WCW Saturday Night - 02/26/2000
What Worked
-- Steve Armstrong and Disco Inferno were as basic as 13-channel cable, and so
was the storyline of this match. For some reason, Armstrong's the heel here and
gets an extended period on offense. Nothing I'm saving for posterity, but this
was your basic "good" ** Disco match, straight outta Techwood Drive with a
skosh of the Showboat Sports Casino Arena thrown in.
-- Mad props to Kevin Nash for bumping like a phreak for Larry Zbyszko's
backhand, an obvious SHOOT~! allusion to the proposed scuttling of WCWSN's
current format to turn it into a variety hour featuring wrestling's unfunniest
ersatz giant. Still, props where due; when motivated, there's no doubt that
Nash works extraordinarily well for a big man and has the deepest respect for
late Virginia Woolf novels, including her most revolutionary work... Er,
whoops. That was a cardboard cutout of the Commish. What I said about Ginny W
still stands, however.
-- Dream Match on WCWSN! Fidel Sierra VS Barry Horowitz! Two vets giving it
their all! You can tell they aren't ever going to be pushed, because they
wrestle like they mean it, and like moves lead into other moves and so on.
Great transitions in this match, excellent tendency by Horowitz to take every
opportunity to go for the pin. Back and forth action here. A rare match in 2000
that doesn't seem like its goal is to expose the business. Sierra goes over
with a Fameasser -- give him the TV belt! Sierra V Regal next week = Ratings!
I'm marking out like Sean Shannon at the Fritos warehouse!
-- Allan Funk and Rick Cornell take on Siaki and Palumbo, and it's all very
athletic and basic. A lot of crisp moves here from all four, and once they
learn to work the crowd they might have something real here. Funk especially
showed flashes here of being something like a Dangerous Alliance era Steve
Austin, with a preternatural sense that moves should mean something and that
wrestlers should look like they're, y'know, fighting. Palumbo seems a bit
clueless in terms of how to work a match, but even he showed flashes of real
athleticism. Siaki of course will be the star of this group; presence and an
ability to bump emotively will at least put him on Nitro. I'd take all of these
except for the Renegadesque Palumbo and put them over Prince IkoIko clean in
twelve seconds immediately for the croozer strap.
-- Jeremy Lopez and Shark Boy show enough chain wrestling early on to get up
here despite the addled lucha comedy bullshit that we saw in lieu of
transitions. Still, not really a complete match and nothing I'd kill to see
again. Especially when the Undertaker does better planchas than SB. Props to
Jeremy for a smooth running Lygerbomb late in the match.
-- Billy Kidman takes some time out from his busy flea market tour to give Elix
Skipper the rub here on WCWSN. If WCW were smart, they'd move Elix up to Nitro
and team him with Booker, giving them the New Harlem Heat label and letting
them carry the tag division into the realm of *** matches. Props to Kidman for
giving Elix a lot of offense here, and letting Skipper show that he can go with
a more seasoned worker.
What Didn't Work
-- I love Steven Regal, even in his more problematic recent guises. His match
with Goldberg was my favorite Goldberg match of all time, as Regal made Bill
look like the limited worker he certainly was at that point. Props to Regal for
bumping for Hacksaw's alleged offense, but this match basically sucked as you
would expect as Duggan usually fails to bump, sell, or move convincingly.
Regal jobbing to the Old Glory on his way out actually made me feel a bit ill.
-- Seven Rhodes and Bobby Eaton, in a desperate attempt to mask their eroded
skills, take their tepid brawl outside the ring to no effect. Passionless
wrestling, as both men show their affinities for picking up a paycheck for
subpar work.
-- Roid Company's electrifying entrance proves that High Voltage was no fluke,
but instead a winning formula that can be used time and time again. And of
course, if you need one of two anonymous talentless lunks carried, you'd pick
Dale Torborg (playing the part of the Demon) to carry one or both to a MOTYC.
Kiss sucks worse than the Torch WCWSN recapper, and to see WCW willfully
pandering to superannuated Satanic corporate rock hobags fails to surprise me.
Given that the Demon is a non-speaking role, why not paint up a luchadore who
can actually work and breathe some life into this gimmick? I've had dry heaves
with more workrate than this diaperload of a match, and would rather snog
Sebastian Cabot's BrianKeithravaged corpse before letting Dale Torborg darken
my television again.
-- Villano IV gets fed to Tank 'Hands of Stone' Abbott. We know of course, that
if Tank can go over an international worker, then he should have no problem
with grizzled veteran and promotional savior Sid Eudy.
-- Villano V gets fed to Meng. Er, the Barbarian. We know of course that the
Villanos are of no use to a tag division loaded with indie jetsam, so it's far
better to squash them here. V gets offense, which Barbarian doesn't really
sell, so it's meaningless as far as it goes. Barbarian tries some offense
invented after 1955, but of course blows it like Wrestleline's WCWSN recapper's
chippie does to get 'cab fare'.
-- Burkhead and Knobbs get the rub from my FFWD. Thank you, come again.
-- PG13 and the Paisans bring the magic and the realism of 1995 WWF Superstars
episodes to the next millenium. If someone cares about either of these teams,
please email me.