WWE RAW WORKRATE REPORT 6/28/04
WHAT WORKED:
TKG: Damn Jericho is stoked to be working a tatted roided guy who isn't Tomko. I haven't seen him look this good in ages. Batista continues to deliver big, and Orton just bumps like a freak. Edge works hot tag as opposed to FIP, and well it works well for him. I rarely say good things about Edge but damn is he the worlds better than Lance Storm in Thrillseekers 2K4. The double drop kick spot was off but really everything else in this match worked like a mutha. Richmond crowd was also superhot for it and really cool as they started to chant Y2J, Y2J to the beat of the coliseum fire alarm. I'm not suggesting that Timbaland sample that beat or anything but neat hearing them chant to that beat instead of the played out clap clap clap one.
PAS: I can just hear mumble mouth Missy Elliot fucking up a perfectly good fire alarm Timbaland beat. I can't stand Missy Elliot, she spends a whole song showing us how exotic and interesting she is. There isn't a song she has done that wouldn't be better with Tweet, Bubba Sparks or Magoo. They actually had Edge work FIP after Jericho did, as they had plenty of time. That clothesline on Orton fucking ruled. The killer clothesline looks really great, but it is dumb to have Batista using the world champions finsher. It was really dumb to have RVD do the frog splash while Eddie was champ, but at least Eddie has other moves, Bradshaw is nothing but a clothesline and a goosestep.
TKG: When is Tweet gonna release another albulm. If it wasn't for Nelly, Oops (Oh My) would have been the song of the summer. I dare you to listen to that with tight pants on. But even with Nelly, it still is probably the best R&B song about dykeing out. Well there was Esthelle Jackson "I do like to eat fish at night". Still and the whole Tweet album was great. I also really like the grind sound on Mr. Big spender. Also really liked the section where Batista just ground his foot in Edge's gut, also Batista's rib sell of the spear lionsault combo really made the finish work.
TKG: REGAL IS WRESTLING!!!!!!!! Yeah. So Regal gets to work a match against the least talented of the Blue Bloods. Regal just does everything so well. Helmsley tries to do his apeing Flair stuff, really nice Flair/Valentine flop , awful backdrop out of the corner...this wasn't as good as any of the Marquis of Queensbury Flair vs. Regal rounds...but just seeing Regal wrestle makes me happy. Tag him and Eugene up already. They're continuing with the Eugene is STRONG gimmick which is stu-PID and destroys his character, and the wrong guy with knucks finish really doesn't work. Eddy Guerrero is all about taking every false lucha finish and turning it into a meta-rassling thing. It just comes off cheap when the RAW crew tries to do it too. RAW apeing Smackdown finishes just makes RAW look like Rik Rachet.
PAS: The arm work at the beginning was really beautiful, as was the left/right forearm/uppercut combos. It really looked like Regal had all this nifty stuff he has been eager to bust out for a year.
TKG: Main event kind of felt too short largely cause we miss so much due to the commercial breaks. But damn this was good. If it wasn't for commercial breaks this would have been better than the tag, the Richmond crowd essentially died after tag match and were dead for most of this show but this match brought them back, who would've though that? Kane works his ass off here and after seeing endless Helmsley/Michaels/Benoit variations its nice to see Benoit get to work someone who knows how to sell.
WHAT FAILED:
TKG: That opening mic thing went 15 minutes and Eugene didn't get to talk. He and Regal actually have mic skills give them the mic. O mean Eugene is in the ring with him, Regal is in the ring with him. why is this being scripted like a one man play; Hunter is Eleanor Roosevelt. This was written as Helmsley giving a monologue "and then you would say, and if he was given the mic Regal would have just admitted irrefutably, and then Dorothy Height said to me"
TKG: Two weeks ago they booked Jim Ross as Richard Holbrooke, this week they book him as Sally Jesse Raphael. "The question on all of our minds Kane, is why the anger?" Damn that Jim Ross sure is multitalented. I hope they have the common decency to actually pay for Maury Povich to do the paternity testing instead of having Ross play the Povich role too. Also if they're trying to make Kane seem creepy, his "I'll never be able to have a normal life" lines just come off poor. Stop talking about being self aware about being abnormal. Its far creepier when a character isn't self aware. If Kane said "It was the best sex I ever had because she reminded me of my mother"., that would be poor writing but be genuinely fucked up. This I know I'm odd stuff just is poor writing.
TKG: Rhyno sure is a shitty Don Kernodle.
PAS: I think they should do a Smackdown trade and bring Spike Dudley over to RAW, his double stomp finish would make a really great way to perform the East Oakland Abortion on Lita. Then you could do a poor mans Awesome v. Spike with Kane trying to get revenge for his smushed spawn.
TKG: The problem with the Kane character is its really hard to sidedrain him. This pregnancy angle is really smart as it allows them to do that easily. Two month feud with Hardy. Two month feud with Danny Doring. Two month feud with Papi Chulo. Two month feud with Stylin Shane Eden. Than they either go with the stillborn birth where Kane wrestles for next year with a dead fetus in a sling around his back like a really creepy Lone Wolf and Cub. Or they can have Lita give birth to daughter leading to the paternity 5 way with Doring, Eden, Chulo, Kane and Hardy. Have Kane feud for two months with Jannetty and Sting over their insistence that Kane should baptize little Lyla . Then have Chocoball Mukai film himself fucking Lyla in her soft spot. That's twelve months you can sidedrain him before next title shot. It books itself.
PAS: RF wanted to make his return at the Philly ROH show according to Meltzer, I still think Mukai would be better off used as the worker of a Briscoe sister/Colby Corino managed tag team with Fun Athletic Guy. I think those two versus Second City Saints would be really good.
KTKG: The Feinstein/ Mukai managed heel stable would get so much heat. None of that smart mark cheering the heel shit. Although isn't the Briscoe sister with Special K? and not sure about turning Corino face which you'd need to do if you used Colby this way. What they need to do is bring in Juve and Zumbido. you have them join Special K and just fuck it up. I've seen lots of happy fun self-supporting drug scenes. It all goes ok untill Juventud and Zumbido enters the scene and then it all goes dark. Lit " We were all having fun and then I head Dana Damison screaming...and there was Juvi punching her. He said he lost his erection and figured if he punched her hard enough he thought he might get his blood flowing again. It just all got so dark, I still don't understand why Zumbido stabbed Elax... we were having a party everyone dancing, it just happened,...Becky just wasn't coping anymore , I knew I had to get out when she started cutting, I mean it looked like she had fishnets on her upper arm...the whole scene just fell apart and well Mukai seemed like a breath of fresh air after that. I just wanted to get out of the scene, had to get out of the scene. I'm sorry I brought Dana into that but it just seemed like a better place."