WCW Saturday Night - 05/01/1999

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What Worked

Juventud, in what could be his US farewell for a while, does the cocky face
thing against Damien. A lot of stalling and crowd work early on. Damien gets to
show and prove, and he doesn't suck. Okay Giant Swing leads into a crotchbound
headbutt from Damien, which leads into a Juvi chant. Damien crotches Juvi on
the top rope, setting up a swank airplane spin into a shoulderbreaker that Mike
Enos should cop. Juvi goes over, and this match was a bit slow, and Damien's
power less than convinces, but what the heck.

I damned sure hope the honeymoon for Disorderly Conduct is over. That said,
Benoit and Malenko is the best US tag team this decade, and you know this match
gets props from this corner. Benoit makes the intro armdrag COUNT, using it as
an opening to talk some smack to the ref and the jobber. Some of the Benoit
special in the corner before DC gets control and hits a conceptual dbl team
powerbomb. DC came to play here. Benoit plays FIP until Malenko dropkicks
Mike's knee. Then Dean tags in and then the Horsemen turn Mike's knee into
potted meat with stiff looking dropkicks and kicks and kneebreakers. By the
time Dean goes into a stepover toehold, you think the guy from DC will tap out.
Dean throws punches during the toehold. Benoit comes in. Dragon Screw.
Kneebreaker. Mean Mike sells. Horsemen doubleteam. Tough Tom a house of fire,
but the Horsemen knock one of DC out of the ring, and Benoit gets the CCF for
the victory. The CCF lingers as Malenko talks some gourmet smack on the prone
DC member, and this was a classic WCWSN squash. Eight minutes of brutality,
psychologically sound and impeccable in terms of exposition.

Kaz Hayashi: main eventer. Thuggish Ruggish Rey: don't lay down for nobody,
BRAH. This was all good, as Kaz is right there waiting to be Rey's foil. At
times the action looked a bit tentative, as they didn't seem to have the
transitions as precise as Rey/Juvi matches. Kaz gets all the cool move awards
from me: Kaz elbow, nifty tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Dragon Sleeper variant that
Hudson called a lateral butterfly, arrogant cover. Kaz gets most of the offense
here, and it's all pretty world class and flawlessly executed. Props to Oscar
187 Thuglife for elevating Kaz in this one, and letting Hayashi prove that he's
still worthy of all the hype.

What Didn't Work

Between Erik Watts' comeback and Brian Knobs' remodeling as a truly
one-dimensional hardcore wrestler, it looks as if Kevin Nash learned talent
acquisition from Ole Anderson. Adrian Byrd's the word, for maintaining a
modicum of professionalism and not moving when Blubber Knobs splashed on him
from the top turnbuckle with a garbage can underneath his belly-welly. This
match was as you'd expect; hardcore used as an excuse for a total lack of
enthusiasm for technique, bumping, or even an interesting story from Brian
Knobbs, who hopefully will lose a limb for trying to get this maggot-ridden
piece of adipose over as a match.

Hey! Buff Bagwell's entrance is liquid syphilis on ice. Too bad he needs to be
a heel to have a likable character, as he mugs like he's Johnny B. Badd with
the rocket blaster or whatever that thing was that shot confetti into those
huge early 90s WCW crowds. Horowitz gets a little cheap heel WWF 80s offense
in, before Buff gets some bullshit armdrags in and poses. None of the cool
grappling that Barry's good at, because Buff can't hang on the mat with him
(though Barry does get his Northern Lights Suplex and some Euro uppercuts in).
Buff gets control, and hits a Lugeresque clothesline before finishing with the
Blockbuster; the clothesline alone, lethargic and suffused with disdain for the
craft of wrestling, strips Buff of the sympathy What Worked and moves him down
here with the other alumni from back in the day when evil midgets masterminded
headlining storylines. Not to be too pessimistic, but this is what Buff's
matches are going to be from now on: barely watchable timefiller while he
fulfills his beefcake duties for the slatterns and hizzos in the audience. Memo
to the Handsome Stranger: take your needle to Connecticut and feud with Road
Dogg, because all you're good for now are little five minute nothing matches.
Buff is NOT a worldclass heavyweight, and was only on the cusp before the
injury. He doesn't have the psychology to make up for his shriveled moveset,
and his surgically enhanced calves are small consolation indeed.