For the last coupla months now I've been reading little dribbles of protest
about people who look at workrate in matches. Bad workraters! Why don't they
just mark out? Marking out is kewl, they say. You watched wrestling in 1984,
some allege; ergo, it follows that Hulk Hogan made you a fan of this great
sport. Well, since it's close to Valentine's Day, let me dedicate this report
to you newbie fans. To you SE marks, to you people that recognized Lash
LaRoux's talent only after he started posting on the NGs. You don't know what
it IS to mark out, most of you, as you somehow believe wrestling can be a
credible approximation of sport without retaining at least the potential for
time limit draws and people going over clean. Those of y'all who don't dig
workrate reports, who want to bitch and to snipe, can either not read them or
learn from them. As it is though, y'all come off like Lorenzo trying to tell
Fit Finlay how to work a stiff match.

What Worked

Bobby Blaze Flairflopped and sold for Jerry Flynn's credible offense enough
that this match made the positive side of the ledger. This was looking at about
1.8736 stars for a while, until Bobby Blaze bent down to tie his shoes by way
of setting up Flynn for a (failed) backdrop. Blaze has the most pedestrian
moveset imaginable, but he didn't go over so it didn't matter much. Flynn,
Finlay, and Taylor should be world six-man champs, feuding with Benoit,
Malenko, and Flair. This really had 1.467834 stars in it! Worthy opener, even
as my apartment was being kept warm by all the canned heat for Flynn at the
end.

All twenty seconds of Vince against good ol' JS, Johnny Swinger, was steeped in
psychology. You can't really fault the ring work here, but Vince is working on
a string of half-minute WCWSN squashes, and I have to wonder why. Due to the
length, I cede this contest .83125 stars, though you can round down to .8.

Malenko/Benoit interview!!! "Shooter" Gene Okerlund admits that Hogan and
Bischoff tried to bury Benoit! Benoit on the four fingers; "This is the symbol
of excellence. This is what champions are made of." Malenko laments "Meng
turning his back on 'Barb'," saying "that is not trust! That is not a tag team
that is going to go to the finals for the WCW championship belts." Seriously,
Malenko gave a pretty intense interview in the ersatz WCW locker room.

Dave Burkehead is on MY TV screen! He's a fat bald guy that Chavo squashed!
Chavo was set up as the rudo here by the replay of the turn on Kidman, but
inexplicably worked face here, albeit as a stiff face. The Burk's offense is
better than Blaze's. I'm not into star ratings, but I'd guess 1.8394 stars.
Burk's kinda got that Al Greene thing going. He even threw a stiff elbow. Maybe
he needs to say "ARE YOU REDDY 2 BURK IT?" when he comes to the ring.

Ernest Miller and Booker T exceeded expectations, getting Booker over in a much
different way than Norton's squash of Miller. This wasn't just Miller getting
the crap kicked out of him, but a demonstration of the timeless wrestling adage
"a wrestler can beat anyone from any other discipline". Although this match
showed the limits of Booker's power and kicks repertoire, and showed that
Miller isn't much when it comes to selling, the DQ finish made perfect sense if
it set up something down the road, as the kids say. 1.73465, after the .15
deduction for the screwjob.

Chris Benoit (Scott Hudson's pick for Best Wrestler in the World today) and
Horace have a good match that didn't seem as anomalous as their Nitro match.
Horace needs to go stiffer on the power stuff, but he takes a bump and sells
like a man not a fish. The Pier Six Brawl ending worked here, because the
show's pimping the tag tourney, and pimping a match between Benoit and Malenko
and NWO Big & Stiff arguably ain't easy. 2.3567424 stars, all in all.

Rey and Juvi had a match that was so not the lucha spotfest that all the lucha
haters bitch about. This had echoes of Steamboat, Latino Jesus, and Flair, and
very easily coulda gone sixty minutes. Great psychology here, with both of them
working over knees and stuff. The set-up to the Juvi Driver was the most
intricate offensive sequence I've seen stateside in months, featuring Juvi
back-somersaulting out of a Rey powerbomb, Rey evading a Juvi Driver attempt,
Juvi catching Rey as he attempted a springboard moonsault, and Juvi
backflipping out of a Rey waistlock to finally hit the Juvi Driver. Those of
you who push Lash and Blitzcreig as being on this level are simply uneducated,
as that sequence built on the entire 8000 match history between these two, and
would've not happened in the hands of any other two wrestlers in the world.
Easily 3.64 stars, though Rey going over Juvi wasn't the outcome I woulda
chosen.

Like I'm going to bitch about Malenko/Benoit against anyone. Vincent hangs with
Malenko in an 80s pro-style mat sequence, and sells for Dean's offense. I was
very surpised that Benoit could snap suplex Adams. Malenko sells like Ric Flair
playing FiP against Greg Valentine and Roddy Pipper in Charleston, SC in 1982,
and it occurs to me that Adams and Vince are even better than Disorderly
Conduct. The Horsemen use a double dropkick after the hot tag, which is just so
appropriate, given that they wrestled this match like the Fantastics 2K or
something (minus the deep homoerotic overtones). Mongo made the save during
both of the Horsemen screwjobs; hey, isn't he like blind or something? The end
of this, with the Horsemen standing in the ring looking like badasses after
having had cleared said ring, was like the end of a 1986 Worldwide where Dusty,
Magnum, and Johnny Weaver stood tall after repelling the Horsemen of yore
(except that Dean, Chris, and Mongo neglected to, you know, work the crowd. Oh
well).

What Didn't Work

Scotty Riggs hung around with Kaz Hayashi, worked as a cocky heel succesfully
against the spunky little face, got some crowd heat throughout By Taking Kaz
Too Lightly, and did a stiff Hot Shot thingy fairly early in the match. Kaz hit
a top rope corkscrew splash and got a two count on Riggs, and I was digging
this. Then, thirty seconds later, Riggs hit Kaz with a Flying Burrito. . . and
won. What an anticlimax. And you people want the rest of KDX to come in. Why?
So they can put Al Greene over Dick Togo? The work here was pretty nice, but
the finish killed the match for me. Not just Riggs going over, but the lameness
of Scott Stud's finisher and how it does its little part to squash Jobbing K
yet again.

Hey! Kidman wrestled LODI! Not Kaz, Lodi! Fuck off! The work here was all
right, as Lodi debuts the rolling vertical suplexes and Kidman was Kidman, but
Kaz needed this match much more than Lodi, who isn't nearly the worker Kaz is.
But what really killed this match is that anytime the actual wrestling started
to flow, Lodi went for a sign or for a roll of coins to load his glove with.
Lodi wrestled with a shirt on, by the way. I hope he's not getting a tummy! I
hear the WWF offers liposuction!

Whee. Konnan talks over Rey in a locker room interview.-- AG