Regular readers of this report might want to keep an eye out for Cru Biz, the
Cru's upcoming video review, with contributions from all the Cru members and
associates. As far as WCWSN goes, the only question is which match will anchor
the first sub 1.0 quarter hour in the history of this once proud program? There
was ONE good wrestling match tonight. Nothing over **1/2. Erase and rewind, to
quote the Cardigans.

What Worked:

God love Hudson and Tenay. They know that we -- the 'smart' WCWSN viewer --
know that they know better than to show any faith in the crap GAB angles. Yet
they push them obligatorily before going to what makes this show matter.
Wrestling.

Wrestling like Juventud Guerrera, my choice for WCWSN MVP this calendar year,
with a nine minute TLD against Psicosis. Psic looked a bit sloppy here; his
disjointed offense lowlighted by a blown top-rope hurracarana. But Juvi proves
why he has ruled the lucha roost in Juvi's absence, slipping down anyway --
selling the impact of Psic's action without selling the move -- and
incorporating the blown spot into the match's psychology. The implementation of
the draw here was interesting as well; Juvi was about to go into his finishing
sequence, and Psic ducked out of the ring with seven seconds left in the match
and waited for the bell. Not an entirely convincing match, but I won't bitch
about ten minutes of lucha. The pacing was nice and Guerrera is always amazing
to watch; he's such an intelligent wrestler, and is just so old-school. **1/2,
for those playing at home.

There is something appealingly surreal about seeing the WCWSN dancers raving
till dawn while the Humvee crashes into the limo over and over again on the big
screen behind them. I dare WCW to show the dancers boogieing to that 'hype'
theme music as shots of African famine or ethnic genocide fill the screen. That
would be much edgier than having DJ Ran play vinyl from 19 Naughty 3, in my
opinion. Perhaps David Lynch, Mark Leyner, and I should start booking. This WCW
penchant for tastelessness would be echoed later on when they showed Nash
fucking up his powerbomb of Paul Wight, hurting his neck and stuff in an advert
for the Nash video.

Wow. The return of Lodi (with signs), who has been forsaken by even that
eternal optimist and soon to be twotimetwotimetwotime father, Deano Rassmussen.
And he's in with the Gambler (with a good poker hand). Is the Gambler sucking
off Nash or Hogan to get TV exposure? Just a thought. And a vile one, much like
this match in concept. Lodi hits a kneelift that makes Mr Wrestling 2 laugh in
disgust. But the match picks up soon thereafter.The Gambler wrenches a Lodi arm
around the top rope, setting up a vicious looking armbar that he almost parlays
into a step-over armlock. The Gambler working surprisingly stiff, rocking Lodi
with knees and more armcentric offense. The Gambler gets four punches up top
until Lodi double-leg takedowns the Gambler off his second rope perch and
scores a cover of the Gambler. Tenay exclaims, 'Lodi would have never beaten
the Gambler if he hadn't had his feet on the ropes.' This was classically
WCWSN, with no regard to advancing the company in any way. Just two people in
their underwear rasslin, however marginally, with all the import of spam
e-mail.

What Didn't Work

Well, Van Hammer for starters. I guess he's getting Booker's Revenge for
getting pasted by Regal a couple of years back, as he gets over the infinitely
more talented and accomplished Chris Adams. Adams with a top rope clothesline,
but Hammer ducks so we repeat the spot (with Adams hitting). Adams hits the
superkick, covering Hammer who puts his foot on the ropes before the one count.
Before the fucking one count. Then I look down to grab my Mountain Dew, look
back up, and find Hammer putting the Cobra Slam on the hapless Brit. Hammer
must think he's Goldberg, invalidating a veteran's two biggest moves. What a
jackass. Hammer's a natural for a Tank Abbott feud, in my opinion.

Well, if it's NWO Black and White, it feels gravity's inexorable pull. If it's
Scott Norton, it makes me think of Yuji Nagata and how he was misused. If it's
Adrian Byrd Versus Norton, then its another pointless Norton squash. Byrd is
kinda the po' man's Bobby Walker. Norton is probably better off in a tag team
(see Vicious and Delicious), as singles matches expose his limits. Norton
no-sells a DDT from Byrd, as we get our first taste of summer squash.

Interview with Los Del Rio. Rey wears FUBU. Konnan says It's All Good a lot.

Ernest Miller. He's sure drawing heat with those interviews. Ernest quotes EPMD
('the big payback'). Dave Burkhead is back after a long WCWSN absence, which
should make Amdur a happy man. Miller with a Boogie Woogie karate chop. This
just kind of goes on and on for a while. M2 offers no relief, offering a Tom
Petty video. Miller scores a pin and Scott Norton comes back out, which is all
very exciting. I miss Ultimo Dragon. Meanwhile, some odd video by Esthero is on
Much Music. Female singer, kinda cute in that art school way. The singer looks
like the type with adorably paint-stained fingers, though she's always, always
out of reach (though the smell of her cloves linger delightfully in your
unconscious for days after you run into her). The music is more like a ripoff
of something off Massive Attack's Blue Lines though. Still it's more diverting
than the Kevin Nash recap on WCWSN.

It's safe to say that Scotty Riggs' Narcissist 2K gimmick is not working.
Prospects for a match between him and the most inconsistent of the croosers,
Lash LeRoux, are not encouraging what with Riggs being very intent upon getting
his gimmick over. LeRoux blows a flying headscissors takedown and then, seconds
later, blows an armdrag takedown. Riggs hits LeRoux with the mirror. M2
shortarms me with Lenny Kravitz, so I get to watch more of this boring-ass
match. Riggs beats Lash down and uses Excalibur's Arrogant Cover. This match is
just a mess; pedestrian moves and shite pacing. Lash gets his flying
headscissors right the second time at least, continuing this week's tradition
of hacks repeating blown spots.

The hits keep on coming. Has-been Hennig and Never-was Duncum dragging down the
midcard and the tag scene against Darsow and Horowitz, who I like as a team in
an appealing perverse way. This match started off with a lot of torpid AWA
flavored mat stuff between Hennig and Duncum and didn't really look back. The
best stuff here was the typically crisp offense from Horowitz, but it wasn't
enough to redeem the sluggish Darsow and Duncum, especially on this dismal show
from this degraded promotion.

Hoooooooooooooooo! Hacksaw Duggan against that filthy Msscin Villano guy. USA!
USA! Duggan blows a shooting star press and a tope con hilo here, which bugged
me a little and consigned this report to the bottom of da collom.

Rey and Konnan wrestled Horace and Brian Adams. I'm so beyond caring about any
of these wrestlers. Teaming with Konnan and feuding with unhip white guys is
such an egregious waste of Rey's talent. Giant Killer angles haven't been done
well since Waltman beat Hall on RAW 5 years ago. Establishing Rey as a credible
midcard heavyweight proves that the crooser belt is essentially worthless and
WCW is committed to obliterating any sense of tradition or esteem that title
has gained over the last few years. Does this company seriously think that Rap
V Country is going to get anyone's attention? The buyrates and the ratings were
both better when WCW showed commitment to its cruiser division, to the
Horsemen, and to quality wrestling in general. The one highlight of the match,
by the way, was Horace hitting Konnan in the crotch with a tennis racket,
rendering K-Dogg unable to give birth.

Tony Gancarski : Workrate Cru
The Cru needs to look its best at all times.