Starting this week I take over this bad boy. Hopefully, USA picks the show up quick so my run doesn't end as quick as it started.
What Worked
Droz's new
hair. Hey Darren, here's the Borshoi Kid's number. She can teach you how
to do some really cool stuff with the one strand.
Edge
and Brian Christopher had the best actual wrestling match that has made
it onto this show yet. Christopher brought out the best in the rookie as
Adam Copeland had his best match yet. Lawler's kid kept things flowing
smoothly and got over Edge's offense while not compromising himself. The
sunset flip to the floor was as about as good as you would expect from
a WWF program. I would probably really dig the Downward Spiral if it weren't
for the fact that is just another in the unending variation Diamond Cutter/Stunners.
Hey Edge is disturbed, he comes from the rafters and he's already a better
wrestler than Sting.
I'm
indifferent towards David Heath so I debated for awhile about were the
Gangrel match was going to fall. I remember seeing him in USWA or Global
or UWF or any other defunct federation and that is about it. He has developed
the unfair Internet label of not being a good wrestler by a bunch of people
who have seen no more that one match of his. Because his choice in wives
isn't up to their standards he's no good. Anyway, the blood-enhanced Muta
spray helped move this into what worked but what cemented the deal was
the great suplex DDT. Hey did I mention that I can never get enough of
Too Much.
The
WWF has never been known for its stiff workers (Insert loose Hooter girl
reference here). But with the inception of the Brawl for All and the signing
of Steve Regal, it was only a matter of time before the beatings picked
up in earnest. Enter Southern Justice and X-Pac. Mr Waltman was not afraid
to put his foot right across someone's face TWICE. Meanwhile, Canterbury
and Knight seem to have finally found their niche as for the second straight
week they take out all previous aggressions on someone's hide. How can
you not love punching people repeatedly in the nose? Mother Fucking Southern
Justice future tag team champions - learn to love it.
If the
WWF spent as much time on the actual booking of their matches as they do
put into their video packages, they would be making money hand over fist.
They could make almost anything sound appealing. The Austin/Undertaker/Kane
promo at the beginning was a perfect way to recap the feud without having
the same 10 minute interview open the show that everyone has seen. It also
keeps the Undertaker and Kane away from wrestling just a little bit longer.
What Didn't Work
If you haven't
figured it out yet Shane McMahon is not a good announcer. Bringing skanky
women who are paid to sit next to you and yelling at an armbar does not
make one a good wrestling announcer. I was on the phone with a friend at
the beginning of the show. Since he was hearing McMahon for the first time,
he was enjoying it. I told him to call me back when he got tired of the
screaming. Four minutes later he called back.
The
Mankind/Kane vs. Droz/Animal match was very close to working but there
was way to much Kane and Animal and not enough Mankind or even Droz. And
without the new bump machine - drunk Hawk - around this just wasn't going
to make the best of Sunday Night Heat tape.
Sable
and Jackie once again prove that breast implants do not improve IQ. Glad
to see that Jackie still has the outfit from the Kevin Sullivan retirement
match. Someone please tell me why I have this nagging feeling that in 50
years, Sable is going to be that crazy cat lady that every neighborhood
has.
Hey
Dustin Runnels hope you have a few deities lined up because I go to church
every week and I love Jesus very much and I can tell you with a certain
confidence that he is NOT coming back for your sorry no-talent ass.
Vader
takes another big step towards becoming one-half of the Big Japan Tag Team
champions as he has a nothing match with Bart Gunn. Why is it that even
though Gunn is a decent wrestler he is going to be saddled with the brawler
gimmick? Okay Bart, forget drop kicks and coller and elbow tie-ups. Just
punch and cover up a lot. Oh that's right, it's because he has a big left
hook. HEY GUYS! IT SAYS WRESTLING ON THE FREAKING MARQUE!
Until
Tiger Ali kicks a basketball away from a little kid, he is permanently
entrenched down in this half of the report.
Look,
the Undertaker continues to have that contest with Taz to see who can be
the shittest chatty wrestler. This was just not good.
Phil Rippa