RAW Workrate Report 5/3/04
What Worked
TKG: Helmsley doesn't look to be off the gas so much as he looks like that guy on the lax team who did andro and then didn't lift. You see the secret is you still need to lift, otherwise you just get a gut and back tits.
PAS: Opening Six-Man was really fun. Greg Valentine doesn't throw elbows as good as he used too. But both Orton and Batista looked really good, and Tajiri was the star as he worked a really great face in peril which is a weird skill for a guy trained in Mexico and Japan. Shelton was really an afterthought in this match as both Tajiri and Edge got hot tag and face in peril sections and Shelton got bubkus. With his rematch with Helmsley next week, I imagine he will be pedigreed right back to Heat, I bet he can install some fight into Steven Richards.
TKG: Yeah damn Tajiri looked good in this. They supposedly want to build Edge vs. Nise Valentine. But every-time those two were in the ring together their exchanges looked like shit. Tajiri was the better face in peril and the better hot tag and I am looking forward to him vs. Batista. That said they really shouldn't work guy throws missed clothesline spots around Tajiri. He's short and there is no reason for him to duck. Helmsley threw a missed clothesline over Tajiri's head and it took me a minute to realize it was supposed to be a clothesline, I thought he was just putting his arm out to signal for a turn. Benjamin is completely buried in this too.
PAS: I really liked Rob Conway's offense in his Hurricane squash enough to put it on this side of the ledger. Vince must be a secret Homophobe though, ever since Thomas Simpson outed himself the OMEGA guys haven't gotten a win. Maybe Patterson got rejected in a a Southern Pines dance club or something.
TKG: Ok when Travis "Bane" Tomko first debuted in OVW, I kind of began to sympathize with Sean Shannon. I realize that the DVDVR had shat on some OVW guys but really naming a green worthless wrestler after me and two of the gimmick trolls who used to post on our board almost hurt (ironically, breaking DVDVR kayfabe here, I should point out that Travis and Bane posted from same IP). Travis/Bane no longer post on our board and all they could come up with is Tyson "Problem Solver" Tomko, c'mon Jersey Clawe Tomko would have been so easy.
PAS: I liked Christian's shirt and drawstring pants. He was sporting a nice Rippa at a ren fest look to him. He doesn't have the height to beat Rippa at jousting though.
TKG: I like ideological feuds to set up blood feuds. Gail Kim gets on the mic and talks about how Lita deserves it? So they're now working Victoria, feminist friend of Nacy Pelosi vs. Gail Kim who thinks girls should lay back and enjoy it.
PAS: When did Vince become a Democrat anyway? My favorite Meltzer goofball theory is when he claims that "some political theorists believe that the WWE attacking Gore and Lieberman was the turning point of the close election." Now McMahon can't show titties anymore and he has Bradshaw working as Tom DeLay and Gail Kim working as Wendy Gramm.
PAS: I haven't really cared for post-comeback Micheals (although I did really like his match with Paul Diamond in TWA), but this is really the first match I have seen him in where I couldn't complain about anything. He broke out a ton of offense he doesn't normally use, including an Orihara moonsault and underhook side suplex, and worked a bodypart instead of having to sell a bodypart. The match was booked to make Beniot look kind of weak though, as Micheals really dominated most of the match, with Beniot having to break out rollups and counters. Micheals bodyslams Beniot, looks to the top rope, hesitates, hits another bodyslam and then hits his top rope elbow. Beniot hits two German Suplexes, looks to the top rope, hesitates, hit another German Suplex and then misses his headbut. Micheals bodyslam is booked stronger then Beniot German Suplex. Plus the finish has Beniot unable to hit any of his submissions, Micheals hitting his finisher, and only HHH's finisher can finish Micheals. Despite the political layout, the match was a damn nice 30 minute main.
TKG: The layout was really odd as it really was all about making Shawn look strong so as not to hurt him when he lost...that kind of layout only works if Benoit guts it out to win. He didn't get to do that. Phil does a nice job covering most of the layout problems. He doesn't cover the early Shawn dominating on mat...Benoit can't escape his stuff...and then reversing out of Benoits mat exchanges (but fuck no mat exchange was gonna matter after the Regal/Eugene chain stuff). On the other hand having Shawn work a bodypart instead of trying to sell a body part is smart. Match was real good. For Benoit vs. AWA tag champ, better than the least Benoit vs. Barry Bloom and at least as good as the best Benoit vs. Enos.
What Didn't Work
TKG: HBK whips out the Orihara moonsault. Fuck I was hoping Orihara was gonna answer Chavo's challenge.
PAS: Rape angles really only work with "cool heels" like DX Helmsley and K-Kwick. When a scary guy rapes a girl it is just creepy.
TKG: Hopefully now that Victoria's lost the title, she can go back to spending more time with Stevie. He's really hurting.
PAS: Man when did Tom Pritchard start looking like such a hippy. You get the sense now that he got the "Dr." name for his ability to score pharmaceuticals.
TKG: The kids at Burning Man used to call him the Doctor of the Drum Circle.
PAS: He got his Doctorate from that Trancendental Meditation college in Iowa that always runs a Presidential candidate.
TKG: Pritchard sees Kim with a black eye and tries to cure her with EST.