The WCW Worldwide Workrate Report
A weekly look at what did and didn't work
on WCW Worldwide by Dean Rasmussen
The Weekend of June 26th to 28th, 1998
HEYEYYYYY!! Fat Tony Gancarski is roaming the
Great Northeast for a couple of weeks, busy putting the GANK in Gancarski,
baby! (WHAT?) I'm filling in! Settle for THIS, Motherfucker!
What Worked
Y'know. WCW should just make Worldwide into WCW Saturday Night because
this episode stomped into the ground the sack of total shit that they served
up on the SuperStaion last night. The best match was- Jiminy I got THREE
to choose from! I don't even get that luxury in the Nitro Report on a really
good Monday. Hmmm... I'll go with NORMAN SMILEY vs BARRY HOUSTON. SOMEONE
in the BIG TWO needs to PUSH barry Houston. He is a better wrestler and
KICKS HARDER than those choades Saturn, Glacier, Jerry Flynn and Ernest
Miller; He can high-fly, he is willing to take MONSTROUS bumps and has
had REALLY memorable matches holding his end up with FIT MOTHERFRICKING
FINLAY AND JUSHIN MOTHERFARKING THUNDER MOTHERFRIGGING LIGER. He TRIED
to hang move for move with Liger and tried to match stiffness with Finlay
and if you have the balls and desire to do that, you deserve lots of squash
wins over Bryan Adams, Barry Darsow and Hacksaw Duggan. This match here
was cool because he plays to Smiley's UWFi experience (without the amazing
amounts of gas for our man Norman). Houston works on his leg but strays
to going for the knockout. Smiley gives him a straight kick to thigh, paralyzing
it enough to roll in to the kneebar. Slight props to Schiavonne for getting
a lot of the call right.
Booker T and Ultimo Dragon was really great because Booker T is a real
good worker and Ultimo Dragon is the best wrestler in WCW. The size difference
was pretty striking, but they wrestled it smart- with Booker T selling
all the moves that shows off UD's impossible quickness, and UD selling
Booker T's more skull-crushing powermoves to show that he isn't glossing
over the size advantage. This was the main event so there was enough time
for each to go on offense a few times with Booker T getting out of the
Dragon Sleeper once and UD kicking up after an axe-kick. UD hits a SWANK
Quebrada and Booker T hits his big ole Missile Dropkick. I love the fact
that Booker T has a legit NJ Junior finisher. Ultimo Dragon- NONE MORE
SMOOTH.
Psicosis vs Prince Iuakea was really good for the most part. They blew
some stuff and Prince needs to work on his striking not looking so pansy-assed
like Glacier or Saturn. Psicosis throws in a top rope Hurricanrana and
Prince beats him with a Northern Lights Suplex into a Bridge. I should
be cheesed off about the vastly more talented Psicosis putting over the
journeyman Iuakea, but Prince was cool to Hangman Tim while the Prince
was hanging out in the hall eating pizza at the Houseshow in Charlottesville
and expressed to Tim his desire go back to New Japan again, so how can
I hate him. That's Worldwide, Jake.
Silver King beat the crap out of Lorenzo, but he sold a whole bunch because
he's Silver King- the best wrestler in WCW- and he wanted to make Lorenzo
not look like the clueless rookie dipcrap that he is right now. He doesn't
beat the holy living shit out of him like Finlay did on one of the all-time
greatest Finlay matches ever, but he does smack him around and tries two
moonsaults as SK goes all Luchadelic as he only he can do. Silver King
with the Standing Somersault Guillotine. I'm wondering if WCW is gonna
ship Silver King over to New Japan for the IWGP Tag Title Inaugural Tournament
since his WILDLY RESURGENT brother Dr Wagner is getting the Fat Ass Push
over there. That would be cool way to bring in Wagner and get Silver King
into the mix over here because Liger is a booker with his head squarely
not up his ass like everyone in WCW and Liger would put the belts on them
for kicks. And they could lose the titles to Ohtani and Kanemoto on Nitro
or something. Dreaaam...dream-dream-dream....
What Didn't Work
Ernest Miller vs Frankie Lancaster! Oh boy. Lancaster is so very not good.
Miller is so very not good. This was so very not good. Not Good. No. Fast
Forward say, "MUY TAI MY ASS!"
Dammit! I wanted something to REALLY suck so I could steal the Tom Servo
joke from MST3K yesterday- "If I run out of vomit can I have some of yours."
On a brighter note, I'll probably get to wear that joke out after Nitro
and Monday is just a day away.
There you have it.
DEAN!