My New York football teams found new and unusual
ways to humiliate me (the only person who has scored less then the Giants
is well... ME) and someone thought that it would be great that here in
Arlington, VA, the six football teams I got the pleasure of watching would
be (in no particular order) the Chargers, Ravens, Bears, Lions, Eagles
and Redskins. So I am really bitter and disgruntled.
What Worked
I think it is a pretty well established fact that the WWF's video packages
are usually top shelf; the extended Survivor Series preview being no exception.
Of course the part on Mick Foley was OFF THE CHART. It has gotten to the
point that WWF could make a Kane vs. Undertaker 90 minute marathon match
look somewhat compelling (that of course is NOT a request).
Mr. Blackman, I would like you to meet Gangrel. He will be your guide to
a watchable wrestling. This was nothing to write home about but it finally
ended the unwatchable string of wrestling that had been tainting Heat since
the Hardy Boys/LOD 2000 match from two weeks ago. Now, Gangrel shouldn't
need the assistance of the Brood to beat Blackman but that would be like
asking for my cake and eating it too.
Despite the fact that it was one of the stupidest things I have ever seen,
the Blackman beating the Blue Blazer like a pinata had me and my roommate
laughing our asses off. Probably because it was a complete parody of every
other time someone dropped from the ceiling. I mean it was what we wished
happened to Sting every time he repelled down. You wanted someone to waffling
him as he just swayed in the breeze, unable to get down.
Give it up for Steve Regal and X-Pac beating each other really hard. The
end of show brawl started and as soon as those two became involved my attention
became focus on them. And GOOD LORD was it worth it as Regal introduces
his hand to Waltman's nose. It was about as stiff as you are going to get
in this federation.
What Didn't Work
Farooug and Bradshaw attacking DOA was the anti-Regal/X-Pac. If you haven't
been paying attention, Farooug and Bradshaw are now followers of Jackyl.
HAPPY, HAPPY!!! JOY, JOY!!! (I think is dripping with enough sarcasm.)
Tiger Poop Shit wrestled and for even a second did you think it was going
to work? Poop Shit and Val Venis wrestle for an absurdly long time. Long
enough to work in an abdominal stretch and a cruddy Godfather run in.
For the second straight week, the J.O.B squad couldn't quite make it over
the hump and make it into the top half of this column. This week was a
lot tougher since they were wrestling Droz and Animal. Don't fear Bob Holly.
Put away the tissues Scorpio. Soon either the Hardy Boys or KDX will be
along to take you by the hand and carry (I mean that both in the literal
and figurative sense) to the promised land.
Marc Mero and Sable had a fight over THE STICK. Jackie attacked Sable and
made it all go away. Thank you Jackie. I don't hate you this week.
Phil Rippa