NOTE: I will undoubtedly miss the next four or so weeks as I will be at a writers' conference in upstate New York. For you aspiring novelists out there, writers' conferences are great ways to get work done, to seduce the ladeez, and to make professional connections. BOOYAA! Dean Rasmussen will stand in my stead.
Workrate Warrior of the Week: ~THUNDERFOOT #2! During the Crockett glory days, there was a team called the Thunderfoots who got pushed as a Low Pressure System sat over Charlotte for a week or so. The weather changed, as is its wont, and the push ended. T#1 disappeared soon thereafter, leaving Thunderfoot #2 with certain enviable Mulkey duties, such as putting over Robert Gibson in forty seconds and pretending Jimmy Valiant had offense. Pukka! Last I heard of this warrior, he had a tight feud with George South in some of the more sordid North Carolina indies. I seriously doubt it was Omega, Mister Rasmussen... BOING!
What Worked
~JERICHO! interview. If one accepts the theory that Jericho is the next
Shawn Michaels, then this interviw provides ample support. Jericho is funny,
intelligent, and altogether on point. With no disrespect intended to Dean
Malenko, who is probably my favorite mat wrestler, Jericho is beyond that
angle.
~KIDMAN! versus Bart Sawyer. Ah, yes. The hits keep coming, as Billy works
with an unheralded enhancement man from the days when Van Hammer worked
the semi-main event. But this wasn't bad, especially since Master Billy
has learned from, and even arguably surpassed, that Guerrera boy in terms
of stringing together relevant spots. What this here boy needs now is an
extended feud with Malenko, or someone else that can tighten up the mat
stuff.
Barry Horowitz vs Bobby Eaton. Jobbers of yesterday and today mix it up
in this one, as Beautiful Bobby -- the only security guard with a no-compete
clause -- mixes it up with the man he stole his recent losing streak gimmick
from. Oh, wait. It's not Bobby's gimmick, explicitly anyway. Barry draws
the "_____ sucks" chant, a novelty amongst the funereal Universal Studios
crowd. Bobby goes over with a VERY Akira Taue kneedrop from the top rope,
and hugs referee Rocky King afterwards. (Ironic and all, esp. in light
of all the genuinely great Midnight Express squashes of Techwood Drive
lore). And Barry carried another faded champ to positive stars, yes he
did.
What Didn't Work
Goldberg interview: And I quote the phuture of professional wrestling;
"I'm here to bring it to a new era, okay? What's done is done." Golly,
Dusty, maybe you and Arn can raid Darsow's locker for his old Krusher Khrushchev
tights, so Goldberg can work the growling Russian gimmick. Because, lemme
tell ya, Goldberg is NOT going to be able to pull this hesitant valley-speak
off on Nitro. You canned ~REGAL! for this?!? Goldberg's mincing, halfhearted
interview presence is like nothing so much as that of the bullied camp
counselor, psychically cracked by the malevolent eight year olds in his
charge...
Glacier vs Todd Griffith: Just your standard Johnny Weaver versus Gene
Ligon squash here as Glacier, like Matt Damon in 'The Rainmaker', is a
protagonist who inspires neither believability or interest.
Evan Swinger Versus Johnny Courageous: Imagine if MTV had the two guys
in Savage Garden meet up in a Deathmatch (tm) to determine who gets the
band name after an OMD style breakup. Generic muscles, generic moves, whatever.
Barbarian vs Davey Boy: I can't imagine these two actually enjoy wrestling.
I guess it pays the bills, though. And that's something.
Anthony Gancarski