I'm trying to write this report with having no knowledge of what actually happened at THE SUMMERSLAM (TM Bret Hart) but I listened to the last two matches on scramble-vision because X-Files was over and I was bored. Oh well.
What Worked
I never
thought I would put a LOD 2000 match in the what worked column but this
one did because hey, Too Much got a nice clean pinfall on national TV.
Animal was in for the whole match and he is the good half of LOD (which
is like picking out the best member of Hanson). Plus, the match was really
short and it was wrestling and not talking.
The
pro-Knicks crowd booing Anthony Mason. Maybe if he had scored a few more
points and grabbed a few more boards and abused one less girlfriend, we
wouldn't have gotten rid of his sorry ass.
What Didn't Work
Let's all
take a trip back two years to Summerslam '96 when Vader was in the main
event against Shawn Michaels. Vader was the monster heel of the federation
and he was way over. He had decent matches and was doing a good job of
putting food on the table. Fast forward to Heat and you see that Leon has
eaten all the food on the table as he does the job to DOA and puts on the
worst exhibiton of brawling I have seen in a long time. I'm not even sure
they would take him in Big Japan.
"Do
Not criticize one another, my brothers. Whoever criticizes a Christian
brother or judges him, criticizes the Law and judges it." (James 4:11)
So with that in mind. Look! Dustin Runnels is actually in the ring. He
sure is not wrestling even though Gangrel tries his best to drag something
respectable out of this match. I am humored by the fact that Dustin can
fit his whole message across the back of his shirt in like 80-point type.
Sable
talked and Michaels started at her chest. If I wanted to see air head blondes
with fake boobs bouncing around as frat boys ogle them, I'll just go to
campus. THIS IS A FREAKING WRESTLING SHOW.
Jeff
Jarrett and Southern Justice cut the Fink's hair. And I get to watch. Oh
Boy. If I want to watch a hair vs. hair match, I'll go back and watch El
Hijo de Santo vs. Negro Casas vs. El Dandy.
That
music video sure wasn't good the first two times I watched it. It sure
didn't get any better this time around. Between this video and the Bubba
Rey Dudley, I don't know how any self-respecting person can listen to "Highway
To Hell" anymore.
God
what else happened on this really, really bad show. Umm, DX and the Nation
kinda fought with each other. There were a couple of really poorly executed
segments with Austin, McMahon, et al.
How
cute. They let Mario Lopez talk about getting into it with Val Venis. There
is no actual wrestling which now forces me to humiliate myself by breaking
down what happened to the cast of Saved By The Bell.
Phil Rippa