The WCW Worldwide Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work
on WCW Worldwide by Dean Rasmussen
The Weekend of July 3rd to 5th, 1998
Fat Tony Gancarski is still plying the services
of the GANK all over the NorthEast so here's another fill-in! LOVE IT!
I SAY LOVE IT!
What Worked
HEY! Magnum Tokyo and Bobby Blaze weren't afraid to have a good little
match. Magnum gets in his toprope hurricanrana and does a disturbing little
lap dance plus he does a homage to the Master with the Ultimo Dragon TigerMask
Sayama spinning kick sequence- YES! A HOMAGE TO A HOMAGE! You don't get
that on Nitro or RAW! Blaze does a lot of less-than-spectacular suplexes,
but I dug the butterfly suplex into the Northern Lights suplex, but it
wasn't Chris Benoit-like, but what the hell is? Magnum leans into a kick
to the face by Blaze LIKE A MAN and it looks great. Blaze is a good worker
and Magnum Tokyo is gonna be a REALLY good worker to possibly an actual
GREAT WORKER in two years so this match is a no brainer for the wonderful
and frightening world of WCW Worldwide.
Spike Moore and Lenny Lane had an okay match for the simple reason that
I'M COMPLETELY INSANE! How do I know that I'm insane?!?! Because I loved
Moore's idiot "I'm a Lil Road Warrior" wrestling style. Kinda like if Scott
Putski was good or something. Hell, he hit all of his powermoves and had
a lot of verve, what else could I ask for from a young punk? Lenny Lane
just sold the whole match, which is better than if he attempts to do a
bunch of stuff sometimes- because HEY! when Lenny Lane is on he's really
not bad, but when he's off, nobody stinks more in the whole world of WCW
Cruiserdom. They blow a spot and the Bulldog was weak, but I like this
Spike guy as quite the rookie Worldwide Warrior.
ALLRIGHT! The Villanos! Golly, they fuckin rule. Hey. It's High Voltage.
Whaddayaknow. HV don't irritate me like they irritate other folk. They
aren't the worst wrestlers on earth. Hell, this would have been REALLY
good if it wasn't a measly three minutes long. The Villanos do a perfect
Midnight Express impersonation for the bulk of this and since they are
just really smooth workers like all good rudos are, there is very little
that High Voltage has to do but sell and go to the finish, so once again-
the Villanos are the perfect rudos and make something out of nothing. Not
a lot of something, but a enough to work. This is the key to the coolness
of Worldwide- you have two teams that aren't pushed; there is no continuity
so there is no idiot storyline to alot an intricate screwjob; you are booking
in a vacuum so you just tell your boys that HV is going over so go out
and wrestle to the finish. Villanos are great wrestlers so they work a
good match and put HV over clean, just like HV would do for them if asked.
They should try this on Nitro. It would make it easier and more enjoyable
to watch.
What Didn't Work
What's going on here?!?!? My TV is picking up a crappy match from WWF All-American
Wrestling from 1987. Good God! What happened to those striped pants Virgil
usually wears? Where's Ted Dibiase? Where's that other Midnight Rocker
creep? God! Could they possibly steal any other ideas for their names?
Hmm...since I'm obviously time-warping, maybe the Midnight Express or the
Rock and Roll Express will be over on NWA Worldwide on channel six because
this WWF Rock-n-wrasslin' crap sucks. And what the hell is this Rocker
guy wearing? Where's my Husker Du album? Does this mean I get to sleep
with Jennifer from California again?!? WOO-HOO! Then my mind split open...
HEY NOW! Maybe this match rocks!
John Nord once had one of the best brawls in the history of Chicago when
he and Bruiser Brodie tore up an entire auditorium in an attempt to kill
each other during a Windy City Wrestling card. The pinnacle of that match
was the hideously HARDCORE BEFORE HARDCORE WAS ANYHTING vision of John
Nord licking the blood off of Bruiser Brodie's forehead, as I realized
that at that moment as I watched that tape that neither of these guys gave
a shit about ANYTHING once the bell rings. Everyone dies and everything
gets broke and there's nothing anybody can do to stop them- promoters cry,
the police stay out of the way, parents cover their children's eyes- this
was the world of Bruiser Brodie- and John Nord was part of this world one
glorious night. Meanwhile over in the Worldwide Universe, Nord tries to
make it interesting against the load of shit that is Goldberg, but it's
Goldberg. Boy, does he suck. Nord should have busted him open hardway with
a table and licked the blood off of his forehead. That would have worked.
This didn't.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
DEAN!