a table with a
splash. Team FMW comes back as Tanaka elbows the crap out of Kanemura
while Kuroda uses Hido's head like a paper-puncher and makes a big hole
in the table. Kanemura comes back and hits the Human Torch on Kuroda
on the table but Kuroda kicks out. W*ING come back and give Kuroda
a Superbomb, then cuff him to the cage. Kanemura and Hido hit a double
Human Torch on Tanaka but
he kicks out. Fuji and Tanaka
set up the now-destroyed ladder on the ropes, add a chair and set Matsunaga
there... it collapses, but Fuji heads up top anyway and splashes Matsunaga.
Kuroda ties up Hido while Fuji and Tanaka give Matsunaga a double fishermanbuster,
then Tanaka hits a screwdriver on Kanemura for a near-fall. Tanaka
hits a Tornado DDT on Kanemura, then suddenly a wrestling match breaks
out as the two work a cool sequence until Tanaka hits the (Roaring/Rolling)
Elbow for the pin at 16:50. Postmatch Victor Quinones and the Vicronies
debut as he, Mr. Pogo and the Headhunters hit the ring and destroy both
teams. Really great match, as
all six guys were working at a million miles an hour and everything was
focused on the ring due to the cage. One of the better garbage matches
you'll ever see.
~#~
@#@#@#@#@#@#@ Hikari Fukuoka
Retirement Show - 3/28/99-
(REV RAY DUFFY!)
The show opens with Hikari dropping
the Open Weight class title to Azumi Hyuga after Azumi has her fucking
ribs destroyed with a moonsault stomp. Azumi hits an MD-II, a spider german
and another MD-II to win the belt.
Ran Yu Yu/Kayoko Haruyama
v. Yuka Nakamura/Yoshiko Tamura (Neo ladies) : The Neo gals
charge at the bell and Ran... ummmm. breaks Yuka with an elbow smash at
the start. Nakamura's body is carried to the back and Misae Genki
steps in in her warm up outfit and a t-shirt to sub for her fallen lil'
buddy. Tamura throws me by not wearing her usual color scheme.
Genki beats up on Kayoko and throws her to Ran to tag in. Ran and
Genki wail on each other with chops and slaps at the start with Genki taking
over and working a half crab. Tamura gets the tag and stomps down
Yu Yu before eating a forearm in the corner. Both gals take turns
killing the other with low level release gemans. Kayoko gets in her
butt drop roll over into a bridge and a spine bomb both which are kicked
out of. Kayoko's top rope
offense usually backfires on her resulting
in Tamura getting in some offense. Tamura reverses a corner whip
into 2 drop kicks off the ropes and hits a german which make Yu Yu make
the save. Genki comes in an works over Kayoko until Ran interferes
with an enzugiri. Genki has a good outing with some good looking
suplexes, an airplane spin into a snake eyes type move and a run up the
corner buckles plancha. Ran and Genki are not afraid to work stiff
with each other (or at least make it look like they are). Ran escapes
a Genki-Driver (Emerald Frozen/ Dreamer Driver) attempt with a sleeper
and Tamura makes the save. Ran goes up top, Tamura stalls her for
a Genki chokeslam, followed by a top rope elbow. Tamura scores a
near fall with her double wrist armsault. Ran escapes a superplex
attempt with Haruyama's help, hits a diving enzugiri and a german for a
two. Eventually, Haruyama's in with Tamura and gets caught up top
AGAIN. She gets the double wrist armsault from the top and a second
one to put her away. Post match, Genki does some mic work towards
Ran. The match is at it's best when Ran and Genki are in. Haruyama
has a ways to go.
Clips of the undercard matches are shown leading to a Hikari montage as "Close to You" by the Carpenters plays. You know, when I normally think of the Carpenters, Moonsault Footstomp doesn't pop in my head, then again, considering how Karen died, maybe there is a connection.
Carlos Amano/Comando Bolshoi/Azumi
Hyuga v. Hikari Fukuoka/Candy Okutsu/Hiromi Yagi : The reunited
Hi-Chans do their pose at the start of the match and Amano and Hikari start,
with a test of strength which degenerates into head butts which Amano has
the advantage with. Hikari drops with an elbow and tags into Yagi.
Amano and Yagi tag it to the mat and Bolshoi gets the tag. Bolshoi
works on Yagi briefly before Candy comes in and they work a leg hold on
each other, which leads to each one biting the other (more specifically,
Candy biting the clown nose) before we get another tag into Azumi and another
quick tag to Amano as they focus on Candy's leg. Hikari gets the
tag in and gets the advantage on Amano, doing a dancing while I stand on
your fingers and then stomp on them. Yagi gets the tag and top rope
drop kicks Amano back to her corner. Azumi gets the tag and Yagi
gets her in a top rope ipponzei. Candy gets the tag and gets the locomotion
underhook suplexes from Azumi which Yagi saves the pinfall from.
Hikari and Bolshoi end up with each other in the ring. Bolshoi gets
her rope walk backwards and forward with the other Hi-Chans shaking the
ropes mercilessly. She then challenges Hikari to do the spot, which
she does rather shakenly as her partners steady the ropes for her.
They work a spot where Amano tries to get revenge for the earlier finger
stomp, but Hikari gets her fingers out of the way first. Amano
works a half crab on Yagi and Bolshoi comes in and uses her foot to push
Yagi's leg back further. Azumi and Hikari end up in together, Hikari hits
the run up the ropes
moonsault body press and all 3 of the
Hi-Chans get their opponents in a really rediculous looking submission
hold out of what look likes a tiger driver set up. The younger gals
fight back with Amano and Bolshoi hitting a double kneebar and Azumi hitting
a top rope double stomp. Azumi unloads with about 5 underhook
backbreakers. Bolshoi gets trapped and takes a trifecta of top rope
splashes from the Chans. Bolshoi works over Candy after avoiding
a moonsault with an uranage and a wakigatame. Amano gets the tag
and Candy fights her way out of her attacks and tags to Yagi. Amano
and Yagi take it to the mat again as they work knee bars and assorted different
aways to slap on a cross armbreaker that rocks in a female BattlArts sort
of way. Amano catches Hikari in a cross arm breaker, but the Hi-Chans
make the save. Azumi works with Hikari before Yagi gets the tag.
Azumi counters a Yagi attempt at Eddy Guerrero style forward roll bodyscissors
cradle into a wheelbarrow suplex and then follows it up with a few locomotion
german suplexes. Both sides tag, Bolshoi drops Hikari with
a Shotay. Hikari
fights back and goes for a tiger driver,
but Amano takes out her leg. Bolshoi puts Hikari up on her shoulders and
Amano takes her down with a cross armbreaker from that position, forcing
Yagi to make the save. Amano tries to do another cross armbreaker
off the ropes and Hikari knocks her to the floor, setting up the Hi-Chans
plancha trainwreck with ends with a Hikari moonsault to the floor.
Amano tossed back in, Hi-Chans hit a triple stuff powerbomb followed by
a triple diving head butt from 3 different corners of the ring which Azumi
and Bolshoi make the save for. Hikari and Candy hit moonsaults on
Amano and then try to convince Yagi to do one too. Yagi goes up and hits
a backwards jump into a double stomp, which Hikari follws up with.
She goes for another moonsault but finds Amano's feet. She's whipped into
a corner. Azumi drop kicks her, Bolshoi shotay's her, Az
umi whips Yagi into her, and Hikari
has a shocked look on her face as then Candy is whipped into her and Candy
clotheslines her, Mizaki runs in and drop kicks her, followed by another
of the seconds with a running knee followed by Amano with a clothesline
into a Tiger Mask style snap take over into a bridge for a two when one
of the seconds (I think Maya Hashimoto) makes the save. Amano hits
another for two and tags in Bolshoi. Bolshoi sets up Hikari for something,
but Yagi knocks her down and Hikari kills the clown with a moonsault stomp
as Yagi and Candy hold her out. Amano gets one and then the Hi-Chans
hunt down Azumi who tries to run away and hide on the floor. She's
lucky though as she only has to take the Hikari somersault drop kick from
the top. They go to give Bolshoi one but Hikari takes out
the Hi-Chans. Bolshoi with a german
for two which Yagi saves her. Bolshoi hits the top rope uranage but
gets only a two. Hikari avoids a shotay and hits her Tiger Driver.
Candy and Yagi top rope drop kick Bolshoi down, Hikari hits a moonsault
for two. Hikari works some near falls until Bolshoi hits another
Wakigatame. Candy saves her and hits a powerbomb. They hit
3 diving headbutts onto Bolshoi for another two. Hikari with a top
rope drop kick and another tiger driver for twos. Bolshoi ranas out
of another tiger driver and works for a neck submission but the time runs
out and the match ends in a 30 minute draw. Then, Dynamite Kansai
runs in and drops Hikari with a clothesline. It's last licks time
as the JWP roster run into hit their moves. Devil hits the Lyger
Bomb. Yu Yu hits an airplane spin into a fall away slam, Mizaki hits
a senton, Yagi hits an ipponzei. They roll over Hikari for a corner
as Devil and Kansi climb up for a double double stomp, but the seconds
are nice enough to spare her that fate, as everyone rolls her away from
it and they group kick down Devil and Dynamite. The Hi-Chans do their
group pose one more time.
The show ends with everyone coming out one by one and presenting Hikari with a rose. Everyone has a tape'd piece with them saying a farewell in a window. Dynamite's the last wrestler in and she has Hikari clothesline her as a going away present. The president of the league gives her a present last and he and Hikari do something that's sort of like a crotch chop that I've seen Team No Respect do and I saw Hikari, Azumi and Alexander Otsuka do the week before in the King & Queen tournament. They have the 10 bell salute and they do the group pick up toss and drop on her.
This is a pretty choice match.
It's got some boss moves and is also fun.
JWP is hurt by losing their top star,
but they've got some really good
people to take up the slack like Azumi
and Amano, even Bolshoi, who when not
in her goofy clown mode, is a good little
wrestler.
!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! GAEA
Television 7/99ish
(PHIL SCHNEIDER!)
RIE + Toshie Uematsu v.
Sugar Sato + Chiyako Nagashima: Nagashima and Sato are probably
the best tag team in women's wrestling. Uematsu is the least of the
debut GAEA class and former WCW Women's Cruiserweight champion, while
RIE is the former Bad Nurse Nakamura, who despite having a great name REALLY
STINKS. Sato and Nagashima do their best, and actually build to a reasonably
hot ending, but RIE is so BAD that she kind of drags the match down. Uematsu
looked pretty good, htting some nice punches and some freaky roll ups.
She pales in comparison to her classmates, but she isn't a bad little worker.
Chiyako Nagashima v. Sonoko
Kato: Mercy, mercy me, this match ROCKED. These two are so good
for wrestlers in their third year, and the match the worked was all
complex and intricate in it's execution. It seemed like every move had
multiple counters and counter-counters. For example, Kato tries to set
up the rolling fireman's carry from the top, Nagashima turns that into
a Rings of Saturn, Kato then breaks free and slaps on a kneebar with Kato
standing in the ring and Nagashima on the top rope. Then Kato hits a big
kick, takes Nagashima to the
other corner and hits the rolling firemans
carry. The entire match was that
complex, multiple moves each one connecting
to the previous, the end was super with each wrestler teasing their finisher,
with it being countered, until Nagashima hits the fishermans buster for
the win.
KAORU + Meiko Satomura
+ Toshiya Yamada v. Etsuko Mita + Lioness Aska + Sugar Sato: These
GAEA v. SSU six-lady tags are kind of like EMLL six-man matches, or 1997
MPRO tag matches, they are all really great, they are all sort of the same
and they are hard to tell apart. This had all the greatness you would
expect, multiple false finishes, KAORU
moonsaults to the floor, and twisting moonsault sentons, Yamada and Aska
kicking girls in the face, Aska doing her
patented, Put-the-folded-table-leg-down-across-a-girls-stomach-and-give-her-a-top-rope-double-stomp,
thus turning her ovaries into cole slaw
spot, plus other assorted goodness. Meiko continues her beat the stars
tour, by pinning Mita with Mita's own Death Valley Bomb. All these matches
rock and this is no exception.
Lioness Aska + Chiyako Nagashima + Kaori Nakayama v. Sonoko Kato + Meiko Satomura + Sakura Hirota: This is a good match but it is less then the previous match, mostly because of the presence of the average Hirota and Nakayama. Bunches of neat spots, including Aska powerbombing her partner Nagashima on Kato, cool shooty reversals by Meiko and a sweet powerbomb reversal of a springboard rana by Satamura. Hirota was the focus of the match however, and her continued mediocrity poses an interesting question about GAEA. The first class of GAEA trainees consisted of Sonoko Kato, Meiko Satamura, Suger Sato, Chiyako Nagashima and Toshie Uematsu. The first four are currently in the top dozen of working women's wrestlers and Uematsu isn't far behind. However the subsequent classes have only produced the uninspiring Hirota, while the rest of her classmates have scattered to the dregs of Indy wrestling (IWA Japan, Mobius, New NOW). The other young girl spots have been taken by stinky FMW refugees (RIE, Nakayama). GAEA is on a hot streak now with the veteran matches POPPING BIG HOUSES, but in 5 years I could see them having an All Japan problem, with big 5 matches and nothing on the undercard, they need to fire up that dojo again and pop out some more prospects.
Aja Kong v. Chigusa Nagayo:
This
was one of those Chigusa "DRAMA" matches that I don't cotton too so much.
The beginning was cool, with the two legends locking up in a modified arm
wrestling test of strength. Then the broke into the fat girl high flying
section, with Aja doing a sweet tope, and Chigusa doing a plancha. Then
the drama kicks in, Aja hits a Northern Lights Bomb, and Chigusa gets right
back up, showing her spirit. That sucks when a crappy wrestler like Hawk
does it,
and it sucks when Chigusa does it. The
rest of the match was more of the same, with Aja hitting a bunch of urakens
with Chigusa getting progressively weaker, hitting a uraken of her own,
and a cross armbreaker combo, but mostly taking the beating, before Aja
finishes her off with a gloveless uraken. It wasn't a bad match, persay
the stuff was executed well, and the crowd was really into it, but it is
a style of match I don't like much, and I didn't like this one.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$$$$$$$ why she's the girl from
the chainstoreSINGLESGOING STEADY why she's the girl
from the chainstore +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jumbo Tsuruta v. Genricho
Tenryu 6/5/89 (I hope)- (PHIL SCHNEIDER): (So me and Dean
were talking, trying to figure out who we would make the wrestler of the
week for issue #103. I suggested El Hijo Del Santo, but Dean mentioned
that we had done a ton of Santo matches in #100, then he broached Terry
Funk, but I mentioned that we really don't have the breadth and scope of
his career available on tape. Then I had a brainstorm, LET'S DO TENRYU,
Dean was juiced because it let him make Road Warrior jokes, plus I would
finally have an excuse to watch that Tenryu v. Tsuruta match which everyone
says is so great, so I pop in my Best of 1989 tape and fast forward till
I see those two in the ring. I watch the match, and it was pretty good,
nice tope by Tenryu, brutal botched powerbomb by Tsuruta, good stuff, seemed
a little overrated to me though. So I write that sucker up and I am
immediately smacked around by the All
Japan dorks on the "other" site. So I pop in the trusty matchlistless Best
of 1989 and fast forward until I get another glimpse of Tenryu's Black
Revolution jacket, this match has the right finish so hopefully I have
got it right and can redeem myself in the eyes of the AJ cognecetti)
Coming into this match I was expecting
a classic All Japan style wrestling match, what I got was a brutal, stiff
as fuck brawl. Tenryu and Tsuruta just beat the ever living crap out of
each other. My favorite part of the match was when Tenryu went to the guard
and just started laying in the forearms on Tsuruta's face, it looked as
rough as some of the sections of Aska v. Hotta. Tsuruta does his
part beating, Tenryu like his name was Genricho Kikuchi including several
kicks right to Tenryu's face, a nasty lariat where his fist hits Tenryu
in the throat, and three unprotected second rope kneedrops to Tenryu's
head. I was really into this match for 90% of it. There is nothing I love
more then stiff wrestling and this match was right up there with the stiffest
I have seen, the actual wrestling portions of this match were fine and
dandy as well, but I just didn't buy the finish at all. Tsuruta just
beats the crap out of Tenryu for most of this match, then he misses a lariet,
Tenryu hits a not-as-crappy-as-usual-but-still-pretty-crappy enzigiri,
two well below average powerbombs and gets the pin. It was out of nowhere,
and I thought it
took away from the match flow and dropped
this match from classic status. Still damn good though and well worth checking
out.
~!~
THREE-WAY STREETFIGHT: ROCK N ROLL EXPRESS
& ARN ANDERSON vs. STUD
STABLE & DUTCH MANTELL vs. HEAVENLY
BODIES & BOBBY EATON (SMW 4/2/93,
Pikeville, KY)- (POGO PETE STEIN!):
I was in the process of rewinding to the Vader/Takada match until I popped
the tape in and it picked up with this match. Suffice to say that
I have GOT to stock up on more of this stuff because this is
about as old-school great as it's gonna
get for the 90s. The fun starts with perhaps the single greatest
sequence of "pissed-off redneck" interviews you'll ever see leading into
the match. Motivation, Intention, Hype. Motivation, Intention,
Hype. It'd be next-to-impossible for most any match to follow those
interviews but
somehow they pull it off with the combination
of insane violence and good ol' nuclear Southern heat. There's too
much action going on to even attempt to justify a play-by-play for this
match with nine wrestlers, Jim Cornette and Mark Curtis all running all
over the joint, but looking back it's cool to see that they're using chairshots
and not having to crack the other guy's skull with the chair to get
a pop. At some point Gibson and
Eaton brawl on top of one of the basketball backboards in the gym and Gibson
toasts his ankle falling off. Another great thing is that the crowd
quickly gets drained by all of this, but all it takes is Dutch to choke
out that evil Cornette with Shoo Baby for them to go nuts again.
Stud Stable is eliminated first when Gibson pins Robert Fuller off a Morton
chairshot. Morton gets dropped and Eaton and Prithcard hit him with
sequential Rocket
Launchers but Arn evens things up with
a fire extinguisher. He follows by DDT'ing the entire heel team, then the
faces set up a table and the heels get run into it. Cornette gets
his turn last, and he's such the man that he leans right into the table
for maximum effect, which results in a nasty bump on his head later.
Gibson then slaps a figure-four on Cornette, bad ankle and all, but Pritchard
puts something on his knee and nukes Gibson with a Bombs Away for the pin
and match.
As great as the match proper is, I still
prefer the interviews if for no other reason than to hear Arn say "heebie-jeebies."
=D
~%~
GREAT SASUKE VS JUDO SUWAI- MICHINOKU PRO 4/99- (DEAN RASMUSSEN): This is from the PERSONALLY controversial tape (see the Wrestling Emporium Qualified Hatred Page) and was about as good as you would expect- as Great Sasuke is WILDLY RESURGENT and Judo Suwai is ever the Rudo's Rudo of Japan. The beginning is all just a bunch of stuff as they kinda fiddle around with half-assed submissions and dropkick each others knees but don't actually work on the knee and go for suplexes and block them- and other assorted wrestling approximations to kill time until the onslaught of finishers- as this is the luchafied version of the New Japan Juniors match as filtered by and made cooler by MP and TORYUMON these days. They finally get around to someone going on the offensive when Judo FOILS a Sasuke Asai Moonsault attempt and starts busting up Sasuke with the help of his CRAZY MAX pals. It's kinda disconcerting that a large amount of the match is basically A CRAZY MAX HEAT SEGMENT! with the Great Sasuke- as I guess Sasuke A.) felt that Suwai wasn't ready to pull off a main event singles match just yet, or B.) Sasuke has this Konan/Heyman "MUST BOOK MATCH NO MATTER WHAT" gland that he can't quite reel in yet. The triple team was goofy in a really Sports-Entertainment-level crappy kind of way- in that there was this preposterously extended ref bump that somehow knocked Ted Watanabe out long enough to do a whole middle section out of a CRAZY MAX vs SASUKE/NANIWA/TM4 match - right down to Sasuke reversing a Superbomb into a Hurricanrana and taking out all three so's he can make the HOT TAG TO... oh wait. Either way, past the CREATIVE BOOKING! Suwai hits a swanky Tope and Sasuke hits really nice Springboard Hurricanrana to complement his usual beautiful array of truly graceful lucha in-ring moves. i would have liked some actual psychology in this match instead of MICHINOKU PRO IS ORP UKONIHCIM but it's still pretty watchable and really good in spots.
WCW- Ricky Steamboat vs. Brian Pillman - Lumberjack Match- (PHIL RIPPA!): This took place on Saturday Night. It was that period when Steamboat was one half of the “unified” tag team champions with Shane Douglas while Pillman, sporting the GOATEE OF HEELDOM, was just starting to team with Steve Austin (soon to be known as the Hollywood Blondes.) The Lumberjacks are of some note too. In addition to Douglas and Austin (which screams screwjob ending), surrounding the ring are: a face Steve Regal, Cactus Jack, Scotty the Body (or whatever the hell Scott Levy’s gimmick was at the time), a very pasty Rob Van Dam, Tex Slainger and Shanghi Pierce, someone who looked a lot like Dustin Rhodes, Vinny Vegas (hey look, it’s that oaf Kevin Nash). I know there were one or two others but I can’t remember. Steamboat and Pillman wrestle for like 9 years. It is back and forth action with Steamboat doing his usually selling like he was on the verge of death. The match is also notable because something happened that I don’t remember every happening. The match ENDED during the commerical break. During the second commerical break I might add. When we get back, Jim Ross announces a decision and that “the video tape machines were rolling”. So they just so us the rest of the match. Weird. Anyway, Steamboat is in control, the lumberjacks start brawling and Austin sneaks in the ring behind the ref and waffles Steamboat so Pillman can get the win. Lots of good wrestling on free TV. Can’t beat that.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
YOUR WRESTLER OF THE WEEK
IS..... VADER!
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
SUPER VADER vs. NOBUHIKO TAKADA (UWFi
12/5/93, Jingu Stadium) (PETE STEIN!): I just have to get this off my mind:
Whoever came up with the idea of holding an outdoor show in the beginning
of DECEMBER should be drawn and quartered. What, New Japan had an
exclusive on the Dome? That said, this is pretty damn good and dramatic
if not as good as their rematch (which I seem to have misplaced, hence
this one). Vader does a very cool, low-key prematch interview where
he talks about how he "did not come here to look good... I came here to
win." Match starts out with a long feeling-out process until Vader
drops Takada and lays in some hard slaps, then slaps on a headlock until
Takada makes the ropes. Vader continues the attack with body punches
and a rear sleeper; Takada throws his kicks but Vader "isn't fazed" by
them (in "shoot" terms he no-sold them =D). Vader takes him down
but
Takada goes for the armbreaker and Vader
has to take a rope-break. Takada comes back with the kicks and there's
a great shot of Vader in the corner looking like a wounded, pissed-off
grizzly bear as he's taking this. Finally he catches a kick, drops
Takada, slaps Takada in a headlock, throws some shotays and absolutely
CRANKS on the headlock to a huge pop. Off a rope-break Takada comes
back by kicking away at Vader's leg like he's trying to chop it down and
use it for kindling.
Vader takes an 8-count but comes back
with a massive spear and more shotays while Takada's down, and Takada actually
has to roll to the floor to escape the onslaught. Vader gets pissed
at the ref and actually slaps him here, but the ref isn't even fazed by
it and the crowd reacts like, "Well! That was different!" Vader
gives Takada two Colorado Judo Slams (read: powerslams =P), slaps on a
waki and
turns it into a full nelson but Takada
makes the ropes. Takada comes back with more kicks, dropping Vader
and applying a choke from behind. He gets back up and throws still more
kicks, then drops Vader and applies a V2 Armlock, turns it into the armbreaker
and gets Vader to tap at 14:23. Vader pulls up a stool, sits down
and milks this for all it's worth... and to his eternal credit, he does
such a great job selling this that when I first saw it back in '94 I really
thought he'd screwed his arm up. He even has an out for losing here
since he doesn't have any experience working these kinds of matches while
Takada's been working them for years. Incredibly, the rematch is
even better... and offhand I can't think of anyone else in Japan who got
TWO clean wins over Vader. 'Course, JDW or someone else will surely
correct me on this one. ;) Never mind... just remembered Misawa.
=P
Leon White v. Rambo - 8/91- (PHIL SCHNEIDER): This match is from Germany and is for the CWA title. Euro wrestling is notable for it's mat wrestling and it's stiffness, and while this match didn't have much mat wrestling it did have a whole helping of Vader potatoing Rambo. I am not sure if this Rambo is the same as Puerto Rican Rambo, Mexican Rambo, Maryland Rambo or Portland Rambo-who-Art Barr-shot-on, but he was a decent little worker, at least he was willing to stick his face right into Vader's punches. They used the round system, which can be a distraction, but was used well here, with Rambo hitting a belly to back suplex and Vader getting saved by the bell. The ending was lame, as they brawl into the crowd and Vader shoves an old guy (possibly Otto Wanz I DON'T KNOW) and gets Dqed. For a wrestling match this wasn't that special, but it was a must see ass stomping, Vader knocked IQ points off Mr. Rambo, and it was fun to watch.
Vader v. Kenta Kobashi : Hey, due
to my great filing system, this was the first Vader match from Japan.
This is from the '99 Championship Carnival. We're joined with Kobashi going
up for the fatter than the Head Hunter with diabetes moonsault which comes
up empty. Vader hits Kobashi's charge with a Vader attack and tosses
him to the floor. A Vader attack off the apron to the floor draws
screams of panic from women in the audience. Vader sets up Kenta
on the railing and Vader Attacks his back... and then falls over him to
the other side. That was to be as evil a bump to take as Mark Henry's
vertical splash on the ropes that has his slide all the way out to the
floor. Kobashi takes two splashes and kicks out. Vader punches
him in the
corner, Vader attack and a second rope
splash garners another two count. Kobashi holds his stomach, thinking eating
the bucket of tender roast wasn't suck a hot idea. Vader holds up
Kobashi and nails him with short arm lariats sending the sweat flying like
waves crashing on a rock, but they won't drop Kobashi. Kobashi does
to the body with a punch, a back kick and then work on Vader's leg with
knee cap drop kicks and a dragon screw. Kobashi works an ankle lock and
pulls Vader back from reaching the ropes once. But as we all know,
submission holds never work in All Japan. Vader goes for a release
german, but Kobashi rolls forward and hooks a kneebar, but Vader hits the
ropes. Vader with back fists to set up the powerbomb which gets back
dropped out of. Kobashi charges with a lariat, but Vader hits one
as well and both guys are down. Kobashi's up first and hits a body
slam and moonsaults Vader for a near
fall. Vader gets up and hits an 800 pound lariat that only keeps
Kobashi down for two. Vader with a release german for a two that
may have been a 3 had he gotten his body across Kobashi. Kobashi
hits a german with the same results. Vader up with punches and a
corner Vader attack followed with a lariat into the corner. A Vader
DDT gets him a two and a splash gets him another two. Both men slap
each other from their knees. Kobashi hits a spinning chop for another
near fall. Both men up. Vader with headbutts and a punches,
Kobashi slips behind for an inside cradle which ends the match as teh time
expires. Overall, they've had better matches in the past, but we
do learn one thing:
The Japanese build some quality ring
rails to support the weight of Vader and Kobashi on top of them.
UWA- Big Van Vader/ Fabuloso Blondy/ Cien Caras vs El Faracon/ el Satanico/ Lizmark- 1989ish MAYBE?- (DEAN RASMUSSEN): the Lucha Vader is the least of the Vader's if this- the only Vader avec Luchadores I have in my Cavernous collection here at DVDVR CyberHeadquarters- is any indication. The fact he is in with (YEESH!) Cien Caras (with a mask yet!) doesn't make up for the fact that this sucked and it actually included frickin younger versions of the Still Viable In The Nine Nine Satanico AND Lizmark . The first caida starts with Fabuloso Blondy doing a fine version of the star-spangled Banner- though he blows the "And the Rockets red glare" section. This was the only fun part as Vader is clueless and basically potatoes the hell out of everybody in the ring. They all freak-out and it looks like Satanico and Lizmark try to bust him up back pretty good legit. It kinda settles into a crappier than I'm used to Lucha match- leading up to the Vader Corner Clothesline for the first fall. The second Caida is fun because- after a TOTALLY AAA'd tope by Faracon(Pharaon?), Vader and Faracon (Pharaon?) brawl into the crowd and Vader catches a FULL Fresca right upside the head and is actually kinda woozy for the rest of the caida. They do the "two guys pin the big guy but the big guy kicks out" schtickt and then Vader takes the Big Show fatguy bump and Lizmark hits a Big Flying cross-body block on Fabuloso as Satanico slaps a preposterous submission on Cien Caras and we call it a crappy caida. The third caida is the worst as Vader is totally blown up by this point and can't really do anything well until the finish- which was Lizmark halfway hitting a toprope Sunset Flip with Vader killing him with his big fat keister. I love Vader but Vader was so very not good in this match and I'm guessing any Lucha in general. I mean, stiffness in this match was as freakish and out-of-place as his stiffness in the WWF. Plus his style doesn't mesh well with complicated Lucha spots and it ends up looking like one of those Solomon Grundy matches you love so much. I dunno. He was still pretty green too. I mean, he rules- just not here.
The Man They Call Vader
vs. Shawn Michaels - Summerslam 1996- (PHIL RIPPA): This was that
really annoying period where Leon White was always called The Man They
Call Vader since the “Big Van” part was trademarked. I’m still surprised
that it didn’t start appearing on TV as The Man They Call Vader ™. This
is one of , if not the best, Vader in WWF matches. The match does something
you don’t see much of anymore in the era of three minute matches - It tells
a story. It is the classic tale of the big, power heel vs. the hero, tiny
face champion. Michaels gets tossed around like a rag doll and sells like
a champ for Vader. He also gets foiled whenever he tries something like
a punch or clothesline. He’s only offense is his highflying spots, like
the tope suicida that you see in almost every WWF commerical. Mr. Perfect,
who was doing color, gets off a great line after a particular nasty Vader
suplex. “Hey Michaels, why don’t you nip up now”. I still haven’t figured
out if I truly like the false finishes throughout the match. I am leaning
towards liking because it worked in the context of Vader kept winning but
not getting the belt and that is why he came to the arena so he will keep
wrestling till he gets his belt. False finish number #1 comes after both
wrestlers fly over the top rope, with Vader misses the ring apron by about
2 millimeters. Vader recovers first and gorilla press slams Michaels across
the railing. For once this spot look very nasty. Michaels staggers around
like he just left a Syracuse parking lot and Vader gets the countout win.
Jim Cornette gets on THE STICK! and uses some Back to the Future psychology
on the Boy Toy to get him back in the ring. False Finish #2 comes when
Cornette throws the racket in the ring but Michaels gets it first and whacks
away at everyone in sight. DQ. Cornette bitches some and Gorilla Monsoon
restarts the match. They go right into the finishing sequence as Michaels
hits the Sweet Chin Music which Vader barely kicks out of. Of course Vader
really doesn’t kick out all that well and there is a little confusion in
the ring. Meanwhile the announcers sell the fact that Vader is mean and
nasty that it takes more than one superkick to do the job (pun most certainly
intended). Vader nails a wicked powerbomb on Mr. Hickenbottom and goes
for the Vader bomb. The crowd goes nuts because this is the move that pinned
Michaels in a tag match at Capital Carnage (I think. It coulda been RAW).
Cornette cons Vader into doing the moonsault instead. Well all the indecision
means Michaels has time to roll out of the way and then hit his own moonsault
for the win. Very good match on an otherwise lackluster card.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NEXT WEEK: BIG JAPAN!
more NEW NOW! OTHER STUFF! BARRY WINDHAM! BARRY WINDHAM! BARRY WINDHAM!
************************************************************
THE DEATH VALLEY PLAYBOYS.
six fists in the face
of wrestling
I first saw you- you were
in blue jeans- your eyes couldn't hide- anything
-BIG STAR
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