Boy, we Heat sucks that bad it really is hard
to get motivated to right ANYTHING let alone something slightly entertaining.
What Worked
Too Much
getting a win. Relish it boys, it probably will be the last one you ever
see in the WWF.
Thank
You Vince McMahon for proving that there are white guys who dance worse
than I do.
The
first sign of Terry Taylor's influence in the federation: the Triple Threat
match was actually done correctly in the fact that it was an elimination
match.
What Didn't Work
I want someone
to tell me that all that stuff with the Oddities, Droz and DOA was a big
horrible acid flashback or something. Even if they are going towards "sports
entertainment" you are still not going to win me over on your product by
having Droz beat up Giant Silva with a pole.
The
Corporation. THE STICK. 10 long minutes. Somebody kill me please. Somebody
kill me please. I'm on my knees! Pretty Pretty please! Kill me! I want
to die. Put a bullet in my head.
The
video package recapping the Al Snow/Road Dogg situation was nice but when
you are doing the same thing that has made someone else in your federation
a legend it is going to take a lot more than acting crazy and jumping through
a table.
Maybe
the fact that nobody's implants exploded should move the women's match
into the what worked category. Maybe the fact that Shane told Sable to
just sit there and act like the showpiece that she was paid to be should
move the women's match into the what worked category. But when you look
at the actual wrestling (and I use that term incredibly loosely) the women's
match should stay right here.
Hey
Val Venis is humping Ken Shamrock's sister. Good. Good for him. Hey, Ken
Shamrock is all upset about it. Good. Good for him. Hey, the Godfather
is trying to wrestle. Bad. Bad for us.
The
truly wretched fashion statements being made these days. What exactly was
Too Much wearing? I had to turn down the brightness on my screen. It looked
like they jumped Joseph and his 12 brothers. And are any of the colors
that the Godfather had on in the color spectrum? Quick memo to Chyna: The
object of pants is to find something that COVERS your ass.
The
problem with the tag match was there were two many variables going on.
You have two guys who can wrestle (X-Pac, Owen Hart). One guy he is really
improving. (Dee Lo). One who feels it every once in a blue moon. (Jeff
Jarrett) And two who stink beyond belief (Marc Henry, Triple H). So there
were spurts of good wrestling (re: Dee Lo's Sky Hi; X-Pac trying to kick
people in the face) but Hunter would wander in deliver a couple of high
knees and things would come to a screeching halt. Hart wasn't doing anything
in this match. He worked on sheer motor memory including applying the worst
looking Sharpshooter. Then you have Jarrett who decided to be the bump
machine in this match when no one else was. He gets posted and takes a
stair bump. I all for Jeff trying but when no one else is, it looks really
awkward. When Sean Waltman gets outbumped you know something is amiss.
Then they still found a way to screw up the ending. Debra kept herself
clothed but Chyna comes in and does the one thing she knows how to do.
And that is all she wrote.
Phil Rippa