WWE RAW Workrate Report
WHAT WORKED:
TKG: Ric Flair talking about breaking hymens is always going to make the what worked column. But its 2004, by the time a girl gets pubes she's been spread and stuffed at least five times. Where you gonna find a virgin with a thick enough bush to satisfy the Nature Boy?
TKG: I was expecting to absolutely hate Christian vs. HBK and didn't. This was alot better than I was expecting as well you often forget just how good Christian is. Christian also did a bunch of stuff never seen him do before: the XPac bump, Murakami stomp, the JAPW student head drop on knee spot, etc.. Odd that they went to commercial during the big bump section and came back during the chin lock. But hey they showed the transition...and gotta give them credit for that.The WWE is all about protecting finishers in non title feuds, cause if a WWE wrestler can't win with his finisher... well they have nothing else in their arsenal to go to...other than belt shot. Michaels kicking out of the Tomakazi and then knocking Christian out with the superkick really buries Christian. Dammit how insecure is Michaels, he already is in the HOF no need to try to bury Tommy Rogers.
TKG: Jim Ross explaining that kicking with the side of the boot is illegal. Sweet WWE is brining back the no illegal karate rule.
TKG: Well so I saw American Dragon vs. Samoa Joe on Saturday and it kind of hurt my ability to really get into Benoit vs. Batista but this was really good. Batista really needs to go to Smackdown and get away from Evolution as he's starting to pick up some of the other Evolution guys bad shit. In this match he ate a dragon screw the same shitty way that Hemsley does, and ate the rolling suplexes in the same shitty squat and slap knees way that Orton does. I hope he isn't killing homeless guys too.
WHAT DIDN'T WORK:
TKG: So the latest theories are that when you have a still born baby the healthy thing to do is take a picture with it, make sure your other kids spend a night in bed with the dead baby and the mother. Supposedly if you don't your haunted by images of monster babies much worse than the actual reality. So I thought the Lita "never got to see what my child looked like" was quite poignant. Still disappointed that they aren't going with the Young Wolf and Cub thing with Kane wrestling while a stillborn fetus hangs off a sling across his back. Is Schnitsky must have the smoothest hands at Shane's monthly Connecticut circle jerk retreats. I don't remember Kane selling that much for anyone but Shane O Mac.
PAS: I got lucha to watch, and Tom pretty much covered it all, but I am amused that they have already started to humiliate Christy to get her to quit. This week it is making out with a retard. I imagine dog food, head shaving, being peed on and Stephanie with a strap on is still to come. They ain't paying out all 250.
TKG: Ross remarks that "Helms and Rosey are on the "same page" this week. HUH? They teased a Helms heel turn not tag team dissension. Oh wait now they're teasing dissension. Ross with premonitions.
TKG: Damn that woman's match went long. That main event sure was meaningless. Clear that I want to vote for submissions as the stip for Flair as I really liked his last submissions match with Funk. Want the butler stip for Bischoff cause that will set up lots of INSIDER lawn mowing jokes. Want Edge for Helmsley opponent, cause I don't want to have to see Benoit stuck working that turd again. But really having hard time figuring out who the best Jericho opponent would be as they have all the guys I want to see wrestle out there...Regal, Palumbo, Rodney Mack, Stevie Richard, and Val Venis. I guess I'm going to have to go with Venis as he's the guy who really deserves it the most. Fucking Coach will probably get the vote and spend the entire match holding Jericho in PWF-Gumi style leg locks.
TKG: Randy Orton isn't Austin. This really felt like when Russo came to WCW and tried to regimmick Booker T as the Rock. Or when Russo came to TNA and booked Jarrett as Austin. The NY indy guys take good bumps but aren't as impressive as head of security Don Harris.